(The future isn't what it used to be....)
 

"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7"  (SEASON THREE)

EPISODE 24: OKONOMIYAKI SUMMER

(A Ranma 1/2 MSTing)

MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7

This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.

Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are
the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc.  Just covering
my own ass here folks....

"Ranma 1/2" is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and all the
distributors of her work.

"Okonomiyaki Summer" is the property of Mike Rhea and he's welcome to it.
I do not intend to offend him for making fun of his work like this but I
figure it's only a matter of time before someone does.  Think of this as
another form of C&C.  It's all meant in good fun.  ;)
 

(Cue "Mystery Science Theater 6.7 Love Theme" in 5... 4... 3....)

It's the not-too-distant future,
Last Sunday BC
There was this guy named Joel
Not so different from you or me
He worked at Gizmonic Institute
Just another guy in a red jumpsuit
He did a great job cleaning up the place,
But his bosses really hate him
So they shot him into space!!!!

Joel:
(OH....MY....GODDESS!!!)

Crow and Tom:
(IT'S MEGAMI-SAMA!)

(Instead of holding messed up video, Frank's holding a computer printout)

We'll send him crappy fanfics
The worst we can find  (lalala)
He'll have to sit and read them all and we'll monitor his mind  (lalala)

(Instead of where it shows the guys watching the movie, it shows them
ducking behind their seats for 'Artemis's Lover'.)

Now keep in mind Joel can't control
When the fanfics begin or end  (lalala)
Because he used those special parts
To make his robot friends;

ROBOT ROLL CALL:

CAMBOT:
'Text only'?

Gypsy:
'Oh, my!'

Tom Servo:
'Sweet-o!'

CROOOOOOOW!!!
'I'm not a hentai!'

If your wondering how Joel eats and breathes
And other science facts  (lalala)
Then repeat to yourself
*It's just a MiST*
You should really just relax
for MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7!!!!
 

* * *
 

SATELLITE OF LOVE
16:54 HOURS
 

 It was a slow, lazy afternoon as Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot
leaned against the counter, watching TV.

 "I mean, really, Tom, have you been able to get into the new
Voltron at all?" Crow asked as he stared at the screen. "Maybe I'm stuck
in the 80's but I liked the old version tons better!"

   "No kidding!  Just LOOK at that cheesy sword summoning
animation!  I mean, come on!  Show us some POWER, already!"  Tom
griped.

 "I know!  You can practically see the ray tracing on those CGI
animations!  A cartoon should look like a cartoon, not a showcase for
computer animation!"

 Just then, Joel's head popped up in front of Cambot, grinning.  "Hi
everyone!  Welcome to the Satellite of Love!  We've caught Tom and Crow
in the middle of their seasonal rant on retooled cartoons of the past...."

 "And their symbiotic relationship to youth!"  Tom interrupted.

 "Uh, right!  Anyway, let's see how deep the rabbit hole goes!"  Joel
exclaimed as he ducked back down.

 "What DID they DO to Lotor?  Make him a cyborg?  Give me a
break!"  Tom exclaimed.

 "Just once I wish they would leave in the aspects of a redone cartoon
that actually made it, y'know, COOL," Crow griped.

 "YES!"  Tom exclaimed. "What they need to do rather than redo
is to CONTINUE.  Use the same art designs and characterizations as when
left off and go from there!  None of this fancy overblown CGI crapola!  Just
leave everything the way it is, the way we liked and remembered it!  Right,
Crow?"  Tom exclaimed.

 "Uh, well...."  Crow hesitated.

 "What's wrong with that?"  Tom asked.

 "Well, the new Giant Robo wasn't all that bad when it was
retooled... kinda cool, actually,"  Crow began.

 "Yes, but...."

 "And the Spiderman and Batman cartoons were pretty awesome,
even with the occasional CGI scenery...."

 "Crow!  We're talking about works of ART, here!  Did someone look
at the Mona Lisa and say 'Dude!  That'd make a KILLER hologram!'  I think
not!"

 "Oh, brother...."  Crow rolled his eyes.  "Look, Tommy, all I'm saying is,
when computer animation is used to enhance the cartoon instead of showing off
itself, it can greatly enhance the enjoyability factor of the cartoon!"

 "Why?  What's wrong with using animation that made the cartoons of
our youth so memorable to crank out new stories?"

 "Our youth?  Tom, we were only created a few years ago!"  Crow
pointed out.

 "It would be cheaper, easier and it might even bring back the golden age
of American animation!  Why, just imagine Thundercats being back on the air
in it's former glory!  Or G.I. Joe!  Or the original Transformers!"

 "Or the Snorks?"  Joel inquired as he strolled onto the bridge.

 Both robots were silent for a long moment.

 "Then again, maybe it's better we leave the classics alone,"  Tom
remarked.

 "Yeah, overexposure would cheapen the original series."  Crow nodded
in agreement.

 Joel smiled, rolling his eyes.  A moment later, the red light on the
counter began flashing.  "Uh-oh, pull up your socks, guys.  The overlords
are calling...."  Joel said as he gave the button a slap.
 

* * *
 

DEEP 13

 The viewscreen came to life as Dr. Forrester finished adjusting his
small, round, green-tinted shades.  Instead of his usual labcoat, he wore a heavy
green leather overcoat and his hair seemed even wilder than ever.  His usual
expression of smugness however, had not changed one iota.

 "Greetings, bag of mostly water!  Glad to see you and your garbage
pail kids on time for a change!  As you can see, I've decided to change my look
somewhat to better fit into the next millennium.  Hey, if Weird Al can get away
with it, anyone can!"  Dr. Forrester smirked.

 "Yes, no longer will I be known simply as Dr. Clayton Forrester, evil
genius at large, no!  From this time forward, I shall be known as...."

 TV's Frank's head popped up before the viewscreen with a microphone
in hand.  "FORRESTER... OF... THE FUTURE...."  he proclaimed in a stage
whisper before disappearing again.

 Joel and the bots stared blankly at the screen.

 "That's right, Joel!"  Dr. Forrester continued without missing a beat.
"The future belongs to me and the past belong to the rest!  I am tomorrow and
today is now and will forever be yesterday to everyone else!  I am the flavor of
infinity!  The fad that's simply mad!  I AM...."

 Frank's head popped up again to whisper.  "FORRESTER... OF... THE
FUTURE...."

 "Uh, exactly how does dressing like Laurence Fishburne in
'The Matrix' make you Forrester of the future?"  Tom asked.

 "Yeah, at least shave your head bald or something!"  Crow added.

 "Poor naive fools...."  Dr. Forrester chuckled.  "Ensemble is only
the beginning.  Don't you think I know the clothes don't make the mad
scientist?  One doesn't not simply become the...."

 "FORRESTER... OF... THE FUTURE...."  Frank whispered on cue.

 "....by means of wardrobe alone!  But enough of these clothing
analogies!  As you will soon see, my invention exchange this week will
prove how far into the future my evil will spread!  Frank, bring out... THE
COMPUTER."

 Frank whistled a happy tune as he wheeled in a computer desk with
an IBM computer that had been state of the art a few days ago but was now
obsolete.   Dr. Forrester began rubbing his hands together as he began his
explanation.

 "Well, boys, Y2K will be here soon.  Some feel it will mark the end
of the world.  Some people are educated and know the REAL millennium isn't
until 2001 and that with the exception of the theme from '2001: A Space Odyssey'
being played 'ad nauseum', nothing really bad is going to happen.  But can we
say the same thing... about the millennium after that?  For you see...."

 Frank's head popped up again, a silver bib wrapped around his neck as
he sang in a very high falsetto.  "In the year... three thou... SANDDD... ARRRRK!!!"
Frank's voice abruptly croaked as he failed to hold on to the necessary note.

 "Thank you, Andy...."  Dr. Forrester paused for a moment, an evil
grin on his face as he continued.  "When Y2K comes and goes, everyone will
be so relieved and feel pretty darn silly for being worried and paranoid in the
first place.  Which means they'll be a sitting DUCK for my Y3K virus...."

 "Y3K?!?"  Joel and the bots exclaimed, shocked.

 "Yes, I figure by the year 3000, humanity will either be completely
dependent on machines or machines will enslave us.  I simply slip my Y3K
virus onto the net now, the machines will eventually find it and cause a major
catastrophe that will either mess up or save humanity!  Either way, I WIN!
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!"

 "Gee sir... won't you be dead by then?" Joel inquired.

 "Oh, no worries.  I'll keep myself alive in Cryo-Preserve or
something...."  Dr. Forrester replied confidently.

 "Huh?  But doc... I mean, FORRESTER... OF... THE FUTURE...
won't the Y3K virus render all Cryo-Preserve units inoperative?"  Frank asked.

 "Huh?  Uh... well, I'm sure that... umm... that is...."  Dr. Forrester
stammered, his forehead suddenly breaking out in a cold sweat.  "M-Maybe
I can have one of my cells preserved and later regenerated into a c-clone?"

 "Oh, I see!  So the Y3K virus won't have any effect on cloning
technology whatsoever?"  Tom remarked.

 "Uh, sure!  Absolutely!"  Dr. Forrester swallowed hard as he replied,
his face turning an unhealthy shade of gray.  "Uhh, w-what's say we let Joel
present his invention now?  Go ahead, Joel...."
 

* * *
 

SATELLITE OF LOVE

 Joel reached behind the counter and placed a soda can on top of it.

 "Well, sirs, this week's invention is something that I hope you'll
really like.  It's my solution to the excess waste problem that plaguing the
world: Edible Soda Cans!  It looks and feels like a real aluminum soda can
but it's actually a light wafer with a delicious thin creamy chocolate shell!"

 "Yeah, after all, why can't beverage cans be as delicious as the beverage
inside?"  Crow remarked as Joel took a big bite out of the center of the can.

 "It's a little crunchy but once you get used to it, it really makes a nice
light snack before a meal.  What'da think, sirs?"  Joel asked as he took
another bite out of the can.
 

* * *
 

DEEP 13

 "So, tell me Steve... oops, I mean, FORRESTER... OF... THE
FUTURE... What will my new name be from now on?"  Frank innocently
asked.

 "It'll be MUD if you don't SHUT UP, FRANK!!!"

 "But, Dr. F!  I mean, FORRESTER... OF...."

 Dr. Forrester grabbed him by the lapels.  "FRANK, one more
word and it'll be the meat hook this time!"  Frank wisely kept to himself
and nodded while Dr. Forrester glared at the viewscreen.

 "And, as for you, ragamuffins, this week's experiment is penned
by none other than the Seinfeld of Ranma/Ukyou fanfiction, Mike Rhea!
It's 'Okonomiyaki Summer' and it's really... sad."

 "So's Y3K...."  Crow muttered under his breath.

 Dr. Forrester's eyes narrowed.   "What's that?  One Mike Rhea fic
isn't enough, you say?  No problem!   I'll send along his most recent short as
well!"  Dr. Forrester snarled at them.

 "What?!?  Oh, GOOD ONE, Crow!  Why not make fun of his goofy
wardrobe while you're at... mmph!"  Joel quickly covered Tom's mouth with
his hand, preventing further disaster.

 "'Under the Mistletoe'.  Love it or shove it, Joel!  Put the hurt on
them, Frank...."

 Frank quickly nodded as Dr. Forrester released him and he staggered
over to the filing cabinet....
 

* * *
 

SATELLITE OF LOVE
 

 As the viewscreen cut out, Crow turned to face Tom and Joel.

 "Gee, I'm sorry, guys...."  Crow replied sadly.

 "Ah, it's okay.  We've survived a double bill before, we can do it
again...."  Joel assured the despondent robot.

 "Besides, I have a feeling Dr. F was going to send us that other fic
sooner or later.  Might as well get it over with now...."  Tom added.

 "Really?  Well, gee, what's stopping us from telling off Dr. F off
every experiment then?"  Crow asked.

 "The possibility of another Oscarfic to MST?"  Tom guessed while
Joel nodded in agreement.  Suddenly, alarms wailed and multicolored lights
flashed.

 "OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!"  Joel cried out.
 

(Door 6: It slides open on both sides..)

(Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you move on..)

(Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.)

(Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling..)

(Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and
touches the door. The door vanishes.)

(Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.)

(Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor.  You walk into it.)
 

 Joel emerged from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms,
Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind.  Stepping
over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his
own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to
him, Crow sitting on his right.
 

>From: michaelrhea@hotmail.com
 

Tom: Yeah, what's so hot about it anyway?

Joel: Hotmail.com!  Setting mail servers ablaze since 1997!
 

>DISCLAIMER:
 

Joel: <author> I own this fanfic.  I own everyone in this fanfic.  I own
you.  Deal with it, gentle reader.

Crow: Any rumors of this fanfic containing spoilers for Star Wars
Episode Two is *COMPLETELY* unfounded!  Likewise any advice for
the lovelorn this fanfic may have to offer are NOT to be taken seriously!
 

>None of these characters are mine,and no copyright infringement is intended.
 

Tom: Oh sure, it's never INTENDED, now is it?  IS IT!?!

Crow: The lack of spaces between commas and periods, however, is
completely intentional just to annoy the living hell out of you.  Ha ha!
 

>Summer may finally be over in California,but
 

Joel: ...who needs it when we've got Fukaduk!

Crow: ...unlike you poor shmoes, we don't have to shovel any snow
whatsoever!  Woo hoo!
 

>it hasn't stopped me from cranking out this yet another romantic piece
 

Crow: Yeah, I cranked out one of those a little while ago.  The trick is to
try and squeeze it into a heart like shape before it hits the bowl.

Tom: Ewwww....
 

>featuring the Angel and Buffy of Japanese anime.
 

Joel: Yes, it's Belldandy and Miyu like you've NEVER seen them before!
 

>^_^
 

Crow:  Mine's cuter!  (^-^)

Tom: Look at me!  I'm bewildered!  {*_*}

Joel: You guys.... (-_-);
 

>This ISN'T a lemon.
 

Joel: It's a kumquat!
 

>Okonomiyaki Summer
 

Crow: Y'know, If the author ever does make this into a lemon, I've got the
PERFECT title for him....

Tom: What?

Crow: Why... 'End of Okonomiyaki Summer' of course!

Tom: <groans>
 

>(A Ranma 1/2 fanfic),by Mike Rhea
 

Tom: But really, has there EVER been a fanfic with *okonomiyaki* that
WASN'T about Ranma 1/2?

Joel: I'm still waiting for 'Okonomiyaki Bastard!!' myself.
 

>*********************************************************
 

Joel: <singing> Ghetto superstar, that is what you are!  Coming from
afar, reaching for the stars.....

Tom: Sometimes I wonder what authors would use for scene changes if
the * symbol never came into being?

Crow: Probably 8's.  One less key to hold down.
 

>It was early July.A typical summer day in Japan's Kansai region.The
>region was under a heat spell.School was out for the summer,
 

Crow: Godzilla was knocking over Tokyo Tower, Gamera was setting
fire to Kyoto, Wolf Raiders from Valnastar were looting wig stores
everywhere....

Joel: Just another wacky summer day in Japan.
 

>and just about everyone was hitting the beaches.
 

Crow: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch* Die, you stupid beach!  DIE!  *crunch*

Tom: <Kunou> Sand of Satan!  I WILL SMITE THEE!
 

>Ranma and Ukyou Saotome were no exception.
 

Tom: <Ranma> All right, beach!  This is where it ends! Hiryu
Shoten Ha!

Crow: Burn my Ranchan's feet, will you?!?  EAT SPATULA!  *CLANG*
 

>Though it was their first summer together since not only marrying but
>also moving out of Tokyo,they knew that okonomiyaki would be a hot
>beachside business;
 

Joel: Yeah, nothing beats hot food after sweating in the sun all day.
 

>which is why for the summer,they moved their okonomiyaki business
>out of its normal location in western Kyoto and to the beaches
 

Crow: Where they found an abundance of people looking half dead, walking
on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head....

Tom: Ah, summer in the city....
 

>of Shirasaki on the Ise peninsula,where they've built a summer cottage
>on the beach.
 

Joel: They've moved into a life insurance commercial!

Tom: <Ranma> Boy, life's sure been easy since this author started writing
about us, huh?

Crow: <Ukyou> Yeah!  Who wants to be a millionaire when we have this
author to look after our well being?
 

>It was already heating up outside when they emerged from their cottage
>at about ten in the morning to set up their yatai for the day.
 

Tom: <Ranma> Quick, you distract the yatai while I kneel behind it and
when I give the signal, push it over!

Crow: Hee hee hee!
 

>They were dressed in a slimmed down summer version of their okonomiyaki
>sellers' clothing:
 

Joel: Nothing but aprons and a smile!

Crow: Yes, zees clothes weel help me find ze Pink Panther!

Joel: That's PETER Sellers' clothing, Crow....
 

>Ranma was wearing a sleeveless okonomiyaki sellers' shirt and some shorts;
 

Crow: <Ukyou> Ranchan!  You're not wearing your 'okonomiyaki sellers'
shorts!  How the HELL do you expect to sell any okonomiyaki if you aren't
wearing 'okonomiyaki sellers' shorts?!?
 

>and Ukyou in a sleeveless okonomiyaki sellers' shirt
 

Tom: Because, as everyone knows, *sleeves* simply don't sell okonomiyaki.
 

>over a swimsuit(sans breast bindings,of course).
 

Crow: If they ain't bouncing, it ain't fan service.

Joel: <Ranma> Oh yeah, I'm SO sure that swimsuit is 'okonomiyaki
seller' issue!
 

>In fact,it was exactly the same as what she wore previously at the Miss
>Beachside contest.
 

Joel: <author> And don't come crying to me if you haven't seen the manga
or anime of that event!

Crow: That wasn't in the manga, Joel.

Tom: Proving once again that Rumiko Takahashi has a little more sense than
Mike Rhea.
 

>As soon as they opened up for the day,business picked up very quickly.
 

Tom: Fortunately, good ol' JR was right there to announce it.
 

>Among their first customers of the day,in fact were none other
>than the Godai family:Yusaku,Kyooko,and their daughter Haruka.
 

Joel: Kyookowho?

Crow: Yusaku remarried?!?  Say it ain't so!
 

>"Good day,Mr. and Mrs.Saotome,"greeted Kyooko.

>"Good day,Godai-san,"replied Ukyou.
 

Tom: <Ranma> Uh, yeah, hi, whatever.
 

>"How have things been for you and your husband?"
 

Crow: <Ukyou> Better than Yusaku and Kyoko it would seem.

Joel: <Kyooko> Oh yes, Yusaku and I are doing MUCH better than
Ranma and Akane.  Now I WONDER what could have caused them to
break up....

Crow: <Ukyou> Whatever it was, it couldn't have been nearly as DEVIOUS
as whatever broke up Yusaku and Kyoko....

Joel: <Kyooko> Rrrrrowr!

Crow: <Ukyou> Fffft!
 

>"Excellent.In fact,not only is he enjoying being a nursery school teacher;
 

Joel: <Kyooko> He got a B+ for Nap Time!
 

>we're thinking about having another child.By the way,have
>either of you met our young daughter,Haruka?"
 

Tom: <Ukyou> Ooh,she's so cute.In fact,we've been thinking of having
one.Do you think I'd make a good mom?Huh?Do ya?Do ya?Do ya?

Joel: Spacebar!  Try using it!
 

>"No,we haven't.Is that Godai holding her?"
 

Tom: <Kyooko> That depends.  Is that Saotome packing heat?

Crow: <Evil Yusaku> Yes, and unless you pay me one million yen, I'll
hold her HOSTAGE!  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
 

>"Yes,though she's still not old enough to talk yet.Can you please make
>it a couple of seafood combos?"
 

Joel: <Ranma> Wow!  Big appetite for a baby!

Crow: <Yusaku> Yeah, we've got to fatten her up for the Dingo.
 

>"Sure,"said Ukyou as she began preparing 3 okonomiyaki,one of them
>heart-shaped(to be consumed by Ranma) in which she wrote "Love,Ucchan"
>in sauce.
 

Crow: Hey, you've already married the guy, for pete's sake!

Joel: <author> Cause, you see, Ukyou's in LOVE with Ranma!  I mean
REALLY in love, y'know!  Just wanted to stress that point!
 

>As the okonomiyaki were cooking...
 

Tom: Kyooko and Ranma exchanged a quick glance, their eyes meeting,
conveying a message understood only to them.  Tonight would prove
interesting indeed....
 

>"How's it been,Saotome-kun?,"inquired Godai.
 

Tom: <Ranma> How's what been?

Crow: <Godai> Well, you know, how's it's hanging?

Tom: <Ranma> Hanging?  You mean the pictures on my wall?

Crow: <Godai> HOW'S YOUR DICK, SAOTOME?!?  HOW'S YOUR DICK?!?

Tom: <Ranma> Oh!
 

>"Very well,Godai-kun,"replied Ranma."
 

Crow: <Godai> THANK YOU.  Sheesh....
 

>Did you find our summer location O.K.?"
 

Tom: <Godai> Actually, we've been looking for it since last Fall....

Joel: Heh.  That's what they get for asking Ryouga for directions.
 

>"Well,we found it faster than the first time we were looking for your
>Kyoto location;
 

Tom: McUcchan's!  Over 99 Billion Okonomiyaki Served!
 

>since not only was there a map on the door,but also
>because we didn't get our directions from that directionally
>challenged lad named Ryouga Hibiki.
 

Crow: Okay, Godai does NOT talk like that.

Tom: Directionally challenged?  Man, how politically correct can you get?
 

>BTW,has he ever found his way home yet?"
 

Joel: <Ranma> Nah, he met up with a slob named God.
 

>"Actually,you may be surprised:Since marrying both Akari Unryuu and
>Akane Tendou,
 

Joel: ...he's never left his room.  Can't imagine why.

Crow: <chuckling>

Tom: Oh, yes.  Everyone knows that Akane hasn't a trace of jealousy and
would never object to sharing her man with another woman.

Crow: Hey, we can always dream, can't we?
 

>the latter whom I was once engaged to,
 

Tom: <author> Now let us NEVER speak of that again.

Joel: Is this fanfic dubbed?  I think it's dubbed, don't you?

Crow: Yeah, Ranma and Godai remind me of that guy with the English
accent that used to dub Jackie Chan films....

Tom: He dubbed Jackie Chan's voice?

Crow: Actually, I think he dubbed everybody.
 

>he rarely gets lost anymore.
 

Joel: Soon afterwards, Ryouga wrote a best-selling novel on wilderness
survival titled 'Polygamy: The Ultimate Compass'!
 

>In addition,he doesn't get nosebleeds anymore when he sees
>them both in the raw,even when he sees them playing with each other."
 

Crow: WOAH!  Ryouga Hibiki is DA MAN!!!

Tom: Now, THAT'S a love story I wouldn't mind reading!  Heh heh heh....

Joel: And exactly HOW would Ranma know that Akane and Akari play with
each other?  Did they perform in front of him too or what?

Crow: There's more going on here that meets the eye....
 

>As Ranma and Godai continued talking,the okonomiyaki were done.

>"Godai darling,they're done,"said Kyooko.
 

Crow: <Kyooko> *AHEM*  They're DONE!  Will somebody wake up
and stick a fork in them already?!?
 

>"See ya later,Saotome-kun,"said Godai as he paid and thanked Ranma.

>"Have a nice day,Godai,"replied Ranma.

>"See ya,Godai-san,"said Ukyou.

>"Arigatou,Saotome-san,"replied Kyooko
 

Tom: <Ukyou> Toodles, Kyooko-san!

Joel: <Godai> Peace, Ukyou-chan!

Crow: <Kyooko> Godspeed, Ranma-sama!

Joel: <Ukyou> Amen, Yusaku-san!

Tom: <Godai> Stay loose, Saotome-kun!

Crow: <Ranma> Bite me, Yusaku no baka!
 

>as she,(Yusaku)Godai,
 

Crow: Are brackets really necessary here?

Joel: Maybe Yusaku has a Jyusekyou curse?

Crow: Oh?  Which spring did she fall in then?

Tom: Spring of Cursed Parentheses.  Very tragic legend.
 

>and Haruka laid down on a beach towel and began consuming their
>okonomiyaki.About an hour(and many customers)later,
 

Crow: They died of food poisoning, sending all who had indulged in the
okonomiyaki into a blind panic that left the beach in shambles....

Joel: Fortunately, business had been slow that day due to Ranma's failure to
wear the acclaimed 'okonomiyaki sellers' shorts.
 

>another familiar face showed up at the Saotome okonomiyaki yatai:
 

Crow: <Shampoo> Ranma!  You I kill!

Tom: <Kodachi> Oh HO HO HO HO!

Joel: <Tsubasa> Ukyou-Sama!
 

>Tenchi Masaki.
 

Joel: Hmmm, none of the above.

Tom: And we have third crossover!
 

>"Good day,Saotome-kun,"said Tenchi.

>"Good day,Masaki-kun,"replied Ranma.
 

Tom: <Tenchi> Yo, Ucchan.

Joel: <Ukyou> 'Lo, Tenchi.
 

>"How would you like your okonomiyaki today?"
 

Joel: <Tenchi> Let's see... hold the pickles, hold the lettuce....

Crow: *CLANG*  *RIP*

Tom: <Ranma> Sorry, I should have warned you, special orders
DO upset her....
 

>"Make it 3 seafood combos,please."
 

Tom: With extra sea!

Joel: <Ranma> Yikes!  And I thought Haruka had a big appetite....
 

>"Sure.Ryouko and Ayeka fighting again?,"inquired Ranma
 

Crow: Author double-punctuating again?
 

>as he began preparing 4 seafood okonomiyaki,including a heart-shaped
>one(to be consumed by Ukyou)in which he wrote "I love you,Ucchan" in
>sauce.
 

Joel: <author> Cause, you see, Ranma's in LOVE with Ukyou!  I mean
REALLY in love, y'know!  Just wanted to stress that point!

Crow: And in the dictionary under redundant, it says 'See: redundant'

Tom: You can say that again.

Joel: Actually, it's all a clever strategy by the author.  Repeat the
same point over and over as if it were fact, until your audience
believes it.

Tom: Ah, the Joeseph Goebbels school of fanfiction.

Joel: Natch.
 

>"As usual,"replied Tenchi."How's married life for you and Ukyou?"
 

Joel:  Haven't we covered this already?

Tom: <Ranma> What do you mean how is it?

Crow: <Tenchi> I mean, are you and her getting along?

Tom: <Ranma> By getting along, do you mean... um....

Crow: <Tenchi> HOW'S THE SEX, SAOTOME?!?  HOW'S THE SEX?!?

Tom: <Ranma> Ohhhhh, it's quite enjoyable, thank you.
 

>"It's a far cry from that so called 'engagement' to Akane Tendou.
 

Crow: My so-called engagement.  There's an angst fanfic just waiting to happen.
 

>It turned out that the uncute tomboy had been playing dumb about the
>Ryouga/P-chan matter all along.
 

Tom: She Knows?

Joel: <shaking his head> Shameless plug, Tom.  Absolutely shameless.

Tom: Heh.
 

>If only my old man had told me in the first place that Ukyou was a girl
>so I could have chosen her over okonomiyaki on the spot
 

Crow: <Genma> Son, Ukyou is a girl.  Now which do you like better?
Ukyou or okonomiyaki?

Joel: <Ranma> Uhhhh, okonomiyaki!

Tom: I think he'd need a little more information than that....
 

>(instead of my stupid old man pulling another of his food stunts),
 

Crow: Anything goes food fighting?

Tom: Nah, even martial artists draw the line at wasting good food.
 

>not only would she not have been abandoned in the first place,but also
>neither me or my lovely wife wouldn't have gone through the troubles
>we went through
 

Tom: <imitates a violin playing>

Joel: This fic IS pretty sad, all right....
 

>just because my dad had a stomach for a brain.
 

Crow: Look who's talking....

Joel: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Ranma.
 

>Besides,my wife is much cuter than that uncute tomboy that
>I was once engaged to.
 

Joel: <Tenchi> Aren't you being a little harsh?

Crow: <Ranma> What do you want from me?  She's EVIL!  EEEEEEVIL!!!
 

>"Ranma then took a break from the conversation
 

Tom: And who can blame him?  Considering the sheer *intensity* of it, I'm
surprised he hasn't passed out right then and there....

Joel: Getting a LITTLE sarcastic there, Tom?

Crow: <Worf from 'First Contact'> LITTLE?!?
 

>as he and Ukyou kissed briefly,but passionately.At that moment,Ryouko
>and Ayeka found Tenchi.
 

Tom: <Tenchi a la Doc Brown> Oh no, they found me... I don't know
how but they found me... RUN FOR IT, TENCHI!!!

Crow: Maybe they're both married to Tenchi?  Hey, it works for Ryouga....

Joel: <Ayeka> Did we please you with our catfight, Lord Tenchi?
 

>"Where have you been,darling Tenchi?,"inquired Ryouko.
 

Tom: First, Kyooko and now Ryouko, what's up with this 'Darling'
routine?

Joel: Maybe Lum went into business as a bridal trainer?
 

>"While you and Ayeka were fighting again,I decided to get something to
>eat,"replied Tenchi."Besides,if you're hungry,I got some okonomiyaki."
 

Crow: <Ukyou> Not till I see some money, you don't!
 

>"Lord Tenchi,she started it!,"interrupted Ayeka.
 

Tom: All right!  Let the fight commence!  This fic could use some action!
 

>Eventually,the okonomiyaki were done before Ryouko's and Ayeka's
>exchange of insults could escalate even further.
 

Tom: Aw, man....

Joel: So far, the most interesting aspects of this fanfic are the stuff that's
already happened!  At least give us a flashback or something!
 

>"See ya later,Masaki-kun,"said Ranma.

>"Have a nice day,Saotome-kun,"replied Tenchi
 

Joel: <singing> There's no greater power... than the power of... good-bye....

Tom: <Ranma> See you in hell, Tenchi-san.

Crow: <Tenchi> Kiss my ass, Ranma-san.

Tom: <Ranma> Hope a bus run over you, Masaki!

Crow: <Tenchi> May lightning strike you repeatedly, Ranma!

Tom: <Ranma> THAT'S IT!!!  YOU'RE A DEAD MAN, TENCHI!!!

Crow: <Tenchi> DIE WITH DISHONOR, SAOTOME!!!
 

>as he,Ryouko,and Ayeka began consuming their okonomiyaki.
 

Joel: Converse, consume, repeat.  Converse, consume, repeat.

Crow: <singing> This plot is just... THREE WORDS LONG!
 

>One moment later,Ukyou noticed another familiar acquaintance within a
>distance:
 

Tom: <groans> What is this?  Cafe Anipike?  What's with all the guest stars?

Joel: <Ukyou> Oh NO!  It's that crepe chief again!  Go away!  This is MY turf!
 

>Ryuunosuke Fujinami.
 

Crow: Heh, now if she ends up married to Ataru, it might be worth a laugh....

Tom: 'A Rumiko Takahashi Summer' would have been a better title for this fic.

Crow: Yeah, all we need now is someone from 'Inuyasha' to complete the set!

Joel: But wait a minute! Tenchi wasn't written by Takahashi!

Tom: Nitpick, nitpick, nitpick....
 

>"Ran-chan,Ryuu-chan could be coming here in any moment,"said Ukyou.
 

Joel: <Ukyou> So put on some pants, for goodness sake!

Tom: <Ranma> What's the matter?  You don't like short shorts?

Crow: <Ryunnosuke> Mmmm, I like short shorts!

Tom: <Ukyou> Hey, watch it!   He's MINE!
 

>"No problem,my darling Ucchan,"replied Ranma
 

Tom: Okay, who's the wise guy that hired Zsa Zsa Gabour as a voice coach?!?
 

>as he wasted little time preparing an extra okonomiyaki for the cross-dresser
>from Tomobiki
 

Joel: The crossdresser from Tomobiki... is that anything like the man from
U.N.C.L.E?
 

>which he and Ukyou have known since she attended their wedding.
 

Crow: Why would Ryuunosuke be at their wedding if she didn't know them?

Joel: <shrugs> Maybe she was scoping out the bridemaid's dresses?

Tom: <Ryuunosuke> Never a bridemaid, never a bride... story of my life.
 

>A couple of moments later,the normally tomboyish Ryuunosuke,who was
>wearing a swimsuit sans breast bindings
 

All: <groans>

Tom: <author> Look, I paid for the swimsuits and gosh darn it, I'm
going to write about them!

Crow: <author> Repetition worked for the Megaman series!  It'll work for me!
 

>(since her sexist father has been lost for several months,thanks to Ryouga;
 

Joel: Hibiki Express!  When you absolutely, positively, have to be lost overnight!
 

>and was now stranded in the middle of the K Street pedestrian mall in
>downtown Sacramento, Calfornia,U.S.A.),
 

Crow: Uh... okay.

Tom: Y'know, if that happened in a previous fic, it might be nice to go into
a little more detail so we don't get confused....

Joel: Maybe it's just a really obscure reference?
 

>arrived at the Saotome okonomiyaki cart as the extra
>okonomiyaki that Ranma was cooking for this occasion had finished.
 

Tom: *THRILL* your socks off as Ranma *COOKS* okonomiyaki!

Crow: *MARVEL* at the incredible *BANTER* between casual friends!

Joel: *SCREAM* with unbridled enthusiasm as they GREET and bid
each other *GOOD-BYE*!
 

>"Kon-nichiwa,Saotome-san,"said Ryuunosuke.

>"Kon-nichiwa,Ryuu-chan,"replied Ukyou.
 

Joel: <Ranma> Talk to the hand!
 

>"You just caught us as we were about to close up for lunch.Luckily,
>Ran-chan and I saved you an extra okonomiyaki since we knew you
>were coming."
 

Crow: <Ryuunosuke, whiny> Awwww, if you knew I was coming, why
didn't you bake a caaaaaake....?
 

>"Arigatou,Saotome-san,"thanked Ryuunosuke as she handed Ukyou some
>money.
 

Tom: <Ryuunosuke> Dance for me, my lovely!

Crow: <Ukyou> Lap or Pole?

Tom: <Ryuunosuke> Surprise me!
 

>"You're welcome,Ryuu-chan,"replied Ukyou as she handed Ryuunosuke her
>okonomiyaki."Care to join us?"
 

Crow: <Ryuunosuke> Why, are you coming apart?  Heh heh... heh... kill me.
 

>"Sure,"replied Ryuunosuke as she,Ranma,and Ukyou laid down on a large
>beach towel
 

Crow: Wow, they're having a threesome!

Joel: How do you figure?

Crow: They're all getting laid!

Joel <groans>
 

 >in which the latter two had set up next to their yatai after closing it up
 

Joel: Well, at least it's more exciting than X-Raider.
 

>(and taking off their shirts so that Ranma was only wearing shorts and
>Ukyou a swimsuit).
 

Crow: <Ukyou> Ice water!  We need some ice water here, stat!

Tom: <snickers>
 

>Once settled,the three wasted little time eating up their okonomiyaki.

>A few moments later,after they finished eating up their okonomiyaki...
 

Joel: Who cares about a plot when they're eating up their okonomiyaki!

Tom: There must be more to this fic that eating up their okonomiyaki.

Crow: If the author thinks this is entertaining, he's full of okonomiyaki.
 

>"How's married life,Saotome-san?,"inquired Ryuunosuke.
 

All: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
 

>"Wonderful,Ryuu-chan,"replied Ukyou."I had been dreaming about this
>for eternally,literally.
 

Crow: Figuratively speaking, of course.

Joel: As opposed to momentarily, falsely?
 

>Besides,I haven't seen dress like this before.
 

Crow: <Ukyou> Duhhhh!  Dress purty!  Heh heh heh!
 

>What does your father think of you wearing feminine clothing for a
>change?"
 

Tom: <Ryuunosuke> He usually tell me to change.  Thank you!
 

>"Well,it doesn't look like he'll ever find out,since he's been missing
>for months.
 

Joel: <Ryuunosuke> Who needs a father when I can wear a BRA again!
Woo hoo!
 

>Actually,it's quite a relief that he hasn't been around to make me hide my
>true gender from the world."
 

Crow: <Ryuunosuke> In fact, why even bother with the swimsuit I have on
now!  *zzzzzip*  There!  I'm 100% female and damn it, I'm going to show the
world what they've been missing!

Joel: Cute, Crow....
 

>She then asked Ranma "Saotome-kun,do you miss Nerima?"
 

Tom: <Ranma> Oh... no more than I'd miss my left arm.
 

>"Not really,"replied Ranma."In fact,if only my old man told me about
>Ukyou's true gender in the first place,I wouldn't have chosen
>okonomiyaki in the first place.
 

Crow: <Ranma> I would have chosen the stickybuns!
 

>In fact my mom finally got pops to apologize to Ucchan and her dad
>for stealing the cart and leaving my eventual future wife behind.
 

Tom: We know!  We know!  Ranma's totally devoted to Ukyou now!
Geez, we get it already!

Joel: Two words.  Move. On.
 

>"He then turned to his wife and said "Ucchan,don't you wish that
>summer was year-round instead of just 3 months a year?"
 

Crow: <Ukyou> Um, actually I wish for world peace.

Tom: <Ranma> D'oh!
 

>"Why is that,Ran-chan?,"replied Ukyou.
 

Tom: Here it comes, guys... get ready.
 

>"You are the only woman in the world that is kawaii regardless of what
>you wear,
 

Joel: <Ranma> But if you ever take a hit in the face, I am SO out of your life!

Crow: Say, didn't Ranma use that same line in 'Wet Dream' too?

Tom: Must be one of those catchphrases the readers expect to see.  Like James
Bond's 'Shaken, Not Stirred'....

Crow: Yeah, or Bruce Willis's famous 'Yippie Ki Yay Motherfuc....

Joel: <quickly grabs a hold of Crow's beak> Ah, I think they get it, Crow.
 

>especially when you're wearing a swimsuit."
 

Tom: <Ranma> Less so when you're wearing a durlap bag.

Crow: <Ranma> Of course, now, when Shampoo wears a swimsuit, she ain't
kawaii, she's DAMN HOT!  Yeah, baby!  Yeah!

Joel: Down, boy....
 

>Ukyou blushed profusely,
 

Tom: <Gorilla Monsoon> Ranma's busted her wide open!  She looks to be
blushing profusely from the cheeks!  AWW!  Excuse ME!  Ranma just
complimented her again! Blush pouring down the cheeks of Ukyou now....
 

>then replied "Oh,Ran-chan" as she and her husband Ranma kissed very
>passionately and deeply.
 

Crow: Joel, is it possible to kiss someone deeply without it being passionate?

Joel: Oh yeah.  My aunt nails me with one of those every Christmas.
 

>Suddenly,their passionate kiss was interrupted by
>a tidal wave that splashed them and Ryuunosuke,
 

Tom: ...dragging them all out of sea to drown slowly and horribly, the end.

Joel: <Ukyou> Ahhhh!  I should have killed you when I had the
chance, you son of a BEACH!  *glub glub*
 

>leaving all 3 very wet.
 

All: <Three Stooges> WHO'S ALL WET?!?
 

>Suddenly,Ryuunosuke noticed that Ranma didn't change into a girl like
>he always did whenever splashed with cool or cold water.
 

Tom: Instead, he changed into a fish.  Years later, he saved Pittsburgh.

Crow: Nerd water, however, was teased mercilessly and wedgied repeatedly.
 

>"Saotome-kun,why didn't you change into a girl when that wave hit
>you?,"inquired Ryuunosuke.
 

Tom: <Ranma> Because the author's determined not to make this fic any fun
whatsoever?

Joel: <Ukyou> Speak for yourself, Ranchan!  *smooch*
 

>"Let's just say a stashed away and saved an extra bottle of
>Nanniichuan water for emergencies
 

All: A stashed away and saved an extra bottle of Nanniichuan water
for emergencies!

Tom: Now let's just say... The author is a weenie!

Joel: No.

Tom: Spoilsport....
 

>such as my failed wedding to that uncute tomboy Akane Tendou
 

Crow: <Ryuunosuke> Geez, Ranma, get over it, already!

Joel: <Ranma> Sorry, I'm... bitter.
 

>in which that dirty old Happousai drank up all that Nanniichuan water,"
>replied Ranma.
 

Tom: <Ranma> Dirty old smelly Happousai!  Ooh, I hate him so!
 

>"Thankfully,he didn't know about the extra bottle I had saved."
 

Joel: <Ranma> I got a whole nickel for it!
 

>"Oh,Ran-chan,"said Ukyou."You shouldn't have!"
 

Crow: <Ukyou> No, really!  I was looking forward to getting some from
your female side!  Change back this instant or we're through!
 

>"Now I can be a real man for you,darling Ucchan,"replied Ranma
 

Crow: Considering what happened the last time Ranma was a 'Real Man',
I don't think Ukyou's going to like it....
 

>as he and Ukyou again kissed very passionately,but briefly
 

Joel: Ooooo.

Tom: Ahhhhh.

Crow: Zzzzzzzz....
 

>before they went back to the yatai(where Ranma put his shirt back on
>and Ukyou put on the apron that she often wears when operating on the
>beach)and reopened it.
 

Joel: Is it just me or does this author drink a LOT of caffeine when he writes?
 

>"Saotome-san,can I help out for the rest of the day?,"inquired
>Ryuunosuke."Nodoka-san figured that you could use some help."
 

Tom: <Ryuunosuke> Hey, I might as well do SOMETHING since I'm here.
 

>"Why not,"replied Ukyou as she handed Ryuunosuke an extra apron which
>she put on right away.
 

Crow: <author> Fast, dammit, fast!  I want that apron on NOW!!!
 

>**********************************************************
 

Tom: Yes, the lights from the constellation 'Scene Change' are from a long
string of stars that burned out millions of years ago....
 

>For the rest of the operating day,
 

Joel: Food will be served on the patients.  That is all.
 

>Ryuunosuke served the customers whenever Ranma and Ukyou took
>small breaks to passionately kiss each other.
 

Joel: <singing> You must remember this... a kiss is just a kiss....

Crow: <Ryuunosuke> Hey, how bout a little sugar for Ryuunosuke, eh?
 

>Eventually,hours later,
 

Joel: ...time having passed, slowly but surely, at a steady pace, the minutes
ticking away, counting down the seconds....

Tom: This fic is like a slow ride to Grandma's house.

Crow: Yeah, hot, cramped and every ten minutes, someone ralphs.
 

>it was sunset;which for Ranma and Ukyou
>also meant closing time.
 

Joel: <singing> Closing Time... One last call for alcohol....

Crow: No thanks, it's hard enough to riff this thing while SOBER.
 

>As they packed up the yatai,they thanked Ryuunosuke for her help and
>handed her about a fourth of the day's profits.
 

Tom: <Ryuunosuke> What?!?  Hey, there's THREE of us so I should get
1/3 of the day's profits!

Joel: <Ukyou> But we only sold six okonomiyakis today!

Crow: <Ranma> Hmmm.  Maybe we SHOULD start wearing sleeves?
 

>Ukyou then took off her apron as she and Ranma took their yatai
>back to their cottage where Ranma's mom,Nodoka,greeted them while
>sitting next to a snoring panda.
 

Tom: <Ranma> Wait a second... this isn't Pop!!  W-what's going on?!?

Joel: <Nodoka> I'm afraid it's true, Ranma, I've been seeing another
panda for a long time now.

Crow: <Panda> Call me Ling Ling, son!

Tom: <Ranma> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
 

>"How was it,Ranma?,"inquired Nodoka.
 

Crow: <Ranma> Just incredible, mom, she'll do ANYTHING in bed!  No
matter how kinky!  She's got this outfit that just totally blew my mind, not
to mention my....

Joel: <Nodoka> RANMA!!!  I meant how was *BUSINESS* today!?!

Crow: <Ranma> oh.
 

>"As usual,business was great,"replied Ranma."Before Ryuu-chan arrived,
>the Godai family came by;and a bit later,Tenchi and company came by."
 

Crow: <Ranma> And that's about it.  Oh yeah, we kissed each other a
bunch of times passionately,briefly and briefly,passionately!  Um, does that
count for anything?

Joel: <Nodoka> Of course!  Kissing is far more manly than earning profit!
 

>"Anyway,you got a postcard from Ryouga."
 

Tom: <Ranma> Never mind Ryouga, what about my Uncle Traveling Matt?
 

>Ranma kissed him mom
 

Joel: Kissed him mom?  You mean he kissed Ryouga's mother?

Tom: Yeah, let's give Ryouga ONE more reason to hate Ranma....
 

>and then found the postcard on the coffee table.

>"How are Ryouga-kun and his 2 wives doing,Ran-chan?,"inquired Ukyou.
 

Crow: Finally, a question we can ALL get into!
 

>"Very fine,"replied Ranma.
 

Crow: <Ukyou> Wow, you say that so convincingly, I almost want to believe you.

Joel: Ranma makes Steven Wright looks like Sam Kinison.

Tom: <George Carlin> FINE?!?  Nobody's FINE!?!  HAIR is FINE!  How's
your hair?  FINE!!!
 

>"He just wanted to tell us that both Akane and Akari are pregnant with the
>trio's first children.
 

Joel: <Walter Matthau> Holy Moley!

Crow: Both of them at once?  Wow, that must've been one wild night....

Tom: <Ryouga> Thank you, Viagra!  You've made my dreams come true!
 

>In addition, Tsubasa and Konatsu are in the U.S. to make an appearance
>on some daytime talk show."
 

Joel: <Jerry Springer> On today's show, we have two crossdressers from
Japan, both of them in love with the SAME woman who also happens to
be MARRIED....

Crow and Tom: <audience> JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Joel: <Jerry Springer> Shhh!  Save that for the fight!  *ahem* So,
without further ado, let's bring em both out!  Tsubasa and Konatsu!

Tom: <Konatsu> Springer, you <BLEEPEDLY BLEEP BLEEP OF A BLEEP>!!!

Crow: <Tsubasa> Exploit us, will you?!?  GET HIM!!!

Joel: <Jerry Springer> W-What?  Hey, wait a minute!  NO!!!  ARRRRRRRRGH!!!

Crow and Tom: <audience> JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
 

>"I'd figure that those 2 drag queens would find true romance with each other.
 

Joel: <Author, singing> Cause, that's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I wrote it,
uh-huh uh-huh....

Tom: Geez, Ranma's pretty uppity for someone that changes genders at the drop
of a hat.
 

>Besides,I'm sweating,Ranchan.The two of us could use a hot bath."
 

Joel: <Ranma> Huh?  But won't that make us sweat even more?

Crow: <Ukyou> Oh, for pete sakes!  I want to cuddle naked with you
in the bathtub!  What do I have to do, draw a frigging picture?!?
 

>"Why not,darling?,"replied Ranma
 

All: <Lum> Da'cha!
 

>as he and Ukyou accompanied each other to their bedroom.
 

Tom: <Ranma> Umm, Ucchan, I know you love me and all, but do you
have to follow me EVERYWHERE I go?

Crow: <Ukyou> Damn straight!  I'm not taking ANY chances of you
leaving me ever again!

Tom: <Ranma> Hoo boy....
 

>Once settled,Ukyou took off Ranma's shirt.
 

Crow: Right off his back.  Poor sap.

Tom: <Ranma> B-but I thought you loved me!  How could you do this?!?

Joel: <Ukyou> Sorry, Ranchan, there's gotta be a REASON why Ryouga's
got two women married to him and personally I can't wait to find out!
Sayonara, sucker!
 

>He,in return,helped his wife slide her bathing suit from her shoulders;and
>she pulled it down to her ankles,stepped out of it,and tossed it aside.
 

Tom: 'Prince of Tides', this is not.
 

>Ranma then held her close and tried to kiss her when Ukyou said "Let's
>skip the teasing,Ran-chan you naughty boy,"
 

Joel: <Ranma> Awwww, can't I tease you just a little bit?  Please?

Tom: <Ukyou> Oh... all right.  But please be gentle.

Joel: <Ranma> I will.  *ahem*  Ukyou is a tomboy!  Ukyou is a tomboy!
Nyahh Nyahh, Nyahh Nyahh Nyahh!
 

>while tracing her hands down to Ranma's waist and helped him slip out
>of his shorts.
 

Crow: <Ukyou> Ranma's got a big butt!  Ranma's got a big butt!

Tom: <Ranma> Hey... I never said *I* liked to be teased!

Crow: <Ukyou> Can't take it!  Can't take it!  Nyahh Nyahh!
 

>"Anything for you,honey,"replied Ranma as he stepped out of his shorts,
>tossed them aside,and undid the ribbon in his wife's hair as they
>accompanied each other to the bathroom,
 

Joel: And so on and so on and so on....

Tom: Could it be this author's so infatuated with Ranma and Ukyou as
a couple, he's unaware he's repeating himself?

Crow: Could be.  Ukyou seems to have that kind of affect on people.
 

>holding hands and admiring each other's nude bodies on the way.
 

Crow: <whimpering> How about a little description for the reader?  Huh?
Please?  Pretty please?
 

>Upon arrival in the bathroom,they stepped into the bath and sat in it
>together so that their bodies below their shoulders were completely under
>water.
 

Joel: As opposed to the bodies above sitting on their shoulders?
 

>As they soaked in the hot water...
 

All: <starts humming the theme to Jaws>
 

>"Ran-chan...,"said Ukyou.

>"Yes,Ucchan?,"replied Ranma.
 

Tom: <Ukyou> We simply MUST stop meeting in fics like this!
 

>"You may now be 100% male and I may be a tomboy,but you make me feel
>like a natural woman."
 

Tom: You make me feel like I've run my brain through a french fry slicer.

Joel: Now's it's turned into a Shampoo commercial!  WHAT'S NEXT?!?
 

>Ranma blushed profusely,then replied "Arigatou,Ucchan" as he and his
>wife engaged in a very passionate kiss.
 

All: BRIEFLY.
 

>**Music:"Lum's Love Song,"from the anime series Urusei Yatsura**
 

Tom: What?  No ballad of Ranma and Ukyou?

Joel: Give Mike time.  He'll write it eventually.
 

>*********************************************************
 

Crow: <Shatner> 32nd star to the right!  And straight on till morning!
 

>Meanwhile,at the corner of Seventh at K streets in downtown
>Sacramento...
 

Joel: A young author named Mike Rhea eagerly awaits the latest copy of
'Okonomiyaki Digest!'....

Tom: Yes, in this issue, we have articles covering a variety of topics like 'How
to keep your spatula's sharp!', 'Sleeves: Pros and Cons', 'Predicting
the future with Okonomiyaki: Which ingredients can you trust?' and our
regular feature 'Okonomiyaki in Real Life!  How one okonomiyaki
saved the life of a wanderer from starving to death in the wilds of China!'

Crow: If I hear the word 'Okonomiyaki' *ONE* more time, I'll scream....
 

>"Do you know where Tomobiki-cho is?,"Mr.Fujinami asked a Japanese
>tourist who was waiting for a local bus.
 

Joel: <Ryouga> Oh, shut up.
 

>"Never heard of it,"the tourist replied."You've probably been watching
>and/or reading too much Urusei Yatsura.Try the comic store across the
>street.
 

Crow: *rumble rumble* *CRASH!* *KABOOM!!!*

Tom: <tourist> W-what was that?  A bomb?!?

Joel: <Mr. Fujinami> No, that was the forth wall.  The author just blew
it to hell.
 

>If you live in Tomobiki-cho,the nearest Japanese consulate
>is in San Francisco.There's a bus station a block down from here."
 

Crow: Man, this is like watching outtakes from 'My Dinner with Andre'!
 

>"Arigatou,"replied Mr.Fujinami as he walked to the Greyhound station.
 

Joel: And another one rides the bus.
 

>THE END
 

Crow: <throws his hands up in the air>  Well, that was pointless!

Joel: In every sense of the word.

Tom: <V.O.> Suddenly... there was no story.  There was no structure, no
action, no thing called PLOT to be followed.  There was nothing in the fanfic
but the puzzled MSTers of courage who suddenly found themselves alone with
shadows and darkness....

Crow: All characters in this fanfic were rescued alive, well, and of normal
characterization some 8,000 miles away in a lifeboat....
 

>*******************************************************************
 

Joel: Ironically, the scene changes were the only thing spaced correctly in this fic.
 

>AUTHOR'S NOTES:
 

Crow: <snickers> This ought to be good for a laugh....
 

>As you may know,this latest fanfic of mine was at least
>partially inspired by an episode very late in the Nettouhen series
>that features a swimsuit contest(Miss Beachside)between Ranma's 4
>fiancees.
 

Tom: No, but thanks for telling us now that the fic is over!
 

>Of course,Ukyou is the only Ranma 1/2 lady who is kawaii in
>either boy's or girl's clothing.
 

Crow: Oh, I don't know, I could picture Akane looking pretty damn
good wearing nothing but a mens shirt... not to mention Shampoo...
Nabiki... <eyes glaze over>... Kodachi... K-Kasumi-Sama....

Joel: Crow?  <shakes him gently> Um, Crow, you're drooling on the seats....

Crow: Huh?  Oh!  Yeah, sorry!  My mind was wandering....
 

>But I must admit,when she's wearing a bathing suit,even if she was
>in a group picture where everyone was in beach attire(there are a fair
>number of such pictures in just aboute very other Ranma 1/2 fan page),
 

Tom: Aboute?  What is he, Canadian now?

Joel: Coming soon to very other Ranma 1/2 fan pages everywhere!  It's
the Ukyou Swimsuit Calendar!  12 glorious months of Ucchan can be yours
ABSOLUTELY FREE, provided you denounce that uncute tomboy, Akane,
and worship at the altar of our beloved Ukyou-sama!
 

>the only one that comes even close to Ukyou's good looks is Shampoo.
 

Crow: Evidently, the author's never seen the Ranma 1/2 Movie #3, when
Akane went from 'tomboyishly cute' to 'WOAH MOMMA!!  GET A LOAD
OF THEM HEADLIGHTS'!!!
 

>Even if both Akane was wearing a bathing suit and Ukyou her boy's school
>uniform(as is the case in another not-yet-available-in-English episode
>in which the principal tries to teach Akane to swim),Akane STILL hasn't
>a fraction of Ukyou's good looks
 

Joel and Crow: HEIL UCCHAN!  HEIL UCCHAN!  HEIL UCCHAN!

Tom: You know, I like Ukyou and I've enjoyed some Ukyou/Ranma stories...
but there's such a thing as... well, y'know... OVERKILL.
 

>(no offense intended to Akanites).
 

Crow: <author> But as for YOU, Akane, you'll stay with Ryouga and Akari
and LIKE it!  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Tom: Akanites?  Is that like a new breed of nanites?
 

>Of course,looks aren't the principal reason for my choice of Ranma fiancee:
 

Tom: After all, she cooks one hell of an okonomi....

Crow: GRRRRRRRRRR....

Tom: <bigsweats> Um, that is, she's a hell of a good cook.
 

>IMHO,her only 2 compatible choices for romance are Ranma and
>Ryouga.
 

Joel: <Ryouga> Fiancees are like jello!  There's always room for more!

Crow: Heh.
 

>Pairing her with another guy(particularly Konatsu)is an even far
>bigger no-no than Kunou/Kodachi(which is a big no-no itself because
>it's an incest pairing).
 

Tom: Hey, at least 'Family Stone' had an actual STORY.  What's THIS fic's
excuse?
 

>Besides,I just can't imagine her without her beloved "Ran-chan."
 

All: <singing> Imagine there's no heaven... It's easy if you try.
 

>As you may know,I live in the Sacramento,California region.
 

Crow: <Robin Williams a la Californian> I'm just like, totally here for
a while!
 

>Originally,I intended to have Ryuunosuke's father lost in the Amazon
>rain forest.However,when I was almost done writing this fic,my sister
>and a friend of hers went to go see "Princess Mononoke,"but not before
>getting lost in the middle of downtown Sacramento(several miles from
>the theater showing that movie,in fact)on the way.
 

Joel: 'Okonomiyaki Summer'!  Based on a true *epilogue*!
 

>No,I wasn't making fun of Urusei Yatsura in the last part of the fic.I was
>just making fun of Ryuunosuke's father which reminds me of Genma.
 

Crow: Yeah, Genma's merciless with his teasing of Ryuunosuke's father.
 

>Excluding flames,C&C are welcome.
 

Joel: Gee, where to begin....

Tom: Well, let's see... as Joel mentioned in 'Wet Dream', you might want to
start putting spaces between commas and periods in your fanfics so it
looks more polished and has less of a rushed feel to it.

Crow: Yeah, and you might want to try not repeating certain lines over and
over again, trying to convince us that Ukyou and Ranma are in love
with each other when you've already established that early in the fanfic.  We
KNOW that in this fanfic, unless you say otherwise, they're in love and that's
not going to change.

Joel: Also, Ukyou and Ranma as a couple in this fic just falls totally flat for me.
There's no chemistry at all.  Even when they're kissing each other passionately,
briefly, it feels like they're going through the motions with no real *emotion*.
In my humble opinion, you need to have Ranma and Ukyou do and say more
to show their love that just quick verbal exchanges, then we can start to believe
in them more as a couple.

Tom: Hope that was of some help.
 

>You can find more Ranma and Ukyou fanfics(by myself and other authors)
>on my page(the cabernet sauvignon of Ranma romance pages)
 

Crow: Cabernet Sauvignon?  Isn't that just a fancy smancy name for Champagne?

Tom: Yeah, and this is the Mad Dog 20/20 of fanfics.
 

>devoted to the Tamahome/Miaka of Rumiko Takahashi fandom(seriously).
 

Joel: Nabiki Tendo and Ataru Moroboshi?

Tom: Now, THERE's a couple you don't see too often....
 

>Mike Rhea
>Webmaster of The Ranma and Ukyou Pages!
>http://rei.animenetwork.com/ranchan/
 

Joel: <author> I AM THE WEBMASTER!

Crow: Does that come with a dental plan?
 

>"Besides,since you're so weak,you can't possibly take over the Tendou
>Doujou!Meaning nobody'll care about your engagement to Akane."-
>Ukyou Kuonji,Ranma graphic novel #11,part 7:"The World's Weakest Man"
 

Tom: Bwa ha ha ha ha!

Joel: What's so funny?

Tom: Have you read the story that quote comes from, Joel? It's the one
where Ranma loses his strength, and Ukyo doesn't even think about trying
to cure him. She just assumes that he'll be content to stay weak and
live as her husband.

Joel: So?

Tom: So, this guy who's a fanatical supporter of the Ukyo/Ranma
matchup, is citing an incident that's one of the best arguments
*against* that matchup!

Crow: Sheesh....
 

>Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
>Before you buy.
 

Tom: Woo hoo!  It's over!  Time to make tracks!

Joel: Uh, not quite, Tom....

Tom: Huh?  Oh yeah... THE SHORT... Thanks a bunch, CROW....

Crow: Hey!  I said I was sorry!  Get over it!

Joel: Come on guys, it's just a short.  How bad could it be?

Tom: A lot worse now that you've said that, I'm sure....
 

>DISCLAIMER:None of these characters are mine,and no copyright
>infringement is intended.
 

Joel: <author> Oh, by the way, Mike Rhea is a pen name for Rumiko
Takahashi.

Tom: Shocking, isn't it?
 

>This Christmas themed fic is my first attempt at a WAFFy fic.
 

Crow: You mean 'Okonomiyaki Summmer' *WASN'T* a WAFFy fic?

Tom: <shuddering> Oh lord, we're in for it now... Can you imagine the
kind of fanfic Mike could write when he's *TRYING* to be WAFFy?!?
 

>Enjoy...and happy holidays!
 

Joel: <singing> Happy holidays... to you!
 

>This non-lemon is not to be confused with a lemon from another author
>titled "Mistletoe."
 

All: Dang.
 

>"Under the Mistletoe"
 

Joel: <shudders>

Crow: Thinking about your aunt again?

Joel: Oh, um, well... yeah.

Crow: What, did she have a mustache or something?

Joel: Ummm, let's just say my cheek had a hickey....

Crow: Yikes!
 

>(A Ranma 1/2 spamfic),by Mike Rhea
 

Tom: So WAFFy is automatically considered spam?

Crow: Anything written by this author is considered spam.

Joel: Hey now, come on, Crow, let's give him a fair shake, it's Christmas
after all....

Crow: Alright, alright....
 

>*********************************************************
 

Tom: Think you can catch them all with your tongue?

Crow: What do I look like? Jar Jar Binks?

Tom: Well, you are nearly as annoying.

Crow: HEY!

Joel: Guys....
 

>It was early December,and Japan's Kansai region was paralyzed by a
>unusually violent snowstorm.
 

Tom: The Day Japan Froze.

Joel: Okay, I call no Minnesota jokes.

Crow: Looks like Oyuki's been hitting the sauce again....
 

>Schools and shops were closed,and people were advised not to be outdoors.
 

Joel: <Canadian> Ah, another fine spring day, eh?

Tom: <Canadian> Tell me aboute it!  Too bad everything's closed, eh?  Must
be a Japanese holiday or something....

Joel: <Canadian> Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
 

>That is exactly why Ranma Saotome and his wife,the former Ukyou Kuonji,
 

Joel: The martial artist formally known as Saint....

Tom: Now and forever to be known as 'Yokonomiyaki'
 

>were depressed.They had to close their okonomiyaki shop for the day
>because of the bad weather,and they weren't used to the unusually
>extreme winter weather that was bad enough to drive away even their
>regular customers from their institution in the middle of western
>Kyoto.
 

Crow: Okay, okay!  The weather was bad!  We get it already!

Tom: This IS a nice WAFFy opening, isn't it?
 

>The two lifelong friends were sitting side by side at their
>counter,lamenting the bad weather conditions.
 

Joel: This is going to turn into a Taster's Choice commerical, I just know it.
 

>"Whatever happened to June,July,and August;Ranchan?,"inquired a
>depressed Ukyou,
 

Tom: <Ranma> We used them up in 'Okonomiyaki Summer' remember?

Crow: Yes, just so there's no doubt whatsoever in your minds, Ukyou IS, in
fact, DEPRESSED right now!
 

>who in a major deviation from her normally tomboyish wardrobes,
 

Joel: ...switched to virgin white polyester.

Crow: <Ukyou> Care to visit a few Lounge Lizards, Ranchan?
 

>was wearing a kimono."It was just 4 months ago that you
>were admiring me in a bathing suit.
 

Joel: Let me get this straight. Four months ago it was summer, and now
it isn't, and Ukyo is wondering why?

Tom: Sheesh, and they call Kasumi a ditz.
 

>I try to dress feminine in a season other than summer,and no one is
>able to notice it because they can't go anywhere in this weather."
 

Crow: So Ukyou goes out in winter wearing a kimono?

Joel: <Ukyou> Hey e-e-everybody!  Look how f-f-feminine I am!  <woosh>
ACK!  Damn wind!
 

>"Don't worry,Ucchan,"replied Ranma."The weather may seem depressing,
 

Crow: <Ranma> But it's actually giving us a chance to be in a romantic
setting with little chance of anyone bothering us!  Can't you see the potential
there?

Joel: <Ukyou, whiny> But I wanna show everyone how feminine I
ammmmm...!
 

>but at least you're alone with someone you truly love,my darling
>Ucchan."

>"Thank you,Ran-chan."
 

Joel: <Ranma> Me, on the other hand....
 

>Suddenly,they noticed that they were sitting under a piece of
>mistletoe that was hanging from the ceiling.
 

Joel: <Ukyou> Y'know, we really should have taken that down three
years ago.  It's starting to stink....
 

>They blushed profusely,
 

Tom: Forget it!  I'm NOT doing another Gorilla Monsoon reference!

Joel: You think Mike Rhea cut and pastes certain lines like above to be
used over and over again in his fanfics?

Crow: Yes.
 

>then they began to gaze in each other's eyes.
 

Joel: <Ranma> Your left eye has some yellow crud in it....

Crow: <Ukyou> Oh!  Hand me that fork, will you?
 

>"Ucchan,when I tell you that you are kawaii,it means from the inside out
 

All: NO MATTER WHAT YOU WEAR....
 

>no matter what you wear,"said Ranma.
 

Joel: There you have it!

Crow: <Ukyou> Really?  What if I started wearing real fur?

Tom: <Ranma> I'd have to spraypaint you, but I'd still love you.
 

>"Additionally,when I told you that I truly loved you more than okonomiyaki,
 

Crow and Tom: <starting humming gospel>

Joel: <Ranma, singing> When I told you that I loved you... With those tender
words I spoke....

All: <singing> I-WAS-ONLY-KIDDING!!!

Joel: <Ranma, singing> Now, can't you take a joke?
 

>that meant forever.And I want it to mean forever,my love."
 

Crow: <Ukyou> Meaning?

Joel: <Ranma> Forever and ever.

Crow: Meaningful?

Joel: <Ranma> Forevermore.
 

>"Ran-chan,you're the only one who I ever want to be stranded with
>during a snowstorm,"replied Ukyou."
 

Tom: <Ranma> Wow, really?

Joel: <Ukyou> Welllll... okay, you and a really cute pizza delivery guy.
But you'd DEFINITELY be first choice!
 

>Even if we ARE sitting under mistletoe."
 

Tom: <Ukyou> ...that doesn't mean I have to kiss you!  Maybe I just
want to talk about my feelings tonight!  You got a problem with that?

Crow: <Ranma> Oh... no, that sounds... great... really....
 

>"True,Ucchan.If I had known in the first place that you were 100%
>woman,I wouldn't have chosen okonomiyaki and fallen for my pop's dirty
>trick in the first place."
 

Joel: <Ukyou> AUUUUUUGH!!!  THAT'S IT!!! I'VE HAD IT!!!

Crow: <Ranma> U-Ucchan?  What's wrong?

Joel: <Ukyou> Listen here, Mike Rhea, I appriciate you putting me with Ranchan,
I really do, but could you at least give him something ORIGINAL to say, instead
of the SAME damn speech, EVERY SINGLE FANFIC!!!  I feel like I'm with a
frigging Ranma ROBOT, for pete's sake!  This isn't romantic! It's boring as
hell and quite frankly, it's starting to become CREEPY!  I'm getting out of
here before I lose my mind completely!

Crow: <Ranma> But Ucchan, when I tell you that you're kawaii, it means from
the inside out, no matter what you wear....

Joel: <Ukyou> *CLANG*  SHUT UP!  JUST SHUT UP!!!  *CLANG!*
*CLANG!* *CLANG!*

Crow: <Ranma> C-come, let us k-k-kiss passionately,briefly....

Joel: <Ukyou> KEEP AWAY FROM ME!!!  NOOO!!!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
 

>"I love you,Ran-chan."

>"I love you too,Ucchan."
 

Crow and Joel: <Ranma and Ukyou> Then we have our answer!  We've
walking on air!
 

>Though Mother Nature had literally snowed on a day's profits,Ranma and
>Ukyou,as usual,found company in the form of each other.
 

Tom: Sounds like even Mike's getting sick of writing these things....
 

>They began kissing very passionately...under the mistletoe.
 

Crow: Because anywhere else just wouldn't be right.
 

>**Music:"September,"by Earth,Wind,and Fire**
 

Joel: Odd song choice for a fic based in December with Snow....
 

>THE END
 

Tom: <singing> It's the end of the short as we know it and I feel fine!
 

>*********************************************************
 

Joel: <singing> Remember - how the stars stole the night away, yeah yeah yeah....
 

>AUTHOR'S NOTES:As you may know,of the fics that I've written,this is
>one of the few that concentrate exclusively on a Ranma/Ukyou romance.
 

(Joel and the Bots look at each other and then crack up, bursting into
hysterical laughter for several minutes.  Finally, they attempt to regain
their composure....)

Joel: <gasping> Oh... Oh man, that was a good one....

Tom: <laughing> Mike must have written his last few Ranma 1/2 fanfics
with his eyes closed if he believes that....

Crow: <author> I decided all the okonomiyaki and guest stars were getting
in the way of my primary objective... telling you how much Ranma and
Ukyou simply LOVE each other!
 

>Yes,this isn't one of my longer fanfics;but rather,my first attempt at
>both a Christmas-themed fic and a WAFFy fic was intended to be a short
>romantic piece featuring anime's original half-man
 

Joel: Futaba-Kun?
 

>and his kawaii otemba.
 

Crow: Cute Tomboy?  You mean Akane?!?

Tom: Wow, Mike was actually willing to write a Ranma/Akane fanfic?
 

>Additionally,unlike my previous post-manga fics,none of the
>other cast members appear in this shortfic.I decided to leave it to
>the imagination of the reader whoever they pair up the other characters
>(Akane,Ryouga,Akari,Tsubasa,Konatsu,etc.)with.
 

Joel: <author> But Ranma and Ukyou will always be together... FOREVER.

Tom: <Ranma> No matter what she wears....

Crow: <Ukyou> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
 

>Excluding flames,C&C are welcome.
 

Tom: This is C&C!  Really!  We're just commenting on his fic in a different
way than usual!  Nothing wrong with that, is there?!?

Joel: Relax, Tom.  He said 'Excluding flames' not MSTings....
 

>You can find more Ranma and Ukyou fanfics(by yours truly and other
>authors)on my page(the cabernet sauvignon of Ranma romance sites)
 

Tom: Really? What's the cabernet sauvigon of Ukyou romance sites then?
 

>devoted to the Angel/Buffy of Rumiko Takahashi fandom(for real).
 

Joel: <author> Honest!  The website is genuine!  Hey, would I lie to you?
 

>Mike Rhea
>Webmaster of The Ranma and Ukyou Pages!
 

Crow: ...and resident Ping Pong Champion!
 

>http://rei.animenetwork.com/ranchan/
 

Joel: <Rei> Hey, it's MY animenetwork!  Where's my royalties?  WHERE'S
MY ROYALITIES?!?

Tom: Whew!  It's finally over!  Now GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Joel: Hold your horses, I'm coming already....

(Joel picks up Tom and follows Crow out of the theater)
 

* * *
 

SATELLITE OF LOVE
 

 "Bring out the box!"

        Crow did so and Joel reached inside to grab a bunch of fan
letters and began to read them out loud.

        "As always, to protect the privacy of the people who wrote in,
we've left off the last name and e-mail address of the senders.  Don't
worry, they're all genuine,"  Tom pointed out.

 "Out first letter comes to us from Kate and she writes...."
 

*Hey! I know you get this all the time, but I'm a huge fan of your riffings
(ever since the bizarre and twisted 'Artemis' Lover' *let's out an
involuntary shudder at the thought*) My favorite, I think, was Bishoujo
Senshi Royal Rumble. There was just somthing very odd about the whole premise
of the fic....Anyways, I'm a fic writer myself (of the Sailor Moon variety)
and think MSTings are a cool version of c&c that most authors don't
understand. I'd love to get riffed, the way I see it is that if the fic's
that bad, at least you've contributed to the fanfiction universe by showing
people what *not* to do ;-)And I have a grudging admiration for writers who
manage, time and time again, to stun with stupidity and disgustingly wrong
lemons. *thinks Oscar and PJ* Oh well, I'm getting a bit off subject here.
Keep up the good work! Ja ne!

^_~  Kate*
 

 "And thanks for the great letter, Kate!  We appreciate it!"  Tom
exclaimed.

 Joel reached into the box again.  "Our next letter comes to us from
Aaron regarding our MSTing of 'The Kidnapping' and he writes...."
 

*I truly *like* your take on Gilbert and Sullivan at the beginning of the
second part of this MSTing. I like all your MSTings, but this one is
truly inspired. Keep up the good work!*
 

 "We love to sing so it was our pleasure, Aaron!"  Crow replied

 "Though, of course, some of us are better than others."  Tom
replied, a touch of arrogance in his voice.

 "Ah, cheer up, Tom.  Someday you'll be as good as Joel and me...."
Crow replied.

 "Well, thanks, I... HEY!"  Tom exclaimed while Crow chuckled.

 "Our next letter comes to us from Daniel and he writes...."

*Once again, you have done a wonderful job of capturing the charecters from
MST. The letter from Keener summed up most of what I would like to
compliment you on. The charecters grow, learn, and even draw from their
experiances on the show. Oddly enough, your MSTings of fanfics are MUCH
more entertaining than the show has become. Perhaps I am just tired of
seeing the same episodes again and again each weekend, but your characters
seem fresher (no sandwich bag jokes) and more alive then the ones on the
show.

 Take care, and keep the MSTs comming, please!

Daniel*
 

 "No worries there, Daniel.  Dr. Forrester isn't likely to give up on
us so easily, but hey, it's nothing we can't handle, right, guys?"  Joel asked
with a smile.

 "Oh sure, Joel.  Other than losing eight heads and being repeatedly
driven to the brink of insanity since this frigging series started...."  Tom
muttered.

 "Hey, you know what they say, Tom.  Whatever doesn't kill you..."
Joel trailed off.

 "Oh yeah, that reminds me, I got some steel bars I need bent...."
Crow wisecracked.

 Joel chuckled as he reached once more into the box.  "Okay, we
have time for one more letter.  This one come to us from Malcolm, regarding
our recent MSTing of 'Tortured Echo'...."
 

*Dear Warren,

I just want to so what an amazing job you di with this MSTing you did. I'm
still laughing over some of the jokes.

>The battles raged on for several minutes. Then for several more minutes.
>Then

Tom: ...even MORE minutes.

Its just like watching the show. I saw your first your work when I read your
post in the ffml for Tortured Echo. Now there's a fic thsucked real bad! (No
offense to the author)  But thanks to you, the story was readable. You obviously
get lots of letters telling you how good a job you do, but I feel its important you
know. In all, please keep up the good work. I'll be sure to read your next post!

Sincerely,
Malcolm*
 

 "Thanks, Malcolm! And Trakal was a good sport about it so she
deserves kudos too!"  Crow replied.

 "Well, that's about it for this week.  Thanks to everyone who wrote
in and keep those letters coming!  We love em!"  Tom chimed in.

 "What'da think, sirs?"  Joel inquired.
 

* * *
 

DEEP 13
 

 "Ha!  Who needs letters when we have you three to provide
us with all the amusement I could ask for through deep hurting...." Dr.
Forrester chuckled as Frank helped him back into his old green labcoat.
"Thanks, Frank.  By the way, you really think I look more evil as I was
before?" Dr. Forrester inquired as Frank handed him his old green glasses.

 "Dr. F, I think you're evil from the inside out, no matter what you
wear,"  Frank replied solemnly.

 "Why, thank you, Frank!  Why don't you push the button and knock
off a little early."

 "Whatever you say, FORRESTER... OF... THE FU... *THWACK!!*
YAHHHAAHHHAAHH!!!"

 "Meat hook, Frank.  PAIN."
 

...AND THE MSTINGS
            CONTINUE...
 

I hope you enjoyed this and C&C is very welcome.  (fcasper@yesic.com)

Author's Notes: Hello again!  I'm currently working on several MSTings
right now and I've been jumping from one to the next whenever I get stuck.
So far, it's working pretty well and I hope to have my first Pokemon MSTing
with Jamie Jeans a.k.a. JOLT! out by Christmas if possible.  Also, I'm working
with the Flashman on the premiere episode of a new MST3K style series
featuring wrestlers from the WWF as well as another SM/WWF crossover
with Elektra.  It's going to be a busy holiday for me this year, but hey, it's
fun!   :)

I've been MSTing for over two years now and I want to thank each and every
person who's send me words of support and encouragement and who have
helped me throughout these last two years.  I treasure every piece of fan mail
I receive and I consider it a great honor that some people have dedicated their
MSTings to me and tell me that I helped encourage them to start MSTing.  To
all of you, thank you from the bottom of my heart and I hope I can continue to
inspire and make you laugh for a long time to come.  :)

Also, I'd like to give personal thanks, once again, to Gary Kleppe, whose
C&C and suggestions are always appreciated.  I can't say enough nice things
about this guy!  :)  If you haven't had a chance to check out his latest work
'I Dream of Ranma', you can reach him at kleppe@execpc.com or his webpage
at http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics and I'm sure he'll be happy to send
the story along to you.

Finally I'd like to thank Mike Rhea for writing 'Okonomiyaki Summer' and
'Under the Mistletoe' and giving me his blessing to MST them as well as a
lot of material to work with.   I hope you're not offended.  It's all meant in
good fun.  :)
Sincerely,

Megane 6.7

A MSTing for all Seasons
http://www.nabiki.com/mst
A full archive of all Mystery Science Theater 6.7 episodes, Megane 6.7
fanfiction, and collaborations!

Shizen's Versatile Home Page V3.0
http://svhp.webjump.com/  (Contains links to my MSTings and fanfics)
(Alternate site: http://www.tass.org/fanfic/MST3k/)

Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/
 

SEASON ONE
------------------

101- "GAMES" by Artemis  (SM Lemon)
102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER"  (Original Draft)  by Oscar  (SM Lemon)
103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA"  by The Flashman
(SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER)
104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker  (SM Fanfic)
w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin  (R1/2 Fanfic)
105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave  (R1/2 Fanfic)
106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson  (Nuku Nuku Fanfic)
107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton
(La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover)
108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave  (R1/2 Fanfic)
109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky
(SM/WWF Crossover)
w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon  (SM/RL Crossover)
110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER
CHRISTMAS" by Dr. Thinker  (SM Christmas Fanfic)

SEASON TWO
-------------------
201- "THAT GIRL"  PT. 1-2  by Oscar  (SM Lemon)
202- "VIRGIN WARRIOR SAILOR MOON" by Umino  (SM Lemon)
203- "*R*P*M*" by Flynn  (SM/SPAWN Crossover)
204- "RANKO'S LIFE" PT. 1-2  by Hitomi Ichinohei  (R1/2 Fanfic)
205- "TRAPPED" by Mr_Jazz  (SM Lemon)
206- "OSCAR TOON"  PT. 1-4 by Oscar  (SM/DBZ/WB Crossover)
207- "CALIFORNIA DREAMING" by Shakari
(Mutiple Crossover Lemon)
208- "A RANMA 1/2 FANFIC" PT. 1-2 by Sheep  (R1/2 Fanfic)
209- "TRIANGLE TANGLE" by CATS  (SM Lemon)
210- "URUSEI YATSURA: THE KIDNAPPING" by Shutaro Mendou
(UY Lemon)

SEASON THREE
----------------------
301- "A WET DREAM COME TRUE" by Mike Rhea  (R1/2 Lemon)
302- "TORTURED ECHO" PT. 1-4 by Trakal  (R1/2 Fanfic)
303- "RANMA KILLS!" PT. 1-2 by Sir Asayogure  (R1/2 Fanfic)
304- "OKONOMIYAKI SUMMER" by Mike Rhea  (R1/2 Fanfic)
w/short "UNDER THE MISTLETOE" by Mike Rhea  (R1/2 Fanfic)
305- "XMAS SPECIAL: A CHRISTMAS FIT FOR A POKEMON"
by Dr. Thinker  (Pokemon Christmas Fanfic)
306- "9-BALL DREAMS" PT. 1-2 by Mr_Jazz  (SM Crossover Lemon)
307- "WINTER" by Joseph Palmer  (R1/2 Fanfic)
308- "UKYO GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES" PT. 1-2 by R_Vincent
(R1/2 Lemon)

SHORTY!
-------------
101- SUBLIMINALLY SEDUCE WOMEN INSTANTLY!
102- THE UGLIEST WOMEN ON THE NET!
103- PHEROMONES!
104- THE INTERNET SPY AND YOU!!

OTHER MSTINGS I'VE CONTRIBUTED TO
---------------------------------------------------------
"DIMISIONAL TROUBLE" by Dr. Thinker  (SM Fanfic)
"MOONDUSTED" by Stephen Ratliff  (SM/TNG Crossover)

Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/

"THE COUNTESS CHRONICLES" by Lin Lin  (SM Dark Lemon)
"9 1/2 CHIPMUNKS" by Toon Dreams  (Rescue Rangers Yaoi Lemon)

Lefty's MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/MSTings/index.htm

'MYSTERY WRESTLING THEATER 3000', POST 105: DOUBLE TROUBLE!
(Two interviews with the Ultimate Warrior and '3:16 Rulzs!' by Oracle)

Website Number 9 MSTings
http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml

"THE DAY OF EMERGENCE" by Jeffrey Lee
(Ranma 1/2/Eddings/SM Crossover)

"REDHEADS" by Robert Haynie
(Slayers/Ranma 1/2 Crossover)

Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page
http://www.akane.org/gary/comics.html

OTHER GREAT WEBPAGES WORTH VISITING

Zoogz's Fanfiction and Fandom Page
http://www.nav.to/Zoogz

The Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong
http://www.anime.sobhrach.com\~jeffwong\index.html

'Suicide Blast' by: Keener
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/3342/Suicide.html
Additional links for Keener's stuff
-- http://tmffa.com/
-- http://www.redrival.com/myrriden/index.html

Flashman's Flash Point
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/3105/

JOLT!!!
http://members.home.net/jolt.caffiene/welcome.htm

Website Number 9 MSTings
http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml

Lord Carnage's Cursed Fanboys Page!
http://carnage.fanfic.org

A Sailor Moon Romance
http://moonromance.simplenet.com/

Zen's Fanfiction Page
http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html

Webdragon's Lair
http://members.tripod.com/~WebDragon/

Sean Gaffney's Webpage
http://www.thekeep.org/~sean/index.html

>"Ucchan,when I tell you that you are kawaii,it means from the inside out
>no matter what you wear,"said Ranma."
 
 
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c) 1999 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights
reserved.
 
Keep Circulating the Fanfics....