*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be....) "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON TWO) EPISODE 16: OSCAR TOON PT. 4 (A Sailor Moon/Dragon Ball Z/Warner Brothers Oscarfic MSTing) MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7 This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering my own ass here folks.... "Sailor Moon" is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the distributors of her work. "Tiny Toons" and the "Warner Brothers" characters are the property of Warner Brothers and all the distributors of their work. "Dragon Ball" is the property of Akira Toriyama and all the distributors of his work "Oscar Toon" is the property of Oscar and he's welcome to it. I do not intend to offend this person for making fun of his/her work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;) Warning: This fic contains mature content and a pinch of lemon. If you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If not, enjoy! (Door 6: It slides open on both sides..) (Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you move on..) (Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.) (Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling..) (Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and touches the door. The door vanishes.) (Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.) (Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.) Joel emerged from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right. Joel: Should we even bother trying to recap? Tom: Nah. Crow: Oscar's courting Fifi. Nuff said. >"Er, Oscar?" Fifi asked him with a lil voice tone, Joel: Voice tone? Is that like a Boss Tone? Crow: Mighty sure. Tom: At the sound of the voice tone the time will be 1:22 pm.... All: *BOOMSHACALAKA!!!* Tom: Thank you. >Oscar turned around and replied "Yes Feef?" Joel: HALT! FEEF! Tom: She's a feef of hearts... Someone please arrest her.... Crow: Where's ze Feef? >"Where do you live?", Oscar then sighed "Well i don't have an excact >place to spend my days...", Joel: Oscar the hermaphroditic skunk toiled away his years in a former cactus.... >Fifi then thought "YES!", and said "You can stay at my place while >you find somewhere to stay.." All: Crow: This must be where Megane 6.7 meant *a pinch of lemon*. Joel: Oh, well I'm sure Oscar wouldn't want to impose upon Fifi.... >Oscar smiled and agreed with her, they walked to her house Joel: ...uh, never mind. >(Dumped remodeled car actually), Tom: Oscar moved in with Riff Raff, Hector, Wordsworth and Mungo? Crow: Hey, don't forget that oh-so-fine, curvy feline, Cleo! Rrrrrrrrowl.... Tom: Hey, I wouldn't blame Oscar if he went after her. She was drawn so well and those leg warmers... Mmmmmm.... Joel: You know, you guys are starting to sound dangerously like Oscar.... (Crow and Tom bigsweat) >Fifi sat in the couch with Oscar, All: TOGGG!!! >they chatted of normal topics. "Oscar...why did you kissed me?" Tom: That's a normal topic? Joel: In a self-insert, yeah. Crow: Duh, I kiss animated females all the time, Skunklady. >Oscar cleared his throat "Believe it or not, Joel: ...Ripley. >i've known you for 3 years now, but i never had a chance to tell you >what i felt like" Tom: Like I'd rather... just... sing.... Crow: Stop that! Stop that! You're not gonna do a song while I'm here! Tom: So Oscar fell for an cartoon animal at the age of 10?!? Crow: He's not about to break the habit. Joel: Ugh. >Fifi looked puzzled "Huh? How can you know me if we just met >today?" Oscar grinned Tom: Get a clue, Fifi! He's been stalking you! Joel: i liked you since the moment i saw you. No one deserves you but me. He he he! Crow: Please don't do that. >"Let's just say i've seen you chase Furrball, Calamity Coyote and i >have witnessed when you got caught by Elmyra...that sucked" Crow: Fortunately, Mr. Skullhead acted as a character witness and Elmyra was incarcerated. Tom: It seemed like a *GOOD IDEA* but when he realized he was still attached to her hair and was imprisoned with her, it turned out to be a *BAD IDEA.* Joel: The End. >Fifi raised her eyebrows and tought "Whoa...he knows a lot about me..." Crow: Time to change ze locks again, no? >Oscar kept talking All: SSSSSSSSHUT UP!!! Thank you. >"The only bad thing is..i won't be here for long.." Fifi then blinked, Tom: Bluh-link! Crow: Ouch! Ze false eyelashes hurt! >as Oscar continued "I know...this has been the first time you've >kissed someone..and i'd love to stay...but" Joel: Duh, wherever there are innocent furry animals to be brainwashed into sex, you'll find me! Wherever there are fanfiction universes to screw with, I'll be there! Crow: Not since Judge Doom have the toons faced such a grave threat.... >Fifi putted her hands on his shoulders Crow: Yeesh, that's got to hurt. Joel: Fore! >"But what?!" Oscar closed his eyes "I'm not from this world... Crow: Now *there's* an understatement.... >i'm really a "Human".." Crow: And lord knows, he's certainly erred enough. Tom: To be like the hu-man! Joel: H... U... M... A... N.... >Fifi shook him a lil "I don't care!" Oscar then said "I'm a Herm.." Fifi >blinked, Joel: Mon dou! Ze stupid eyelashes are ze bane of my beauty! Tom: Like parenthesis, with hair. >but finally said "Even if you are a Herm, or a human" Crow: How about a Herman? >Oscar then parted her Tom: Oscar: Hermaphrodite Hairstylist. Joel: Duh, say miss, after I perm your hair, would you like me to groom your cat? No really, it's no trouble at all.... >"Fifi, understand this, i don't want to make a relation with you, and >then leave just like that" Crow: Duh, I want to make hot skunky love with you and *THEN* leave just like that! Tom: First things first.... Joel: Oscar B. Wilde, Fifi La Fume. No relation. >Fifi got closer to him and layed her head on his legs Crow: Hey! What's this strange thing between your... OH MY GOD!?!?! Joel: That's *one* way to find out his secret! >"Why do you have to leave...?" Oscar sighed sadly "I have to, my >friends are waiting for me, Crow: Ernie, Bert, Elmo, Cookie Monster, Big Bird, Snuffaluffagus.... Joel: Don't forget Slimy and Grongetta! >Artemis is waiting for me... Joel: Oh, *NOW* he thinks about Artemis.... >i can't leave them" Fifi finally let out a tear, Tom: Crow: Excuse moi, I had ze beans last night, no? >and started crying softly. Crow: Does one tear count as crying? Joel: Maybe she's doing an impression of Johnny Depp? Tom: Crybaby.... >Oscar felt bad for her, "But even if i have to leave, i'll at least make >you happy..." Fifi, still crying, said "What?" All: HE SAID BUT EVEN IF I HAVE TO LEAVE, I'LL AT LEAST MAKE YOU HAPPY!!! Crow: You mean you'll leave right now and never return? >Oscar lifted her face up Joel: Is Oscar licensed to perform cosmetic surgery? Tom: Calling Dr. Howard... Dr. Oscar... Dr. Howard.... >"But only if it's ok with you..", Fifi suddenly realized what he was >trying to say, Joel: That makes one of us.... Tom: Care to fill us in? Crow: Vu' are sicko! >"Please do...", Oscar closed his eyes "Ok then.." and he got closer to >her, finally embracing her in a passionate kiss, Fifi then turned the >lights off.... Tom: Oh, THANK YOU, Fifi! You have no idea how much I appreciate that! Crow: Yeah, but what if we can still hear it? Tom: ARGHHHH!!! >The next day,Oscar and Fifi went to school, Oscar had to avoid >security again (He he ain't i a stinga?), Joel: A what? Could we get someone to translate this into English, please? Crow: Maybe he means a stinger? Tom: Hey, that's out trademark! Get your own! >Fifi got to the classroom, but Oscar waited her outside. Tom: Duh, May I take your order, Miss? >Suddenly, someone yelled "Yo Oscie! think fast!" Crow: He can't! He's not on his feet! Tom: Zing! >a B.ball went directly to his face BBAAAAAM!!! Oscar got hit by it >and smashed into the ground Tom: Eh, how'd ya like that, doc? >"DO'H!", Crow: ...nuts! >"He he sorry Oscie, you ok?" the person said going to his side, Oscar >stood up with his face all reddened, Joel: Boy, is my face red.... >he looked and the person was Lola in her Levis-and "Looniversity" >shirt, spinning the B.ball on her finger, Crow: Oscar-ism #14: B.ball.... Tom: Levis must be *really* desperate to put a product placement in an Oscarfic.... Joel: Order a Looniversity T-shirt and Levis today and receive a free tennis, personally autographed by Oscar himself! Crow: Visit www.warner.toons/hermaphrodite/oscar.com for more information regarding these fine products! Tom: Like the Tickle-Me-Oscar Doll? Joel: Ugh... don't remind me.... >"Oh hi Lola...ough" Tom: Oscar spontaneously horked up a hairball. Crow: How did he get hair down his throat? Tom: ARGHHHH!!! Joel: Crow, stop it! Crow: Heh, bite me! >Lola giggled and helped him stand up, "So wanna play another 1 on 1?" >she asked with a smile, Tom: Incoming Lemon scene, gentlemen, THIS IS *NOT* A DRILL! REPEAT! THIS IS *NOT* A DRILL.... >"Ok, but be careful he he" Oscar grinned. Crow: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new champion! Joel: What do you mean? Crow: I just realized this fanfic broke the all time record for smiling! So far, this fanfic has 28 smiles and 12 grins making for a grand total of 40! This beats the previous record holder, *Transitions*, which had 29 smiles and 3 grins for a total of 32, not counting our smiling jokes of course.... Tom: Transwhat? Crow: Transitions! You know, the... oh... uh, forget I said anything. >They walked to the school gym, where Lola took off her jeans leaving >only her shorts, Oscar glazed to her well formed legs, Crow: Duh, you don't mind me spreading honey glaze all over your legs and licking it off, do ya? Tom: Not at all Oscie! Usually I'd cripple anyone that would even suggest such a perverted thing to me... but for some reason, I'm not bothered by it at all now! In fact, the thought even excites me! It's like I'm a completely different person! Joel: See Oscar. See Oscar write a self-insertion fanfic. Don't be an Oscar. >his eyes lighting up, Joel: He's got Betty Davis eyes. Crow: Maybe Oscar's a distant cousin of Trumpy? >when Lola said "Yo Oscie, c'mon" Oscar shook his head and tought >"No that could never happen..." and went to the court with her, Tom: Today, on a very special episode of Judge Judy.... >"Ready?" Lola said with a grin, they began playing, the gym was >locked up, so no one could enter, and they could have a private >game/talk, without prying ears, or hidden eyes, Crow: What about probing tongues? Joel: Crow... if you don't cut it out.... Tom: DANGER! DANGER! JOEL ROBINSON! MY HEAD IS APPROACHING CRITICAL MASS.... Joel: Stay frosty, Tommy-boy! >in one particular move, Lola jumped high above, as Oscar tripped and >fell below the hoop, he was flat on his back, Lola dunked the B.ball, >and it fell down, almost hitting Oscar in his crotch, but he didn't >noticed it, Tom: Yes, it's the latest in bad fanfiction, redundant commas! Joel: Damn, missed. >Lola fell and landed over Oscar, her legs spread apart as she sat right >in Oscar's crotch, of course, Oscar blushed immediately, as Lola was >on top of him, she smiled and said "I kinda like this position...don't >you?" Tom: I liked it a lot better when Lauren Holly and Jason Scott Lee did it in *Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story*. Crow: Oscar's ripped off everyone else, why stop now? Tom: Yeah, he could be an X-Files writer! >(OW mAN! she's hot!), Crow: Good. Maybe she'll burst into flames. Joel: Ouch. >Oscar had a funny little smile on his face and his clit let out a tiny >part of his juice, All: @_@ Tom: Critical Mass, CriTiCaL mAsS, CRIT--- (His head explodes in a flash of pyrotechnics) Crow: Bloobity, bloobity, bloobity! I LiKe sOCks, STeVe--- (His head explodes in a flash of pyrotechnics) Joel: MUST... retain... sanity! ARRRRRGH!!!! (His head throbs slightly but doesn't explode.) Gotta... put the bots... back together.... (Joel quickly pulls out a roll of duct tape and gets to work fixing Tom and Crow. When he is finished, he activates them.) Joel: Get together, guys! We *CAN* do this! Tom: Br-bring it on, Oscar! Crow: I... AM... READY TO RUUUMMMBBBBLE! Joel: Right! We're on the home stretch! Hang in there! >as Lola (Still in that position) got closer to his face, and whispered to >his ear "Are you up to it?..." Oscar gasped at this, and weakly said >"Ye-Yes....", Lola smiled seductively, as she took off her shirt.. Tom: Sproing! Crow: Duh, Whoa! *Those* are real! And they're spectacular! He, he, he... Joel: But in the heat of battle... Oscar's solider failed to salute.... >The B.Ball Youma was at the outstreaks of Acme city, Joel: A little glass cleaner'll take those right off. >"Oscar! i know you're close!" the Youma kept advancing Crow: He clawed his way to the top, trampling those foolish enough to get in his way.... Tom: The plot is on the way! Really! >A while later, Oscar and Lola were gasping for air, Crow: By this time, my lungs were aching for asbestos.... Joel: Cute, Crow.... >"I didn't knew you were a Herm...." Lola said a little exhausted, "I >didn't know you were a Virgin" Joel: I didn't know that was a lemon.... Tom: Yeah, I can't believe Oscar skipped the lemon scenes. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Thank you, Oscar! Thank you! Crow: It still put a lot of unpleasant images in my mind. Besides, how could Lola not know Oscar was a herm? Tom: Maybe Oscar wore pants as a skunk? >Oscar said smiling and still gasping, Tom: Duh, I need my inhaler! >Lola giggled lightly for that. Tom: The poor girl's gone loony... and I don't mean toons! Crow: Revenge is a dish best served cold, Oscie deary. For Felica was in fact... my half sister. And as the poison slowly spreads through your system, Artemis will be all mine and you will die as you have lived... as a two-timing skunk. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Joel: You watch too many soap operas, Crow. >*LATER* Tom: ...alligator. >Oscar took a mop, and cleaned the "Little mess" they did, Crow: Oscar learned too late that Lola wasn't housebroken. Joel: Ick.... >Lola felt a lil weird as she had lost her "V". Tom: Well, at least she minded her P's and Q's. >Then suddenly, the earth started shaking, Tom: It's Fat Albert coming for ya! HEY! HEY! HEY! Joel: I thought the lemon scene was already over? Crow: Uh oh! Looks like the rest of the tectonic plates from *Trapped* decided to bang together.... >"What's that?" Lola said a lil worried, and the ground kept shaking, >each time a STOMP sound was heard, they went out of the gym, and >saw that something was breaking havoc in the city Crow: Could it be....? Tom: Do you think....? Joel: Who else....? All: GODZILLA HAS COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!! YES!!!! >"Aw damn!" Tom: There goes the Acme city dam.... Crow: YEAH!!! GIVE EM HELL, GODZILLA!!! >Oscar thought "It better not be what i think it is", Joel: Duh, Sailor Jupiter warned me this might happen someday.... >Lola then followed Oscar, as he ran down to the havoc site. Tom: Hasn't Oscar caused enough havoc already? >Oscar pouted as he saw what he feared it'd be Joel: Behold the pale mutated lizard... the man that rode on him was death... and hell followed with him.... Tom: It's not revenge he's after... it's the reckoning. Crow: All right! Now, this is getting good! >"Aw damn, a fucking Youma, my powers are way down...but i think >i can handle it", Lola grew concerned "Umm Oscar... Crow: Does the name *Custer* mean anything to you? >what is this?" she said as she saw the B.ball creep youma, Joel: Aw, dang. It's not Godzilla. Crow: Wait, don't lose hope yet! Maybe it's an agent of Queen Beryl come to finish Oscar at last! Tom: Hey, we can always hope. >Oscar replied,"A youma sweetie.." Joel: Don't call me sweetie! Crow: Can I call you Sugar Plum? Joel: No! Crow: Pussycat? Joel: No! Crow: Angel drawers? Joel: No, you may not! Get on with it! >the youma then turned around and saw Oscar, "OSCAR! your time >has come!" Joel: Let's win this one for the Beeper! >Oscar frowned and got in his fighting stance "C'mon!" he yelled, >"Lola stand back", Lola stept back from the fighting place, the other >toons didn't waited too long to appear on the scene, Tom: There he is! That's the maroon that stole my honey bunny! Crow: It's time for the WB toons to settle their differences, unite under Elmer Fudd, and kick some ass! Joel: Kill the Hewmaphwodite... Kill the Hewmaphwodite... Kill the Hewmaphwodite.... >Fifi was with them, and saw Oscar preparing to fight the Youma. Joel: Let's see... I believe Cammy's theme from Street Fighter Alpha 2 Gold will do nicely here.... Crow: ROUND 1... FIGHT! Tom: FROM THE THOUSANDS OF TOONS IN ATTENDANCE... AND THE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE READING AROUND THE WORLD... LLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO BOO OSCAR'S ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.... >"OSCAR!" Fifi yelled at him, this distracted Oscar and the Youma >attacked him with a red beam, Oscar got hit by the beam and >smashed into a nearby wall, Crow: You think that was bad? Wait until you see my PURPLE beam!!! Tom: Lola! Thanks for the assist! Joel: No problem! Anytime! >"Ough nice move but!" he then dashed forward and attacked the >youma with a mega triple kick, which connected easily, Tom: Uh oh! That's even more powerful than a mega *double* kick! Crow: Let's hope the Youma knows the secret, double dog, quadruple twisting, triple pounding, peace loving pacifist, GROIN PULL!!! Joel: Don't you need a Game Genie for that? >but the youma countered with a nega fist that Oscar barely managed >to evade, Tom: Duh, oh yeah! Take this! HURRICANE SMASH!!! Crow: Ha! Back at you! REVENGE OF THE HURRICANE!!! Tom: SHINING SMASH!!! Crow: GALACTIC ATTACK!!! Tom: GENOCIDE SONIC!!! Crow: BEST THUNDER!!! Tom: BURNING ATTACK!!! Crow: BURNING BLAST!!! Joel: Uh guys.... Tom: ATOMIC SMASH!!! Crow: THUNDER PULSE!!! Joel: GUYS!!! (Tom pauses in mid shout and looks at Joel. Then he sheepishly returns to his seat, Crow doing the same a moment later.) >and he made his infamous Kame-Hame-Ha!, >"Check this! it's my KAME-HAME-HA!" Crow: I can read the narration, dickweed.... >a blue energy ball began forming on his hands, the youma was >intimidated by it and blocked, the energy ball was small, due to >Oscar's lack of energy, and he finally released it Tom: ...five years later. Joel: And I thought Goku and Vegita fusing together to form Gojita took it's sweet time.... >"HAAAA!!!" he shouted as the beam stroke the youma, Crow: A little lower and to the right... ahhhh, that's the spot.... >but the youma persisted, Oscar was already sweating hard, and he >knew that he'd must use his ultimate move, All: RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!! Joel: "When in doubt, get hell out..." - Jack Acid, 1998 >"Lola....everyone...goodbye.." he said with a smile, the youma raised >an eyebrow, and Lola gasped Crow: The youma's eyebrow! Oscar's in trouble now! >"Wait...no!" Fifi also exalted when she heard this, Crow: Glo-o-o-o-ria! Tom: Free! Free as ze wind blow! >Buster was astounded to see what Oscar was about to do for them. Crow: He's going to die for us! Wahoo! Joel: Ask not... what your hermaphrodite can do for you... but what you can do for your hermaphrodite.... >Oscar then with his speed he ran and grabbed hold of the youma, the >grip VERY tightened, Tom: INTENSE... CLENCHING... ACTION! >"Hey you lil motherfucker let me go!!" Joel: Hey! Shouldn't that be lil MF.? >Oscar grinned and he began concentrating his remaining energy, >making a big yellow energy field around them, Crow: Duh, let's see how you handle my *URINE* Ki Blast! Tom: Oscar's pissed off enough people as it is.... >"OSCAR! DON'T!!" All: YES!!! SACRIFICE YOURSELF!!! DO IT!!! >Lola yelled desperately, almost crying, Fifi was puzzled for Lola's >actions, and she tought "Hmmm...nah it couldn't be, they're dif. ages", Joel: And that makes all the dif. in the world. Crow: I thought Oscar said Lola was 14? How old does that make Fifi? Joel: I think we'd best leave that question unanswered. >Oscar smiled one last time "Good-bye....my friends.." Crow: My... little friends... my... special friends.... Tom: HEY OSCAR... GET BENT!!! >the energy's light was WAY too bright to see a thing, and the Youma >yelled in pain "AAAARRRRGHHHH!!!!!" Crow: Oh no! Oscar's forcing the Youma to remember 'Toon Lights'! He's finished! >when the whole dust cleared off, only crushed pavement was left. Crow: And when that was cleared off, only wood was left, and when that was cleared off, only dirt was left, and when that was cleared off, ONLY JIMMY HOFFA WAS LEFT, AND WHEN THAT WAS CLEARED OFF, ONLY SOLID ROCK WAS LEFT AND WHEN THAT WAS CLEARED.... Joel: (puts his hand on Crow's shoulder) Uh, I think they get the idea. >"NOOOOO!!!!" Lola yelled, as she rushed to the place where Oscar >was ast standing, she knelt looking down, crying softly, she looked >upwards and imagined Oscar's face in the sky. Joel: Oscar in the sky... with diamonds.... Crow: If I saw Oscar's face in the sky I would drop a load. >That night Joel: Things happened, stuff blew up, it was cool. Bots: NA NA NA NA... NA NA NA NA... HEY HEY HEY... GOOD-BYE!!! >"Oscar...perhaps the only boy who isn't a complete jerk" Said Lola, >alone in a bench All: TOGGG!!! >looking at the moon, Crow: I wonder what Lola imagines when she sees the moon? Tom: With it's pocked and scarred surface? Probably Oscar's.... Joel: Don't say it, Tom. >she thought if she'd find someone as him, "Oscar..". Tom: Geez! Get over it! Move on with your life! Crow: They could always make a sequel to Space Jam? Joel: Well, Camelot DID bomb, so you never know.... >Fifi was in her house, looking at her mirror, remembering what >Oscar told her "I'll leave soon" she then sniffed "But why did you had >to leave this way?" Crow: Why couldn't your death have been gorier? >In a lone part of Acme city, Oscar was already refueled with his >normal power, due that the youma was destroyed and it's nega energy >field was gone, he wanted to stay but he had to return home. Joel: ...and those are all completely different thoughts. >He couldn't stand say good-bye to them... Tom: So, why bother! Crow: ...and they couldn't stand him, period. >he sighed sadly and fled to the big WB, Crow: I don't suppose there's any chance Phil Silvers will drive out of a nearby river and run over Oscar, is there? Tom: Probably not. >the WB opened to Oscar and he went in, surprisingly, he returned >just where he left, he saw Artemis in the bed, the lights off, and the >exact hour he left, meaning that time froze when he was in Tiny >Toon/ Looney tune land. Joel: Hey! Oscar ripped off my time flux alarm clock invention from the Hellraiser MSTing! Crow: Are you surprised? Joel: Not really, now that you mention it. >He wa releived, of that, and simply went to sleep with Arty. Tom: His last name wouldn't happen to be Johnson, would it? Crow: Oscar's sleeping with a member of the Fantastic Four?!? Where does it end?!? WHERE DOES IT END?!? Joel: Uh oh! Oscar forgot to beat up some fierce street dogs before climbing into bed! There's gonna be hell to pay, come the morning! >Meanwhile in the enemy's base: "Dammit!" Kaoline punched the >wall, in anger, Tom: I barely got any screen time! Crow: Trust me, honey, you got off lucky. >as her first attempt failed, "Well, at least there's still Chris and >Felicia hm hm hm ha ha ha ha!!!" she laughed wickedly. Crow: Actually, I'd classify that laugh as slightly hideous. >Finally, the next day in Tiny Toon/Looney Tune land, Crow: The rest of the toons returned home and the streets were still filled with the sounds of mass celebration with the departure of Oscar.... Joel: ...Pinky and the Brain were devising yet another plan to try and take over the world.... Tom: How about sending Oscar over to Disney? There's a diabolical plan for ya! >Fifi went back to school hoping to find another special someone, Tom: Hey, I'm still here, gorgeous! Crow: Ze sigh... I guess I'll have to pine after Elmer Fudd again... I find ze bald men zo sexy.... >and Lola went back to stand the whole dumbasses that called her >"Doll" or harased her sexually Crow: ....against the wall while she emptied her uzis into them. Tom: Nothing like a spraying a little hot lead to ease the pain.... >"A normal day...damn" she said as she went to the gym once more.... Joel: I can't believe I turned down Ryoucilo's fic for this one! What was I thinking?!? >The End....for now! Tom: It's over... It's finally over.... Crow: We... We survived him for a third time.... Joel: We did it! We're the first triple crown Oscar-fic MSTers! Crow and Tom: Yay.... >I hope you liked it he he he, i tried to spell check ok? no promises Tom: Like we'd believe you anyway. Crow: Promise us nothing and we'll give you squat! Joel: Give yourselves some credit guys! You really hung in there! I'm proud of you! Tom: Thanks, Joel. Now, can you please deliver us from evil? Joel: Sure thing, Tommy.... * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE Joel leaned against the wall next to the Holocabana doors as he waited for the bots to finish their *surprise* program. Then the doors opened as Tom hovered outside to face his creator. "It's ready, Joel! Check it out!" he exclaimed. "What's the program about?" Joel asked as he followed Tom through the Holocabana doors. "You'll see!" Tom replied as the doors shut behind them. * * * OUTSIDE ACME LOONIVERSITY..... "What's that?" Lola said a lil worried, and the ground kept shaking, each time a STOMP sound was heard, they went out of the gym, and saw that something was breaking havoc in the city "Aw damn!" Oscar thought "It better not be what i think it is", Lola then followed Oscar, as he ran down to the havoc site. Oscar pouted as he saw what he feared it'd be. Godzilla glared down at the little hermaphrodite and roared. The volume smashed all the windows of the Looniversity and Oscar was thrown backwards to smash hard against the brick wall. BBAAAAAM!!!" "GO GODZILLA GO! GO GODZILLA GO!" The toons chanted. Oscar painfully peeled himself off the wall and tried to summon a Kame-Hame-Ha, only to find his powers had completely vanished. He then ran towards Lola and Fifi who stood by the sidelines. "Duh, please help me! i can't fight him alone!" Lola seemed to consider him for a moment. "Kneel down and beg me." she finally replied. Oscar immediately fell to his knees and clasped his hands together. "PLASE!!! I'M BEGGING U! HELP ME!!!" "What was that? Plase? I'm not familiar with that word...." Lola replied, giggling lightly. Oscar jaw-dropped. Then he turned to face Fifi. "Feef, plase! i need a lil. help cuz i got no powers left!!! Without them, I'm frogned!" "Hmmm... ze are really in a jam, no?" Fifi hummed. "YES!!! My powers are gone! I can't even play b.ball anymore!" Oscar whimpered. "Well, Oscie, I'm afraid I don't love you anymore...." "WHAT?!? But I tough we were lovers cuz we F. with excitation!" "And what about our love, Oscar?" Oscar froze with terror. Then he slowly turned to see Artemis standing behind him looking *VERY* angry. "What's the matter, OSCIE...." Artemis hissed, her hands on her hips. "You need a couple of fierce street dogs to *putted* you out of your misery?" "Uh... er... um...." Oscar stammered nervously, eyeing the girl in front of him with great fear. "Oh well... It doesn't make any *dif.* There's no dogs around here, although there are some rats that would like to talk to you...." "AHHHHHHHH!!!" Oscar screamed as Roderick and his slaves came out of nowhere and descended upon him. Then Elmer Fudd rushed into the fray, the sound of a double-barreled shotgun being discharged over and over. Soon a long line had quickly formed in front of the carnage, filled with toons wishing to extract their revenge. At the front of the line was Bugs Bunny, who calmly ate a carrot while tightening his fist around a pair of brass knuckles.... * * * SEVERAL HOURS LATER.... Pinky let out a yawn. "I'm tired, Brain. Let's call it a night." The Brain nodded. "Very well, Pinky. We've unleashed as much whoop-ass on Oscar as possible for a pair of three inch lab mice. But come the morning, We must start preparing for tomorrow night!" "Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night?" Pinky asked. "The same thing we do every night, Pinky... TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" As the two mice scampered off to the closing chords of their theme music, Lola, Fifi and Artemis walked over to the crumpled, bruised, and thoroughly pulverized figure of Oscar. Then they looked up at Godzilla, who had been waiting patiently all this time. "Okay, Godzilla. Your turn." Lola called up to him. "Make ze French Fries out of heem!" Fifi shouted. "FINISH HIM...." Artemis whispered. Godzilla bowed to them and then let out a ear-splitting roar, which painfully brought Oscar back to consciousness. Oscar looked up and screamed as Godzilla reared his head back and unleashed his patented Blue Flame (C) by Toho, All Rights Reserved. Fifi and Lola held their noses as the smell of sizzling Oscar was in the air. Then Godzilla raised one of his feet and smashed it down on the flaming mass. The three girls cheered loudly as a chorus of Hallelujah suddenly boomed out of thin air. (This is Loony Tune Land, after all). Then Lola called up to the mutated lizard again. "Thanks for the help, big guy! Good luck in New York! If you see the cast of Seinfeld up there, give em some blue flame for me!" "Farewell Godzilla! Watch out for ze senshi in green!" Fifi added. "You have my gratitude and an invitation to my wedding!" Artemis called out happily. Godzilla nodded in their direction before stomping off towards the direction of the ocean. The trio of girls watched him go and then gave each other high fives before returning to the Looniversity to celebrate.... "End program, Magic Voice...." * * * THE HOLOCABANA "So, what do you think, Joel?" Tom asked. "Is our *alternate ending* everything it's cracked up to be?" Crow asked. Joel shook his head and smiled. "You guys should write revengefics for a living." "Ha! Give us a empty holocabana and we're Picasso!" Tom exclaimed with pride. "What do you think, sirs?" Crow asked. DEEP 13 "Will you please hold still, Frank!" Dr. Forrester growled as he picked up another piece of charcoal and scribbled on his paper. A few feet in front of him, Frank was lying on a casting couch, nude except for a strategically placed leaf. "I can't believe my therapist actually recommended this to me...." Dr. Forrester mumbled under his breath as he tried to concentrate on the inner beauty of his assistant and not on the fat naked slob that threatened to bring up his lunch with every passing moment.... Suddenly there was a snap as the charcoal broke off for what seemed like the thousandth time. Disgusted, Dr. Forrester threw the charcoal on the floor and stood up, stretching his tired muscles. "I think I'm going to call it a day, Frank...." "Okay, I'll push the button." Frank replied as he started to rise. "NO! I mean, just stay there and for god's sake, keep that leaf steady!" Dr. Forrester replied as he pushed the button. "Why, Dr. F, I do believe you're blushing...." "Shut up, Frank." THE REAL END.... (Feel free to hum the closing theme as you read my author's notes.) 16 MSTings....Wow. Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that I've written that many episodes. It's a lot of hard work and late hours but it's something I honestly enjoy doing and I hope I can continue to bring you these works for a long time to come. :) I'd like to give very special thanks to Gary Kleppe, Robin "Lunari" Seabaugh, Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong, Jack Acid and the Flashman, who were all very helpful in giving me C&C and ideas for this MSTing. I couldn't have finished this MSTing without their help and I can't thank them enough. :) I'd also like to thank Timothy McLees, Luna and Artemis, Chris Bergstrom, Jay Dee Archer (Jupiter Knight), Michael K. Neylon, Demon Stalker, and Sakura for being nice enough to post my MSTings on their webpages. Another person I would like to give very special thanks to is Shizen, who was nice enough to dedicate a webpage for my MSTings. Shizen has his own IRC and Beseen.com chatrooms, along with several other features including a growing collection of Ranma 1/2 and Sailor Moon fanfics. My other fanfics as well as Robin "Lunari" Seabaugh's can be found in these collections and new submissions are very welcome. (Note: This webpage is down at the moment but a new link for it should be available in the near future.) I'd like to thank Theo Mintesnot for coming up with a love theme for this series by changing a few words. I changed a few myself but it was his idea and I appreciate it. :) Also, I'm very proud to announce that my MSTings won the following categories for the 1st Annual Silver Mally Awards and I'm very grateful to everyone who voted for them. If you're interested in the complete results, visit Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings. *BEST ANIME (Non-Sailor Moon) MSTING* "War" MSTed by Megane 6.7 (Runner up:"Ranma vs the Joker" MSTed by Kevin Pezzano) *BEST SAILOR MOON MSTING* (TIE) "Dimisional Trouble", MSTed by Tim McLees "Sailor Jupiter vs Godzilla", MSTed by Megane 6.7 *BEST NON-ANIME MSTING* "Moondusted", MSTed by Tim McLees, Megane 6.7 & Mark Sachs (Runner Up: "A Final Fantasy 7 Thanksgiving", MSTed by Jamie Jeans *BEST MSTING OF A LEMON* "Artemis' Lover" MSTed by Megane 6.7 (Runner-Up:Virgin Warrior Sailor Moon, MSTed by Megane 6.7) *BRAVEST AUTHOR* Megane 6.7, the 1st TVAM MSTer, discovered Oscar. (Runner-Up:Don Euclid, for his work with the Sasami lemons) *BEST HOST SEGMENTS IN A MSTING* Megane 6.7 (Runner-Up:Tim McLees) *BEST RIFFS IN A MSTING* Megane 6.7 (Runner-up:Seth Triggs) My MSTings have also won and been nominated for the following awards.... *ARTEMIS'S LOVER* - Nominated for the Golden Hamdinger for "Best Host Segments" - Awarded the Balsa Waffle for "Worst Fanfic" - Awarded the Balsa Waffle for "Worst New Characters" *TRANSITIONS* - Nominated for the Golden Hamdinger for "Best Host Segments" Thank you very much. :) Finally I'd like to thank Oscar for writing "Oscar Toon" and giving me permission to MST his works as well as a lot of material to work with. I hope you're not too offended. It's all meant in good fun. If you are, feel free to MST my own works, I won't mind a bit. C&C, as always, is appreciated. (fcasper@yesic.com) Feel free to send in any anime fanfics that you would like to see MSTed and I'll take a look at it. Also, if you're interested in seeing any previous episodes of this series, I'll be happy to e-mail them to you. ;) Sincerely, Megane 6.7 P.S. My friend, Lunari, has just finished another SM story called "Child of Destiny" Like "Dying Fire" and "Justification is in Order" it is a excellent story and if you are interested in reading it, contact her at lunari@sprynet.com and I'm sure she'll be happy to send a copy to you. :) Also, Jack Acid has begun his own series of MSTings and is a very talented computer graphics artist. You can find some of his works in the art gallery at Tenchi's site and you can contact him at jack_acid@yahoo.com A MSTing For All Seasons http://www.nabiki.com/mst A full archive of all Mystery Science Theater 6.7 episodes, Megane 6.7 fanfiction, and collaborations! Shizen's Versatile Home Page V3.0 http://svhp.webjump.com/ (Contains links to my MSTings and fanfics) (Alternate site: http://www.tass.org/fanfic/MST3k/) Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/ SEASON ONE ------------------ 101- "GAMES" by Artemis (SM Lemon) 102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (Original Draft) by Oscar (SM Lemon) 103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA" by The Flashman (SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER) 104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic) w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin (R1/2 Fanfic) 105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic) 106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson (Nuku Nuku Fanfic) 107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton (La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover) 108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic) 109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky (SM/WWF Crossover) w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon (SM/RL Crossover) 110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER CHRISTMAS" by Dr. Thinker (SM Christmas Fanfic) SEASON TWO ------------------- 201- "THAT GIRL" PT. 1-2 by Oscar (SM Lemon) 202- "VIRGIN WARRIOR SAILOR MOON" by Umino (SM Lemon) 203- "*R*P*M*" by Flynn (SM/SPAWN Crossover) 204- "RANKO'S LIFE" PT. 1-2 by Hitomi Ichinohei (R1/2 Fanfic) 205- "TRAPPED" by Mr_Jazz (SM Lemon) 206- "OSCAR TOON" PT. 1-4 by Oscar (SM/DBZ/WB Crossover) 207- "CALIFORNIA DREAMING" by Shakari (Mutiple Crossover Lemon) 208- "A RANMA 1/2 FANFIC" PT. 1-2 by Sheep (R1/2 Fanfic) 209- "TRIANGLE TANGLE" by CATS (SM Lemon) 210- "URUSEI YATSURA: THE KIDNAPPING" by Shutaro Mendou (UY Lemon) SEASON THREE ---------------------- 301- "A WET DREAM COME TRUE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Lemon) 302- "TORTURED ECHO" PT. 1-4 by Trakal (R1/2 Fanfic) 303- "RANMA KILLS!" PT. 1-2 by Sir Asayogure (R1/2 Fanfic) 304- "OKONOMIYAKI SUMMER" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic) w/short "UNDER THE MISTLETOE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic) 305- "XMAS SPECIAL: A CHRISTMAS FIT FOR A POKEMON" by Dr. Thinker (Pokemon Christmas Fanfic) 306- "9-BALL DREAMS" PT. 1-2 by Mr_Jazz (SM Crossover Lemon) 307- "WINTER" by Joseph Palmer (R1/2 Fanfic) 308- "UKYO GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES" PT. 1-2 by RVincent (R1/2 Lemon) SHORTY! ------------- 101- SUBLIMINALLY SEDUCE WOMEN INSTANTLY! 102- THE UGLIEST WOMEN ON THE NET! 103- PHEROMONES! 104- THE INTERNET SPY AND YOU!! OTHER MSTINGS I'VE CONTRIBUTED TO --------------------------------------------------------- "DIMISIONAL TROUBLE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic) "MOONDUSTED" by Stephen Ratliff (SM/TNG Crossover) Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/ "THE COUNTESS CHRONICLES" by Lin Lin (SM Dark Lemon) "9 1/2 CHIPMUNKS" by Toon Dreams (Rescue Rangers Yaoi Lemon) Lefty's MSTings http://lefty.simplenet.com/MSTings/index.htm 'MYSTERY WRESTLING THEATER 3000', POST 105: DOUBLE TROUBLE!' (Two interviews with the Ultimate Warrior and '3:16 Rulzs!' by Oracle) Website Number 9 MSTings http://pinky.wtower.com/mst3k/mistings.shtml "THE DAY OF EMERGANCE" by Jeffrey Lee (Ranma 1/2/Eddings/SM Crossover) "REDHEADS" by Robert Haynie (Slayers/Ranma 1/2 Crossover) Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page http://www.akane.org/gary/comics.html OTHER GREAT WEBPAGES WORTH VISITING Zoogz's Fanfiction and Fandom Page http://www.nav.to/Zoogz The Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong http://www.anime.sobhrach.com\~jeffwong\index.html 'Suicide Blast' by: Keener http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/3342/Suicide.html Additional links for Keener's stuff -- http://tmffa.com/ -- http://www.redrival.com/myrriden/index.html Flashman's Flash Point http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/3105/ JOLT!!! http://members.home.net/jolt.caffiene/welcome.htm Website Number 9 MSTings http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml Lord Carnage's Cursed Fanboys Page! http://carnage.fanfic.org A Sailor Moon Romance http://moonromance.simplenet.com/ Zen's Fanfiction Page http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html Webdragon's Lair http://members.tripod.com/~WebDragon/ Sean Gaffney's Webpage http://www.thekeep.org/~sean/index.html "Oscar...perhaps the only boy who isn't a complete jerk" Said Lola, alone in a bench looking at the moon, she thought if she'd find someone as him, "Oscar.."." Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 1998 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Keep Circulating the Fanfics....