MST3001 - Episode 3007 "Divine Passion" - Part Two Magic Voice: Series Sign in Five, Four, Three... [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Bridge] "This REALLY sucks." Washu shook her head. "Normally I could transport right out of here, but when I left my lab unexpectedly, my main computer shut off. And it's that main terminal that allows me to use most of my nifty powers..." Mike scratched his chin. "Then why do you have it shut off at all? Seems like it'd come in handy to keep it on, just for times like this! "Ah heh heh. It's kind of a failsafe. I have the computer regulate several VERY potent, uh, 'experiments', and if the main servers didn't shut down in my absence, the world would sorta come to an end." Washu put one of her arms behind her head and laughed nervously. "Shoot, that NEVER bothers Mike!" Tom said. "He goes through planets like Wimpy though a plate of Big Macs!" "Ix-nay on the Estroyer-day of Orlds-way, Ervo-say!" Mike hissed. Turning back to Washu, he asked. "We're as interested in getting down from here as you are, Washu. Isn't there a way you could turn your stuff back on from up here?" Washu blinked. "That's the strange thing! Normally, I can maintain a mental link with my systems from many parsecs away... but now, for some reason... I just can't. It's like there's a blanket of energy surrounding the satellite. Dark, brooding, strangely familiar energy." "Dark, syrupy kind of energy?" Mike asked. "Why, yes!" Washu replied. "Kind of a purplish flavor?" Washu nodded. "That would be the Brain Guy. He's from a race that calls- eh, called itself 'the Observers'." Washu's eyes lit up. "No way! White complexion, bald, carries their brains around everywhere?" "That'd be them, yes." Mike affirmed. "And this 'Brain Guy'. Is he a particularly ugly one?" "I'd have to say yes to that one, too." "Ah HA!" Washu exclaimed. "I *thought* that aura was familiar! I used to know him back when he and I were both in the Galactic Academy! Hell, I even tutored him a little." "Whoa whoa whoa." Tom interjected. "How can you *tutor* an omniscient being?" Washu put her chin in one hand, thoughtfully. "Pheh. He might of been a know-it-all, but he SUCKED at assertiveness training. He used to let people walk all over him, especially big, motherly domineering kind of people. Sad, really." She looked up. "Is there anyway I can talk to him? I can straighten this right out!" "Sure thing!" Inside, Mike was screaming with joy. Finally, someone got trapped up here with CONNECTIONS. "As long as he got back from that appointment- well, sure, there he is now!" Mike tapped the flashing yellow light. "Hey, Brain guy!" [Castle Forrester] "Yes, yes, what is it NOW, Mike?" The Observer saw Washu and dropped his brainpan in shock. "I-it can't be! Madame Washu, is that you?" [SOL Bridge] "Why, hello, Hank! It's been WAY too long! How's your mom been?" "'Hank' the Observer?" Mike muttered to himself. Tom whispered to Crow, "He has a *mom*?" [Castle Forrester] "Madam! How ever did you manage to get up there? I haven't heard from you since Delta Centauri went nova! Oh, nuts..." He stooped over briefly to retrieve the pan from the floor and regain some of his dignity. *"Yeah, that was my bad... look, any way you can get me home? I normally could do it myself, but your mental energy is getting in the way."* "O-of course! Anything for the only woman to out-think me in the Academy Astro-tele-meta-physics Bee, Madam Washu! But, pray, forgive me: I must wait until the movie is over before I sneak you down." The Observer glanced nervously around. "The last thing I want is for Pearl to find out something got through my mental shields, I'd never hear the end of it!" [SOL Bridge] Washu was speechless. "Wow" exclaimed Crow. "It's interesting to know that even the mutual respect that two awesomely intelligent beings built up over eons of existence can be over-ridden by fear of Pearl! Oh, Washu, that flashing light thing means we have Lemon Sign." "Gah!" Mike shouted as he, Crow, and Tom dove into the theater. Washu remain frozen in shock, the smile on her lips twitching. Crow wandered back and nudged Washu into the theater. "Geez," he muttered. "It's not THAT bad.." [ 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Theater] > ------- Washu: He is *so* off my Christmas card list... Crow: Spice up your lemons with Mrs. Dash! (They sit down as before) >"Mmm.... Keiichi-saaann...." Belldandy purred sensually, "You're getting me >all worked up again...." and began rubbing his penis with her palm. Tom: Jeeze, give it a rest already! >Keiichi groaned at the sensation, Crow: Gah-roan! >"Ohh.... that feels so good Bell-chan," he looked at her lovingly, "Eager >for more... action?" Mike: Eager? (laughs) We've been waiting for the action since the lemon began! >"Ahh...." Belldandy gasped as Keiichi began squeezing her breast tenderly, >"How shall we do it this time...." her voice was thin and raspy, and she >nibbled his ear playfully. Washu: (as Belldandy) Hey... This doesn't taste half bad... >How easily these actions came, Keiichi thought, now that they had made >love. >It seemed incredible that only a few hours ago, he would have needed all >his >courage just to hold hands with her. Crow: Those were beautiful times, back then, before all the damn SEX... Tom: (sighs) Yes, indeed... >"How about I let you decide, love?" Keiichi offered. His eyes were >twinkling. >Belldandy felt her heart skip a beat when she heard him call her "love", >"Dearest Keiichi-san...." tears of joy flowed freely down her cheeks. Mike: (British accent) And there was much rejoicing... Everyone else: (blandly) Yay... >Keiichi was almost overwhelmed by the radiance of her smile, "Well, what >will it be?" he prompted by caressing her smooth back with his other hand. Tom: Why, doesn't she have a spine? Mike: She cracked it in the first scene, remember? Tom: Oh yeah... >Belldandy thought for a moment, Crow: *Three* weeks later... >"Can I take you in my mouth again?" She asked Keiichi, "The first time was >too brief." Mike: ... not as far as *we're* concerned. Washu: Yes! If nothing else, *please* don't linger! >"I'm sorry about that, love." Keiichi apologized, "I'll have better control >this time. Tom: For thousands of years, man has sought the solution to the embarrassing problem of premature ejaculation, and has finally found the answer. That answer is Keiichi Morisato. Mike: (snickers) >And would you like me to return the favor" he rubbed her clit, "after >that?" All: NO!! >"Ah AH!" Belldandy exclaimed and her eyes snapped wide open at Keiichi's >touch. Washu: (as Belldandy) ACHOO! Crow: (as Keiichi) My Goddess! >"Oh yes, yes, that would be wonderful!" her voice was excited, "It would be >even better if we could do both at the same time...." and as she said that, Mike: ... her head exploded, coating the classroom with a thin film of gore. Tom: Hey, she wasn't doing calculus! Washu: Hmm? Lost me. Tom: Don't ask, Washu. Any lengthy explanations might get us on the subject of 'Mr. E-mail'. Mike: Yeah, let's not go there. >Belldandy knew how it could be done.... Crow: (deep voice) ... with mirrors. >So did Keiichi, "Yes we can. Let's try. We've got all night." He smiled at >her. All: (facefault) Washu: A-all n-n-night? > ------- Mike: Now dash away, dash away, dash away all! Tom: And don't come back! Crow: We don't like you! >"About time!" Urd remarked as Belldandy and Keiichi got into a sixty- >nine position- with Belldandy on top. Washu: On top of the sixty? I don't understand... Mike: I'll tell you when you're older... Washu: I'm thousands of years old! Besides, I'm playing dumb for the sake of HUMOR! Mike: Hey, you caught on to this pretty quick! Washu: (laughing) Greatest mind in the Galaxy, babe! >"What are they going to do?" Skuld asked. >"You don't know much about sex do you? Well, just watch and learn...." Urd >told her. Tom: The part of Urd will now be played be Alanis Morrisett... Crow: (singing) ... yes... I certainly do! > ------- Washu: At the speed of dash! >Belldandy stared at Keiichi's semi-hard member for a moment, then she >caressed his shaft, moving her hands slowly, lovingly, up and down along >its length. Crow: ... she didn't even have to move her head in order to do so. >Keiichi groaned and trembled at the sensation. Belldandy had her face so >close that he could feel her breathing on his shaft, it was unbearably >arousing.... Mike: No, just simply unbearable. >"Try to hold on longer this time Keiichi-san." she told him. Washu: (as Belldandy, darkly) ... or ELSE. Tom: It's not NICE to fool with Mother Nature... >Then her lips closed over his shaft. Crow: ... but it immediately caved in, burying her alive, the end. >"Ohh....Bell-chaaaannn...." Mike: (as Evil Keiichi) ... I'm coming to *kill* yoooou... >Keiichi groaned as he felt his penis tense when it entered her mouth. But >he managed to control himself and didn't explode like the first time. Washu: (sighing) Oh, boy... >Belldandy felt a little awkward, she couldn't move her mouth as smoothly as >she could the first time. Maybe its because I'm new to this, Belldandy >decided. Tom: ... so she sucks at it! Thank you! >But she continued anyway, her enthusiasm made up for her lack of >experience. >Belldandy became totally caught up in the moment, now that she could >properly >use her mouth on Keiichi.... Mike: ... well, maybe not the 'proper' part. >Keiichi was about to give in to the sensations when he remembered why they >were in this position. He hooked his hands around her waist and hauled >himself up to her mound. Washu: (as Keiichi) Still, I'd rather have an 'Almond Joy'... Crow: Why, he prefers nuts? Everyone else: CROW!!! Crow: What? WHAT!?! >Her clit was red and engorged, and her vaginal lips appeared damp. Tom: Clitoris Engorged? Did he just say Clitoris Engorged? Mike: No, he said Curious George, I think... Washu: Oh, I've read that story! I loved that yellow hat man... What was his name? Crow: Clitoris Engorged and the boy with red swollen head. >Keiichi began licking her organs. Mike: ... her liver, stomach, gall-bladder... Crow: Uh, Keiichi, honey, you went a little TOO deep... >It wasn't as easy doing it upside down, but- to Belldandy-the effect was >the same. Washu: ... she didn't notice it either way. >Belldandy managed a loud "Mpfh!" when Keiichi began. Tom: Belldandy's turned into Nene? Washu: Ne? Mike: (laughs) Don't ask, Washu... >She lurched forwards, crushing her breasts into his belly and driving >Keiichi deep into her mouth. She sucked him even harder and her tongue >worked frantically over his shaft. Washu: (winces) She's good with suppressing those pesky gag reflexes. Crow: Oh, no! HE'S BEING SUCKED IN! >Then it was Keiichi's turn to be smothered as Belldandy pushed her hips >back at him. All: YES! Tom: Kill him! Crow: KILL HIM!! >After some initial clumsiness, Mike: ... surprise, surprise... >Keiichi found a good way to work Belldandy. Tom: ... putting the 'secret sauce' onto the Big Macs. Crow: Now, this particular line is just BEGGING for a 'pimp' joke. Mike: And I thank you for not making one. Crow: (as Keiichi) Bitch! Don't be macking no- Mike: THANK YOU! >He would stick his tongue as deep into her vagina as he could and scoop up >her juices, then he would spread the load all over her sensitive clit. >This would make Belldandy work even harder on his penis, causing Keiichi to >tongue her harder in turn, pushing them both to ever higher levels of >arousal. Mike: Suddenly, the lemon degenerates into a Rube Goldberg invention. Washu: Belldandy (fig. 1) is on top of Keiichi (fig. 2), bouncing on top of futon (fig. 3) eventually causing them to back up on to nearby electrical outlet (fig. 4)... Crow: Hmm. Skuld would be proud. >They ground their bodies together tightly as they worked harder and faster >on each other. Tom: (as Peewee Herman) and it just keeps going, and *going*, and *GOING*!! Mike: (snickers) >"Sl... slow down!" All: (singing) ... take it easy... >Belldandy exclaimed as she released Keiichi from her mouth. Crow: SPEW!! >She had to slacken their pace, before she came too soon. Belldandy had seen >how his testicles were contracted against the base of his penis. Now she >decided to find out how they would taste.... Washu: Keiichi runs the full spectrum of taste. Salty, sour, sweet, and disgusting. >Belldandy sucked his testicles into her mouth and began playing with them >with >her tongue. Tom: Them must not be very hairy nuts... ick, why did I bring that up? >While she did, her hands continued to caress his rigid shaft delicately. Mike: ... while her feet launched into a lively tap dance. >Freed of the relentless pressure on his member, Keiichi slowed down his >efforts too. Then he figured out how to use his fingers on Belldandy >without >losing his grip.... Crow: Meanwhile, the audience already lost their grip... on their lunch. >The reprieve didn't last, they were just too hungry for each other. Washu: Not unlike the marriage of Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling. >Keiichi's added fingering made up for the slowing in his tonguing. Mike: Yeah, those tongues can sure slow down with age. >Belldandy soon went back to his penis. She kissed and licked it a few >times, then she thrust it halfway down her throat, her mouth rising and >falling rapidly on his member. Crow: Doesn't that make her dizzy? Tom: Maybe she's on motion sickness pills... Crow: Ah... >Keiichi pulsed and throbbed in her grasp, and mouth. Belldandy focused all >her attention on his manhood, trying hard to ignore the growing sensations >from her crotch, and to keep her climax at bay. Mike: (as Belldandy) Down, Climax! Stay, Climax! Good boy... >Keiichi was trying to do the same at his end too. Washu: He was trying to keep *her* climax at bay, too... >Giving more attention to what he was doing than how he was feeling. Tom: ... and? Crow: Complete sentences. Just another staple of a high-quality fanfic... >He had given up his other efforts, All: Yay! >deciding to just use his tongue in her vagina. All: Boo! >Neither of them could hold out much longer. Mike: We know the feeling, fanfic! >Their pace was quickening again, and this time it would be uncontrollable. >It became merely a matter of who would come first. Tom: ... or who went. Thank you! >Suddenly, Belldandy felt Keiichi thrust his tongue further up her cunt than >he ever had the whole night, he gripped her so tightly that she almost >yelped in pain. Washu: (winces again) Yeek! Mike: You share her pain, Washu? Washu: I can imagine it. >A second later, the new taste in her mouth told Belldandy that Keiichi >came. >Soon after, Belldandy joined him in climax. They swallowed each other's >juices with enthusiasm. Crow: ... and, why? *We'll never know!* BWAHAHAHAHAA!! >As before, Belldandy managed to swallow everything without spilling a drop, >while Keiichi took quite a load on his face. Mike: Thanks for sharing, post. I really needed help trying to picture it, too... Washu: This author thinks of *every* thing, doesn't he? >They relaxed as their orgasms past, collapsing in a heap on the futon. >Belldandy kept Keiichi in her mouth until he softened, cleaning his asoko >slowly and lovingly. Washu: And now for some totally gratuitous otakuese... Tom: (muttering) Look who's talking... Washu: Hey! I *AM* from Japan, y'know! >Between her legs, Keiichi did the same for Belldandy. When she was done, >Belldandy let his now-dormant member slip out of her mouth. She gave it an >affectionate kiss and laid it on his crotch. Crow: (deeply) Thy work is done, trusty weapon. Mike: And the Master Sword sleeps again... FOREVER! >Then she turned around to face Keiichi, and saw how his face was stained >with >her juices again. Washu: Ewww! That's not a stain! That's just his FACE! Tom: Hehehe! >Belldandy smiled sensuously, "You're all messy again, Keiichi-san. More >work for me then." She giggled, seemingly pleased at the prospect. Mike: As opposed to the utter dismay of the audience. >Then Belldandy began flicking her tongue over his face in an extremely >sensual >manner. Keiichi found it hard to believe that her simple actions could >revive >his erection so easily, but he couldn't deny the physical evidence. Bots: (hum the 'Dragnet' theme) Tom: (as Joe Friday) Just the facts, ma'am. Just the facts... Washu: (as Dana Scully) Fox, I do believe we finally found 'the truth'... > ------- All: (singing) Dashing through the fanfic... Crow: (singing) ... in a stolen Chevrolet! >"Oh.... wow...." was all Skuld could say, Mike: (as a stoner) Faaaaar out, man. >her eyes were glued to the screen. Tom: Skuld having formed a dark pact with Elmer's Glue. >This was all too new to her. She knew only a little about sex- just enough >not to want Keiichi doing it to her big sister- but actually seeing >Belldandy >do it to Keiichi was.... was.... Washu: ... something akin to a monkey trying to make love to a football. >There was nothing comparable in her entire existence. This was a whole new >area of experience that she had never known existed before. Mike: She experienced it, therefore it exists. Tom: Ya know, that is *so*... something... >As she continued to watch, Skuld began felt a twinge of guilt and shame. >She wanted to get up and run back to her room, but something deep inside >her compelled her to stay. Crow: Urd had her pinned on the floor... >I hope sis doesn't get angry with me if she finds out. I promise I'll never >tell anyone else what I saw. Washu: (as Skuld) ... I'll play charades and see if they can guess it *that* way! >Skuld fidgeted a bit, feeling an uncomfortable and unfamiliar pressure on >her body, Crow: (snickers) Yep, Urd had her pinned to the floor! Mike: This had better not be another one of Urd's 'Big Sister Breast Checks'... >she also realized that she had been breathing heavily for several minutes >now. She didn't notice that there was a small wet spot on the crotch of her >pants as well. Washu: Sheesh, you'd think she could have taken a break from watching porn to make a bathroom break. Tom: Show her a little porn, and she can't get enough, that's a *girl* for ya... Washu: (dangerously) Beg pardon? Tom: Uh, I mean... Oh, boy... >Urd felt real horny right now. Washu: ... just like a little certain hentai so-and-so... (glares at Tom) Tom: (flustered) I... I was just kidding! Sheesh! >But there wasn't anyone around for her to screw and she wouldn't beat off >with Skuld in the room. Mike: (snickers) So, this is how a goddess spends her spare time, eh? Crow: And her vocabulary! Man! It just inspires awe in the hearts of mortals... >Urd also desperately wanted to record the scene but, with Skuld present, it >was too much of a risk. Tom: Can't let on that she really *can* program a VCR! Crow: Otherwise, Skuld would *never* leave her alone... Washu: (as Skuld) C'mon, Urd! I want you to tape 'Sabrina the Teenaged Witch' for me! >And she couldn't just throw her out either. The consequences could be.... >devastating. Mike: Uh, how so? >At least she managed to catch to them in the act.... >It would have to make up for ruining a good pair of panties. Crow: More stuff you *didn't* want to know, but were told anyway! > ------- Tom: Look! Jumpin' Jack *Dash*... Mike: We're really starting to run out of jokes for these. >After cleaning his face, Washu: ... Belldandy began projectile vomiting. >Belldandy was deep kissing Keiichi passionately. Washu: Oh? Well, I was close... Mike: (laughs) Starry-eyed romantic, you ain't. Washu: (shrugs) Only if the situation demands it. >Keiichi returned the kiss while he squeezed her breasts and probed her >cunt. She was quite wet.... Crow: (monotone) Wow, this turns me on. >Belldandy broke their kiss, "Mmm.... Keiichi-saannn" she moaned softly. Tom: His full name's 'MmmKeiichi'? Mike: (snickers, sings) Mmmmmove over, Keiichi. >She looked at Keiichi with glittering eyes. Crow: Well, duh! She's an anime character, she's drawn that way! Washu: ... and I can vouch for that, too! >Her message clear. Tom: (as Belldandy) Get out of my room, Keiichi! You're icky! >Using his hands, Mike: (as author) ... or his feet, can't remember which... >Keiichi guided her back onto his erection. Washu: Hope they have a skilled air traffic controller to assist them! >Belldandy felt the tip of his member press against her vaginal lips, >"Shouldn't you be on top?" she asked. Tom: (as Keiichi) Of course, I'm the man-- AND THIS IS NOT MY PERSONAL OPINION IN ANY WAY AT ALL, I JUST SAID IT BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS HUMOROUS, 'KAY, WASHU!?! Washu: (hair blown back) Okay, I believe you, I believe you!! Tom: (calming down) Good. Washu: (leans over and kisses Tom) Besides... I can't stay mad at you... you're just too cute! Tom: ... Crow: Jeeze! Get a room! >"Let's try this position now, aright Bell-chan?" Mike: Ah, the dreaded king's pawn to king's pawn four opening move... Crow: The tension is *sooo* thick right now... >"Aright then....." Washu: Jim Carrey? Where'd HE come from? >With that, Belldandy pushed back, and swallowed Keiichi halfway into her >again. Tom: Black hole! There's no turning back!! >Keiichi arched his back and groaned, "Oohhhh.... You're hot and still so tight.... like a virgin, Bell-chan." Washu: Oh, I know, I know! 'Like a Virgin' by Madonna! Mike: Good girl! Unfortunately, you didn't phrase it in the form of a question... Washu: (pouts) Pheh, keep your miserable pop diva. >"It's because you make me feel this way, my love Keiichi-san." Mike: Then, maybe you will understand... Crow: (snickers) >Belldandy gasped. Tom: Gasp! >Putting his hands on her waist, Keiichi showed her how she should move. Washu: (singing) Put your right foot in, and your right foot out... >Belldandy began moving her hips slowly, a little unsure of herself. Crow: Simple. You put your hands upon his hips... Tom: ... then you dip... Crow: ... he dips... Tom: ... you dip! Thank you! >Meanwhile, Mike: ... something much more interesting was happening elsewhere. >Keiichi began a pumping motion of his own, digging his heels into the futon >and pushing himself up towards Belldandy as she slid along his length. Tom: (singing) You do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself about... >Being on top was quite different from lying down and letting Keiichi do the >moving, Belldandy soon found out. Not only did she have to move, but she >had >to move differently also. Crow: Had to add a little wiggle with her jiggle! > However, she was quick to learn from experience. Mike: (laughs) Oh, is *that* how it works? Washu: ... you learn by doing! Imagine that! >Belldandy shifted her body until Keiichi was moving through her passage >without further problems. Tom: Belldandy's in charge of the Panama Canal? Crow: I *think* that's how I'm reading that... >At the same time, Keiichi helped by changing the rhythm of his movements to >match hers. All: (singing) I got rhythm, I got music... >More and more of his shaft slipped into her until Keiichi was fully buried >inside her again. Crow: ... and he never saw the light of day again, the end. Washu: (laughs) Oh, no! What a horrible way to die! Mike: Maybe they should send a rescue squad in to save him... Tom: That is, if Belldandy doesn't object to it. >"My goddess, so divine....." Keiichi thought as he watched Belldandy spread >over him. Tom: And hence, the title of today's waste of bandwidth... Crow: It should have been called, 'Belldandy: a cheaper kind of spread'. >She thrashed her head around, making her hair flutter like a banner. Mike: (singing) I... love a parade! Washu: (smiles) Crow: (singing) Wave that flag, wave it high... and wide! Washu: (giggles) Tom: (singing) We welcome you, to Munchkin land, tra, la, la, la, la... Washu: (starts cracking up) St-t-top it! >Her breasts were tracing little circles in the air as she moved on top of >him. Crow: My, what artistic breasts she has... Tom: I hear they got an art scholarship to Pittsburgh. Crow: Is that right? Washu: (still laughing) >Keiichi felt sensual shock waves surge Mike: Surge! >through his body with increasing ferocity Tom: Surge! >as Belldandy rose and fell on his captive rod, Crow: Suuuurge! >while her vaginal muscles clenched rhythmically around it. Mike: and, Surge... Washu: (can't stop laughing) Tom: Mike, I think Washu's broken. Crow: Yeah, jeeze, we're weren't THAT funny! >Both of them moaned loudly as they continued to move, looking at each other >with passion and desire. Tom: Oh, look, the second half of the title. Hooray. >Keiichi fancied this as his own personal way of worshipping Belldandy. He >wondered how she would react to that..... Washu: (recovering) ... probably better than how you react in bed, buster... Mike: You okay, Washu? (picks up Servo) Washu: (getting up, still giggling) Still not used to you guys yet... [1, 2, 3, 4, 5 6, Bridge] "So, this is how you live." Washu shook her head in disbelief. "Trapped up in space for eternity watching lousy movies, and internet postings..." "Well, yeah, basically. Do you prefer deep-dish or thin crust?" Crow asked as he unwrapped the frozen pizzas, readying them for the microwave. "I prefer FREEDOM, my little golden friend! I just want to get back *down*." Washu pointed down at the floor and slightly to her right, which was indeed "down" on Earth. She cared about details like that. "Ah, well, join the club." Crow placed a healthy dab of Cheez Whiz (tm) on one of the pizzas, and popped in the microwave. "So, what do you think?" "Just about everything. Greatest mind in the galaxy..." She replied with a slight smile, tapping the side of her head. "No, I mean about life on the satellite." "Oh, that! Well, I guess it's okay." "Get used to it. Ah, done! I love this day and age..." Crow said, as he lifted a finished pizza out and began eating. "Not if *I* can help it!" Washu said triumphantly, "I'm not going to rely a favor from the Observer to send me home, so I already have an escape plan! Would you like to see it?" Crow stopped in mid-bite, and stared at Washu. Finally, he asked, "When...?" Again, Washu gave Crow a slight smile, and tapped the side of her head. "Greatest mind in the galaxy..." She walked over to the right side of the bridge, where Cambot and Crow followed her. Set up there was Mike's time machine, AKA the machine from 'Terror from the Year 5000!'. Washu continued, "I managed to rewire this thing into a transportation device using spare parts I found around the ship..." "You're a regular Joel, you are, Washu..." "Who?" "Never mind. Hey, what's that wired on the side?" "Hi, Crow!" A familiar head popped out of one of the machine's windows. "Oh, yes, Gypsy volunteered her internal programming sequences to help complete the device. Don't worry, it's only temporary, and won't hurt her a bit..." "I'm only gonna do this once! I'm starting to get a cramp in this position..." Gypsy drew her head back inside. "Um, Washu, I hate to tell you this, but the time machine's toxic to big and/or meaty humans..." "Oh, I know that, my dear Crow... That's why I plan to beam up materials from my lab and build a transportation device that's completely harmless to humans-- right here on the satellite!" Washu began tapping a very precise set of coordinates into the machine. "Keen!" Crow took another bite of pizza. "Now, let me see... hmmm... Okay!" Washu pushed the 'start' button, and the modified pile of impressive machinery hummed to life. A pile of boxes appeared inside the pod with a flash of golden light. Washu triumphantly strode up to the boxes. "See? I beamed up all of my spare parts I had in my storage closet! I'll have all the supplies I need-- hey, what's this?" Washu picked up a note that was resting on top of the bundles. She read: 'Dear Miss Washu, Surprise! I have cleaned all of your closets in the lab! I hope I didn't mess up your inventory any! Sincerely, Mihoshi...' Washu crumpled the note in one fist. "Oh, Mihoshi, why now, why NOW?!" "Whoo! Is it ever hot in there! Sorry, but I can't take this anymore." Gypsy tore out of the machine and rolled away, wires still tied into her head. "Oooh, Cheese Whiz pizza!" "Oh, well... maybe I have enough parts to work with anyway..." Washu rummaged through the packages for a moment, and suddenly froze. "Oh, NO!" "What now...?" Crow said with a mouth full of food. "These... these are my personal belongings! That idiot Mihoshi must have mixed up my storage closet and my *bedroom* closet!" Washu's head slowly sunk into her hands. "Don't feel so bad, kid. Our wacky escape schemes usually don't even get *this* far off the planing board..." Mike popped his head into the room. "Hi, guys! Did I miss anything? Oops! Hold that thought, WE HAVE LEMON SIGN!!!" [6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Theater] (They again enter and sit in the same spots; From left to right, Washu, Tom, Mike, and Crow) > ------- Crow: Hmmm. Nope, can't think of another lame 'dash' joke. >"Yeah! That's more like it, let him have it sis!" Tom: (as Skuld) I have no idea in hell what's going on, but still, go get 'em, sis! >Skuld was beginning to enjoy the show. Washu: (as Skuld) I could reeeeeeeally go for some Juju-bees, though. >After her earlier confusion, Mike: ... which really could be anything between her birth up to the present time... >she was pleased with the way Belldandy established her superiority- in >Skuld's eyes anyway- over Keiichi. Crow: She made him pay the check for dinner, plus tip! >"How does she know what do, Urd?" she asked. Washu: All those letters to Dr. Ruth finally paid off. > Probably from me....... Urd thought, but "You expect me to know?" was all >she said to Skuld. Tom: (as Skuld) Sure! You're the slut of the family, remember? Mike: Tom... >Although Urd couldn't beat off right now, the show provided enough >stimulation for her without needing her to do anything. Mike: ... and we thank you for that, Urd, we really do! >It wasn't much, Crow: Aw, it's plenty! Really! >but it would keep her highly aroused until she could get rid of Skuld. >_Then_ she could start having fun. Washu: (as Urd) I'll do it! I'LL DYE MY HAIR A DIFFERENT COLOR! BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!! > ------- > Through his lust-fogged mind, Mike: ... although normally, it's more of a bong-fog, not a lust-fog... >Keiichi was entranced by Belldandy's jingling breasts. Tom: Still doing circles with her nipples, I see... Crow: That's all they've been doing for the last hour! >He reached up to grab them, squeezing and twisting them in opposite >directions, her nipples pinched between his fingers. Washu: (wince) Nothing like a little S&M 'tween friends... Tom: Whatever doesn't kill you, has to turn you on! >As he did, Belldandy moaned desperately and began moving faster and faster, >her face flushed red and her breasts a rosy pink. He wanted more of those >lovely, soft, warm breasts.... Mike: Which raises the quintessential question: white or dark meat? >Keiichi's added handling of her breasts almost sent Belldandy out of >control. Crow: (as an air-traffic controller) PULL UP! PULL UP!! You're coming in too low!! >She could barely focus on her actions Washu: Ah! My Goddess needs glasses? >and was unable to resist when Keiichi pulled her down to him. Tom: Christmas at the Kennedy compound! > When she was close enough, he took a nipple in his mouth, running his >tongue over it rapidly. Then Keiichi tried to suck more of her breasts into >his mouth, the sensation of his tongue going over the expanse of her breast >finally sent Belldandy over the edge. Mike: ... and she plummeted to her grisly death, the end. >She felt tremors spreading out from her clit to encompass her whole body >and pushed herself backwards, driving Keiichi all the way back into her >cunt again. Washu: Insert squishy sound effects here... >Then Belldandy pressed herself onto Keiichi and spasmed violently. She >moaned aloud and held him tightly as she came once more. Crow: Any tighter and I do believe she'd gonna break that boy in two. Mike: Yeah, we *wish.* >Half-consciously, Keiichi resisted the urge to come when Belldandy did. He >wanted to experience her orgasm from within, but she blew his mind away the >first time. Tom: (as Adam Sandler) It freakin' blew my mind! >It was tough, Mike: (dramatically) Damn tough. >but he held on desperately, Washu: ... as he had for *all* of his sex life... >the pleasure was almost unbearable, her vaginal muscles contracted >violently against him as her hot juices gushed out around his penis. >Keiichi managed to hold back until her orgasm had peaked, he came- Tom: Uh-huh.. >and watched in disbelief as Belldandy came _again_ at the same time. Tom: Uh-huh, sure... >Both of them cried out in ecstasy as they were overwhelmed by the light >once more..... Crow: You know, I could take a root canal, right here, right now, without pain-killers, and still not have the same kind of feeling I get from this fanfic. Mike: (laughs) Oh, yeah? > ------- Washu: I got one! (singing) My dash will go o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-n... Tom: Quite nice! A bit of a stretch but not bad at all. >When she saw Belldandy climax, Urd couldn't hold back any longer. Not >caring about Skuld anymore, she stuck her hands into her dress and began >fingering herself with a vengeance. Crow: Oh, no! Sequel! Tom: Gah! >Then Keiichi came, and brought Belldandy off a second time, "Again?! I >don't >believe it." was Urd's last thought before the tidal wave hit her again. Mike: Ah-a-a-a-a-a-a-wipeout! >It hit her at almost the same moment she came. Combined with her own >orgasm, it >was much more intense than the first one. Washu: Mike, did I die and if so, am I in hell? Mike: You know, I've often asked myself the very same question... > She let the sensations wash over her.... it had been so long since she >last felt this good, and it was very enjoyable- even if only indirectly.... Crow: Hell. Tom: Definitely hell. Mike: Remember Carlos and 'The Pleasure Scouts'? Crow: (suddenly perky) This is the most beautiful love scene EVER! Tom: (also cheerful) I give this lemon eleven out of ten stars! Washu: I don't even want to *know*... > ------- Tom: Sergeant Pepper and his Lonely Dash Club Band. >Belldandy looked lovingly at Keiichi, it had been an exciting night. But >now she was very exhausted and sleepy. Crow: Sleep, then! Then the lemon will be over! Washu: Yeah! Mike: SLEEEEEEEEP!! >She lay down on Keiichi, gently resting on his shoulder. Keiichi was still >trying to get over the last orgasm, Washu: ... afterglow... of the DAMNED! >it was incredible, beyond any words he could use to describe it. Tom: (sarcastic) But he's going to try *anyway*, folks... >It made the first one look like a sparkler compared to a roman candle. Mike: Although a roman candle doesn't splutter and splurt nearly as much as *these* two do... Crow: Whoo-hoo! Score one for Nelson! >But there was one thing that worried him, "Is that going to happened every >time, Bell-chan?" Keiichi asked as he hugged her. Washu: (as Belldandy) No, stud. After the time I had with you, I decided to go gay! Tom: Oh, good, a *happy* ending. >Belldandy shook her head, "No, only if we do it just right." " That's >a relief!" Keiichi smiled, Crow: (makes a raspberry sound) Thhhppppt! Mike: (as Keiichi) Whoa! Been holding that one back for about an hour! >"It's wonderful, Tom: ... life! Crow: (as Jimmy Stewart) Merry Christmas, you wonderful old lemon! >but I think I won't be able to handle it too often....." Washu: On the contrary, he'll be handling 'it' for a long time to come. Crow: And score one for Washu... >"Will we have a chance to find out?" Belldandy asked. Mike: (as Keiichi) *Hell* no... >"We will...." Keiichi winked at her. Tom: Bluh-link! >"Thank you...." Belldandy whispered. Washu: (as Belldandy) ... for nothing. >Then she closed her eyes and fell asleep on his shoulder. The smile still >on her face. Tom: AND?! Crow: Wow. Another. Incomplete. Sentence. Mike: Another victim falls to the Joker's deadly campaign of chemical warfare. >Keiichi held her with one hand and gently caressed her hair with the other >and fell asleep soon after. Washu: Awww... > ------- Crow: And then the dashes came, laying waste to all that stood in their path! >When Urd was capable of conscious thought again, she found herself lying on >the floor, one hand clutching a breast and the other buried in her pussy. Tom: Urd has a cat, too? She's so mean to it! Washu: (chuckles) >"Ahh... That was soo good." Urd smiled giddily. Mike: Objection! I'd like to debate that issue! >She couldn't remember the last time she had experienced such a powerful >orgasm before, even when she was fucking. Washu: You know what? Now I *hate* immortals... and it's GIVING ME ISSUES!! >Urd also remembered the only two, out of so many, times she had managed to >pull off a super. Crow: She's a shoplifter? >All sorts of conditions had to be right.... Tom: ... temperature, humidity, wind resistance... Crow: ... consistency of the jelly... >Yet here was her sister, doing it twice on her very first time! Urd was >impressed, to say the least. Washu: (waving her arms) I'm not! I AM NOT IMPRESSED IN THE SLIGHTEST!!! Mike: Easy, now... >Thinking about Belldandy reminded Urd of her other sister. Crow: Oh, yeah, the dorky one, right. >With a start, she looked around, but Skuld was nowhere in sight. Urd >relaxed and pulled her hand out from her pussy, it was covered in her own >honey. Mike: The SPCA shall hear of this! >She licked it without hesitation, it had been a while since she had last >tasted anyone's juices. Quite good, she thought, compared to others she had >tasted before. Tom: (as a cat) Thank you ma'am, but could you please stop licking me? >Finally returning her attention to the TV, Urd saw that the two lovers were >already asleep, All: (comically snore) >"Well, that's all for tonight it seems." she sighed and turned off the TV. Mike: ... not much to do on Thursdays, now that Seinfeld is over with... >We'll finally get some excitement around here now, Urd thought. She would >keep a close eye on them from now on. Who knew what else might happen? Next >time she would have her VCR ready also.... Washu: Ugh. I see signs for a possible sequel. >Urd then simply dispelled her dress and plopped onto her futon, nude. Tom: Her futon was nude? Kinky! >She thought of what she had seen and remembered her own experiences as she >drifted off to sleep. Mike: ... along with the rest of the readers. >She hoped her sister could do better than herself. Tom: No lemon scenes with Skuld *so* far! I'd say she's done alright for herself! >* Epilogue- Washu: I think you might have spoken too soon, Servo-san... >In her room, Skuld looked at the unfinished gadget in her hand. Crow: (as Skuld) It won't vibrate, damn it! >She tried to continue from where she was interrupted, but couldn't. All she >could see was her sister and Keiichi holding each other, moving >together..... Tom: ... the ol' horizontal mambo, as it were. >"What's wrong with me?" she asked herself. Mike: Well, first off, you agreed to appear in this lemon... Washu: You're an omniscient being who doesn't know anything about sex... Tom: You probably smell bad in person... Crow: The list goes on! >Skuld sighed at the machine and put it away, it just wasn't so interesting >anymore. Crow: Between staring at the gadget, and reading this fanfic... Mike: You'd go with the machine. Crow: Yep-er. But then, I have a bit of a bias... >She looked at all the things in her room, none of them interested her right >now. Washu: Wow, what a lucky girl, with so many things to look at besides this lemon! >There was a craving in her body, and it had nothing to do with machines or >ice cream. Tom: ... her caffeine addiction is acting up again... sad, really. >Skuld remembered the sensations that flowed through her body when >Belldandy's climax hit her. She also remembered what Urd did with her >hands. I wonder, Skuld thought, and started feeling herself through her >clothes.... Mike: She didn't expect to encounter the chastity belt. Tom: (laughs) >No one heard her cry of pleasure. Crow: Of course not! There's no sound in an ASCII file, dickweed! >* End- Bots: (singing) I did it... my waaaaaay... Washu: Wow. It's... finally over. >All the characters in the above story were created by the manga artist >Kosuke Fujishima in his series "Ah! My Goddess". I myself decided to write >this lemon after reading the other lemons based on this manga. I figured I >could write a better one. Whether I succeeded or not, I leave it for you >to decide. Mike: Well, all in all, the story was okay as a romance... Tom: ... the characters were somewhat believable... sorta. Crow: ... and the sex scenes weren't written *too* badly... I mean, aside from the cat mangling.... Washu: I know what you Americans call this. You're 'covering your ass', right? Everyone else: (bigsweats) >To those of you who do not enjoy lemons, Tom: (as the author) Piss off! >and despise those who write them. Crow: (as the author) Bite me! >Well..... I _did_ warn you at the start. Washu: It's true, he did! >All forms of constructive criticism will be welcomed. Send them to >weimin@pl.jaring.my- if you have any. Mike: ... pudding? Washu: ... sense of decency? Tom: ... need for a used car? Crow: ... balls? >Not-so-helpful flames will be promptly extinguished. Tom: The pun. A completely gratuitous part of the fanfic. >Special thanks to AlberCrombie for helping me out with refining this fic. Washu: He ran it through a meat grinder-type 'refining', is my guess. >And to Paul Starr, Mike: ... the son of Ringo? Faboo! >for the one little suggestion which enabled me to write the original >opening for this fic. Crow: (as Paul Starr) "Let me write it for you." >I apologize for forcing you to read this plain and uninspired message from >me. Washu: Hey, we don't mind! It means it's almost over! >To make up for it, here's one last love scene. All: (facefault) Tom: (imitating a muted trumpet) Wahh, wahh, wahhhh... >The original epilogue, it seemed like such a pity to waste it, since I'm >not writing any more lemons. So enjoy..... Mike: It's the last lemon he'll write? The very last? Never mind, then! Crow: This is cause for much rejoicing! Washu and Tom: (blandly) Yea. >* Morning- Washu: (singing) There's got to be a morning after... >A glint of sunlight woke Belldandy, she smiled drowsily and slid down to >Keiichi's chest and pillowed her head there. Tom: ... on one of the many mounds of baby fat. > Breakfast could wait......... All: (singing) ... this is paradise... having no work to do... >Keiichi woke to the sensation of something pressing against his chest, he >looked and saw Belldandy smiling up at him. Keiichi wrapped his hands >around her, smiling in return. Crow: They're in *Transitions*! Mike: Don't go there, Crow... >"Good morning Keiichi-san, last night was wonderful.... thank you." >Belldandy said, her eyes full of love and affection. Washu: ... full of something, anyway. >Keiichi pulled her up to his face, Belldandy giggled like a happy child, >"Good morning to you too Bell-chan, yes last night was magical.... Mike: Hell, the whole damn thing was just so *Mickey Mouse!* Crow: Ouch, Mike... >But," he suddenly became alarmed, "we didn't use any protection, and I >might get you pregnant!" Tom: Ah, My Goddesses! Little ones! >Belldandy laughed a little, "Don't worry Keiichi-san. Mike: (as Belldandy) Don't worry your pretty little head any, my dear... >In the first place, there's nothing to protect from, is there?" Crow: They had him neutered, remember? Washu: Oh, I get it now! Belldandy is the goddess of the Heaven's Gate Cult! Duh! >she flashed him a sly look, "Not that it could have affected me anyway. As >for the second. I'm a goddess, Washu: (as Belldandy) Let me rub that in your face some more! >those changes don't happen to my body unless I want them to. And I wouldn't >do that unless you wanted me to.... Do you want me to?" she asked Keiichi. >"Ahh.... no" Keiichi said, "We're not married yet.... Mike: (slaps forehead) Knob! >" >"Hmmm...... Is that a proposal, Keiichi-san?" Belldandy asked him >mischievously, so close to him that her eyes filled his vision. Tom: Like a cat with a mouse, how sick. Crow: Hey, all's fair in love and husband trapping! >Keiichi blushed, "Uh.... ha... ha... haha.... maybe we should leave that >until another time." Crow: (as Keiichi) ... like, never! >Belldandy laughed again, "As you wish." and then she kissed him. Briefly at >first, and then with passion. She twisted her body, rubbing his penis >against her belly, she could feel it growing between them. Mike: (deep voice) The enormous void of solitude that is this lemon! >The wonderful sensation of sexual arousal slowly filled her body again >"Can we do it again.... now?" she asked him. All: NO! >Keiichi chuckled, "If my goddess so desires....." Washu: Noooo! Make it stop! >With that he turned Belldandy around, making her face away from him. She >pushed up against his chest. Keiichi reached over to grab her breasts and >pulled her down. Tom: Man, I knew those things would have a *down* side! Washu: Servo... (sigh) It's going to be like this all the time, isn't it? Mike: Well, it's fairly 'fanon' for them to be that way, I'm told, but yeah. >His erect shaft slid past her vagina and pressed against her clit, he could >feel her slight dampness. >Belldandy moaned, "Ohh..... Make me come again.... please, >Keiichi-san...... >please....." she pleaded with him. Washu: ... please don't. We'd like to have dinner later. >Keiichi took his time and slowly pressed himself into her warm cunt again. >Belldandy sighed happily at the now familiar, but still wonderful, >sensation as Keiichi filled her passage with his rod. Crow: Caulk her up tight, winter's coming, you know! >Keiichi pressed one hand to her clit, the sensation made her move up >against his torso. Then he pressed her down with the hand that was still on >her nipple. With this he established their rhythm. Tom: He's invented the push-button climax! >They rocked their hips together, slowly approaching the brink. Mike: ... aye, the brink of disaster. >Belldandy whimpered as the waves of pleasure surged through her with >increasing ferocity. She grabbed fistfuls of the futon to steady herself. >Her breaths became short and ragged, her climax was near..... Crow: She came, she saw, she went back home... Washu: (giggles) All in a day's work for your standard issue goddess! >"KEIICHI-SAN!!!!!" Belldandy cried out as she came. It was some time before >her body stopped shuddering. As Belldandy lay gasping for breath, Keiichi >continued their rhythm unabated.... Tom: Crap, he's turning into MACKIE STINGRAY!! Crow: WE'LL BE HERE ALL NIGHT! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Washu: Huh?! Wha... who? Huh?! Mike: Guys, please refrain from freaking out the newbie, okay? > I must be really worn out, Keiichi thought. Though the sensations were >exquisite, he had managed to control himself with a minimum of effort when >Belldandy came. An idea began to form in his mind..... Washu: Wow! He formed a complete thought! Tom: Big day for Keiichi! >Keiichi whispered in her ear, "Let me take you on a wild ride......" as he >began rebuilding the sensations within her. Mike: (British accent) Aye, he simply redoubled his efforts, kept a stiff upper lip, and everything came out sing-song in short order! Crow: We never get tired of that line, do we? >Under his manipulations, Belldandy came again..... and again..... and >again..... Bots: (as Peewee Herman) And she keeps coming, and *coming,* and *COMING!!* >The orgasms increased in frequency and intensity, until they became one >long, continuos climax. Crow: Brought to you by 'Herbal Essence'! >"KEIICHI-SAAAANNNN!!!!" she wailed aloud, surrendering to the pleasures >that assailed her mercilessly. Belldandy's juices were gushing out around >his hardness uncontrollably, running down between their thighs and onto the >futon. Washu: So far, of all things I feel most passionately for, I feel sorry for the futon. Tom: Yeah, it's really taking a helluva beatin'! >Keiichi finally lost control of himself and released his seed within >Belldandy >once more. "BELL-CHAAANN!!!!!" All: Taco Bell! DONG! >Keiichi cried out as he came. It wasn't super this time, but it was still >wonderful by any standards. Mike: (as Keiichi, bored) It was good for me... I guess... >They shuddered to a halt, their bodies spent. Washu: Causal sex can be *hell*... >Keiichi pressed himself against Belldandy's smooth back and hugged her >tenderly. He smiled with satisfaction as he inhaled the wonderful fragrance >of her hair. Belldandy pushed back against him, her face bore a similar >smile. Tom: She's going to tear his heart out now for a sacrifice? Cool! >She clasped her hands over Keiichi's and squeezed them lovingly. For one >long moment, they just rested against each other in silence. >"We still have a date today, Keiichi-san." Belldandy decided to remind him. Crow: 'Here we go again!' Crow exclaimed to no one in particular... Tom: 'You mean, here they *come* again!' chimed in Tom Servo... Mike: 'Guys...' Mike scolded softly... Washu: 'Hehehehe!' Washu guffawed. >"Where would you like to go, Bell-chan?" Keiichi asked, "The park, the >marina, or a picnic in the woods?" Mike: Hell would be nice, why not the both of you go straight to hell? Crow: Zing! >"Anywhere would be wonderful.... as long as I'm with you Keiichi-san." she >told him, "And then.... I know this nice motel by the seaside where we can >spend the night.... on our own...." >* End-(Really!) Mike: That's another one in the can, Frank. (picks up Tom) Tom: Right you are, Steve! Washu: (stands up, grinning and stretching) Wow, that was something else! I hope *that* doesn't happen often around here! Crow: Nope... Washu: Whew! Crow: ... only once a day, usually. (exits theater) Washu: (facefault) B-u-bu-but! (runs out of the theater) AND WHO'S THIS 'FRANK' AND 'STEVE'?! [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Bridge] "This is quite a mess... but now that the movie is over, I'm sure the Brain Guy will send you home." Mike said to Washu. "Yeah, it's been sorta of interesting, Mike." Washu replied. "Tell you what, as soon as I get home, I'll call in some favors and arrange to have you rescued. Okay?" "Hallelujah!" chorused both Bots in unison. "Sounds like a plan!" Mike slapped the yellow light and opened a channel to the Castle. "Hey, Brain-man! You-know-who is ready to go!" [Castle Forrester] "All right already, Mike, don't shout about it! Now, just a wave of my hand- oop!" The Observer froze in mid-sentence as Pearl walked into the chamber. She was engrossed in an open tome she carried and was not paying attention to them. Nevertheless, the Observer grabbed his brainpan and snuck away before Pearl looked up at the viewscreen. "Hey, Nelson, guess what?" Pearl Forrester was waving the old, musty book in her hand. "I was rummaging around in the castle's attic- and no, don't ask me how this place can have an attic- when what should I find but this journal! The very journal my beloved Clayton kept during his time with the Gizmonic Institute!" Mike winced. *"Oh, great, Mrs. Forrester! I, um, have a little something to discuss with you..."* "Yeah, yeah, in a *minute*, Mike..." Pearl opened the book to the middle and started reading. "There are moments that should never be interfered in, and the destruction of a child's privacy by his loving mother is definitely one of them! Let's see... ah ha... '... woke up, wrote mother for money...'" Pearl snorted. "That could have been anytime in his life after he learned to talk, sheesh... Ah, *here* we go! '... saw the woman of my dreams today, in the cafeteria.' Ah! Here we go! 'She had the most beautiful eyes, and gorgeous hair that reminds me of Frank, only she does not disgust me so. She has a voice that she must of stolen from the angels...' Oh, what *is* it Nel-- the hell?" Pearl looked up and caught sight of the newcomer aboard the SoL for the first time. "Who the hell is that, Nelson? She doesn't belong there!" [SOL Bridge] Mike and Washu sighed at the same time. "No, she doesn't, ma'am. Crow accidentally brought her up when she scanned us from her lab in Japan... um, are you paying attention at all?" Pearl had gone back to reading the book with renewed interest. *"Go on, I'm listening..."* "Oh, well, she watched the movie with us and needless to say, she'd love to go home, so if you could just have the Brain Guy send back Ms.--" *"-- Washu Hakubi?"* The two prisoners were stunned. After a long silence, Washu managed, "Hai, that is my name! B-but how could you know...?" [Castle Forrester] Pearl Forrester stared at the hex-screen with a glare of hatred renewed. Fury seemed to grasp her throat, and she couldn't speak. She summoned Professor Bobo, who was cleaning out the pantry nearby, and the simian ambled over into the camera's view attempting to understand what Pearl wanted. He deductioned that Pearl wanted him to read the next entry of the diary. "H'okay, Lawgiver, let me see... 'Today and forever on I hate all women, for the one meant for me has scorned my love. The devil with the red hair dealt me the most unkindest cut of all when she spurned my confession of my true heart-song... I have decided to forget my dream mate, and instead pursue the only thing that can ease my pain... making others suffer... On this note, I decided that I should proceed with my most diabolic plan... bad movies... rule world... saw plans for satellite... Enhardt... yada-yada, yada, yada... but always I will blame the one I once cared so much for. I curse the name...' Bobo finished, '... Ms. Washu Hakubi.' Hey, look, a picture of her! It sort of looks like..." "YOU! HAKUBI!" [SOL Bridge] "It can't be possible! When I interned at Gizmonic, I didn't have *time* to meet any boys... unless... oh, *no!* It *can't* be the same person!" "Um, you mind cueing me and the readers at home in there, ma'am?" Mike looked a trifle worried for Washu, as the scientist was now sweating profusely. "When I arrived at Gizmonic, I *did* meet a boy the first night... Skinny guy, glasses and this silly-looking mustache..." [Washu's Flashback] Some time ago, I became bored with laberatory in Japan. Normally, something like that would never happen if you hang around with the people I do for any period of time, but things had been unusually quiet for several months. So, I decided to vacation the way I usually do, which is to intern at a company for a month or so. A change of scenery usually stimulates me on to other paths of creative thought, not that I've ever been short on creativity. I also found it a fascinating way to witness drone behavior first hand. I chose the Gizmonic Institute in America because they had a thing for mad sciences, and after I found a way to make Regan lose popularity (it was 1988) they realized that I had potential. So, I accepted their offer and moved into the on-site housing they provide. My first night there I took a nice long shower. I was finally starting to relax when I heard the scrapping outside the bathroom window... At first I thought it was just an animal, but I then I had a flash of insight. There had been this geek who had been looking at me strangely all that day at work; but before I could persue the thought any longer, I heard a distinct shutter click. I screamed, flung open the door, and grabbed my towel that was hanging nearby-- which frightened the hell out of the creep who was looking in on me from the outside! His head jerked up, and he almost the dropped the camera he was trying to focus on me. Sure enough, it was the same weird guy with the weird hair. "PERVERT!" I screamed. It was all I could manage to say to him, I was so furious! The man just stood there, drooling at me, like a drugged animal. I had my transmental computer interface offline at the time, otherwise I would have beamed the jerk into a brick wall. The door out was on the other side of the room, and I would have had to pass by the window to get away... I didn't know what to do... He leered and began chanting, "Naughty, naughty, naughty! Naughty, Nau--" Then the man suddenly went down *hard* against the windowsill, out like a light. The industrial broom that had knocked him out drew back and another strange man leaned into the room. He had ruffled hairstyle and a sleepy look in his eyes, that is what I remember best about him... and he was dressed in a jumpsuit. I stood there and just stared at the guy, who said, "Sorry about this, ma'am, but he hasn't done it in awhile..." He shrugged. "Well, I'll make sure he never bothers you again, okay?" With a wave and a grin, the janitor grabbed the unconscious man by the shirt collar and dragged him away. I watched him turn back around to say, "Oh, in case he does come back... you have any trouble, just ask around for Joel Robinson. Have a good night, ma'am!" [End of Washu's Flashback] "... and he did just that. Now I realize why I never had any trouble with Dr. Clayton Forrester since that day thirteen years of my time ago." Washu looked up at Mike. "Until now. So that nice guy, the janitor... he's the 'Joel', the one who was trapped here before you were?" Mike nodded. Washu turned and looked at the hexscreen. "And... the man who peeped me that day... so that was the famous Clayton Forrester... and your...son?" she ended almost whispering. *"Yes, my son. The one whose heart you broke, and whose experiment you stumbled into. My, my, my..."* Pearl sneered, and started laughing. *"What a very INTERESTING development. Well, hate to add to your bad day, but..."* [Fade to Black] *"YOU'RE STUCK HERE!!"* Jack Acid writes: So joins another unwitting victim into the Satellite of Love, and the Great Experiment. It's also marks my official diversion from MST3k canon. I decided to do it for two reasons, one because I wanted to add another member to the cast, and two because I haven't had Scifi on cable for three years, and I only saw less than half the final season of MST3k (and have yet to see it). I recently found out how the series ended (the SoL finally crashes to Earth and Mike and the Bots walk away free... sort of) but the nice thing about fanfiction (which essentially is what my host skits are) is that the end of a TV show doesn't mean an end to the fandom. Crossing over MST3k and Tenchi Muyo is nothing new. I'm certain Washu's been used in MSTings other than mine- I recall her being used in a 'Madd' role and has possibly been in the theater as well- but I believe a direct MST3k/TM! crossover like mine is different from what's been out there. The bulk of this MSTing and its skits are over two years old. It's a relief to finally release this episode, because I've been MSTing with Washu in mind since then. And I must say, she's a real pleasure to work with. Oh, one more thing. Since there are various incarnations of Washu, I use the OAV version, where it is my opinion she is at her greatest. She is also aware that she is a fictional character, living in a fictional universe. (How could you keep that a secret from the Greatest Mind in the Galaxy, anyway?). So no nitpicking at this light-hearted brand of continuity- Just sit back and just relax! ^^ Special Thanks to: Megane 6.7, for getting me on this MSTing kick, and teaching me all I needed to know about MSTing. His webpage and mine: http://www.nabiki.com/mst Zoogz, my webmaster and all-around swell guy, who also has his MSTings at the above address. But if you found THIS MSTing already, you've already found his and Megane's, right? ^_- Himitsu, for her always valued C&C. Sluggy Freelance. www.sluggy.com Worship the Comic. The good folk at #EcchiFanGirls, found at http://www.geocities.com/ecchifangirls/, who are the source of some of my inspiration. Even if they *are* total perverts! Haloflux, who is the best kitty-girl-shade-thief-mage-vampire I know! Website #9's guidelines to Usenet MSTings. It came in handy... Hitoshi Okuda, the creator of Washu and Tenchi Muyo!, my favorite manga of all time. All rights reserved. Best Brains, for screwing up my childhood (but in a good way) from age eleven up to today, at twenty one. All rights reserved. May the way of the Hero lead to the Triforce. >Looking at the image, she became upset, "I don't believe it! Keiichi and >Belldandy making love for the first time.... and I missed it completely!