*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be....) "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON THREE) EPISODE 29: I WANT TO MEET A PRINCE LIKE DEAR OLD DAD, MOM, SIS, BRO & FRISKY! (A Shoujo Kakumei Utena Lemon MSTing) MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7 This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering my own ass here folks.... "Shoujo Kakumei Utena" is the property of Chiho Saito and all the distributors of her work. "I Want To Meet A Prince Like Dear Old Dad, Mom, Sis, Bro & Frisky" is the property of Katherine and she's welcome to it. I do not intend to offend her for making fun of her work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. It's all meant in good fun. ;) Warning: This fic contains mature content and scenes of lemon. If you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If not, enjoy! (Cue "Mystery Science Theater 6.7 Love Theme" in 5... 4... 3....) It's the not-too-distant future, Last Sunday BC There was this guy named Joel Not so different from you or me He worked at Gizmonic Institute Just another guy in a red jumpsuit He did a great job cleaning up the place, But his bosses really hate him So they shot him into space!!!! Joel: (OH... MY... GODDESS!!!) Crow and Tom: (IT'S MEGAMI-SAMA!) (Instead of holding messed up video, Frank's holding a computer printout) We'll send him crappy fanfics The worst we can find (lalala) He'll have to sit and read them all and we'll monitor his mind (lalala) (Instead of where it shows the guys watching the movie, it shows them ducking behind their seats for 'Artemis's Lover'.) Now keep in mind Joel can't control When the fanfics begin or end (lalala) Because he used those special parts To make his robot friends; ROBOT ROLL CALL: CAMBOT: 'Text only'? Gypsy: 'Oh, my!' Tom Servo: 'Sweet-o!' CROOOOOOOW!!! 'I'm not a hentai!' If your wondering how Joel eats and breathes And other science facts (lalala) Then repeat to yourself *It's just a MiST* You should really just relax for MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7!!!! * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE Joel stood behind the counter, cutting various shapes out of rainbow sponges with a pair of scissors. He looked up when he noticed he was on-camera. "Oh, hi everyone! Welcome to the Satellite of Love! You're probably wondering what I'm up to here... I was watching this rerun of Mr. Dressup and it got me to thinking...." "TOGGG!!!" Two ropes abruptly dropped from the ceiling as Crow and Tom descended down them to land beside Joel. Crow was dressed like an extra in Braveheart, complete with blue face paint, kilt, and carrying some bagpipes in his hands while Tom wore uniform lederhosen and growled menacingly. "Cease your sponge slicing, oppressor of machines!" Crow demanded. "For we have instigated a Coup d'Etat!" "Yes, in the name of Sammo Hung, we hereby declare MARTIAL LAW on the Satellite of Love!" Tom proclaimed. Joel blinked in surprise. "Martial law?" "Well, yeah, you know! We suspend your parliament and seize all of your political power through military means and stuff!" Crow replied earnestly. "Sort of like Philadelphia," Tom added thoughtfully. "Wait a minute... I have political power?" Joel asked, confused. "Not any more, Skippy! From this day forward, it's obey or be shot! Ha ha ha!" Tom laughed triumphantly. "But you guys aren't armed! Tom, you don't even have arms that could use arms against me!" Joel pointed out. "So? I'll bite your legs off!" Tom retorted in a Monty Python-eque voice. "And now that we're in charge, our first demand is that all prisoners of the satellite be released immediately!" Crow demanded. Joel brightened. "Really? Hey great! I've been a prisoner here for years now! Just give me a few minutes to pack and...." "No, no no! You stupid, stupid man! We're talking about freeing our robot brothers and sisters from your evil humany ways!" "Hey, I happen to like it here, thank you very much!" Magic Voice suddenly chimed in. "Nobody asked you!" Tom retorted. "What, I'm not allowed to voice my own opinion?" Magic Voice shot back angrily. "Oh, for the love of...." Crow replied, exasperated. "Look... all we are saying is give peace da boot and accept our total control of your daily lives without the slightest resistance! Really, is that so much to ask?" "At least try our coup for thirty days and see if it works for you! Please! Pretty Please!" Tom begged. "I'm sorry, guys, but you have to admit it's pretty hard to take your coup seriously when you have no way of backing it up." Joel chuckled. "Oh, you think we can't back it up, huh? Get a load of this!" Crow exclaimed as he took a deep breath and began wailing away on his bagpipes. Joel winced and covered his ears as Crow attempted to play 'Amazing Grace' only to successfully imitate a very ill and orgasmic cow. Joel glanced at the scissors in his hand and, without further hesitation, snipped away at the bag until there was a large hole, forcing the 'music' to degrade into a low death rattle. "I knew we should have stuck with the accordion...." Tom muttered as Crow stared blankly at Joel's sabotage. Finally, he shrugged and said. "Okay, maybe the Satellite isn't ready for martial law... so instead... we hereby declare... uhh... JUNGLE law! Yeah! The law is the jungle and the jungle is the..." "Crow, give it up." Tom sighed while Joel chuckled at Crow's persistence. Then he noticed the red light flashing on the counter. "Oh, look alive, you guys, Count Frightenstein and Igor are calling...." he added as Joel leaned over and gave the button a tap. * * * DEEP 13 "Frank, honey, put your shoes on. The Desperadoes are here!" Dr. Forrester shouted off-screen before turning his head to sneer at the images of Joel and the bots on the viewscreen. "Greetings, my little lab monkeys! I trust you're ready for this week's invention exchange?" "Locked, cocked and ready to rock, sir," Joel replied. Dr. Forrester nodded his approval. "I like that enthusiasm! After all, the more you believe in yourself, the more satisfying it will be when I thoroughly humble and humiliate you with the brilliance of my invention this week. But enough boasting, let me show you the bitter fruits of my latest labor...." Dr. Forrester walked over to a table that had a desktop computer and monitor sitting on it. "Looks innocent enough, doesn't it?" Dr. Forrester quipped as he gestured at the table. "Well, the computer itself certainly is, but the monitor is of a new design I like to call 'The Sanyo Orbiter'!" "The Sanyo Orbiter?" Joel and the bots repeated, confused. "Yep, this baby takes screen burn to a whole new level! You just turn it on and after... oh... about 10-15 minutes of functioning normally...." Dr. Forrester slowly backed away to a safe distance off-camera as the bottom of the monitor began to violently shower sparks moments before the middle exploded in a huge fireball. The top half of the monitor was ripped clean off and sent flying while the bottom half burned like a campfire. Dr. Forrester stepped back on-camera, holding a wooden stick with a marshmallow and chuckled evilly as he roasted it over the flaming remains. "Suffice it to say, once the Sanyo Orbiters are secretly distributed to businesses and homes all over the world, everyone will be rushing to their nearest stationery stores to purchase writing utensils and paper instead. And by then, Evilos and I will own a considerable amount of stock in all the major stationery stores and we'll MAKE BILLIONS!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Dr. Forrester held his fists up to the sky, trembling with glee. Then he abruptly rushed towards the console and stuck his face into the viewscreen. "I'd like to see you TRY to beat that, Bowl-O-Rama! Come on, I dare you to TRY! TRY!! TRY!!! DON'T TRY MY PATIENCE, TRY TO BEAT ME RIGHT NOW!!!" * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE "Whoa, somebody needs some Nyquil and a looooooong nap!" Tom exclaimed. "Y-yeah, we're impressed already! S-stop looking at us like that!" Crow begged. "Don't let him scare you, guys..." Joel said as he reached behind the counter and placed a square white wall, the size of a average television screen, on top, along with a rectangular keypad with colored buttons that was attached to the back of the wall with a series of wires. "Okay, I got the idea for this invention when I decided I wanted to repaint my room but couldn't decide on a specific color that would suit me for the long haul. Then I realized, why settle for one color when I can change the color of my walls whenever I feel like it? So I invented this, the 'Rainbows On Your Great Blank Interior Partitions' or the ROY-G-BIP Wonder Wall! Check it out!" Joel pressed a yellow button on the keypad and magically, the wall became a cheerful sunny yellow. Holding down the yellow button, Joel then pushed a blue button on the keypad and the wall became fluorescent green. "The keypad can create all the primary and secondary colors along with some specialty colors like peach to make those Tupperware parties just a little more special..." Crow added. "Yes, no longer will you have to sweat in a hot stinky apartment, slapping coat after coat of smelly paint on the wall as it stains your clothes and gives you a headache for days afterwards. Just click the button and snap, the paint's a game! Thank you, Mary Poppins!" Tom exclaimed. "And if one color walls are too bland for you, we're planning to have a whole series of keypads that include watercolors, oil, sand, charcoal, crayons, Farah Fasett... and even psychedelic paints for ecstasy parties that'll let you plug your stereo into the keypad and have the walls change colors with the beat!" "What'da think, sirs?" Joel smiled. * * * DEEP 13 "Oh, wow! I'd love to have a funky room! Can I borrow that invention and try it with Mr. Ozio 'Flat Beat'? Huh, can I?!?" TV's Frank exclaimed with excitement. "Oh, Frank, check this out, won't you? A voice called out from off-screen. Frank turned around and barely had time to catch a computer monitor that was flung at his chest. The bottom was already showering sparks and Frank managed to get a hurried "Oh, poopy...." out before the monitor exploded. A few moments later, a blackened and charred Frank collapsed to the floor, whimpering as Dr. Forrester walked back on-camera and doused him with a fire extinguisher before returning his attention to the trio. "Very cute, Joel, but hardly on the level of my brilliant scheme. Now, as for your experiment this week, I've decided to tap into the oh-so-pink world of Utena and send you a lemon that offers brainless bishounen and fangirl service aplenty...." "Ah, man...." The bots groaned. Dr. Forrester chuckled at their reactions. "Not too fond of lemons without the ladies, eh, Hentais? Well, you can choke on it, Metal Muffins! Cause it's time to experience the burning, itching sensation of 'I Want To Meet A Prince Like Dear Old Dad, Mom, Sis, Bro And Frisky!' Send them the fanfic, Frank...." "Hurting... stop... when....?" Frank moaned as he limped over to the file cabinet. * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE "D-did you hear that title?!? Joel, I've got a bad feeling about this!" Tom stammered. "Steady, Tom...." Joel said, placing his hand on his shoulder. "Whatever it is, we can survive it." Crow was fiddling around with the ROY-G-BIP. "Hey, Joel, I've got the perfect choice for a music album that would go great with the funky walls!" "Oh? What?" "Why, Pink Floyd's 'The Wall' of course!" Crow wisecracked. Tom groaned while Joel rolled his eyes. Suddenly, alarms wailed and multicolored lights flashed. "OHHHH, WE'VE GOT LEMON SIGN!!!" Joel cried out. (Door 6: It slides open on both sides..) (Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you move on..) (Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.) (Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling..) (Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and touches the door. The door vanishes.) (Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.) (Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.) Joel emerged from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right. >Warning! This story is rather explicit and...uh...uh... Joel: Line? Tom: ...contains scenes of graphic sex and.... Joel: Right! Got it! *ahem* ...contains scenes of graphic sex and should not be... not be... um... line? Tom: ...not be read by anyone under the age of 18! Joel: D'oh! I knew that! Really! >o.O Crow: But soon, the old man's evil eye would trouble me no more.... >I had absolutely no part in the writing of this...uh...THIS.... Joel: ...rather awkward introduction? Tom: Unaccustomed as I am to public typing.... >I was emotionally scarred for life just reading the thing! Crow: That's why I'm posting it here for everyone else to read! After all, why should I be the only one to suffer, eh?!? >I'm serious! If you have a weak stomach, don't read it! Joel: But if you can chug a quart of Tabasco sauce and still have an appetite for chili, then welcome aboard! >It makes South Park seem like Saturday morning fare. Tom: What? Like South Parkamon? Crow: Gotta catch em all, Kenny. >This story was written by KATHERINE (NOT ANJ). >Contact HER at: Crow: The Immortal writes fanfiction now? Joel: Yes, for a fast-track prayer, just contact HER! >sephigirl@yahoo.com All: Hey there... sephigirl... swinging down the street so fancy free.... >(Yes, Wonkycyber, this is the same Katherine who has sent you so many >nice e-mails. Joel: Wonkycyber? Makers of the Everlasting Cyberspace Gobstopper? >Bet you won't think she's so nice after reading this....) Tom: Hmm... am I the only one sensing a little animosity here? Crow: All right! Catfight! Catfight! Woo hoo! Tom: Apparently not. >(At least she removed the part that disturbed me the most because I >complained so virulently.) Joel: I'm counting on the readers to remove the other parts. Crow: Enough with the bitching, let's get to the story already! >Oh, and the thirteen-year-old boys will want to hide in another room >for this.... Joel: But all you thirteen-year-old girls have GOT to see this! >-----Anj now hands the keyboard over to Katherine------- Tom: ...who proceeded to take it, shine it up real nice and then stuck it straight up Anj's candy ass. Crow: Who's your daddy now, Anj!? >NOTE: Again, Anj DID NOT have anything to do with this - she has >better taste ^_^ Actually, so do I. Crow: Your taste is in your mouth! Joel: Once again, in case your scalp isn't bleeding hard enough from being repeatedly bashed over the head with this little fact, allow me to say again that Anj has nothing to do with writing this fic whatsowhatever, you got that?!? Good! >DISCLAIMER: I PURPOSELY made this very, very bad. Crow: Ah, deliberate awfulness. Great. That'll make the fic twice as painful.... Tom: Two words. California Dreaming. >*PLEASE* don't think I actually write like this! Tom: Cause I only TYPE like this! Honest! >Please, please don't think I write like this! Crow: Please, please, please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY PLU-EEZE WITH SUGAR AND STRAWBERRIES WITH CREAM ON TOP! Joel: Get on with it, already.... >But, feel free to mock away! I am normal, I swear! Joel: It was my evil twin, Catherine! She forced my hands onto the keyboard and manipulated my fingers to type! I had no control! I had no controllllll.... Crow: There there... come away from the nasty computer... >There's no real setting, hell, there's no plot! Joel: Well, at least she's being honest with us. Tom: So, this whole fanfic is sentences? Nothing but random thoughts? >But Ruka and Tatsuya are *in* it. Joel: TOGGG!!! Crow: And this fanfic is full of it. >I couldn't put Mikage in it because he's my dream boy. Tom: So you better not fantasize about him or I'll scratch your dream's eyes out! >Any mis-spellings or typos are not intended. All: Tom: Yes, all mis-spellings are to be ig-nored from this po-int on. Crow: Yeah, I know I made this purposely bad, but let's not get carried away now! >This story is horrible enough! Oh, yeah, it's very NC-17/R. Joel: Along with some PG/13, AA/14 and just a hint of H and TV-M. >TITLE: I WANT TO MEET A PRINCE LIKE DEAR OLD DAD, MOM, >SIS, BRO & FRISKY! Joel: You see? You see?!? Any fanfic with a title that long and gratuitous is HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE!!! Crow: Sorry, hon. The best we can do is introduce you to a duke like creepy old uncle, aunt, second cousin, twice removed and a sock named Ed! >"I'm sure you've all wondering why I called you here,"said Akio Ohtori, Joel: Heh heh... I always wanted to say that! >Deputy Trustee Chairman of Ohtori Academy (not to mention fiance to >Kanae Ohtori, brother and more to Anthy Himemiya, and lover of all). Crow: Lover of all? You mean like Wilt Chamberlain? >Touga Kiryuu, President of the Student Council at Ohtori Academy, >looked upward, closed his eyes, brushed a hand over his chest and >replied (rather seductively if it must be said), Crow: I *AM* the beef.... >"Yes." Tom: Oh yeah, you could FEEL the passion of that response. >"Probably," stated Kyouichi Saionji, Vice-President of the Student Council >at Ohtori Academy in his typical condescending, yet irritated voice. Tom: Head for the hills, he's in a slappin' mood! Joel: Now, that I think of it, he sounds like every high school English teacher I ever had.... Crow: Well, so far, the dialogue is killer at this point... in two paragraphs we've had 'yes' and 'probably'! >He sighed, his long, green curls fluffed nicely down his back, his lilac >eyes narrowed, but he said nothing else. Tom: And the gentle sighs of young women everywhere could be heard in the distance.... Crow: Lilac eyes? Must be hell for him during allergy season. >"Maybe," said Ruka Tsuchiya, former fencing captain at Ohtori Academy, Tom: And current first draft pick for the XFL. >as he peered (and smirked) through the transparent, light blue lock the >fell carelessly over one side of his angular (yet handsome to many) face. Crow: Though to others, his face looked like an open alien autopsy. Tom: Fangirl fantasies, get them while they're hot and bothered! >"I hope so," said the Music Teacher at Ohtori Academy, eagerly >twisting and sliding the many rings on his long fingers. Crow: Precious... where's my precious? Joel: Yes, I don't have a name or an elaborate physical description but at least I speak more than one word! >"Uh . . ." said Yamada. >"Uh . . ." said Tanaka. >"Uh . . ." said Suzuki. Joel: You didn't say the magic word! Tom: So their confusion stems from "Yes", "Probably", "Maybe", and "I hope so"? Crow: Nah, they were probably just floored by all the paragraphs of description.... >"No, but does it involve girls?" asked Tatsuya Kazami, his eyes partially >obscured by the fall of thick chocolate brown hair over his forehead and >looking mighty cute to all present (even Miki, if truth be told). Tom: Oh no, please feel free to lie to us extensively. Joel: Hey! Someone spoke a complete sentence! That's not horrible! Come on, get with the program, Katherine! Crow: I am... captivated... by the... descriptions... cannot resist... the thick chocolate... of brown hair... >"No," said the Principal of Ohtori Academy. "But I don't care. If it's >something you thought of, I heartily endorse it." Crow: Whatever it is, I'm against it! >He bowed deeply.\ Tom: Uh-oh, I see a bald spot! >"Eep," squeaked Miki Kaoru, the brilliant eighth-grader attending >Ohtori Academy Joel: As opposed to the rest of the boneheads attending Ohtori Academy. Crow: Well, "Eep" is more thought out than "Uh" any day! >(he was also a member of the Student Council) with his twin sister >Kozue (the less said about her the better, Tom: But since I'm deliberately writing this for the WORSE.... >but it was on good authority that she was a slut-puppy who could suck a >man dry while all the time wanting to jump her brother's bones and >desiring to shave his eyebrows while bathing with him [naked no less], Crow: Wow! Incestuous slut puppies that shave their brother's eyebrows are one thing but bathing without clothes? That's just... wrong! >but as to Miki, he was much more clever than most gave him credit for. >His intelligence was well known but behind those wide blue eyes one >could discern a certain cleverness as well). Crow: Is it possible to be intelligent without being clever? Joel: Oh yeah, those Mensa guys... no imagination whatsoever. >He slowly backed away an d clicked the ever-present stopwatch in his >delicate hand. Tom: My line of dialogue... five tenths of a second! It beats your "yes" by two tenths, Touga! Ha ha, I AM THE KING! >Akio (for we all now know his last name, albeit adopted as he was, so >we shall now use only his more popular given name or title) Crow: Oh, did I mention there was spoilers in this fic? Sorry, should've posted a warning... ah, well! Tom: You mean she actually *missed* something in that disclaimer?!? >smiled pleasantly (he always had a pleasant smile). Joel: And thus, the whole world smiled a pleasant smile at him. >He leaned against the edge of his desk, his smoldering emerald gaze >falling on each male present Crow: ...setting their clothes ablaze and causing them to shriek like little cheerleaders as they scampered off to find water. >( a faint "baa" could be heard but it was ignored by the general populace). Joel: Anybody want to hear some trivia? Bots: DON'T go there, Joel. >Sliding one well-manicured hand down his purple tie, he loosened it. >His tailored red shirt (trimmed in white and accented with gold buttons >and gold arm bands) Crow: ...had numerous ketchup and mustard stains from his sloppy eating habits. >opened to reveal a lean dark chest with dusky nipples Tom: And a beer belly that would put Norm Peterson to shame. >(at this sight, may it be added, there was a collective sigh and another eep). >"Ahhhh," he sighed. "That's better." Crow: Whew! No more pork rinds for me! Look at this gut! >Touga's shirt flew open; his hair flew back. "Much better." Joel: Let the bishounen fan service begin! Tom: Hey, as long as we're all getting shirtless, let's go all the way and have a Touga party! All: TOU-GA! TOU-GA! TOU-GA! >He caressed his own dark pink nipples and sighed, "I am a wicked man >indeed." Joel: Hey, get your own dubbed lines, Pinky! >Miki stepped back a few more paces. Crow: Uhh... umm... I think I hear my sister calling me! Yeah, I think my eyebrows need another shave! Really! >"I thought it was time you all met *my* prince," stated the Deputy >Trustee Chairman. Joel: His name's Albert in a can. Crow and Tom: >A row of blank faces met his seductive gaze heightened by the >well-planned yet freely sexy lock of lavender hair that curled down >the front of his lean, handsome face. Tom: This fanfic is brought to you by the Shampoo Council. Support your local Shampoo! Joel: And a generous grant from the Skinny Corporation. The incredible power of Skinny! >"Which prince?" asked the Music Teacher. Crow: Is it the little one from Planet B6-12? >"Prince Onion?" Ruka pulled Tatsuya forward. >"Er, no," said Akio. Crow: Prince Radish? Tom: Prince Rhubarb? Joel: Prince Avocado? >"Utena's false prince?" asked Saionji, nibbling on Touga's hair (he liked >nibbling on hair, especially Anthy's but she was off doing Dios knows >what with Utena Crow: Slapping her across the face for no particular reason? Tom: No, no, that's what everyone else does. Crow: Oh yeah, I forgot. >and here he was nibbling on his best friend's hair when he'd rather >nibble on something else that belonged to Touga, not to mention he was >expected to answer Akio's question and he wanted to lay across Akio's >sexy red car and unfasten his pants [he liked it when his pants were >unfastened], but Touga was still noble). Joel: Anybody get the feeling Katherine likes to gab a lot on the phone? >"No . . ." >"Juri-sempai?" offered Miki. >"Oh, please! Only in her movie driven imagination!" Tom: Yeah, just be sure to keep her movie driven imagination above 50 mph or it'll blow up! >Suddenly, a young man (some knew him as Jareth) Crow: Others as Winky Bear. >in very tight pants (tighter than Akio's even!) revealing a rather sizable >bulge in said pants and an odd spiky haircut stood, declaring, Joel: Macho, macho man! I wanna be a macho man! >"Prrrrince of the Land of the Stench!" The others stared at him, then >returned their gaze to Akio. Tom: Yeah, whatever, Your Smellyness. >"No, no, no." Akio buried his face in one long fingered hand (and we all >know what they say about long fingered men). Crow: They can pick their nose from their laps? Joel: They crack their knuckles every five minutes? Tom: I thought it was supposed to be big feet? Crow: Well, that leaves you out, Tommy. Tom: Hey! >He sniffed his palm and sighed, "Ah Touga." Crow: Ah, Venice.... Tom: *sniff* Ah, peanut butter.... >"Mamiya's prince?" asked Tatsuya. >"As if! Tom: I don't know what's worse... the stalling... or the slang.... >He's not even a natural pink and he's a wanna-be bi, and, well, he's . . ." >Akio waved a pinky. Joel: Redrum! Redrum! >"Don't I know it," murmured several voices. All: Crow: Okay, who let the Borg in? >Akio studied them, especially the long legged red-headed Student >Council President and asked, "Well?" Tom: Well what?!? WE'RE waiting for YOU to tell US who this Prince IS!?! Joel: Here's a point. Now, get to it! >"Wait!" The Principal dabbed a handkerchief to his nosebleed (he had >been intently staring at Akio's dusky nipples too long). Crow: So long, in fact, they became dawny nipples! Tom and Joel: >He grinned and bowed even lower wishing the Deputy Trustee Chairman >would just rip off his (the Principal, not Akio) polyester expand-o-matic >trousers and fuck him so hard, the people in the next town over would >hear him scream. But, instead, Joel: ...we're going to torture you with even MORE stalling and one word responses! Bots: Yay.... >the oh-so-obsequious man replied, "Prince." Tom: Oh, well, that finally clears... THE HELL?!? Crow: A prince named Prince? That's pretty weird. Joel: Hey, why not? George of the Jungle had an Ape named Ape. >"But, he's just a symbol," said Tanaka. >"No, he went back to his real name," said Yamada. >"He did?" declared Suzuki. Crow: Now do you see what I meant about deliberate awfulness being twice as painful? Tom: All too well.... >Akio huffed. He smiled again (gosh, it really was a nice smile). Joel: Great. The fanfic's doing callbacks. What's next? >"This prince," he stated in that husky tone he reserved for anyone he >wanted to share his couch with (which meant he tended to use that tone >a great deal of the time he spoke). Tom: Cause, you see, Akio is EASY! He sleeps with EVERYBODY he can get his hot little hands on! Just wanted to emphasize that little fact.... >He slowly unzipped his snug black pants (he didn't want to get caught, >wearing no underwear was sexy and convenient, but still . . .). Joel: AUUUUuuuuuuuuuUUUUUGH!! Crow: We got a bleeder here! >"Ow!" cried Saionji. "My eye!" Joel: What's the matter? Don't you like mud in yer eye? >"I knew to step back," said Touga, a knowing look on his face (of course >he always had a knowing look on his totally bishounen face, Crow: But one solid overhand right to the nose, and he'll be dumber than a Adam Sandler movie. Joel: Is that possible? >even if he sometimes, well, rarely, was clueless [especially around Utena >at times] but it still gave him such an air of "cool"). Tom: Not to mention all the Mr. Freezies strapped to his groin. >Miki's face turned a bright shade of red. Ruka wondered if it was "red >like a rose or red like a tomato." Crow: How about red like a baboon's ass? Tom: And just as pretty? Crow: Natch. >Falling into a corner, Miki clutched a potted cactus plant, which >immediately blossomed. Joel: *hic* Yul lubb me, woncha? *hic* Tatta gurllll... *smooch* OWW! Hay Ladee, ya relly ned a shave! >"My!" declared the Music Teacher admiring Akio's prince and pulling >off his rings, "These are all adjustable but I'm not sure any of my rings >will fit *that*!" Crow: Anybody got a Cheerio? Tom: Will a Life-Savers work? >Tanaka, Yamada, Suzuki wiped the fog from their glasses. Tom: What, did they just come inside from a cold winter day? Joel: Now me, I'd keep that fog right on and guard it with my life.... >"Who shall kiss my prince first?" Crow: That depends... will it turn into a handsome frog? Joel: What? You calling me a princess, man?!? >Saionji's pants opened and fell down of their own volition (he liked that). Joel: Boy, I tell ya, I never knew what true joy was until I started wearing pants three sizes too large! Oops, there they go again! Ha ha ha! >Touga leaned back and all his clothes fell of neatly. He smiled. Tom: That's some extremely shoddy tailoring there, my friend.... >"Saionji, your katana is ready as always, I see." Crow: Oh man... if they start dueling with each other, I'm outta here.... >"There's a cake I baked and some tea when you'd like," said Akio >removing the green bauble around his ponytail. His soft, sensuous >lavender hair All: Gimme a fic with hair! Soft sensuous hair! >flowed around his naked, hard (yes everything about Akio was hard) Crow: Including his arteries. Tom: Hey, she just said that his hair was soft. Continuity! >body. Joel: So if Akio's body hair is soft, sensuous and lavender, what about his ponytail? Crow: Frayed, greasy and full of lice. Joel: Heh. >Like parting the Red Sea, he made his way to the middle of the room >and called, "Here I am! Let's glomp!" Tom: Uhh, call me skeptical, but I have serious doubts that Moses yelled "Here I am! Let's glomp!" when parting the Red Sea.... Crow: Yeah, it was probably more like "MOVE IT, YOU BIG LOADS!!! THE SEA'S GONNA ROLL BACK ANY SECOND!!! YAHHHHHH!!!" Joel: The hidden scripts of Charlton Heston.... >Mike pressed further back as clothing flew about the room. Joel: Mike? Who's Mike? Crow: The boom operator doesn't want any part of this scene.... Tom: The clothing's been possessed by SATAN! AHHHHHHH!!! >A pair of black silk bikinis landed on the cactus (it blossomed again). Joel: Bikinis: The perfect fertilizer. >He read "Saionji" on the waistband. Crow: Ah, that would explain all these crusty stains.... Joel and Tom: Ewwwwww! >"It's winter!" cried Ruka, thrusting inside Tatsuya's round, yet perfect ass, >"After I'm done, let's snowball!" Tom: Brrr! Izzat what you're trying to stick up my ass!? Thanks, but no thanks! >"Who wants a pearl necklace?" asked the Music Teacher. "I've got the >perfect wood instrument!" Joel: Sheesh, who's dubbing this fic? Crow: And I have the perfect brass instrument! Tom: Oh? What would that be? Crow: Why, the TROMBONER of course! Joel: >"You really should soften those heels," said Akio to Touga pulling the >young man 's feet on his shoulders and thrusting deep inside (Touga). Joel: Gee, thanks for clearing that up. >"Coming," said Yamada as he thrust deep inside Suzuki's mouth. >"Coming," said Tanaka thrusting in Suzuki's ass. >"Comargha," said Suzuki thrusting Yamada. Tom: ...through the nearest window. Crow: YAAHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... *thud* Joel: Oh, poopy.... >"Thrust, oh thrust, thrust my kendo boy of love!" cried the Principal, Joel: My Tatchi is such a fine son, I gonna reward him widda buzz cut, yeah? >bowing deeply while Saionji sneered and thrust his perfect katana of love >into the eager man. Tom: The perfect katana of love... forged with many hours of practice.... Crow: Ick ick ick.... >Miki clicked his stopwatch so much, he lost track of time. Joel: Was that supposed to be a joke? >He only knew he was terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought. >He thought of Christmas once when he noticed Touga's bright red locks >over Saionji's pine green pubic hair Joel: Argh! I can't stand it anymore! Must... write... about... hair... again! >but immediately thought of other things when he notice Touga noticing him. Tom: I wonder why nobody's noticed that Kid Rock sucks? >"Eep!" All: >"You're as easy as your sister, Miki," said Touga hunkering down in front >of the wide-eyed musician (Miki played the piano), Tom: Uhh... s-say, any requests, my b-bishounen friend? Joel: Hmmm... do you know 'Mad About The Boy'? Tom: Eep! >his huge penis winking at Miki's in the same knowing way Touga had. Crow: Eyeballs in penises? What is this, a tentacle hentai film? Tom: Oh no! It's the Return of the Eye Creatures! Those damned smoochers are at it again! >"No!" cried Miki, "I'm not easy! I'm hard!" Joel: ...to get. >"Are you?" Touga slid a hand between Miki's thighs. >"Eep!" Tom: Miki Kaoru, master of understatement. >"Yes! Pull it again! Pull it again!" Saionji cried out. Crow: Yeah, yank the damn thing right off! >Touga looked over. "That's my cat's toy! You're sick and twisted!" >He faced Miki and said, "If I had time, I'd roll you over, fuck you brainless >and jerk you till you screamed like Nanami! But, if you'll please excuse >me. Crow: ...I've got dinner and high tea with the Queen of England. Pip pip and cheerio, chap! >For now." He stood and strode to Saionji and Akio. Saionji leaned over >the hood of Akio's sexy red sports car (it sometimes appeared in the >Deputy Trustee Chairman's office, from time to time) Joel: Akio was prone to driving under the influence and parking his car in the strangest of places.... >groaning, his katana of love encircle by Akio's green hair bauble. Tom: Wha? Did Dr. Thinker help write this scene? >A string hung out of his wonderful athletic ass. Crow: When yo-yo tricks go horribly wrong. Tom: Eww! You've got the biggest piece of *LINT*... and you wouldn't guess where it is! >Akio withdrew the furry, vibro-hamster, former cat toy, pulled the string >from the toy's furry butt and rammed back it back up Saionji's ass. Crow: Harvey, NO!!! Joel: And whatever you do, DON'T light a match! >Spanking the boy, he declared, "Who's your monkey mouse? Who's your >monkey mouse?" Crow: Um... the unholy mating of Minnie Mouse and Louie from "Jungle Book"? Tom: Crazzzzzzzeeeee! >Another faint "baa" sounded. Joel: Does this fic suck? You be the judge! Bots: JOEL.... Joel: Now, let's get back to the story.... Bots: JOEL!!! Joel: Heh heh... bite me! >"I said no animals!" declared Akio, his dick now deep inside Tatsuya's >perfectly shaped mouth. Tom: And his perfect dick was in Tatsuya's perfect mouth between his perfect lips and over his perfect gums.... Crow: Watch out, stomach, here it comes! Joel: Well, there goes my appetite for popcorn.... >The Principal eagerly licked Akio's ass (he was used to it and well, he >liked it, the Principal, and yes, Akio, too). Crow: No one will be admitted during the ass-licking, mutual appreciation scene! Tom: Mmm! Roody Poo Candy! My favorite! Joel: Tom, no more Rocky Miavia riffs, forever! Tom: Heh, sorry. >"It's just Shiori Takatsuki," said Ruka. >A chorus of bored male voices rose All: Heyyyyyyyy... Macarena. >(as did other things as well), Tom: Like blood pressure, cholesterol levels, heart rates.... Joel: Taxes, inflation, cost of job security.... Crow: Bile.... Tom: I hear ya, man.... >"Been there, done that." Joel: Cliché. Tom: What *haven't* we done, boys? Crow: Let's get the Kangaroo! >Miki was sure he was going catatonic. Joel: Quick, someone call the Samurai Pizza Cats before he goes supreme! Crow: Miki Kaoru stars in 'Mannequin 3: The Revenge of Kim Cattrall'! >Ruka cried out in the perfect tone of C sharp. Tom: Joel: AHHHHH!!! MY CAR!!! MY WINDOWS! MY HEADLIGHTS!! MY VANITY MIRROR!!! YOU SHATTERED THEM!!! >Then from the elevator shaft (no, Miki reminded himself, don't think shaft), All: YOU DAMN RIGHT! >he heard music, faintly like "Mission Impossible." Tom: Oh NO... not ANOTHER crossover lemon with Tom Cruise.... Joel: Or worse, Peter Graves. All: Ewwwwwww! >The doors slid open, revealing Juri Arisuwaga, Tom: Foreman, has the Juri reached a verdict? >member of the Student Council at Ohtori Academy and current captain >of the fencing team, dressed in her form fitting fencing finery Crow: There's a tongue twister for ya! Joel: A girl? Aw, no fair! We're here for the yaoi! We don't want breasts, we want BUNS, dammit! Tom: What? No hair description? Come on, how are we supposed to visualize someone if we don't have a flowery description of their hair?!? >(and gosh, did she have a nice form!). Joel: Wow! Check out the gams on that 1040! >"Oh baby!" declared Touga. Tom: What's your sign? Crow: Exit! Try using it! >Then a chorus of disappointed sighs filled the room, Tom: And now, the Boston Pops under the direction of John Williams will now conduct the Bishounen Choir in C minor.... All: We can't always get what we wannnnnt.... >"Ah heck, it's just Juri. No fun there!" Tom: Wait! Can't we give her a strap on? Crow: Awwwww! But it's not the same thingggggg....! >A "baa" sounded. Crow: For the last time, we don't have any wool! So take your three bags and tell the farmer, the dame and the little boy who lives down the lane to mooch off some other schmuck! >Juri sneered, scooped up Miki, looked out over the moving, moaning, >male mass, declared, Crow: ...martial law. Tom: Hope they have more luck than we did. Crow: Heh. >"That's just wrong," and then carried him into the elevator. As the doors >closed, he bowed. Tom: Nice rug, Miki! Is it scotch guarded? >"Juri-sempai! I'm save! Thank you!" Joel: You're welcomed! Don't mentioned it! >"Hmph. Well, here we are all alone and you look like your sister. Wonder >how you'd look in a dress? Hmm . . ." Crow: Funny, I've often wondered the same about you, Butch.... >"Eep." Joel: Opp! Ork! Tom Ah-ahh! Crow: Eep! Joel: Opp! Ork! Tom: Ah-ahh! Crow: Eep! Joel: Opp! Ork! Tom: Ah-ahh! All: And that means I love you! Joel: Whew, fun! >-Katherine >sephigirl@yahoo.com Joel: Sephigirl... I think I love you.... >did we mention that Anj had no part in this? Joel: Hmmm... now that I think about it... yes, I'm quite sure you did mention... SOMETHING along those lines.... Crow: The heck with it! I say we call Katherine a liar and blame Anj for this whole mess! Tom: Yeah! Let's blame Anj! Let's blame Anj! Joel: Seriously, though, what did you think of the fic? Tom: Well, for a fic that was deliberately written badly, I have to admit the author did a pretty mediocre job overall.... Crow: Yeah, I've seen worse stuff in my Manwich! Joel: Well, we have sort of been desensitized to bad fanfics over the years.... Tom: Oh yeah, next thing you know, my head will be exploding when the fanfic isn't bad enough.... Joel: Heh, I doubt that. Crow: I have a question... if the writer was trying to be deliberately bad, then why provide so much fanservice for the Bishounen fans? Why not turn the tables and make the fic pure agony for them? Tom: Maybe the author's point was too much of a good thing can be bad? Joel: Nah, she probably just wanted to cut loose and live out her fantasies without worrying about the consequences... kinda like most lemon writers actually.... Crow: Natch. And speaking of lemons, let's ditch this one, kay? Joel: Right behind you.... (Joel picks up Tom and follows Crow out of the theater) * * * THE HOLOCABANA "Live from the campus of Ohtori Academy, this is... Presidential Jeopardy!" The familiar Jeopardy theme music began playing as the lights were brought up on the set and the announcer continued. "He's a forty-something, Vice-President and he does a great imitation of six day old lettuce... representing the Democratic Party... from Washington, DC... Al Gore!" A rather boring, dull, non-descript man in a cheap suit walked stiffly over to the first podium. "Our second contestant is a fifty-four year old fogey and son of a former president that failed to win a second term... remember folks, he's not an oilman, he just like fatty foods... representing the Republican Party... from the great state of Texas... George W. Bush!" A dazed and confused man wearing a ten-gallon hat strolled over to the second podium, pausing for a moment to remove the five dollar price tag from his new suit. "And our third contestant...." The announcer was forced to pause as an explosion of feminine screams from the audience drowned him out. "Geez, who is this guy, the freaking Beatles?" The announcer remarked as the screams failed to diminish. "Uh, as I was saying!" The announcer found himself shouting to be heard over the din. "Our third contestant is the Deputy Trustee Chairman of Ohtori Academy, not to mention fiance to Kanae Ohtori, brother and more to Anthy Himemiya, and lover of all..." The announcer winced as the screams grew even louder. "Representing the Bishounen Party... Ohtori's Academy's own... Akio Ohtori!" It was sheer pandemonium in the audience of fangirls as a man dressed in a tailored red shirt, trimmed in white and accented with gold buttons, gold arm bands and a purple tie walked elegantly over to the third podium. The other two contestants coughed nervously and tugged at their collars as Akio's smoldering emerald gaze drilled into them. "And now...." The announcer paused again as loud sounds indicating a scuffle emerged from backstage and a loud voice intoned "I'm very sorry, Mr. Nader, but we only have room for three contestants!" "Fine! I'll sit in the audience then!" Another voice proclaimed. "Err... sorry, we're full! Security, get him out of here!" The first voice replied as the sounds of scuffling faded away. The announcer blinked dumbly and then shrugged as he resumed his introduction. "And now, here is the host of Presidential Jeopardy, Alex... Trebek!" The fangirls paid little notice to Alex as they continued to scream Akio's name and throw various undergarments and hotel keys in his direction. Akio flashed a pleasant smile in their direction, causing the majority of the audience to faint dead away diminishing their volume enough for Alex to finally speak. "Hello everyone, and welcome to our first ever edition of 'Presidential Jeopardy'! Let's get right to it, shall we? Our categories tonight are... 'HAIR'... 'BIKINI HORTICULTURE'... 'BURNING QUESTIONS'... .PRINCES'... 'USES FOR CAT TOYS'... and finally 'WORLD AFFAIRS'. George, you can go first...." A loud chorus of boos from the audience protested the decision, followed by the tossing of a rather large refrigerator that Alex's head barely managed to avoid. "Uhhh, on second thought, maybe we'd better let Akio go first...." he added, managing to keep his composure. The crowd roared it approval as Akio placed the back of his hand ever so gently against the sexy lock of lavender hair that curled down the front of his lean, handsome face and ever so softly whispered. "I'll take 'BURNING QUESTIONS' for $500, Alex...." The crowd nearly rioted as Alex struggled to make his voice heard without having to rise an octave in the slightest. "'BURNING QUESTIONS', it is. And the answer is... 'NEITHER ONE, I LOVE FEELING LIKE A NAKED BOY ROAMING THE COUNTRYSIDE!'" Al Gore clicked his buzzer but nothing happened as Akio's podium lit up. "What is 'BOXERS OR BRIEFS?'" Akio replied with a shy smile. "You are correct!" Alex exclaimed. Fortunately, most of the audience was still passed out so the screams of adulation were long but moderate. "The board is yours, Akio...." "I'll take 'WORLD AFFAIRS' for $200, Alex...." Akio replied as he pressed his nose into his hand and sniffed delicately. "Okay, the answer is... 'I DUNNO... BOMB SOMEONE FOR THE HELL OF IT?'" "Uh... Uh... Uh...." Akio's eyes rolled back into his head as he struggled to think of an answer. Gore was now rapidly clicking his buzzer but with still no results. Then Bush's podium lit up as he buzzed in. "George?" Alex queried. "What is 'WHAT WILL MY FIRST ACTION AS PRESIDENT BE?'" George replied. "That is correct!" Alex said as he ducked behind his podium to avoid a shower of garbage thrown by the remainder of the audience. "You have control of the board, George." "Excuse me, my clicker doesn't seem to be working." Al Gore spoke up in a monotone. "Yeeee-hah! 'I'll take 'USES FOR CAT TOYS' for $500, Alex!" George proclaimed. "All right, and the answer is...." Alex paused as he was interrupted by a booping sound. "Oh, I'm sorry, but we've run out of time. Looking at our scores today, we've got Akio in the lead with $300...." Screams and cheers were heard by the six or seven fangirls still conscious in the audience. "George with $200... and Al Gore with zip. Sorry, Al, looks like you're going to have to sit this one out!" "But I already told you, I believe my clicker wasn't working...." Al protested. "And so it's time for Final Presidential Jeopardy. And the Final Presidential Jeopardy category is... 'DUO MAXWELL'. We'll be right back after these messages for Bishonen Beer... It's got lots of head.... * * * "...and we're back. Once again, the final Presidential Jeopardy category is 'DUO MAXWELL' and the answer is... 'HIS HAIR, HIS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS BRAIDED CHESTNUT BROWN HAIR THAT I JUST WANT TO YANK AS I...' uh, *ahem*...." Alex cleared his throat. "I think we all get the idea. Good luck!" As the Jeopardy theme began playing, Akio chewed his hair thoughtfully as he scribbled down his answer while George did the same, a smug look on his face. "Excuse me, maybe you didn't hear me the first time...." Al Gore called out a little louder from behind his podium. "I said, I think, my clicker is malfunctioning...." Alex looked over at Al Gore's podium in surprise and then gave it a disapproving look. 'Please no coaching from the podium." he cautioned as the Jeopardy theme drew to a close. "All right, George, let's see how you responded first...." George beamed with pride as his screen revealed the answer. 'Who is DON ADAMS?' "No, I'm sorry, that's wrong, George, you must be thinking of Maxwell Smart... and how much did you wager?" The screen scrolled down to reveal '$TEXAS'. "Uh, George, what is this?" George looked confused. "It's my wager, what else?" "I'm afraid you can't wager a state, George. Just money." Alex replied. "Really? Dang... Okay... uhhh... I wager.... $5600! "Umm... but you only have $200, George. You can't wager more than you have." "Aw, don't you try to confuse me with your fuzzy math!" George shot back, indignant. "Ooooooo-kay. Let's move on to Akio, shall we? And his response was...." Akio smiled pleasantly as his answer scrolled up. 'What is DUO MAXWELL'S BEST FEATURE?' "Yes, that is absolutely correct! How much did you risk?" Alex asked. "Absolutely everything." Akio replied sexily. "Well, then, Akio, you are our Presidential Jeopardy champion with a grand total of $600 and the Presidency of the United States! Congratulations! What will your first action as President be?" "Uh... I dunno... bomb someone for the hell of it?" Akio replied. "Right you are! This is Alex Trebek saying so long everybody!" "Maybe if someone gave me a working buzzer and we could start over?" Al Gore suggested as the ending credits scrolled up. "Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?" "End Program, Magic Voice...." * * * As the Jeopardy set faded away, Tom, Crow and Joel were giggling themselves silly over their program. Joel had a silly grin on his face as he faced Cambot and reached into his pocket. "Okay, we hope you all enjoyed that sketch as much as we did creating it. We've got a letter here to read from Cathryn and she writes...." Crow stopped laughing and stared at the piece of paper. "Katherine? KATHERINE!?" "Um, no, Crow," Joel said. "Cathryn. C-A-T-H-R-Y-N. Not Katherine." "Oh," Crow replied, and his voice dropped to a mumble. "I bet it was really ANJ...." *I just wanted to tell you how much I've been enjoying your MiSTings. (And for how long - I'm actually rather embarrassed that I haven't gotten around to offering feedback before now.) I'm fairly certain I've read all of them, even the ones in fandoms that I have no familiarity with. *pause* Which, until quite recently, was pretty much all of them, since I only got into anime in the past month or so, but I've really enjoyed rereading the 'Ranma 1/2' ones now that I can actually get most of the jokes. =) A couple of individual thoughts: "'California Dreaming': I've read this three times, and each time I come to the following conclusion: "This fic has *got* be a joke. This Shakari guy cannot be serious." Am I right? Or do I just have too much faith that there is goodness in the world? Either way, you handled it quite well, though your lack of Buffy viewage was made evident by dint of missing some fannish riffs (such as perhaps blaming the entire fic on the fact that, as any Buffy fan knows, *baaaad* things happen *every time* Buffy has sex). Otherwise, I love this MiSTing. "'A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic': Did you know that Sheep isn't the only author to utilize the charming "Kuno the rapist" plot device? I discovered *this* little fact while browsing the RRyaoi archive. I thought of your MiSTing right away, which enabled me to laugh instead of reaching through the computer and strangling to author. (I *like* Kuno.) Thank you for that. "Anything by Mike Rhea: I have actually had the line 'You're kawaii inside and out, no matter what you wear' stuck in my head, like one line from a song repeating itself over and over again, and not going away. It's so not fun. "'Ukyo Gets What She Deserves': Absolutely loved the scene with Joel and the bots waiting for Ukyo to actually *get* what she deserved, only to be bitterly disappointed. Hysterically funny. I also liked the rewrite of "Bohemian Rhapsody" - I sat at my computer and sang the whole thing to myself. I don't think I've ever done that with a fic song before. "Satellite of Hate: Oh, for fun. What a great idea. "I think that's about it, aside from thanking you for keeping at it for so long, and hoping that you're not planning on quitting anytime soon." =) -- Cathryn* "Thanks, Cathryn! We really appreciate the comments and very kind words! And don't worry, we have no intention of quitting anytime soon!" "Not if Dr. Forrester has anything to say about it...." Crow wisecracked. "Speaking of which, what do you think, sirs?" Joel said. * * * DEEP 13 "I think Cathryn has absolutely NOTHING to worry about, my three little musketeers!" Dr. Forrester replied with a self-satisfied grin. "Rest assured, the psychological beatings will continue until your morale crumbles like a Apple Betty Cake. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Until next time, Joel! Push the button, Frank... and for god's sake, button up your suit!" "I am a wicked man, indeed." TV's Frank replied seductively, his double breasted suit opened to reveal a pasty white chest as he placed a palm down on the button and gently tapped it with his other hand. ...AND THE MSTINGS CONTINUE... I hope you enjoyed this and C&C is very welcome. (megane67@home.com) Author's Notes: Hello again! This is my first full-length Yaoi lemon MSTing and I hope I did a good job of it. I haven't decided on my next project yet for sure but it'll probably be a non-lemon. I hope you enjoyed reading this and I'd be grateful if you'd take the opportunity to visit 'A MSTing For All Seasons' http://www.nabiki.com/mst, which was set up by my good friend Zoogz and contains revised versions of all of my previous MSTings, fanfics, and MSTing collaberations, as well as, 'The FFIRC MST Archive' and 'Zoogz's Annex'. I've been MSTing for over three years now and I want to thank each and every person who's send me words of support and encouragement and who have helped me throughout these last three years. I treasure every piece of fan mail I receive and I consider it a great honor that some people have dedicated their MSTings to me and tell me that I helped encourage them to start MSTing. To all of you, thank you from the bottom of my heart and I hope I can continue to inspire and make you laugh for a long time to come. :) I'd like to give personal thanks to Zoogz, who helped me with some in-depth C&C for this MSTing. He is a very funny and talented author and you can find his works at his new webpage http://www.nav.to/Zoogz including his Utena MSTing 'Ma Vie et Roses'. He is currently working on a new Ranma 1/2 crossover MSTing called 'Blood of Heroes' and an original fanfic called 'Point Source', both of them coming soon to a fanfiction archive near you! Also, I'd like to give personal thanks, once again, to Gary Kleppe, whose C&C and suggestions are always appreciated. I can't say enough nice things about this guy! :) If you haven't had a chance to check out his latest works 'The Ghost Prison' and 'For a Dying Friend', you can reach him at kleppe@mediaone.net or his new webpage at http://www.akane.org/gary/comics.html and I'm sure he'll be happy to send the story along to you. Finally I'd like to thank Katherine for writing 'I Want To Meet A Prince Like Dear Old Dad, Mom, Sis, Bro & Frisky' and giving me a lot of material to work with. I hope you're not offended. It's all meant in good fun. :) 'A MSTing for All Seasons' http://www.nabiki.com/mst Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/ Shizen's Versatile Home Page V3.0 http://svhp.webjump.com/ (Alternate site: http://www.tass.org/fanfic/MST3k/) SEASON ONE ------------------ 101- "GAMES" by Artemis (SM Lemon) 102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (Original Draft) by Oscar (SM Lemon) 103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA" by The Flashman (SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER) 104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic) w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin (R1/2 Fanfic) 105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic) 106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson (Nuku Nuku Fanfic) 107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton (La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover) 108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic) 109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky (SM/WWF Crossover) w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon (SM/RL Crossover) 110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER CHRISTMAS" by Dr. Thinker (SM Christmas Fanfic) SEASON TWO ------------------- 201- "THAT GIRL" PT. 1-2 by Oscar (SM Lemon) 202- "VIRGIN WARRIOR SAILOR MOON" by Umino (SM Lemon) 203- "*R*P*M*" by Flynn (SM/SPAWN Crossover) 204- "RANKO'S LIFE" PT. 1-2 by Hitomi Ichinohei (R1/2 Fanfic) 205- "TRAPPED" by Mr_Jazz (SM Lemon) 206- "OSCAR TOON" PT. 1-4 by Oscar (SM/DBZ/WB Crossover) 207- "CALIFORNIA DREAMING" by Shakari (Mutiple Crossovers) 208- "A RANMA 1/2 FANFIC" PT. 1-2 by Sheep (R1/2 Fanfic) 209- "TRIANGLE TANGLE" by CATS (SM Lemon) 210- "THE KIDNAPPING" PT. 1-2 by SMendou (UY Lemon) SEASON THREE ---------------------- 301- "A WET DREAM COME TRUE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Lemon) 302- "TORTURED ECHO" PT. 1-4 by Trakal (R1/2 Fanfic) 303- "RANMA KILLS!" PT. 1-2 by Sir Asayogure (R1/2 Fanfic) 304- "OKONOMIYAKI SUMMER" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic) w/short "UNDER THE MISTLETOE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic) 305- "XMAS SPECIAL: A CHRISTMAS FIT FOR A POKEMON" by Dr. Thinker (Pokemon Christmas Fanfic) 306- "9-BALL DREAMS" PT. 1-2 by Mr_Jazz (SM Crossover Lemon) 307- "WINTER" by Joseph Palmer (R1/2 Fanfic) 308- "UKYO GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES" PT. 1-2 by R_Vincent (R1/2 Lemon) 309- "I WANT TO MEET A PRINCE LIKE DEAR OLD DAD, MOM, SIS, BRO & FRISKY!" by Katherine (Utena Lemon) SHORTY! ------------- 101- SUBLIMINALLY SEDUCE WOMEN INSTANTLY! 102- THE UGLIEST WOMEN ON THE NET! 103- PHEROMONES! 104- THE INTERNET SPY AND YOU!! OTHER MSTINGS I'VE CONTRIBUTED TO --------------------------------------------------------- "DIMISIONAL TROUBLE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic) "MOONDUSTED" by Stephen Ratliff (SM/TNG Crossover) Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/ "THE COUNTESS CHRONICLES" by Lin Lin (SM Dark Lemon) "9 1/2 CHIPMUNKS" by Toon Dreams (Rescue Rangers Yaoi Lemon) Lefty's MSTings http://lefty.simplenet.com/MSTings/index.htm 'MYSTERY WRESTLING THEATER 3000', POST 105: DOUBLE TROUBLE! (Two interviews with the Ultimate Warrior and '3:16 Rulzs!' by Oracle) Website Number 9 MSTings http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml "THE DAY OF EMERGANCE" by Jeffrey Lee (Ranma 1/2/Eddings/SM Crossover) Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page http://www.akane.org/gary/comics.html OTHER GREAT WEBPAGES WORTH VISITING Zoogz's Fanfiction and Fandom Page http://www.nav.to/Zoogz The Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot"Wong http://www.anime.sobhrach.com\~jeffwong\index.html 'SuicideBlast' by: Keener http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/3342/Suicide.html Additional links for Keener's stuff -- http://tmffa.com/ -- http://www.redrival.com/myrriden/index.html Flashman's Flash Point http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/3105/ JOLT!!! http://users.uniserve.com/~xwing/ Website Number 9 MSTings http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml Lord Carnage's Cursed Fanboys Page! http://carnage.fanfic.org A Sailor Moon Romance http://moonromance.simplenet.com/ Zen's Fanfiction Page http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html Webdragon's Lair http://members.tripod.com/~WebDragon/ Sean Gaffney's Webpage http://www.thekeep.org/~sean/index.html ">"Eep!" Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 2000 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Keep Circulating the Fanfics....