*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)
(The future isn't what it used to be....)
"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON FOUR)
EPISODE 33: SABLE TAKES THE GOLD
(A World Wrestling Federation Lemon MSTing)
MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7 (megane67@rogers.com
)
This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
Any random mention of certain anime characters, wrestler's names,
song lyrics, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc.
Just covering my own ass here folks....
"World Wrestling Federation" is the property of Titan Sports, Linda
McMahon, Vince McMahon, Viacom, and anyone else who legally owns
the rights and trademarks.
"Sable Takes The Gold" is the property of Martin4Life and he's welcome to it.
I do not intend to offend him for making fun of him work like this but I figure
it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form
of C&C. It's all meant in good fun. ;)
All previous works in this series can be found at 'A MSTing for All Seasons'
http://www.nabiki.com/mst
Warning: This fic contains mature content and scenes of lemon. If you
are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If not, enjoy!
(Cue "Mystery Science Theater 6.7 Love Theme" in 5... 4... 3....)
It's the not-too-distant future,
Last Sunday BC
There was this guy named Joel
Not so different from you or me
He worked at Gizmonic Institute
Just another guy in a red jumpsuit
He did a great job cleaning up the place,
But his bosses really hate him
So they shot him into space!!!!
Joel:
(OH... MY... GODDESS!!!)
Crow and Tom:
(IT'S MEGAMI-SAMA!)
(Instead of holding messed up video, Frank's holding a computer printout)
We'll send him crappy fanfics
The worst we can find (lalala)
He'll have to sit and read them all and we'll monitor his mind (lalala)
(Instead of where it shows the guys watching the movie, it shows them
ducking behind their seats for 'Artemis's Lover'.)
Now keep in mind Joel can't control
When the fanfics begin or end (lalala)
Because he used those special parts
To make his robot friends;
ROBOT ROLL CALL:
CAMBOT:
'Text only'?
Gypsy:
'Oh, my!'
Tom Servo:
'Sweet-o!'
CROOOOOOOW!!!
'I'm not a hentai!'
If your wondering how Joel eats and breathes
And other science facts (lalala)
Then repeat to yourself
*It's just a MiST*
You should really just relax
for MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7!!!!
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
"...and that's why 'Beakman's World' is superior to 'Bill Nye,
Science Guy' in every way," Tom Servo concluded as he stood behind a
debate podium on the bridge of the Satellite of Love.
"Nuh-uh!" Dr. Clayton Forrester shot back from the viewscreen.
"Bill Nye has financial backing from Disney, which makes his show evil
by association and thus clearly superior to Beakman's geeky, public access
atmospheric tripe by default!"
"Oh yeah? Well for someone that thinks Beakman's a geek, you
dress a helluva lot like him!" Tom retorted.
"Sticks and stones, candy-bot. Besides...." Dr. Forrester placed
his thumbs in his ears and wiggled his fingers while sticking out his
tongue. "I can make a face and you can't! Nyahh Nyahh!" he taunted.
"Geez, there must be something in the air, everybody's acting
screwy today...." Crow remarked as he, Joel and Gypsy walked onto the
bridge.
"About time you showed up, Garfield! Enjoy your little cat nap?"
Dr. Forrester snapped as Joel walked up to the viewscreen.
"Actually, I was just...." Joel began.
"Cram it, Skippy. It's time for the invention exchange. Frank,
front and center!"
TV's Frank strolled over to him wearing black boxers and a
T-shirt with the slogan 'Slapped Early, Slapped Often'.
"Wacky T-shirt Day?" Joel guessed.
"Nah, Laundry Day." Frank replied, a sheepish look on his
face as Dr. Forrester shot him a look before reaching into his labcoat
pocket..
"As you know, Joel, the school year will soon began anew and
most kids are already dreading the days till the bell rings. Therefore, I've
decided to make my yearly contribution to the educational system with a
new teaching tool that will help young children realize far too early in
life that the world is a cruel and bitter place. I call them 'Flash of Reality
Cards'. Each of these cards states a bitter truth about the real world.
Here, pick a card, Frank... any card." Dr. Forrester chuckled.
"Hokay." Frank picked the first card off the top of the deck
and read it aloud. "'College Education - Available Employment = Arby's'...
yeah, tell me about it... Let's try another..." Frank drew another card.
"'Business - Ethics + Sex = Guaranteed Success'... ouch, so much for
sugarcoating..." Frank kept drawing more cards, growing more upset
with each new bitter truth.
"'Business + Women - Equality = Less pay'... 'Sex + Alcohol -
Birth Control = Unexpected Surprises'... '$10000 + Car Salesman = Down
Payment'!? 'Shameless Asskissing - Well Written Script + Mass
Merchandising = Studio Funding'?!? 'Critic - Open Mind + Pretentiousness
= English Teacher'?!? NOOOOOO! MAKE IT STOP!!!" Frank clutched
his head and sank to his knees, overwhelmed, the flash cards slowly slipping
from his trembling fingers.
"As you can see, any child... or one with a child-like mind like
Frank here will read this card and be far less motivated to stay in school
and far more likely to devote their life to evil, just like I did when I decided
to became a mad scientist... oh yes...."
Dr. Forrester slipped into megalomania overdrive, assuming a
classic ranting pose, complete with shaky fist held up in mad triumph.
"And once there are enough malcontents out there, I will start up a chain
of scientific institutes, devoted to Mad Science and funded by Evilos,
providing a bold new evil direction for our nation's disillusioned youths
and finally putting those DeVry sissies out of business PERMANENTLY!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Beat that, gizmo jockey!" Dr. Forrester
challenged with a smug grin.
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
"Um, I'll do my best, sir," Joel replied as he placed a large pillow
on top of the counter. "Okay, I came up with this idea when I was trying
to invent a remote control that would be harder to lose in the cushions of
your favorite sofa or bedroom. I call it the Pillow Remote!" Cambot
zoomed in on the side of the pillow to reveal a soft keypad with Television,
VCR and DVD remote controls.
"It's the ultimate in laziness yet it's built to last. We've dropped
everything from ten pound bowling balls to six-hundred pound sumo
wrestlers on top of it and if you'll pardon my pun... it takes a licking yet
keeps on clickin'!" Tom exclaimed.
"Ad-libber," Crow muttered under his breath.
"That's right, sirs, with the pillow remote, you barely have to
move a muscle when it comes to changing channels and any arguments
over which channel to watch can be playfully settled with a good-natured
pillow fight. What'da think?" Joel said.
* * *
DEEP 13
"Oh, very cute, Joel. I suppose it also mutes your snoring so your
loved one doesn't have to bruise her elbow jabbing your ribs repeatedly?"
Dr. Forrester snorted with disdain.
"Uh, well, since you mentioned it...."
"I had to ask. But enough pillow talk, booby... it's time for your
weekly check-up with Dr. Hertz Aplenty! I've taken into account your
reaction from last week's experiment and based on the promising results,
I've decided to go the full monty this time and present to you another
piece of... heh heh... WWF fanfiction."
"Uh, which reaction is he talking about?" Joel whispered to
Crow.
"Don't ask! Trust me on this one!" Crow whispered back.
"...a delightfully filthy lemon from 1998 starring Rena 'Sable'
Mero and co-starring three other WWF superstars. I'd name names but
hey, why spoil the fun?" Dr. Forrester flashed them an evil grin before
continuing. "But enough verbal teasing, time for a purple herman from
HELL named 'Sable Takes The Gold'... snap into it, won't you? Send 'em
the lemon, Frank...."
"Squeezing, sir," Frank replied sadly as he slowly hoisted
himself off the floor and sauntered over to the file cabinet.
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
As the viewscreen winked off, Joel turned to face Tom and Crow.
"Well, guys, it's our first lemon of the new season. Feel up to it?"
"As long as none of the other three wrestlers is Vince McMahon...
Please god, anybody but Vince McMahon...." Tom prayed.
"Amen to that! Seeing him shirtless and frenching Trish Stratus
was bad enough...." Crow remarked with a violent shudder.
"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!" Tom snapped, shaking his head
from side to side as if it were an etch-a-sketch.
Joel placed a hand on each of the bot's shoulders. "Don't worry,
guys. Whatever they throw at us, we can take it. All for one and one for
all, right?"
"Fight for myself!" Crow replied in his best Curley Howard
imitation as alarms suddenly wailed and multicolored lights flashed.
"OHHHH, WE'VE GOT LEMON SIGN!!!" Joel cried out.
(Door 6: It's made of lemons and limes. You hold up a bottle of Sprite
and they scamper away, terrified.
(Door 5: It's an old fashioned elevator. Both sets of doors open for you
as you pass through.)
(Door 4: It's made of dominoes. You tip the lead one over and watch as
the pile slowly lowers until it's half its original size and you step over it.)
(Door 3: It's filled with cute stuffed toys. You cuddle them for awhile
before proceeding.)
(Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and
touches the door. The door vanishes.)
(Door 1: It's a castle gate that rises into the ceiling, revealing a drawbridge
that slowly lowers to the ground. You cross it cautiously, looking for moat
monsters.)
(Door .7: It's a swirling blue vortex. Suddenly a large hand reaches out of
its center and pulls you inside.)
Joel emerged from the vortex into the theater with Tom in his
arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping
over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his own,
Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow
sitting on his right.
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Crow: Well, here's a welcome addition to the proud lineage of scene
changes.
Joel: Isn't that the hill from "Life of Brian"?
>Sable takes the Gold
Tom: But left the cake.
Crow: And Kurt Angle weeped openly.
>An erotic adventure by Martin4Life (Martin4life@yahoo.com)
Joel: The Queen of Summer wrote a lemon?
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Joel: Oh no! Someone stole all the poppies from Flander's Fields!
Crow: <monotone> Herein lies all of the previous wrestling gimmicks
of the man once known as Ed Leslie....
>The following is a sexually explicit FICTIONAL story centering on
>characters from the World Wrestling Federation WWF.
Joel: As long as there's no Brother Loving or Ravishing of Ricks, I'll be
happy.
>All characters are trademarks of the WWF and are in no way a reflection
>of what really goes on behind the scene.
Tom: Yeah, for that, you'd need mirrors and a helluva lot of smoke!
>No copyright infringement is intended.
All: <The Rock> IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT WAS INTENDED!!!
Crow: Whew, fun!
>If you are under 18 do not read any further.
Joel: Yeah, go watch 'The Rescuers' and see if your copy has the hidden
frame of the topless woman in the window.
Tom: Ah, Sex Ed, the Disney way.
>Keep in mind that my native language is not English when you read this
>story.
Tom: No worries. There's plenty of people whose native language is
English that we can barely understand....
Crow: Like Warrior?
Tom: Natch.
>I would appreciate any constructive feed back or suggestions.
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>It was the night of WrestleMania 14.
Crow: <ominous> A dark and stormy night....
Tom: Suddenly a bell rang out. A wrestler got slammed. The valet
screamed.
Joel: When Snoopy books the WWF.
>Shawn Michaels was in his dressing room getting ready to defend his
>WWF title against Steve Austin,
Joel: <Stagehand> Mr. Michaels! It's time for your match!
Crow: <Shawn> GAH?!? KNOCK before you enter! KNOCK!!!
Joel: <Stagehand> I-I'm sorry, Mr. Michaels!
Crow: <Shawn> D-Did you see anything?!?
Joel: <Stagehand> No, Mr. Michaels, I didn't see you playing with your
dolls again!
Crow: <Shawn> Good!
>Michaels is known as the "Heartbreak Kid" and for a good reason,
Tom: He refused to sign autographs, thus breaking the hearts of young
kids everywhere, the cad!
Crow: Michaels was a mutant with the morbid ability to invoke myocardial
infarctions to his opponents in order to make them submit. Later, his name
was changed to HBK to project a more family friendly image....
>he is a trimmed and toned man with a hansom face.
Joel: But an uglee body.
Crow: Shawn's been trimmed? When was he neutered?
>As Shawn did his warm-up Sable entered his dressing room,
Joel: <Sable> Hi Shawn, I was just... oh wow! Are those genuine
She-Ra figures?!?
Crow: <Shawn> DOESN'T ANYONE EVER KNOCK AROUND
HERE?!?
>Sable is a Manager / Valet for Marc Mero
Crow: <slyly> Among other things a gentlemen doesn't mention.
Joel: You mean she parks his car?
Crow: Ahh... yeah.
>and she has also participated in active wrestling. She was a top trained
>woman
Crow: She fetches, she heels, she's even housebroken!
>with a gorgeous body and a pair of huge 38DD tits
>(Silicone but still a treat to the eye).
Joel: And a pain to the back.
Crow: <Sable> You wear 'em then, Martin-boy, and see how YOU feel!
>"Hi Shawn are you ready for your big match" Sable said as she watched
>him doing sit-ups.
Crow: <Shawn> Well, I am but Michael Buffer's still gargling in the john.
>"Oh yes" Shawn said "Hey you wrestled a great match tonight
>congratulations"
>Sable had wrestled in a mixed tag match against Luna Vachon and
>Goldust.
Tom: A brutal contest that finally ended when Sable managed to smash the
racket over Goldust's head and wrapped the catgut around Luna's throat
until she tapped out.
Crow: Feh. She's still got nothing on John McEnroe.
>"Yeah, but I think Luna bruised my ribs when she kicked me" Sable said
>and exposed her ribcage by lifting her tight T-shirt. "Can you see a bruise?"
>she asked Shawn
>"Well no, but let me get a closer look" Shawn said and moved closer to
>Sable, "No I still cant see anything"
Tom: Gee, I wonder where this scene is going?
>"Hmm well maybe its up higher she said and took her T-shirt off to reveal a
>skin tight spandex pot that barely covered her huge breasts, "Now do you see
>anything Shawn?"
Joel: <Shawn> Yeah, I see plenty of unnecessary foreshadowing.
Crow: <Sable> I'm glad I switched to spandex pots, those aluminum ones
were COLD!
>"No there is still no bruise," Shawn said as he looked at Sable's huge tits
>and not really at her ribs.
Joel: <Shawn> I'm more in the mood for a breast than ribs actually....
Crow: Swiss Chalet Sable: Always so much for so little.
>"She kicked me really hard right here" Sable said and pointed to the
>underside of her right tit.
>"Well its covered by your top so I can't see it" Shawn said with a smile
>and a wink.
Crow: <Sable> What? No nudge? What ARE you trying to insinuate?!?
Tom: After thirty nine more smiles and winks, Shawn was on the floor
blowing snot bubbles, leaving a sexually frustrated Sable to seek out
Bastion Booger.
>"We can't have that," Sable said and then she lifted her top up over her
>huge tits
Crow: SPROINGGGGG... WOBBLE WOBBLE WOBBLE WOBBLE
WOBBLE Wobble Wobble Wobble Wobble Wobble Wobble wobble
wobble wobble wobble wobble....
Joel: <Shawn> Funny... I have a sudden craving for hamburgler... I mean
hamburgers!
>letting them sway freely in the air.
Tom: Ah, nothing says Springtime like a pair of breasts floating lazily
in the wind....
>"Wow" was all Shawn could say while his thought "I heard she was into
>showing off but I had no idea"
Joel: Gee, you'd think after hearing about it, he'd have SOME idea!
>"Yeah they're nice," Sable said without blushing over Shawn's stare
>"Even tough there are not real. Can you see a bruise?"
>"Wow" Shawn just repeated and then came back and said "No your
>skin looks perfectly alright to me"
>"It's right here, can't you feel it" Sable said and put his left hand on
>her tit.
Crow: <Sable> Oh, for the love of... Fine! *I'LL* make the first move!
Geez, buy a frigging clue sometime, willya!?
Tom: <Shawn> You're right! Your skin's all discolored there! And
you even have a raised bruise that seems to be getting larger!
Crow: <Sable> Oh, screw this! Where's Marty Jennetty's dressing room?
>"She's doing more than showing now ain't she" Shawn thought and said
>"Tell me when you feel pain" as he started to run his hand over her breast.
Tom: <Sable> Ow! Ow! OWWWW! Owie... OW! OWWWW!!! Huh?
Oh no, I'm fine. Please continue. Ow! OWWWW!! Owww!
>"MMMMMM It feels great, don't stop we have to find the spot," Sable
>said obviously enjoying Shawn's strong hands.
Crow: Sable's breasts have a G-spot?
Joel: Maybe 7up's mascot got trapped between them?
>"Well I certainly won't stop" Shawn said and then he ran his hand over
>her large nipple and felt it getting hard.
Tom: Not to mention sticky from excess silicone.
Crow: <Shawn> Hey, these breasts melt in my hand, not in my mouth!
>Then he kissed her nipple softly and as she did noting to remove his
>hands or mouth
Crow: <Sable> I'll make a note of it to stop Shawn from pawing me after
he's done tonguing my breasts....
Tom: The heck with this lemon stuff, when is Shawn going to finish his
sit ups?!?
>he kissed the nipple harder and started to fondle both her breasts.
>He cupped her tits and took the right nipple in his mouth.
Crow: <Sable> OWWW! That's the SORE tit, you moron!
>"Suck It" Sable said
Tom: <Billy Gunn> WE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA!!!
Joel: Copyright Infringement!
>and Shawn was quick to do as she said,
All: <make whipping noises>
>he kissed her down the belly and then started to kiss her crotch on the
>outside of her tights.
Tom: <Shawn> Uuuuuuuughhh! What this stuff on my tongue?!?
Crow: <Sable> Oops! Did I forget to mention I Armor-All my outfits?
>He put his hands inside her waistband and pulled them down, exposing
>her cleanly shaven pussy.
Joel: Mr. Bigglesworth?!? How did you get in there?!?
>Shawn could see that she was soaking wet and wasted no time in tasting
>her juices.
Joel: <Shawn> Mmmm... I like the orange... the apple is delightfully
fruity... but is this juice really freshly squeezed?
Crow: <Sable> Oh yes, I personally squeezed it myself!
Joel: <groans> Walked right into that one.
>He kissed her cunt and sucked on her clit.
Crow: And blew up her cervix.
>"OH Shawn, Shawn, Shaaaawn" Sable moaned.
Joel: <singing> Shawn....
Crow and Tom: <singing> Go away, I'm no good for you.
Joel: <singing> Oh Shawn....
Crow and Tom: <singing> Stay with him, he'll be good to you.
>"Hey you sound like my old entrance music" Shawn said as he took his
>moth of her cunt for just a moment.
Tom: She sounds like the theme to 'The Rockers'?
Joel: I think she means his 'Boy Toy' theme....
Crow: So her moans are like Sensational Sherri's screeches?
All: <shudders>
>Sable started to buck her hips as Shawn's tongue probed her pussy.
Crow: <Artemis> Ooooh, more, more!
Tom: You are one sick puppy, Crow.
Joel: Later, Shawn's tongue would be coerced into assisting aliens
with their anal research....
>Sable grabbed Shawn's head and pushed it deeper into her cunt
Crow: <Shawn, muffled> Uh, Sable? I think you pushed me a
little TOO far... hey, what's Mr. Socko doing in here?!?
>and Shawn ate her with great joy.
Crow and Tom: <singing> And Shawn ate her with great joy! AND
SHAAAAWN AAAATE HER WITH GREAAAAAT JOY!
Joel: <pouting> Aw, come on... don't bring Christmas into this....
>"Now you "Suck it,"" Shawn said as he slid his tights down revealing a
>raging hard on.
Crow: <Sable> *yawns* Nah, I'm too tired right now... you finish up
while I take a nap... oh and thanks for the oral, Shane....
Tom: <Shawn> Shawn!
Crow: <Sable> Whatever... ZZZZzzzzzzz.....
>Sable grabbed it with both hands and rubbed it up and down while she
>kissed it, tasting the pre-cum on the tip. Then she slowly closed
>her lips around Shawn's cock and started to suck on it.
Joel: <Sable a la Mankind> MMMMM!!! BEEFY!!!
Crow: And now, another cameo by Mr. Socko... to cover that up!
Please!
>Sable's head bobbed up and down faster and faster as she started to get
>into the blow-job,
Crow: <Jerry Seinfeld> WHY do they call it a BLOW-JOB when its
obviously a job for SUCKING! Where exactly does the *BLOWING*
come in? And what good would a BLOW-JOB do me? What, will it
keep my member cool during hot summer sex? Will it inflate my penis to
many times its original size?
Tom: It refers to feeling a girl's breath on your cock as she's sucking you,
dumb-ass!
Crow: ...oh.
>she sucked him loudly whiled she used one hand to finger herself. She
>was on her knees with four fingers up her wet cunt
Crow: ...while the remaining finger was flipping the bird at the backstage
camera.
Tom: Ah, another GTV exclusive.
>and sucking Shawn's cock with great joy.
Crow and Tom: <singing> She sucked Shawn's cock with great joy! She
sucked Shawn's cock with great joy!
Joel: Guys....
Crow and Tom: <singing> SHE SUUUUUUCKED SHAWN'S COCK
WITH GREAAAAAAAT JOY!
Joel: Hey, I still have emotional scars from reading 'An Elf Maiden's
Christmas', you know!
Crow: Whatever, plugboy.
>She rose a bit on her knees and put Shawn's cock between her huge tits,
>and started to move up and down while she pressed her tits around his
>dick.
Crow: <Xavier Doom> 1200-lbs. per square inch.
Joel: <Bob Costas> Ooh, that's gotta hurt!
>Shawn feat enormous pleasure as he fucked her enhanced tits faster
>and faster. Sable felt that Shawn was about to come and speeded her
>tit fucking up. Shawn came with a loud "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH"
Joel: <starts humming the theme to Platoon>
Crow: <grave tone> It was a brief skirmish, but it was enough. And as the
dust cleared and the screams of anguish faded from the torn battlefield of
silicone... Shawn knew his cock would never return... A tragic end... a
violent death... a brave phallus....
Tom: Heh, I'd like to see Private Ryan try and save that.
>as he squirted his jiz all over Sable's tits and face,
Crow: Would that be cheese jiz now?
>while she lapped it all up. Sable continued to lick Shawn's cock until
>she had licked all the cum of it,
Joel: <Shawn> Ah, okay, Sable, that's enough... really... you're starting to
peel off the skin now....!
Crow: Only *then* did Shawn notice the forked tongue....
>then she lifted her tits
Crow: She stole her own tits? Now, that's the mark of a flexible woman!
>and licked the cum off the nipples.
Tom: Geez, SOMEBODY needs more salt in their diet!
Joel: <Shawn> Ewww... you DO realize you're killing any chance of a
good-bye kiss now, right?
>"Sit down" Sable said and gently pushed Shawn back onto a chair
Joel: <Sable> Time to rock the boat.
Tom: What's she gonna do now? Give him a lapdance?
Crow: Sable *IS* Elizabeth Berkley *IN* 'Showgirls 2: Look! More Tits!'
>while she stroked his once again hardening cock. When it was hard
>again Sable stood up and moved in over him. Sable slowly sat down
>on his cock, she felt her ecstasy rise as she felt each inch of his cock
>in her pussy.
Joel: <Sable>: One... two! Wow, is that it?
Crow: Man, when will lemon writers learn that roosters and cats are
NOT meant to go together!
>When she felt his cock all the way inside her she started to pump up and
>down on Shawn's lap.
Tom: Thank god that isn't Hogan or she'd be sweating to an oldie.
(Joel and Crow facefault out of their chairs)
>Then the door opened
Tom: <Mark Mero> Man, this sucks! First, I get stuck with a ridiculous
Little Richard gimmick complete with makeup and a confetti shooter.
Then I go to the WWF as a 'Wildman' and end up jobbing my ass off to
Goldust. And now I've practically ended my career with a abusive
ex-boxer gimmick... <sighs>... Oh well, at least I'll always have Sable
as a loving and supportive wif... OH MY GOD!!!!!
Crow: Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
>and Hunter Hearst-Helmsley and Chyna entered
Joel: <HHH> Ooof! One at a time! The door's not wide enough for
both of us!
Tom: <Chyna> Does the term 'LADIES FIRST' ring a bell?
Joel: <HHH> Sure, but how does that apply to you?
Crow: Heh.
>"Hey Shawn I defended my European..."
>Hunter said and then he stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Sable bob
>up and down on Shawn.
Tom: <Chyna> Screwing to Venga Boys?!? Sable, have you no shame?!?
>"I'm gonna' get me some of that HHH said and pulled his tights off.
Joel: <Shawn> Take me, Hunter, I'm yours!
Tom and Crow: Ewwwww....
>Hunter put his hands on her shapely ass and parted her buttocks.
Crow: If there's any reference to a red sea, I'm outta here.
>He stroked his cock until it got hard and then he pressed it against her
>ass hole.
>"It's too dry, I can't take it like that" Sable said in pain as Hunter tried
>to ass fuck her.
>"Allow me" the amazon Chyna said
All: <horrified> AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
>as she got down on her knees and started to suck on Hunter's cock.
Crow: <Chyna> Aiya! Ai Ren want Chyna to suck his cock? Chyna so
happy!
Joel: <chuckling> You think Chyna fell into the spring of drowned man?
Tom: Or maybe *HE* fell into the spring of drowned woman?
Joel: Yikes!
>She took all of his cock in while Hunter starts to fondle her firm (silicone)
>tits on the outside of the small top.
Joel: <Sable as Arch Hall Jr.> My tits are full of water!
>Then he flipped first the right and then the left tit out.
All: <singing> You keep your left tit in, you flip your right tit out,
you flip your left tit out and you shake them all about! YOU DO THE
BOUNCY BOUNCY AND YOU SHAKE THEM ALL ABOUT....
Crow: <singing> That's what the strippers shout!
>Chyna quickly got Hunter's cock so wet that he was ready to try
>ass fucking Sable again, but before he did
Crow: He had to wait about three minutes for commercials on athletic
shoes, Mountain Dew, sport drinks, video games, motor oil, and of
course, WWF: The Music Volume Whatever!
Tom: Ah, for the days of Billy Red Lyons.
>Chyna gave Sable a rim job so there was sufficient lubrication.
Tom: Rrrrroll up the rrrrrrim to win!
Joel: Wow, when I do a "rim job", I have to get out the Spic-n-Span and
a toilet brush....
>She licked Sable's ass hard and long
Joel: <Chyna> I saw my dog do this once! It's really neat!
Tom: <Chyna> Peach-flavored? Awww, but I wanted Roody Poo
Candy!
>until she moved aside to make room for Hunter. Hunter grabbed her
>bucking hips and showed her cock up her ass
All: <horrified> AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Tom: Is this fic TRYING to traumatize us?!?
Crow: I think that was Dr. Forrester's primary goal, yes.
>while Shawn continued to slam into her cunt.
Tom: Slam? How apropos in a wrestling lemon.
>While Sable fucked Shawn and Hunter Chyna undressed
Tom: Hunter Chyna?
Crow: My god, they've MERGED!
>and started to finger her black haired cunt. She moved her muscled
>arms up and down as she lay on the table
Crow: Hey, she's throwing her hands in the air! She's waving them
like she just don't care!
Tom: Yeah, that's usually how the crowd felt.
>fingering herself.
Joel: <Chyna> Uhh, I accuse my familiar!
>She found a pair of brass knuckles and put them in her pussy,
Joel: Then she put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up!
Crow: Then she inserted Head to keep the brass knuckles company
while struggling to keep Damien steady....
Tom: <shudders> Let's just pray Dink doesn't get involved.
>she shivered as the cold metal slid up her pussy.
Crow: <Chyna> Ooooooo, I'm having impure thoughts about David
Cronenberg!
>Shawn and Hunter changed positions as Hunter lay on the floor with
>Sable bouncing up and down on him,
Tom: <Sable> Bouncy! Bouncy! Bouncy! Whee! This is so much fun!
>while Shawn fucked her up her tight ass. Chyna pulled the knuckles
>out of her pussy,
Tom: <Gorilla Monsoon> That's a foreign object, Ref! Disqualify her!
>stood up and moved over to Hunter's head.
Tom: <Al Snow> Hey, watch the gimmick infringement, pal!
>She sat down on his head facing Sable. The two women started to kiss
>as Hunter worked his tongue all over Chyna's cunt. Sable felt two cocks
>insider her
Tom: <singing> Two hot cocks on a hot summer night, looking for love....
>and the strong hands of Chyna on her tits and she new she was
>about to cum. Sable's body started to convulse as she came so
>violently that she saw stars,
Crow: Suddenly, the scene changed!
>Hunter felt her cunt tighten on his cock and came as well coating her
>cunt with cum.
>Moments later Shawn came as well squirting cum deep inside Sable's
>ass. Shawn slumped down on Sable in exhaustion.
Crow: And drowned in a pool of jiz between her cleavage. The End.
Joel: So what's on GLOW?
>"Five minutes Shawn," a voice said from outside the door.
Tom: <Rikishi> ...then it's MY turn with Sable and Chyna!
Crow and Joel: <Sable and Chyna> EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!
>Shawn's match was next, and he had to scramble to get ready, but at
>least he was warm and limber.
Joel: And limp. I mean, let's not kid ourselves now.
>Shawn left the dressing room
Crow: <Bobby Heenan> I've just been handed a note here and it says...
Ladies and Gentlemen... SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT THE
LEMON!!!
Tom: <Gorilla Monsoon> Who cares?!?
>to defend his WWF title against "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
Joel: Who, ironically enough, had just finished filming an orgy of his
own for WWF Home Video....
Crow: Volume One: 'Austin Powers 3:16 -- The Son of a Bitch that
Shagged Me.'
Tom: <Austin> Oh behave, ya jackass!
>"Hey that doesn't mean that we have to stop" Chyna said and kissed
>Sable.
>Chyna picked Sable up in her strong arms and placed her on the table.
Tom: <Buh-Buh Ray Dudley> D-VON!!!
Joel: <D-Von Dudley> WHAT?!?
Tom: <Buh-Buh Ray Dudley> GET THE LAWYERS!!!
Joel: <D-Von Dudley> TESTIFY!!!
>She spread Sable's legs and started to lick Sable's hairless cunt. Chyna
>lightly blew on Sable's clit and felt the shivers running up Sable's thighs.
Tom: <Chyna> Whoa, you're ice cold! Hey, somebody crank up the
thermostat!
>Hunter had regained his composure and moved towards the two women.
>Hunter went to Sable's head and kissed her, letting his tongue probe her
>mouth. After a minute Hunter put his cock in front of Sable's mouth and
>she hungrily took it all in her mouth.
Joel: Meanwhile, the rest of Sable's body was growing insanely jealous of
all the attention lavished on her mouth....
>Chyna pulled a nightstick out of a bag
Crow: Chyna and Big Bossman?!? Say it ain't so!
Tom: Considering where she kept her brass knuckles, I'm surprised she
even bothered with a bag....
>and started to slowly push it up Sable's cunt, Sable was first shocked by
>the coldness of the steel
Crow: Ray Traylor liked to refrigerate his nightstick for those long hot
summer nights....
Joel: DON'T go there, Crow.
>but after a minute she got used to the rod in her cunt.
Crow: <Sable> Now *I'M* packing the rod!
>Hunter pulled his cock out of Sable's mouth and said "I'd rather be in
>Chyna"
Crow: Hahahahahahaha... kill me.
Tom: <Chyna> And *I'D* rather have Tom Cruise in me, now get on
with it!
Joel: <Sable> Oh sure, kick me to the curb! What are you, Val Venis?
>and moved behind the black haired amazon.
Joel: <Chyna> Wo da Ai Len... Tell Chyna you love her, Hunter!
Crow: Boy, imagine what would happen if Ranma had gotten himself
engaged to....
Tom: Don't go there, man.
>He ran his hands over her black haired cunt and then spread it with
>both hands before he pressed his cock up her tight pussy.
>"OHHHH those pelvic exercises really worked" Hunter moaned as he
>felt her cunt squeeze his cock. Sable's hips began to buck as Chyna
>rammed the nightstick deeper and deeper into her cunt.
Crow: It was so deep she could taste it!
Joel: Ick.
>Sable arched her back as she came again, and then she collapsed on the
>table. Chyna lay back on the table besides the dazed Sable and
Crow: ...gave the signal to Jeff Hardy who proceeded to set up an eighteen
foot ladder and climbed it to the very top before leaping off in a senton
bomb to land on them, the force of the fall cracking the table in half.
Tom: <Jeff Hardy> I-It's a l-living... ugh....
>Hunter moved in between her string, firm legs and plunged into her
>wet box.
Crow: <Chyna> Hey, get your dick out of my fish tank!
>They fuck with such great force
Tom: Even Yoda couldn't resist sneaking a peek.
>that the table started to slide over the floor. Hunter and Chyna was
>oblivious to the fact that Sable had moved away from the table,
>gotten dressed and left the dressing room while they fucked.
Joel: <Sable, solemn> My job is done here.
>"Oh Hunter, come inside me" Chyna said as Hunter sucked on her tit
>while still fucking her.
Tom: <HHH> I'd rather come ON Chyna.
Crow: <Chyna> Try it and I'll ballshot your testicles into orbit, pal.
>"Hhhhhheeeeeerrrrrr
Crow: <Ed McMahon> ...rrrrrrrrre's JOHNNY!
All: <start humming the old Tonight Show theme>
>it comes" Hunter moaned as he shoot his load deep into Chyna.
Joel: They don't call him 'Hunter' for nothing.
>After two minutes Hunter suddenly said, "I wonder how Shawn is
>doing?"
>Hunter turned on the TV just in time to see "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
>winning the WWF title from Shawn.
>"Oh shit" Hunter said as he realized that Sable had cost Shawn the title.
All: <Muted trumpet imitation> Wah-wah-wah-wahhhhhh.
Joel: The moral of the story? Don't trust anyone over 30DD.
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Tom: Wrapping barbed wire around itself? This lemon must be
HARDCORE!
Crow: <giggles>
>The End
Tom: <Ralph Kramden> Oh, how sweet it is....
Joel: Okay, someone want to explain why Sable would want to sabotage
Shawn's title reign?
Crow: Ummmm... Austin promised her husband a title shot in return?
Tom: Nah, too easy.
Crow: Sable wanted revenge against Hunter for his abuse when she was
his valet by causing friction between him and Shawn?
Tom: <shakes his head> Too complicated.
Crow: The author just wanted an excuse to say "cock cock cock pussy
pussy pussy cunt cunt cunt"?
Tom: Ah, finally! A sensible answer!
>More wrestling related stories are bound to follow. Does anybody have
>a suggestion for a wrestling story please mail me at
>Martin4Life@yahoo.com
Crow: Ask Vince Russo. I hear he's available.
Tom: Five words. Chris Benoit becomes WWF Champion.
Joel: Amen.
>Other stories by Martin4Life can be found on
>ftp://asstr.ml.org/pub/Collections/LEXtext/Authors/
>And will also soon be featured on
>http://www.angelfire.com/tx/TvArcive/amtv.html
>check them out
Joel: <Martin4Life> And keep them overdue so I can fine you! Them
Pay-Per-Views don't come cheap, y'know!
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Crow: Oh, it's just a bunch of plus signs stuck together!
Tom: Really? Are you... POSITIVE?
Crow: Oh, just die, Servo.
Joel: Until next week, Gorilla Monsoon, for the Brains, saying goodnight,
everybody!
(Joel picks up Tom and follows Crow out of the theater)
* * *
DEEP 13
"Shake a leg, Frank. We've got half a hour to keep our reservation
and I don't want to miss the massacre," Dr. Forrester said as he finished
buttoning his trenchcoat.
Frank sat cross-legged on the floor, hands on his cheeks, looking
dejected. "The world was such a sweet and happy place before these, Dr. F!"
he moaned as he gestured to the messy pile of 'Flash O' Reality' cards.
"I guess we'll have to give you another injection of ignorance for you
to build up your bliss reserves, eh, Frank?" Dr. Forrester replied sardonically.
"Really? Yippie!" Frank immediately brightened and leapt to his
feet to dance a happy jig while Dr. Forrester simply rolled his eyes and
headed towards the door before pausing to check his coat pockets. "Frank,
do you have the keys?"
"Nope. Thought you had 'em, Steve," Frank replied.
"Well, hurry up and find them, you load! We're already running
late!" Dr. Forrester snapped as Frank quickly began sniffing around the
room, looking for clues. As he waited, Dr. Forrester took a moment to look
at the tickets clutched tightly in his sweaty palm.
'DISNEY PRESENTS...'
'BILL NYE ON ICE!'
'STARRING KURT BROWNING AS BILL NYE, SCIENCE GUY'
Dr. Forrester chuckled to himself as Frank came running up with
keys in hand. "Got 'em!" Frank announced.
"Good. I've got my laser pointer and rock salt... what's your arsenal
for tonight, Frank?"
"Arsenal?" Frank replied innocently as he produced a package of
Pop Rocks from his pocket.
"Oh, nevermind. Just push the button and let's get going." Dr.
Forrester sighed as he pulled the steel door open while Frank rushed
over to the console for a moment before rushing back to join Dr. Forrester
in a rousing chorus of 'Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!' as they stepped out into
the cavern hallway....
...AND THE MSTINGS
CONTINUE...
I hope you enjoyed this and C&C is very welcome. (megane67@rogers.com
)
I've been MSTing for over four years now and I want to thank each and
every person who's send me words of support and encouragement and
who have helped me throughout these last three years. I treasure every
piece of fan mail I receive and I consider it a great honor that some
people have dedicated their MSTings to me and tell me that I helped
encourage them to start MSTing. To all of you, thank you from the
bottom of my heart and I hope I can continue to inspire and make you
laugh for a long time to come. :)
I'd like to give personal thanks to Zoogz, who helped me with some
in-depth C&C and suggested riffs for this MSTing. He is a very funny
and talented author and you can find his works at
http://www.nabiki.com/mst/zoogz/mst/
including his latest
Sailor Moon/Chrono Trigger MSTing 'Sailor Trigger'. He is currently
editing several FFIRC group MSTings including 'House of Ikari',
'Nene's Babysitter' and 'Battle Royale', all of which will be coming
soon to a fanfiction archive near you!
Also, I'd like to give personal thanks, once again, to Gary Kleppe, whose
C&C and suggestions are always appreciated. I can't say enough nice
things about this guy! :) If you haven't had a chance to check out his
latest works 'Invisible Shadows' and revisions of HaM, you can reach
him at gary@garykleppe.org
or his new webpage at
http://www.garykleppe.org/comics.html
and I'm sure he'll be happy
to send the story along to you.
Additionally, The Placid Jack Acid has finally returned to MSTing action
and has been revising and re-releasing his MST 3001 series which you can
find at http://www.nabiki.com/mst/j_acid/
You can also find his awesome
MST3K artwork scattered around the site and hopefully he will be providing
some more pictures for AMFAS soon. He can be contacted by e-mail at
samearly@hotmail.com
Finally I'd like to thank Martin4Life for writing 'Sable Takes The Gold'
and giving me his blessing to MST it as well as a lot of material to work
with. I hope you're not offended. It's all meant in good fun. :)
***All of Zoogz and my MSTings and the MSTings we've contributed
to can be found in the various categories at:***
'A MSTing for All Seasons'
http://www.nabiki.com/mst
Everything What Is Crap
(formerly Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings)
http://www.svamcentral.org/ewic
>"Hmm well maybe its up higher she said and took her T-shirt off to reveal a
>skin tight spandex pot that barely covered her huge breasts, "Now do you see
>anything Shawn?"
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c) 2004 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights
reserved.
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