MST of Knight Squadron By FFirc MST crew (Gary, Lerche, Andrew, Zoogz, Pi, Nightman) and David (fido) Lindquist. Disclaimer: Mystery Science Theater (MST) and all characters associated with them are the property of Best Brains Productions. They are being used without permission. Knight Squadron was written by Mr. X and is being used with his permission. All other character are copyrighted by their respective owners. They are ALSO being used without permission. Note: This takes place during the episode 'Prince of Space'. I would like to thank Gary, Zoogz, Sean (Hotaru) Gaffney and the other people who made this fic possible. Thank you. """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" The scene opens with Pearl and Observer in the Widowmaker (an intergalactic VW Microbus). Behind their craft, tethered by a long rope, is the Satellite of Love. Both crafts are in a wormhole. Everything is lit with a bright green glow. Well? See anything yet? No, nothing. Pearl hits the steering wheel with her hand. (angrily) If he causes my slot machines not to be invented I'll... Observer, with a worried look on his face, interrupts Pearl. Oh no.... (irritated) What? Do you have to go to the bathroom? Because if you do, you're going to have to hold it because we are not stopping, mister! No... I have a feeling that something bad is about to happen. As soon as the words left his mouth, both Observer and Pearl disappear. They reappear in what looks exactly like the movie theater on the Satellite of Love. Both of them are still in the same positions they were on the Widowmaker, Observer sitting with his brain in his lap and Pearl with her arms out grasping a now nonexistant steering wheel. I think you are just...so...full.... of.. (Shocked) What the hell? Pearl drops her arms down and looks around the room. Where are we? Hmm... We seem to be in the Satellite of Love's theater room. Pearl hits Observer. I can see that! Now how did we get here?!? Apparently we must have hit a dimensional distortion. It must have dropped us here. There is no cause for alarm though because it's only temporary.. I hope. Observer acts like he is listening to something. Someone else is coming. Prof. Bobo appears in the seat next to Pearl. His arms and legs are flailing about like he is falling. AHHHHHHhhhh...huh? Prof. Bobo looks next to him and sees Pearl. Hello Lawgiver! (Looks around) I like what you have done with the Widowmaker. Pearl begins to move towards Prof. Bobo in an apparent attempt to throttle him. Observer is watching them. However before she can touch him, the screen at the front of the movie theater activates. (Booming) SO, MY GUINEA PIGS HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED! The Pearl, Prof. Bobo and Observer look at the screen. On it they see the very familiar faces of Mike Nelson, Crow and Tom Servo. They are wearing lab coats and look somewhat more sinister than usual. The three appear to be standing in front of a control console, in a laboratory. Pearl and the others look surprised. (shocked) Nelson? What in the wide, wide world of clog dancing are you doing there?!? (Booming) GETTING READY TO BREAK YOUR WILL OF COURSE! (Cackles madly) Crow nudges him slightly. Umm...Sir? (booming) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...WHAT IS IT CROW? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M GLOATING NOW? Of course you are sir...but your volume control is on the fritz again. (booming) NO IT ISN'T! Tom Servo speaks up. Sir? As much as I totally loathe even being in the general area of support for anything that walking junkpile says.... this time I have to concur. Dr. Nelson starts to get angry at the accusations his two assistants are making. (booming) LOOK! MY VOLUME CONTROL IS JUST FINE! IF THERE WAS A PROBLEM WITH IT, THAT INDICATOR LIGHT (Dr. Nelson points to a blinking light on the console) WOULD BE BLINKING JUST LIKE IT IS....WELL HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? THE VOLUME CONTROL IS BROKEN. I GUESS I'M SO USED TO HEARING MYSELF TALK I DIDN'T NOTICE. Crow and Tom begin to shout words of praise. Magnificent deduction sir! As usual Dr. Nelson, your brilliance is truly amazing! Dr. Nelson acts modest. AW SHUCKS! I BET YOU SAY THAT TO ALL THE GREAT SCIENTIFIC MINDS IN THE UNIVERSE....WELL LET'S SEE IF WE CAN FIX THIS. While Dr. Nelson and the bots try to fix the console, the three in the theater recover somewhat from the shock. Pearl's eyes are still bulged out, Observer seems intrigued by the whole thing while Prof. Bobo is ignoring the whole thing and examining a toenail. (whispers)DOCTOR Nelson?!? Hmm...in this universe, it seems that Nelson is the one running the experiment and that we are the guinea pigs......Quite astounding when you think about it. (whispers) Not astounding..... nauseating. However, before they can say anymore, their conversation is interrupted by Dr. Nelson's exclamation. AHA! THERE WE go...Hmm, is that better? (booming)JUST FINE DOCTOR... (booming)YEAH, SOUNDS PERFECT TO US! sigh... Dr. Nelson returns to work on the console. Pearl uses this reprieve to tell Observer something. Brain Guy, I want you to zap them...now! Observer concentrates on Dr. Nelson and the bots but nothing happened. (surprised)What the..? He tries again. (confused) I..I don't understand this?! It...It should work but...They must have some kind of shield. So for short, you are more useless than usual. Great... Just great! As Pearl grumbles, Dr. Nelson finally appears to have fixed it and turns his attention back to Pearl. So where was I?... Oh yeah! I remember now.(Cackles madly) Okay...your fic for tonight is a disaster called Knight Squadron by a Mr. X. Pearl crosses her arms in defiance. And if I don't review it? Well then I'll just have to cut off your access the George Clooney channel! Pearl's face drains of color. Yeah! No more 'All Clooney! All the time!' Well? What are you waiting for?!? Let's get this fic on the road!!! > Knight Squadron Part I > A Bubblegum Crisis and Exo-Squad crossover Well, we were warned... >Starring >The Knight Sabers Why are they called the "Knight Sabers" instead of the "Saber Knights?" I don't know!! Go ask your mother! > Able Squad > Phaeton > The Exo-Fleet > The Imperial Navy ExoSquad: "I have seen the future. Bad haircuts all around!" >By: MR. X > Send comments to MRX0001101@AOL.com X marks the slop, I suppose... When Mr. X isn't writing he can be seen racing the speedways of the world under the moniker Racer X. And when he's not doing that, he's saving the world as Mutant X... >This takes place before the episode "The Brood" Well, brood is thicker than water.. > (Scene: Megatokyo 2033) MegaTokyo is a dark and lonely place... What? Are they all taking lessons from Ryoga? >The Knights Sabers were mopping up their last rogue boomer job What a sad day in history. The Knight Sabers are busted down to ordinary janitors. Apparently, they're using Mackie as a mop... ..and they are moping as they mop... Ryoga taught them well... >Nene: Sylia, I picking up a large disturbence just a >few feet away, near Priss's position And what is Priss's current position, anyway? Linebacker. Sylia: "Priss? Have you been eating refried beans again?" >Sylia: Nene can you give more information? >Nene: Its a temperol distrubence There's a disturbance in the spell-checker And the grammar checker isn't so hot either. Unless it's a disturbance in food, then it's a "tempura disturbance" Temperol?...Isn't that the non-stick stuff that's on the space shuttle? >Priss notices that she is being sucked in > Priss: Help! So this fic sucks? Is that what they're telling us here? Priss: "Oh great! Now I need to change my underwear!" Sylia: "Uh, Priss, you're aren't wearing any underwear." Priss: "Damn!!" Are you sure this is a cross-over with the Exo-squad and not with Overfiend? >Priss is sucked into the vortex > Sylia: Come on, we're going in after her! Linna: "Do we have to?" >(Scene: Phaeton city) > The Knight Sabers find themselves in unfamiliar >surroundings. Basically it was a warzone, with >bombed out buildings, craters, etc. Phaeton City, east of Muncie! You have to love descriptions that use "etc," >Priss: Where fuck are we! > Nene: The better question is when? Yes, when Priss gets under stress, she talks like Shampoo. >Sylia looks at the street sign > Sylia: Phaeton City? What is this the Twilight >Zone? No, this is Phaeton City! Didn't you read the narration!!! It's a Phaeton worse than death! >Then a squad of Neo E-frames greet them Neo : "Hail, and well met!" Neo: "Hello! We're the Neo-sapian Church of Higher Consciousness...Care to make a donation?" >Neo: Surrender Terrans!! >Nene: I don't think that they are friendly. So they obliged, by handing over all the Terrans they were carrying. >Priss: Duh! What was your first clue? My first clue was that it wasn't the candlestick! Well, nothing the narrator said.... > Sylia extends her mono blade EWWWW! Sylia has MONO!!! Priss: "Is this the time or the place for this, Sylia? All these hostile E-frames and all..." >Sylia: Take them down! > Sylia takes down the lead E-frame, Linna with her >grace turns one into ribbons Sylia: "Linna, stop using Grace as a weapon!" Then Linna proceeds to tie her hair with one. >Priss: Hey Freak! This fist is for you! Neo: "But I wanted a bike!!!" > Priss tears an E-frame apart with her bare hands. So Priss doesn't use guns anymore? Is Priss out of her armor now? I didn't know she was *that* strong. Nah! Ever since Viagra for women, she's been pumped! Priss *is* the She-hulk! Priss: "Priss SMASH!!" >While distracted Sylia is shot in the shoulder Distracted Sylia? What happened to the regular Sylia? >Nene: Sylia more bandits on the way! > Sylia opens a manhole cover Sylia: "We'll get the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to help us! Sylia: "Maybe I can get away before they notice..." Priss: "That's quite a manhole you've got there, Sylia." You know, I won't even go there... >Sylia (groaning): Everybody into the sewer! > Priss: Sylia? Priss: "Okay, but if I see a wizened old rat down there, I'm taking my chances with those bandits." >Sylia: I'm not in the bests of moods to argue! > Sylia clutches her shoulder as she climbs into the >sewers I wonder what would be the best of moods to argue with Sylia, anyway? I wonder if she's in a good mood then? Because bad moods make it really easy to argue. I wonder when she grew a third arm... >Linna: Sylia, grab a hold of me. I'll help you. > Sylia puts her weight on Linna Priss: "Hey, Linna! That's MY spot!" >Meanwhile the Earth Resistance was coming back from >a mission Tanaka: Napier, I picking up four >lifesigns in the tunnels west of us. Meanwhile, in some vaguely indeterminate other part of the fic... And someone else is looking for the Turtles... >Napier: Neo or Terran? Tanaka: "Both! Neither! I don't know!" How about neo-terran? >Tanaka: I'm unsure. >Napier: Eve, Voodoo and Jinx, you're with me. Napier: "Lee! Ricoh! Youngblood!" Napier: "Shaggy and Scooby? You guys see if you can't find the ghost!" Napier: "The rest of you stay put...and for God sakes NO SINGING!!! " >Back where the Knight Sabers are Linna is examine >Sylia wounds > Linna: I'm no doctor, but you're hit bad. That's okay, the guy who did this is no writer. Sylia: "Umm Linna? Why do I need to take my pants off to have you examine a shoulder wound?" Linna: "Are you questioning my medical judgement?" Sylia: "No...but..." >Sylia: We've better find medical help. > Priss: Quiet everyone, I hear someone coming Quiet! The plot might be coming! >The sound of E-frame servos got louder, Priss >readies her weapons And the verb tenses became completely random. > Napier: Hold it! Are you four, Terran or Sape? Napier: "Are you known for your work in the theater?" Napier: "Were you born on Earth or are you Human?" Napier: "We need to know because we have this quota and if I kill two more Sapes I get a free lava lamp!" >Priss is dumbstruck Nene: "That's nothing new..." > Priss: What the fuck are you talking about?! Duh... what does "human" mean again, George? >Linna: Sir, your question is contradiction, we're >terran and homo Sapien. Now can you gives some help >our friend is hurt bad. Yeah, you can tell that we're Terrans by our wonderful command of the language. Why aren't they blowing them away like they did the others? Plot contrivance >Napier: Alright, follow us. > The Knight Sabers follow the Resistance back to >their base of operations and got Sylia to a >makeshift medical area. So these resistance people trust the KS enough to walk right into their base? Well, it wouldn't be much of a fic if they all slaughtered each other upon meeting, now would it? >(Scene: Medical area) > Linna is appling a wet washcloth to Sylia forehead, > Priss walks in Linna is appalling? How good would you look after running around in a sewer? >Priss: How is she? > Linna: Not good, she burning up. She's got a fever >and a raging infection. that laser blast did some >damage to her. They must have shot her with the new flu laser. Her armor sure didn't provide much defense. Priss: "So...Did you get her wallet yet?" >Linna and Priss walk out as Napier walked in > Napier: Miss, Excuse me Napier: "..but are those Dockers?" Napier: "Now that your friends have conveniently left you alone with me, a stranger, it's PARTY TIME!" >Sylia opens her eyes > Sylia (weak): Yes. Napier: "Why don't you slip out of that grimy uncomfortable hardsuit and slip into a dry martini?" >Napier: I have a few questions to ask. Napier: "Do you know the way to San Jose?" Napier: "Now then...what's your favorite color?" Sylia: "Blue... no, yellow... AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....!" > Sylia (weak): I have one to ask. What year is this? Napier: "Why, it's 5318 according to the Swahili..." >Napier: 2153. Why? > Sylia: (weak) Myself and my friends are from 2033. >In a City called Megatokyo. Just one more question. >Does Genom still exist? Napier: "Only in fairy tales and bedtime stories, Sylia" >Napier is puzzled > Napier: What is Genom? > Sylia: (weak) I'll save that for another time. I >must save my strength. Sylia: "For the night of passionate sex, you little stud muffin, you!" Sylia: "I must rest until I get rid of this stupid (weak) marker." >Sylia falls back to sleep > Napier walks out > Napier: J.J. contact Exo-fleet. J.J.: "That's DY-NO-MITE, boss!" Napier: "I never got *MY* questions answered!!!" >J.J.: You're on boss > Admiral Winfield's face appear on the screen > Winfield: What is it Napier? Napier: "It's your face. On the screen. But that's not important right now." Napier: "Why did you stick me with a reject from a 70's sitcom?" Winfield: "Dammit, Napier! I was almost to the Kitchen, too!" Napier: "Sir? You wanted me to remind you to change your undies?" Winfield: "Damn my undies, man, this is WAR!" >Napier: Admiral, this not important but can you >people give me all information under the subject of >Megatokyo and under time index 2033. > Winfield: Done. You'll have the information >tomorrow. Winfield: "Our ISP is down right now. It'll be fixed by tomorrow." Well, you know that these guys aren't the American government... it'd take them five days just to *find* the information. And five more to meet with lobbyists.... > .Napier: Thanks. > Next day, Napier was looking at file about the > Knight Sabers Napier: "Well, it's nice that we know something about these people now, considering that we've given them free run of our base." Napier: "Hmm, measurements, turn-ons... I'm all set!" Napier: "Says here one of these women ran a women's undergarments store. Perfect..." >Eve: The Knight Sabers, huh? > Napier: Yeah, a group of mercnary, declaring war on > the largest corporation at the time Now, of course, there are MUCH BIGGER corporations.... >Linna walks in > Linna: Excuse me, my friend has taken a turn for >the worst, I need to get her to a doctor. Napier: "I can handle it. Where's that box of leeches?" Napier: "No...she just needs another treatment from the Love Doctor! >Napier: I'm sorry, the only doctors here are in Neo >force labor camps. > Linna: What are you talking about? Napier: "The doctors... you know, the doctors... they're gone, and stuff..." Napier: " No. Doctors. Which word DIDN'T you understand?" >Napier: Linna is it? > Linna: Yes. Napier: "Linna, there are no doctors." Linna: "But where are the doctors?" Napier: "AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGH!" >Napier: 50 years ago, a group of scienists created >this race of genitically enigneered race called the >Neo-Sapiens, to be used as workers in the mining >colonies on Mars. EXPOSITION TIME!! Napier: "Then these two mice had the idea that they could be used to take over the world. But they had to go back to the drawing board when all the workers would say was 'Hi Ho.'" Neo's: "Oh we've been...workin' in a Mars mine!..." >Disgruntle for being treated like 2nd citizens, they > revolted, took control of Mars and overran much of >Venus. Linna: "This is all well and good but where are the doctors? " >Now last year a NeoSapien name Phaeton, use the >Pirates of Saturn to advance his plans by drawing >the entire Exo-fleet and Imperial Navy to attack the >pirates, making a force larger than the Exo-Fleet >and the Imperial Fleet and attacking us while we >were defenseless. The Exo-Fleet and the Imperial Fleet were defenseless? Yes...those nasty Neos took away all their wood and hammers too! > They took control of Earth, Venus and Mars. The >Exo-Fleet and the Imperial Navy are now gathering > their forces. >Linna: Can you get a message to them to get Sylia > some Medical attention. > Napier shakes his head Linna: "Okay, they're aren't any doctors, but you can call a doctor, right?" Napier: "But of course. I know of one that will be more than happy to release your friend from her misery. Maybe he can help on you as well.. His name is Kevorkian." Linna: "Is he any good?" >Napier: No. > Linna: Well, the 3 of us have a decision to make, > because Sylia's life hangs in the balance Napier: "I say go for the mercy killing!" *Linna: "So what will it be, Knight Sabers? TV night or rent a movie?" Linna: "What do you think, squire? A burner, or a burier?" Linna: "Hmm...If she dies...I wonder if I can have her bunny slippers..." >Napier: You are extremely loyal to Sylia? > Linna: Myself, Priss, and Nene, are willing to take > bullet for each other or for Sylia. Linna: "Or just for the hell of it." Linna: "Mackie, on the other hand, we tried to shoot him as much as possible..." Linna: "Now getting shot with one is another matter entirely..." >In the main room of the base Linna, Priss and Nene >have a hard choice to make >Linna: We have a choice to make. Linna: "Bury Sylia, or cremate her?" Linna: "Should I go with the red vest or the blue T-shirt?" Nene: "No, we have a HARD choice to make. Aren't you listening to the narrator?" >Priss and Nene look at each other for the moment >Priss: What? Nene: "How much you think we'd get if we sold her for medical experiments? Nene: "If I said you had a beautiful body...would you hold it against me?" >Linna: In order to save Sylia, we will need join the >Exo-Fleet. It's the XO fleet! Using the galaxy's most advanced form of tic tac toe! Elevating it into a deathmatch... > Priss scowls Nene: "You know Priss? You look so sexy when you do that!" >Priss: I'm not joining the military all the rules >and regulations! Yeah! They won't even let you wander around a top-secret base unescorted! Linna: "I don't know Priss....I think a buzz-cut would look good on you.." >Linna: Priss, Sylia's life is in danger. This is the >only way, we can save her. Nene: "We can rebuild her..." Priss: "Well Sylia? Nice knowing ya!" Nene: "Make her stronger, faster..." Linna: "We *can* build a better Sylia! Now pass the rubber cement." >Nene: Even if Sylia is not dying, I'm in. >Linna: So am I. Priss? >Priss: All right, I'm in. >Linna: I'll talk to Sylia. Nene: "Let her know we're ready to go down in a blaze of glory!" Priss: "We are?" >The Medical Area >Linna walks, sits next to her and applies the wet >washcloth Behold the miracle of future medicine; the wet washcloth! Why do they have a medical area and no doctors? Because it's an HMO. All they have is a team of highly trained people to explain why you're not covered. Oh. >Linna: Sylia? >Sylia opens her eyes >Sylia: (Weak) Linna? Linna: "No, I'm a priest. It's time for your last rites." Father Linna? Sylia: "Why are you carrying that whip? AND WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES!?! >Linna: Sylia, the others and I had made a choice. We >can't save you unless we join the Exo-Fleet. As we all know, if you repeat the same plot point enough times, it becomes plausible. Sylia: "Oh god I'm doomed!" >Sylia:(Weak) Do what you need to do. >Linna smiles > Linna: thanks. Linna:"....You old bat!" >Napier's "office" >Linna walks in >Napier: Yes Linna? Linna: "They've assigned me as your new secretary. Care for some dictation?" >Linna: Contact Exo-Fleet. Tell them they have 4 new >recruits. Napier: "Oh, MAY I? Anything else you'd like me to do for you? Rearrange some files? Shine your shoes?" Napier: "Okay...we will do the physical and the stress test immediately...Now take off all your clothes and lie down on the desk." >The next day a shuttle piloted by Able Squad pick up >the Knight Sabers, Sylia is carried on stretcher >onto the shuttle. Marsala carries the crates >containing their Hardsuits The Able Squad? Who's their backup, the Willing Squad? The Ready Squad, I hope... Nah, it's the Cain Squad. But they're not the other squad's keeper. >Torres: Let's see what we got here. >Priss bolted from her seat Suddenly, Prof. Bobo transforms into Azusa. Jeanette is MINE! You can't have her!! Pearl looks shocked as she leans away from Azusa. What the hell is going on?!? Well, it's a side effect of the wormhole. You see...the wormhole bends time and space in such a way that the laws of reality twist as well. There by causing Professor Bobo remarkably handsome body and personality to be replaced with this human. Pearl is confused and irritated. She talks as she turns to face him. Handsome body? What are you... Instead of Observer, Pearl is looking at a bald, female gorilla holding a bowl with a brain in it.. Ahhh! What? Before she can respond, both Bobo and Observer turn back to their original forms. Pearl decides to drop the matter entirely. (muttering) The next time Bobo falls into a wormhole.. I'm just going to get a dog! Yeah...and I'll call her Ukyo! >Priss: Keep your hands out of those crates, or >you'll wind up in the hospital! Priss: "And there aren't any doctors there! Believe me, I know!" >Torres turns to Priss, and frowns >Admiral Payne: Excuse me Ms. Asagiri, thats Sgt. >Rita Torres. She is the Drill Sergant from Hell. Payne: "And over here we have the Lance Corporal from Heck, and the Private from Peoria..." Um... why is the Admiral on a recruitment ship? >Priss: Well, time to send the bitch back! Lucky thing she's still under warranty. Priss: "We want a male dog next time!" >Torres position herself for a fight Would someone PLEASE teach this writer about basic English grammar? Narrator take speech class from Shampoo. >Admiral Payne: And now Ladies and gentlemen. LET'S >GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!! WA HA HA! He became an admiral after being fired as an announcer on FOX. >Marsh: Back off Sgt. >Torres: Lt? Great taste! Less filling! It's Torres Light! Sme. tell this wtr. not to use so mny. abbr. Hey, if he's a rear admiral, does that make him a Payne in the butt? >Marsh: Back off Sgt! >Payne: Thanks JT, I just about to start placing >bets. Payne: "It's not like *I* could've ordered them to stop... being only a lowly admiral..." >Marsh: Sorry spoil your fun. (turns to Linna) how is you friend? >Linna: If we don't get her to a doctor, she'll die. Linna: "Or worse, she'll be (weak) for the rest of her life!" Marsh: "And this concerns me how?" >Marsh: Don't worry, there's always hope. >(Scene: Sickbay on the Resolute) Sickbay on the Roulette? Well, looks like there's no hope! >Sylia was rushed into the Sickbay in critical >condition Where she was made to fill out forms for the next 6 hours. >5 hours later Admiral Winfield walks in Winfield: "Well, we have good news and bad news. The good news is she's alive. The bad news is that we accidentally splashed experimental water on her. She's now a guy." Priss: "That's bad news?" >Winfield: How is Ms. Stingray? >Doctor: She'll be fine. Now that she's over her case of acute plot contrivance. Doctor: "..as soon as she stops thinking she's Cutey Honey." Sylia: "Honey FLASH!" >Winfield: Can I talk to her? >Doctor nodded. Winfield walks over to Sylia's >bedside and sits down >Winfield: Ms. Stingray? >Sylia: Yes? Winfield: "Are you aware that here in the future, all sexual harassment laws have been repealed? Mweh heh heh!" Sylia: "But my name is Cutey Honey, not Sylia." Winfield: "I'm sorry but you are not attractive enough to join Exo-fleet...So out the airlock you go!" >Winfield: I'm Admiral Winfield, I've received you're >request for enlistment. After reading your files, >I've deciced you and your Knight Sabers as members >of the Exo-Fleet. You'll be assigned to the English Grammar battalion. With Shampoo as your head commander. Winfield: "We're always looking for a few good men... all the better that they're women!" >Sylia: I have a request, sir? >Winfield: Name it. Sylia: "A real doctor, please? All this guy's done is a Pap smear." Sylia: "Could you see to it that Linna is thrown out a airlock at the first available opportunity?" Sylia: "Priss is mine!" Sylia: "Can you find us a hentai guy for us to kick around? We left our last one at home..." >Sylia goes into detail Winfield: "But where am I going to get the squids?!?" >Scene: Resolute's hanger) > Priss, Linna, and Nene were waiting for Sylia. >Sylia walks in, wearing an Exo-Fleet uniform >(identical to JT's) JT: "Hey! GIVE ME BACK MY CLOTHES DAMNIT!!" Wow, she's recovered in record time. Acute Plot Contrivance heals quickly. >Sylia: Ok, People, we're now a part of the >Exo-Fleet. As an E-frame >squadron, I have already made out the chain command Sylia: "And the whips of command as well." > Knight Squadron > Commander Sylia Stingray- Squadron Leader From Recruit to Commander...what, no basic training? I think she already passed the officer's "test" with Winfield.. >Lt. Cmdr. Nene Romanova- Electronic Warfare >Master Sgt. Priss Asagiri- Heavy Weapon and Assault >E-frame >Sgt. Linna Yamazaki- Close range Melee Private Mackie, comic relief >Sylia: Ok, that's break down. I will modifiy the >hardsuits to handle the vaccum of space and upgrade >our weapons. Okay, wait up here. She just had a life-threatening shoulder injury. Now she's a mechanic's aide, something she outranks by a long shot anyway? Another thing... didn't the Knight Sabers join the Exo-Squad here to get Sylia to a doctor? She's all healed... let's go now.. You haven't seen the medical bill.... >I will also build the advanced >Motoroids. Sylia: "Because that's what commanders should do. Now bring me a crescent wrench and a car battery!" Winfield: "Don't you mean a fusion power pack?" Sylia: "Oh, yeah... That!" >Priss: Alright, when do get to see some action? Certainly not in this fic. Sylia starts undressing. "Right now sugar!" >Sylia smiles Sylia: Soon Sgt. Again w/ the abbr.! Sylia: "Very... soon. Now drop and give me twenty, sergeant!" Priss: "WHO IN THE HELL IS THIS SGT. GUY?!??!" > To Be continued > Part II: Launch Knight Squadron Yeah right. Can't wait. Are we done yet? I still have to go to the little ape's room! >Winfield: (voice over) If Exo-Fleet supply can build >Hot-headed and strong-willed individuals the way we >build E-frames.... Winfield: "...They'd all kill each other." Winfield: "We'd win the war...but I would be out of a job so..." Yes, become an Admiral and YOU TOO can do mighty voice-overs! >Sgt. Priss Asagiri would be standard issue. And they would all wear blond wigs during combat. >With a temper as bad as Priss' she is the last >person you would want to screw with, Not in my opinion! She would be the perfect lifemate! >one would say what would happen inside a reactor >until it explodes Can someone PLEASE translate this into English? Sorry Pearl. Not even I can do that... Winfield: "I know, I've personally tested her last night..." The trio watches as the screen that fed them the fic fades out then fades back in to the lab. Dr. Nelson and his two assistants are waiting expectantly for their response. What did you guys think of the fic? Urk! Gah! What they said. After a few minutes, Observer recovers enough to speak. Let's see... the grammar, spelling, and punctuation were poor.... ... the plot was forced, and not at all interesting... ... the dialogue did little more than repeat the plot points over and over... ... what am I missing? and a some of it was out of character... Actually....as far as fics go this is a good outline.... Dr. Nelson, first asst. Crow, and second asst. Tom Servo look concerned. Any ill effects? Pearl, Observer, and Prof. Bobo shake their heads. Not really.. Except for our initial reaction, I don't feel any after effects.. Any feelings of weakness? Pearl, Observer and Prof. Bobo confer for a moment then answer. Unuh.... You don't want to tear your eyes out and run screaming on you hands and knees before us in total and complete obedience? Nope...Sorry. Dr. Nelson and his assistants stare calmly at the other three then suddenly.... WAAAAAHHHH!! Another failure! Tom begins to repeatedly hit his head on the table. It's not fair! Thunk! You should be writhing in agony now! Thunk! Crow and Dr. Nelson begin to console Tom, then Dr. Nelson looks up and glares angrily at Pearl and the other two. (Angrily) Now see what you have done?!? Dr. Nelson turns back to Tom. (soothingly) There, there, Tom. It's okay.. Yeah! We'll have them groveling at our feet in no time! Tom looks up. ...*sniff.. R-really? Of course we will and you know what? No what? Just to cheer you up, I'm going to let you play with their atmosphere control. Tom starts to hop around happily. (sing-sing) I get to suffocate the guinea pigs! I get to suffocate the guinea pigs! In the theater, Prof. Bobo looks defiant, Pearl looks horrified but Observer is just polishing his nails looking bored. (bold voice) HA! We don't need any of your atmosphere!! Pearl turns to Prof. Bobo starts hitting him. She is talking while she hits him. (Angrily) WE..(BAP)..NEED..(BAP).. ATMOSPHERE..(BAP)..YOU..(BAP) IDIOT!!!(BAP, BAP, BAP) Observer interrupts. (nonchalant) Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. Pearl turns to Observer, still upset. Oh you wouldn't huh? Well before I kill you, care to tell me why? We aren't going to be here. At the finish of his sentence, Pearl, Prof. Bobo and Observer disappear and reappear back in the Widowmaker. They are still traveling in the wormhole. Prof. Bobo is nowhere to be seen. (smugly) See? Pearl slaps him on the back of his head. Nobody likes a wise brain! As Observer tries to recover from the slap, Pearl gets a insightful look on her face. You know something. This whole experience has really affected me. Being in someone else's shoe can really give you a perspective you haven't had before. Sometimes that can makes you want to reevaluate your life and maybe change parts of it. Maybe it's time for a kinder, gentler Pearl.... Pearl looks at Observer. Observer stares back. NAAAAAH! END Visit us on IRC channel #fanfic, server irc.newberry.edu or via Java at http://irc.newberry.edu:8080 Also visit our FFIRC MST archives at http://www.nabiki.com/mst