(The future isn't what it used to be....)
"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON TWO)
EPISODE 16: OSCAR TOON PT. 1
(A Sailor Moon/Warner Brothers/Dragon Ball Z MSTing)
MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7
This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are
the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering
my own ass here folks....
"Sailor Moon" is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the
distributors of her work.
"Tiny Toons" and the "Warner Brothers" characters are the property of
Steven Speilburg and Warner Brothers and all the distributors of their
"Dragon Ball" is the property of Akira Toriyama and all the
distributors of his work
"Oscar Toon" is the property of Oscar and he's welcome to it.
I do not
intend to offend this person for making fun of his/her work like this but
I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think
of this as another form of C&C. ;)
Warning: This fic contains mature content. If you are offended
material, simply delete it and it's gone. If not, enjoy!
(Cue "Mystery Science Theater 6.7 Love Theme" in 5... 4... 3....)
It's the not-too-distant future,
Last Sunday BC
There was this guy named Joel
Not so different from you or me
He worked at Gizmonic Institute
Just another guy in a red jumpsuit
He did a great job cleaning up the place,
But his bosses really hate him
So they shot him into space!!!!
(OH... MY... GODDESS!!!)
Crow and Tom:
(Instead of holding messed up video, Frank's holding a computer printout)
We'll send him crappy fanfics
The worst we can find (lalala)
He'll have to sit and read them all and we'll monitor his mind (lalala)
(Instead of where it shows the guys watching the movie, it shows them
ducking behind their seats for 'Artemis's Lover'.)
Now keep in mind Joel can't control
When the fanfics begin or end (lalala)
Because he used those special parts
To make his robot friends;
ROBOT ROLL CALL:
'I'm not a hentai!'
If your wondering how Joel eats and breathes
And other science facts (lalala)
Then repeat to yourself
*It's just a MiST*
You should really just relax
for MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7!!!!
Magic Voice: LAST TIME ON MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7....
* * *
Dr. Forrester turned to the viewscreen. "Oh yes! Very
amusing skit there, Joel. And speaking of rocking your world, it's
time for you to witness the horror that is *Oscar Toon*!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Send them the fanfic, Frank...."
"Yes, Dr. F...." Frank replied calmly as he slowly walked
towards the filing cabinet and rummaged through it, all the while
drooling like an toothless infant. He found it a few moments later
and slowly walked over to Dr. Forrester to hand him the fanfic.
"Good job, Frank. Why don't you lie down now for a little
while and give your surgical scars time to heal up...." Dr. Frank
said gently as he guided his assistant in the direction of his room.
"What did you do to him?" Tom inquired aloud.
"Why, I gave him a pre-frontal lobotomy, of course!" Dr.
Forrester replied matter-of-factly. When he saw the shocked and
dismayed looks from Joel and the bots, he shrugged. "I'm an evil
scientist. You don't earn that honor by being a pussy. Besides, Frank
signed the proper forms, he doesn't have a say in the matter anymore!"
Dr. Forrester added before sending the Oscarfic through.
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
"Boy that Dr. F is one mean, son of a mamajama...." Joel
muttered as he put the Quake 6.7 box away.
"Ah, Frank's survived worse and Dr. F can't keep him like
that forever. He'll be back to normal before too long...." Crow replied.
"Yeah, if there's one thing Frank's proved over the years, it's
that he's a Timex. He can take a licking and keep on ticking...." Tom
"Well guys, the Oscarfic will be here any minute. You
ready?" Joel asked his robot friends.
"As ready as we'll ever be...." Crow replied.
"No guts, no glory...." Tom replied.
Joel smiled down at his creations. "That's the way, guys.
Together, there's nothing we can't overcome. Not even an...."
Suddenly, alarms and sirens suddenly rang out.
"OHHHH, WE'VE GOT OSCARFIC
SIGN!!!" Joel cried out.
Magic Voice: AND NOW, THE CONCLUSION....
(Door 6: It slides open on both sides..)
(Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you
(Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.)
(Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling..)
(Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and
touches the door. The door vanishes.)
(Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.)
(Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk
Joel emerged from the light
into the theater with Tom in his arms,
Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping
over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his
own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to
him, Crow sitting on his right.
>Sailormoon Z Episode 14 "Oscar toon?"
Tom: 14!?!?! ARRRRRRRRRRGHHH!!!!!!
(Tom's head explodes with a flash of pyrotechnics and a shower of sparks)
Joel: <rolls his eyes> Tom, it's way too early for that!
Crow: Yuck! He's all over the floor!
Joel: We're in a theater. I doubt anyone will notice the difference.
>Written by Oscar "Artemis's Lover"
Crow: There's only one.
Tom: <coughing as smoke rises from his bubbledome> Thank goodness....
Crow: Let's not and say we didn't.
Joel: With all the flames he gets, it's no wonder he uses hotmail.
>Important note: For those of u who haven't read my last 14 fanfics,
Crow: U are one lucky SOB....
Tom: Congratulations! You're not blind!
Joel: You've probably missed it on purpose.
>let me make clear some things.
Tom: <Nixon> Let me make one thing perfectly clear....
Joel: That'll be the day....
Crow: ...when pigs fly....
Tom: ...in a frozen hell.
>1st Beleive it or not, i AM a real life Herm,
Joel: Somehow I doubt anyone's going to want to confirm that fact.
Crow: Get Ripley on the phone! He'll believe it!
Tom: Or not.
>2 i'm 13 (14 from "That girl" and on, but in real life i'm still 13,
Tom: ...snowflakes short of a blizzard?
Crow: ...cards short of a full deck?
Joel: <Oscar, singing> I am 13, going on 14....
>3 Artemis is now a 14 girl,
Tom: ...and that's just the first string!
Crow: Artemis turned into a harem?
Joel: Does Ataru Moroboshi know about this?
>with her respective crescent moon on the forehead,
Joel: Artemis turned into Sailor Moon?
Crow: Either her or Sailor Marissa.
Tom: <shudders> Don't go there, Crow.
>and white hair,
Tom: So Artemis is no longer a cat? Great! That means no
bestiality scenes! WOO HOO!!!
Crow: So what? I'll bet Oscar, the happy hermaphrodite, hasn't
down his ego....
Joel: *Happy hermaphrodite*?
>still with blue eyes,
Joel: Ol' blue eyes is back.
Crow: Oh, Frank! How could you!
>and she doesn't live with Mina, but with me
Tom: Next time on Jerry Springer, hermaphrodites and the young girls
that love them....
Crow: Knowing Springer, he'd probably bring out the fathers of the
girls too. Then you'd see some *REAL* fistfights!
>(Read first my first fanfic ever "Artemis's Lover") OK?
Tom: Not for all the ram chips in the universe, buddy.
Crow: Been there, done that, puked hard.
>Notes: Well even if Eiji DID infact died, there's no reason that evil
>has died too,
Crow: This fic is living proof of that.
Joel: Eiji? Isn't he a fighter from Battle Arena Toshinden?
Tom: After the BAT anime bombed, Eiji's career hit rock bottom as he
was forced to work as an extra in an Oscarfic....
Joel: Sad, really.
>something strange is happening a unknown life form is coming from
Crow: <Rod Serling> A dimension of sight and sound and cat loving
Tom: You are about to enter... THE OSCAR ZONE.
All: Do do do do... do do do do... do do do do....
>and who knows..what will happen now.
Tom: <deep voice> ...the Shadow knows....
Joel: The future isn't what it used to be....
Crow: Oscar, on the other hand....
Tom: In an Oscarfic? Yeah, right.
>"So...this is earth. So beautiful...and it'll soon be destroyed..."
Crow: A public service message from Greenpeace.
>A grown man's voice said, inside a glowing red sphere,
Crow: <man> Help! Let me out! I can't breathe in this thing! Mommy!
Joel: Oh, act your age! You're a grown man now.
Tom: A desperate Santa Claus trapped Herbie the Misfit Elf in a giant
red Christmas Tree Ornament....
>it approached the earth slowly.
Tom: <deep voice> Slowly it turned... Inch by inch... step by step....
Crow: Joel, why is it every alien race or object that tries to attack
always moves so slowly? Why can't they move at the speed of light and
wipe us out in a few seconds?
Joel: Well, It's like this. The aliens underestimate the human
need our planet for it's natural resources and it gives a bunch of actors
valuable screen time to advance their sagging careers!
Crow: Oh. I thought it was because Spielberg has a deal with them
portray aliens as soft and cuddly so we'll be unprepared when they arrive
to wipe us out....
Joel: You've been hanging around USENET too long....
>The man then came out of the darkness and he said to his assistant
Joel: <singing> Sweet Kaoline....
Crow and Tom: <singing> Sweet... Kao... line....
>the woman named Kaoline appeared and saluted him "Yes master?"
Tom: <man> GET ME THE HELL OUT OF THIS SPHERE!!!
Crow: <Kaoline> I can't do that sir. Not until we drop it through
hole and see if it can withstand the pressure....
>the man then turned around to her with a wicked smile "You know
>what to do,"
Crow: <Kaoline> Not till you show me the money, honey.
>Kaoline grinned and disappeared "Yes master".
Tom: She went to the city to star in her own sitcom for NBC.
Joel: <Daddy-O> I want an answer!
Crow: I've often wondered.
Tom: Maybe if Ralph Balski or Harry Crumb drew it....
>Serena and Luna where in the bathroom,
Tom: How should we know? You're the author! You're supposed
tell us for crying out loud!
>Serena's silk skin now shiny from the warm water that stroke her gently,
Joel: Shiny silk skin? What is she made of? Velour?
Tom: Yes, it's the future of shower massage: Stroking Water!
Crow: <slyly> Exactly what would it be stroking?
>Luna never saw Serena THIS hot...
Joel: ...since the last time Luna flushed the toilet when she was taking
Crow: <Serena> EYOWWWWW!!!! Luna no baka!!!
>well legally i mean he he :P,
Crow: Go stick that tongue where the sun don't shine!
Tom: I think he already did.
>and she finally managed to speak "Umm Serena"
Joel: <Usagi> Huh? EEEEEK!!! PERVERT!!! GET OUT OF MY
SHOWER RIGHT NOW!!!
>Serena looked down to her "Yes deary"
Tom: ...and your little dog, too!
Crow: Once upon a midnight weary, mine eyes red, burned and teary,
I came upon a lemon, leery, and fainted from my own inquiry....
Joel: Cute, Crow....
>Serena picked Luna and held her closely,
Tom: <Serena> There there, deary.
>Luna blushed a little for seeing her lover's breast,
Crow: Oh man! First it was Artemis and Oscar, now it's Serena
Luna! WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?!?
Joel: Calm down guys! They aren't at lemon stage yet.
Tom: Joel, they're naked and hugging in the shower! They're
practically there already!
Joel: Stay frosty....
Crow: What are you, Tony the Tiger?
>and said "Don't u think it's been a little quiet lately?" Serena smiled
Joel: <Serena> Too quiet, deary.
Crow: <Serena> I don't pay you to think, deary.
>"Yes Luna, but enjoy it while it lasts, maybe we'll meet a new enemy
Tom: If there's a god, it'll be Flynn from *R*P*M*....
Crow: Oh man, that'd be an awesome crossover! I can picture Flynn
hurling his spiky balls, chunkifying Oscar's....
>or something may come up",
Tom: Yeah, like our lunches.
>Luna then sighed and said under her breath "I will Serena".
Joel: Then, by the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you sickos!
Crow: Now they can tie some *tennis* to the back of their car....
>Luna then leapt out of her arms and almost slipped in the floor,
Crow: <Luna> Whoa! Where did this gaping hole come from?!?
Tom: <Bugs Bunny> Oops, sorry about that, doc!
>as she thought "Ough...first time bath isn't so bad is it?".
Joel: And she's been avoiding it all these years....
Crow: <Luna> Hey! My fur's white again!
>Artemis and Oscar where breathing a lil fast,
Tom: A marathon in San Francisco? How should we know where they
Joel: The author should really keep better track of his characters....
Crow: Can't really blame them for trying to flee, this being an Oscarfic
>they hugged each other feeling their warmth,
Crow: You know guys, even though Artemis is supposed to be a girl
now, I still feel ill....
Tom: I'm with him, Joel.
Joel: Hang tough, guys. We can get through this.
>"Oscar...uhmmm, thank you..", Artemis said with her eyes closed,
Joel: <Artemis> Is it over yet?
Crow: <Artemis> Can I have my money now?
>Oscar smiled at her and kissed her forehead, and left her in the bed.
Crow: <Oscar> You stay there and don't even think about chewing on
my *tennis* or *putting* on my undies!
Tom: Love em and leave em Oscar strikes again!
>He then went to the bathroom and came out with his WF shirt on,
Tom: Weird Freak?
Crow: Whipped Felicia?
Joel: Wicked Fart?
Crow: Wretched Fool?
Joel: Wants Felines?
Tom: Why Frogned?
>and crawled into the bed with his love,
Crow: Oh, and Artemis was there too.
Tom: <Barry White> Can't get enough of your love, babe....
Joel: Good Barry White, Tom!
>and finally doze off to sleep.
Crow: Sleep no more! Artemis shall sleep no more!
>Meanwhile, in the red glowing sphere,
Crow: He's dead, Jim.
>Kaoline sat in her comp.
Tom: Maybe the MCP pulled her into the system?
Crow: Oh well. She's better off playing the game and dying plain.
>and looked at Oscar's stats
Tom: <Kaoline> Let's see... good height... average weight... Oh yuck!
There's NO way I'm cybering with a cat loving hermaphrodite!
>"Hmmm so he is the last of the Saiya-Jins...
Crow: No wonder they're dying out.
>good he'll be terminated NOW!" she pressed a red button,
All: <start humming the MST3K Love Theme>
>and a youma was sent to earth, but it was a little dif, than the other
Joel: What's the dif?
Crow: I can't see the dif? Can you see the dif?
>a white beam followed it
All: <singing> Really Really White... It's really, really, really,
>, the white beam silently stroke Oscar's body
Tom: Yes, from the people that brought you *Stroking Water*, now
you can *really* relax when you curl up in your favorite chair to read a
book while our *Stroking Light* gives you the best massage of your
Crow: <slyly> I'd still like to know what exactly is being stroked....
Tom: The breast?
>and vanished him and the youma inside the TV world.
Tom: Stayed tuned for further developments.
Crow: Oh good, while he's in there he can search for the survivors
from Kidd Video....
Joel: Even the Master Blaster wouldn't want Oscar for a musical slave.
>Oscar's Saiya-Jin sence didn't warned him about the beam.
Tom: Mainly, because he didn't have an ounce of *sense*.
Joel: The sence was enjoying the stroking beam too much.
>The Youma and Oscar landed on dif sides of the new dimension
Crow: What's the dif?
Tom: One side's the third, the other's the fifth? How the hell should I know?!?
Joel: Oscar's doing his bit to conserve internet bandwidth by compressing
the word "difference" into "dif."
Joel: Don't know.
Tom: Care less.
Crow: Go hell.
>Oscar woke up and gasped as he was falling from high above,
Joel: But the little bushman didn't know what to make of the
Crow: From high above the city, it's a bird... no, it's a plane... no,
Tom: Quick, Oscar, flap your arms!
>he tryed to float in the air like he does
Crow: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!
Joel: What does he think he is, an Oni?
Tom: Nah, he wasn't horny enough.
>but none of that worked,
Crow: ...so he splattered all over the pavement at Mach 3, The End.
Joel: Wishful thinking.
Tom: <Oscar> Damn it! My dealer told me I'd be flying with
this stuff for at least another hour!
>he tryed to do a Kame-Hame-Ha but it was to small to make him float,
Crow: <Oscar> Ah crap, of all the Hawaiian kings out there,
I get stuck
with the one on Slim-fastttttttt....
>finally he smashed into the cold cold ground.
Tom: <Taz> Why for you want to bury Oscar in the cold, cold ground?!
Joel: Let us now have a moment of silence for our friend Oscar and his
Joel: Thank you.
Tom: <sniffs> That was beautiful... and somehow appropriate.
Crow: But is he on fire yet?
>Oscar slowly stood up and thought "Wha...? i'm alive?"
Joel: And so are the hills, with the sound of music!
Crow: Hope they all find some Nazis.
>He then looked around and saw that everything was animated
Tom: He's fallen into Cool World?
Crow: All right! Bring on Kim Basinger!
Joel: Even Holli *wouldn't* with Oscar....
>he thought as he was in the middle of the street and all of the cars
>where beeeping at him
Crow: The censors for this fic had to put in overtime.
Tom: <motorist> Hey you <beep> Get your <beeping beep beep>
your <beep> and <beep> before I <beep> your <beeping beep beep>!!!
Joel: Should that be *[Unprintable]* *[Unprintable]* *[Unprintable]*?
Crow: Only in a Flashman fic.
>"Hey get outta the road!! you bum!" Oscar turned around and saw
>none other than Yosemite sam!
Tom: Moments later, the goofy meter blew sky high.
Crow: <Yosemite Sam> Great hornytoads! It's one of them gosh
hermowhatyamacallits!!! You're coming with me, varmint!
Tom: <deep voice> YOU RANG?
>he realized he was in Looney Tune/Tiny toon land
Tom: And the sound of Disney breathing a long sigh of relief could be
heard in the distance....
Crow: Yeah, after they finished laughing their asses off.
Joel: Time-Warner's buying up everything. They even own Oscar now!
Tom: *HIM* they can have!
>but he didn't knew if he was still a Saiya-Jin or not,
Joel: He should really *knew* better than that....
Crow: <Oscar> I *knowed* it but I *helded* my tongue.
>so he immediatelly searched for a mirror,
Joel: He's so vain, he needs to know if he's still the fairest of them all.
Crow: Five will get you ten that he'll have no reflection....
Tom: <Oscar> Seven years bad luck! That's what I need right
>and looked to himself,
Joel: <Oscar> Hmmm, now what would I do if I were placed in
>"No way...ha ha ha ha!!"
Crow: He's become The Joker!
>He went a lil nutty as he saw he was a 14 year old skunk.
Crow: Boy, talk about irony.
Joel: <gives the ok sign with his fingers> He stinks!
Tom: Shouldn't he have turned into a squirrel if he went a lil nutty?
Crow: Nah, he'd need bigger nuts!
>He had a big fat smile on his face,
Tom: That's right! We've got fat goofy smiles, we've got
lipped, smiles, we've got smiles of all shapes and sizes! So come on
down to the 'Nuku Nuku School of Smiling'!
Crow: <Nuku Nuku> Remember kids, we don't show you how to
smile... you show us.
Joel: Heh, that's cute.
>and laughed out loud "A ha ha ha!!! i can't believe it! ha ha ha"
Tom: <Oscar> All this time I've been a furry green muppet and I never
ever knew! Guess the joke's on me!
>but then, he tought
Crow: ...the theory of relativity?
Tom: ...the relationship between energy and matter?
Joel: ...he saw a bad old putty tat?
>"Wait a min....how did i got here?...
Crow: Kidnapped he got by badly dubbed kidnapper guy type.
Joel: Billy Quan's gonna teach Oscar some manners.
Tom: <Badly-dubbed Billy Quan voice> You wight self-insertion fanfic!
Now you must DIE!
Joel: Kids! Be like Billy!
>and how do i get back?..."
Joel: <singing> Get back to where you once belonged....
Crow: <singing> Back in the U.S.S.R....
Tom: <singing> You know if you break my heart I'll go, but I'll be
>He then took a walk, having that same sequence in his mind,
Crow: <Oscar> Let's see... Shampoo, rinse, screw... Shampoo, rinse,
screw... Shampoo, rinse....
Tom: <Shampoo> Aiya....
>then suddenly 3
Joel: <singing> ...kings of Orient are...
Crow: <singing> ...tried to smoke a rubber cigar....
Tom: <singing> ...it was loaded, it exploded... heh heh heh....
Crow: There's your *BOOOMSHACALAKA*, Oscar.
>"I know! in that movie Space jam,
Joel: Oh yeah! That multimillon dollar shameless exploitation
Warner Brothers to sell more McDonald's crapola!
Tom: Hey, it wasn't nearly as exploitive as... "THE WIZARD".
Joel: That's true.
Crow: <whiny kid> CALIFORNIA!!!
Tom: <tough kid> I love the Power Glove... It's *SO* bad....
Joel: Uh, guys?
Tom: <annoying girl> HE TOUCHED MY BREASTS!!!
Crow: <announcer> IT'S SUPER MARIO BROTHERS... THREE!!!
Joel: Guys! Can we get back to the MSTing now please?
Tom: Oh! Sorry about that Joel, just reminiscing....
Joel: Jeez, it's almost like you guys are from Canada or something....
>Mike Jordan was pulled from the sky i think...out of a big WB sign"
Tom: And the WB network cancels yet another cartoon show....
Joel: <Earthworm Jim> Join the club, pal.
>He then looked up to the sky and there it was "Whoa, there it is, the
Crow: <Jimmy Durante> He's under a big dubbleya bee!
>all i hafta do is get up there and i'm outtie!"
Tom: ...of his mind?
Joel: *Outtie*... Must be an Oscar-ism.
>he grinned and then re-thought "But wait a min...there's still a lotta
>things to do here he he he"
Joel: <singing> He's got a lotta living... to do.....
Tom: Like writing his manifesto....
Crow: <Oscar> i refuse to leave this world until i've screwed it
up in every possible way! Characterization! Plot development!
Continuity! THEY ALL MUST DIE!!! He he he!
>He remembered how much he wished that someday, some how
>he could be here and do so much stuff.
All: <Weird Al Yankovic> He's got the white stuff... baby....
>"Alright! now i can meet Babs and Buster B. no relation he he he"
Crow: Yep. No relation to Oscar whatsoever.
Tom and Joel: <Buster and Babs> Thank goodness....
>he then was about to run to the Acme Looniversity, but he looked
>straight and made a DUH face,
Crow: Witness yet another of the many talents of Oscar.
Tom: Well, buh! Anybody can do that!
Joel: Nobody does it quite like him, though.
All: <singing> And... nobody doessss... it betterrrrr....
>as the Looniversity was right in front of him
Joel: <Oscar> Duh, i thought it was right under my nose, he he he!
>"DUH there it is...i wonder if there's someone inside..depends if it's
Joel: To recap: Duh.
Tom: <Oscar> Duh, i hate school day! Must crush school!
school day! He he he!
Crow: If the Looniversity is anything like Oscar's school from 'That
Girl', he'll have no problems....
Joel: At least a twenty hour school day makes *sense* in Loony Toon
>he climbed the steps as his "unique" odor killed literally all of the
Crow: OH MY GOD! HE KILLED THE PETUNIAS!!!
Tom: Poison Ivy is not amused!
Joel: Guess those flowers won't be presenting The King of Cartoons
>he looked back and chuckled "Oh yeah i remember that gag"
Crow: <Garfield> People that write puns like that should be
strapped to the cold table at the vet, with Nermal bouncing on their
stomach, and forced to listen to all 4,444 volumes of Binky's Greatest
Hits before being dragged out into the street to be shot....
Joel: Hey, a pun is its own reword.
Tom: <The Brain> Quiet Joel, or I shall have to hurt you.
>he got inside the Looniversity and took left corridor,
Tom: Go west, young hermaphrodite!
Joel: Where the air is fresh... the stray dogs plentiful....
>Gogo-Dodo, the hall monitor came up from behind and yelled "GOGO
Tom: WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU! WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU!
Crow: MONSTER-A! MONSTER-A!
Crow and Tom: Huh?
Joel: Andrew Lloyd Webber reference.
Crow and Tom: Oh.
>if yer late for class yer.."
Tom: The role of Gogo Dodo will now be played by the Swedish Chef.
Crow and Joel: BORK! BORK! BORK!
>Oscar then smiled and they both said at the same time
Tom: Third base?
Crow: They need Cocoa Puffs and they need em now!
>he laughed out loud and Gogo-Dodo was a lil bewildered,
Tom: <Gogo> That's a nono! He must be loco! Don't wanna
be in this
>so he smashed himself with a mallet and disappeared,
Crow: If only we could be so lucky....
Joel: Where did Gogo learn to summon hammerspace?
>Oscar stood up and found a door that said "Class 101" or sumthing,
Joel: Better enroll quick, Oscar. Before your spelling and grammar
Tom: <singing> Sumthing tells me i'm into sumthing bad....
Crow: <Oscar> Duh, i betta get meself a edjumecation!
>"Hmmm i wonder what's in there?" he said sarcastically, he stood up
>in his heels to take a peek,
Crow: Oscar wears pumps? Who woulda thought?
Tom: Me! Me! I would!
>and smiled as he saw, Buster and DA gang
Crow: District Attorney?
Joel: Dyslexics Anonymous?
Tom: DA Bulls?
>inside with tech, Elmer fudd
Tom: Having failed as a wabbit hunter, Fudd found a promising caweer
Crow: <Fudd> Do you want to make mowe money? Suwe, we AWW do!
Joel: <Fudd> Wight then, now which battewy should I use in my wight
to fix the wadio? I need the wight to see the wight wire to wip out and
Tom: And you thought *your* English class was a nightmare?
>Fifi had a lil magazine under her desk,
Joel: <Fudd> No weading in cwass!
>Babs was sleeping,
Joel: <Fudd> No sweeping in cwass!
>Buster was making a lil joke letter,
Crow: <Buster writing> Dear Mr. Fudd. I am a gweat admirwer
wish to meet you awone after school. Sincewey, Wightous babe.
>Plucky was with his walkman on,
Joel: <Fudd> No wistening to Wock Music duwing cwass!
I told aww
of you this befowe! Don't you Wisten? Can't you understand pwain
>Shirley with her "HO WAYU WAYU WAYU" stuff,
Tom: Like, the hell!?!
Crow: Like, Shirley's really wayu wayu wayu out there....
Joel: <Fudd> Wike, read my rips... No mowe new age cwap in my cwass!
>and Max making money sketches.
Tom: Kinda gives new meaning to the phrase, 'Show me the money'
Crow: <Max> Yes, once Warner Brothers goes bankrupt and I buy
them out, Buster and Babs will be on the streets and then it'll be
"THE MONTANA MAX SHOW!!!" BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
>Suddenly, Oscar opened the door lightly and yelled "YOU SSSUCK!"
Crow: <Fudd> I am wubber, you awe gwue!
Joel: <Fudd> Oh weally!?! Well, At weast I don't have a stuttwewing
>he immediately closed the door and laughed out loud in the hall,
Joel: <Oscar> He he he!
Crow: Fortunately, there were some Kids in the Hall that crushed his
skull with their fingers....
>Elmer obviosly got mad and went out,
Joel: <Fudd> Be vewwy vewwy quiet. I'm hunting hewmaphwodites!
>but Oscar made his move
Tom: The dreaded Fritz Gambit!
>and entered the classroom just as Elmer went out,
Joel: Must be one of those new classrooms with the revolving doors.
>and sat at Buster's side, and of course Fifi immediately went lovesick,
>her eyes turned to hearts, and her attention only directed to Oscar,
Tom: And another poor soul falls under the evil spell of self-insertion....
Joel: They should have a support group for everyone's who suffered the
agony of self-insertion.
Crow: Nah, a revengefic is quicker... More fun, too!
>she was about to literally pounce over Oscar,
Tom: Fifi was a silver medal contender for Hermaphrodite Jumping in
the '94 Winter Olympics....
>when Elmer came back inside scratching his bald head,
Joel: <Fudd> Now, where did I weave my toupee?
Crow: Shouldn't he use something to hold it on? I mean,
he has his
own brand of glue....
>"I wunda what that was? ok wets get to cwass",
Tom: <Plucky> We're already in cwass, you mutant doorknob!
>Buster looked at Oscar and wondered why he didn't smelt like Fifi,
Crow: Especially considering what he did earlier to those poor flowers....
>Oscar looked at him and smiled with a peace sign,
All: <Don Cornelius> Peace, love and soul!
Tom: So, how can you give a peace sign with your mouth?
Joel: Nimble gums.
>Buster replied with the same hand gesture a lil bewildered,
Joel: <Buster> What's this *Little Rabbit Foo Foo* crap?!?
Tom: <Buster> Strange... he didn't ask who I was? How can I
do my no-relation bit with Babs if he doesn't ask my name?!?
>the class went on,
All: And ON and ON and ON and ON....
Joel: Why Elmer never went after the Energizer bunny, I'll never know.
Tom: Hey guys, We gotta go....
Joel: Perfect timing. I have to stretch my legs anyway....
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
Joel and the bots were lounging around the bridge.
"Hey, Joel...." Crow suddenly spoke up. "If you had
to visit any animated world you wanted, where would you go?"
"Hmmmm...." Joel considered Crow's question for a moment.
"When I was a kid, I would have done pretty much anything to be
Spiderman from the old 60's series...."
The bots suddenly burst out laughing. "What?" Joel
defensively. "It was a cool show for it's time! Especially the theme
"Come on, Joel! That series reused scenes and plots like
crazy! How many times can you watch Spiderman swing past the
same buildings with the same camera angles!" Tom pointed out.
"Well, I still like it!" Joel shot back. "Spiderman
had the entire city to himself, just swinging along on his webshooters,
seeing the buildings woosh by, the traffic beneath him, Sticking to any
wall he wanted and then leaping off to swing somewhere else. I
thought that was cool, so sue me!"
"Well, I guess that's sort of cool." Tom replied.
always wanted to visit the old Dungeons and Dragons cartoon. To go
on quests and adventures and fight that five headed dragon with Hank,
Bobby, Sheila, Eric, Presto and Diana...."
"Oh yeah! I remember that one! Eric was such a wuss!
*Magic Shield!* Big whoop! Give me Diana's magic javelin or
Hank's bolt arrows, anytime...." Crow exclaimed.
"Yeah, sometimes I miss the old 80's cartoons. Granted,
lot of them were really hokey, but at least some had imagination...."
Joel remarked. "We oughta recreate some of them in the holocabana
one of these days. There are so many to choose from...."
"What about you, Crow?" Tom inquired. "What cartoon
world would you like to visit if you ever got the chance?"
"Well... uh...." Crow sounded nervous. "Actually,
I used to
really like a certain episode of Rainbow Brite...."
"WHAT?!?" Joel and Tom exclaimed in disbelief.
"...but only because it had the evil Monster Murk and his
attack was really cool!" Crow quickly added. "He used to stretch his
hands behind his head and power up before unleashing his color
draining energy rings... I thought it was cool... at the time."
"You're weird, Crow...." Tom shook his head.
"You know what 80's cartoon I really miss?" Joel remarked.
"Oh yeah...." Tom and Crow nodded.
"Everything about that cartoon was pretty cool...." Joel
continued. "Bravestarr's animal spirit powers... 30-30 and Sarah
Jane... that little deputy guy... I still don't know why Tex-Hex was so
afraid of a dead cow's head though...."
"I wish they'd bring it back... but it'd probably suck like the
new Speed Racer cartoon...." Tom replied sadly.
"Ugh... don't remind me...." Crow grimaced.
"Let's not forget a true classic either. The syndicated version
of *The Real Ghostbusters*." Joel remarked.
"Oh yeah! That was one of the coolest cartoons ever!"
exclaimed. "The ghosts, the weapons, the one-liners, the music, the
scripts, it was *awesome*!"
"It *was* awesome... at least until they started running those
crappy *Slimer* shorts that basically took over and ruined the whole
show. Bleah!" Tom grumbles.
"Oh yeah... almost forgot about that... but at least some of
them were good, better than most of what's on Saturday mornings
now...." Crow replied.
"Yep, those were the good old days...." Joel sighed wistfully.
"Well, you know, Joel, the 80's gave us some pretty *bad*
cartoons as well." Tom pointed out. "Let's not forget the horror that
was Hulk Hogan's Rock N' Wrestling...."
Joel shuddered. Then Crow spoke up. "And let us not
the unholy horror that was... THE SMURFS."
"Hah!" Tom sneered. "The smurfs were a walk in the
compared to... STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE!!!"
"Oh, dear god, no!" Joel cringed. "No more berry talk!
"Oh yeah?! What about RICHIE RICH!!!" Crow countered.
"Two words for you, Crow. YO... YOGI...."
"One word for you, Tom. SNORKS...."
"Guys! Please! No more! Let me have my pleasant
of the 80's...." Joel's plea was cut off as alarms and sirens suddenly
"OHHHH, WE'VE GOT OSCARFIC
SIGN!!!" Joel cried out.
TO BE CONTINUED IN OSCAR TOON PART 2....
Thus ends the first part of my first four part MSTing. I decided
this method and see how it goes. I figure four 25+ page parts will be
easier to read than two 45+ page parts. I've included the other three
parts along with this one. As with my other two part MSTings, There's
lots more to come in the second part so don't skip it or you'll only be
missing out on some great riffs. ;)