*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be....) "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON ONE) EPISODE 3: SAILOR JUPITER VS GODZILLA (A Sailor Moon/Godzilla Crossover MSTing) MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7 This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, games, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc.... Sailor Moon is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the distributors of her work. Godzilla is the property of Toho Studios. "Sailor Jupiter V.S Godzilla" is the property of The Flashman and he's welcome to it. I do not intend to offend him for making fun of his work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;) This MSTing is rated PG-13 for mature content. THE HOLOCABANA 10:22 HOURS "Damn, those alien bastards are going to pay for shooting up my ride...." Joel grumbled to himself as he slowly made his way along the roof. He noticed several gas tanks nearby a fan and fired two rounds at them, causing them to explode and take out the blades of the fan, allowing him to enter and ride the air shaft down to street level. Joel carefully looked around him for enemies. Finding none, he carefully made his way towards a large wooden crate.... Sudden the hissing sound of hoverjets could be heard coming towards him. Instantly, Joel ran fast and hid behind the crates for cover just as an alien came into view. Joel waited until the alien was in range and then let him have it with his gun, emptying a full clip before the alien collapsed to the ground, dead. Joel wished he could have taken the alien's jetpack but he had to hurry if he was going to survive the next few minutes. He jumped on top of the crates and instantly regretted it when an alien shot him through one of the windows. "Damn it!" Joel cursed inwardly as he fired another volley at the window and then made his way up on the ledge. He stepped through the window and saw the would-be assassin's dead carcass. Taking a moment to grab some extra ammo on the mattress, Joel was about to leave when he suddenly remembered something. "Isn't there supposed to be two aliens in here?" he wondered to himself as he made his way over to a movie poster, advertising an XXX rated film called "Attack of the Bleached Blonde Biker Bimbos." He placed his hand against it, triggering the secret switch and causing the wall to open.... Only to find himself dead on the floor, the victim of a shotgun blast to the chest. Inside the space where the poster used to be, hovered Tom Servo with a special attachment to hold the shotgun for him. Although Tom's head was made out of a gumball machine, Joel had the impression he was smirking. "That's three in a row, Joel. If you trying to lull me into a false sense of security, you've succeeded." Tom observed sarcastically. "Sarcasm noted and appreciated." Joel replied as he got to his feet, the chest wound magically disappearing. "But I'll even the score eventually...." "If you say so, Joel." Tom chuckled. "By the way, have you seen Crow around or did you actually manage to get him before I got you?" "Nope, he's still...." Joel began. "INCOMING!!!" Tom screamed and zipped back into the space just as a large shell came through the window and exploded. Joel walked over to another window and saw Crow T. Robot standing on a ledge in front of the "Innocent?" sign. Joel and Tom had fought long enough for Crow to get to the hidden bazooka and he was now firing it at will. Joel gave him a wave and then turned his attention to the poster, Tom was hiding behind. "Since I'm dead, I think I'll hang around in the bar till you guys finish up, okay?" Joel said. "Okay, Joel. Catch you later." Tom's voice responded from behind the poster. "By the way, can you drop your ammo before you go?" "Come on, Tom, that's cheating." Joel protested. "Oh, all right! Leave me here to die then." Tom replied sarcastically. "Okay." Joel smiled as he called out. "Magic Voice, send me to the bar in Episode 1, Level 2 and no monsters okay?" The atmosphere shifted from the inside of an apartment to the noisy bar. The strobe lights were flashing and Joel winced from the volume of the music. "Magic Voice, Can you get rid of the lights and change the music? Just play something relaxing but not dull." "Do you wish to remove the exotic dancers as well?" Magic Voice asked. Joel thought about it. Then he thought about it some more. "Nah." he finally replied. A moment later the red/blue lights vanished and the ear-piercing music died down. Joel took a seat near the center stage as a well endowed dancer came up from the floor and began her tease. Joel was just beginning to relax when Gypsy's voice suddenly came over the intercom. "Guys? I hate to bother you but...." Joel sighed. "Don't tell me. Let me guess...." * * * THE SATELLITE OF LOVE Joel walked towards the bridge, along with a sulking Crow and a triumphant Tom who was currently explaining to Joel how he had managed to get the drop on Crow. "You cheated!" Crow protested. "You used your hoverjets to knock me off my feet and shot me in the back when I was down!" "Hey, I don't have a big foot so I have to use what I have." Tom replied. "Besides, it's a deathmatch. Anything goes!" "I still say you cheated!" Crow replied. "Come on guys, the Mads are calling." Joel said as they entered the bridge area. Dr. Clayton Forrester's face was already on the viewscreen. "Ah, Joel... robots... sorry to interrupt your little game in progress but I'm afraid it's time once again for me to show off my creativity and for you to see yet another bad fanfic. This one isn't a lemon like the first two. After you survived a fic like...." Dr. Forrester shuddered. "...Artemis's Lover... I've decided to go back to the basics. But before I get into that, let's do our invention exchange. I believe I'll let you go first this time, Joel.... "Okay, Dr. F." Joel replied as he held up a package of blue pens and took one out of the box. "I invented this for everyone who can never find a pen when they need it and have to resort to the nub of a yellow pencil crayon because they're too lazy to look for one around the house. All you have to do is click the end of it four times and it will automatically generate a homing signal." Joel clicked the pen four times and then continued. "Then if the pen is taken out of a certain area...." Joel walked away from the table towards the theater door. After moving a considerable distance away, the pen began to beep rapidly. Joel moved back towards the table and the pen immediately ceased beeping. "It'll keep beeping until it's returned to it's preprogrammed area. All you have to do is put a pen in every room and program it and then you'll never have to look for another one again." Dr. F hummed. "Not bad... But what happens when the pen runs out of ink?" Joel reached behind the table and placed a black box on the table. "They're refillable sir. Just place them in this machine and in seconds, the ink is replenished. The machine holds enough ink to refill 10 of these pens for at least five years. I've decided to call it *The Inker Signature Pager Collection* or ISPC for short. What do you think, sir?" "An interesting, if somewhat dull, invention. Now, my invention on the other hand... Frank?" Dr. Forrester gestured off screen. A moment later, TVs Frank wheeled in a large television sat on a platform with wheels. Dr. Forrester turned his attention back to Joel and the bots. "Now, some of you may be familiar with the Cartoon Network and other channels of that nature, allowing it's viewers to recapture their youth through old reruns of Scooby Doo, Tex Avery, The Jetsons, and Voltron: Defender of the Universe, to name a few...." "What we've done...." Frank continued. "...is set up a 24 hour cartoon channel of our own featuring cartoons that failed to gain lasting popularity. We're talking reruns of Punky Brewster!" Dr. Forrester exclaimed. "Lost episodes of The Pac Man Show...." Frank chimed in. "The Snorks...." Dr. F added. "The Get Along Gang!" Frank sneered. Dr. F and Frank took turns shouting out the titles. "Captain N: The Game Master!" "Kidd Video!" "The NEW Speed Racer!" "The NEW Archies!" "Street Frogs!" "And even... MR. T!" Dr. Forrester and Frank said at the same time, grinning at one another. "And since nobody holds any interest in these failed cartoons...." Dr. Forrester continued. "We'll be able to sell them dirt cheap to syndication networks throughout the world and unleash them on the unwitting public, softening their minds until we finally unleash the fanfic that breaks your spirit and then we will rule the world! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!" Dr. Forrester broke into laughter again, this time joined by Frank. They finally stopped after a minute. Dr. Forrester wiped a tear from his eye as he sighed. "Ah, I'm brilliant, I know it and I clapped my hands...." He turned his attention once again to the screen. "Today experiment should bring back some fond memories of all those *Gamera Vs.* films I made you watch in the old days. Come to think of it, I believe you saw a couple of Godzilla films as well...." The bots and Joel looked at each other. "You're sending us a Godzilla fanfic?" They all asked at once, looking bored. "It's a Sailor Moon/Godzilla crossover. No, actually it's a Sailor Jupiter/Godzilla crossover. I think the author has a thing for her or something...." "Good, we were getting tired of fics starring Mina...." Tom remarked. "I wasn't!" Crow retorted. "It's not a lemon either...." Crow's face fell. "Anyway, enjoy *Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla* fellows and remember... If anyone pukes on the floor again, you're cleaning it up! You know who you are!" Crow would have blushed if he were capable. He settled for shrugging. "And if anyone decides to have their head explode again, they have to pick up the pieces!" Dr. F added his image disappeared from the screen.... * * * DEEP 13 As the screen blinked out. Dr. Forrester turned to his assistant. "Put the hurt on them, Frank." "Consider the salt in the wound, Dr. F." Frank replied. * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE Joel took his ISCP off the table and carefully put it away while Tom and Crow continued to argue about the boundaries of their game in the Holocabana when alarms and sirens suddenly rang out. "OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!" Joel cried out. (Door 6: It splits into six long strips that retract into the doorframe.) (Door 5: It's a steel door. A wheel in it's center turns and it opens.) (Door 4: It falls towards you, missing your foot by millimeters.) (Door 3: It's a revolving glass door.) (Door 2. It's made of bees. They fly away as you approach.) (Door 1: It swirls open from the center.) (Door .7: The camera pans downward where a small hatch pops open.) Joel walks into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right. >SAILOR JUPITER >V.S. >GODZILLA >THE BIGGER THEY ARE.... Crow: The longer the title? Tom: The harder it is to fit through doorways. Joel: It's not the size that counts.... >********************************************************* Tom: What is this obsession fanfic writers have with using snowflakes at the beginning and end of their fanfics? Joel: Maybe they all live in Barbados? Crow: Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow.... >Hi! Flashman here Crow: They call him FLASH, FLASH, FLASH, FLASH, FLASH... BEAGLE! Joel: Let's hope this fanfic isn't a flash in the pan.... >to bring you the mismatch of the century. We're >talkin' MAJOR mismatch here. Crow: Spiderman Vs. Superman? Tom: Gosunkugi Vs. Shampoo? Joel: Catkiller Vs The FFML? >First of all, I will be using the new Godzilla timeline to tell this story. >(Godzilla 85 to Godzilla V.S. Detroyer) Joel: So this takes place before 'Godzilla Vs. Megalon' or after 'Godzilla Vs. The Sea Monster'? Tom: That's the great thing about Godzilla films, it's not the timeline, dubbing, special effects or plot that makes them so great, it's the ambiance. Crow: That's deep, Tom. >One word of warning if your not a Sailor Jupiter fan, Tom: Tough. >like my first FanFic "Personality Split" Crow: Hey, this guy must be related to Roy Rim! >none of the other Sailors will be here. Tom: Looks like the Venus 5 senshi were snubbed again. Crow: Good. >This story will have Mako and Mako alone. Crow: Mako! Tom: Pluto! Crow: Mako! Tom: Pluto! >If you have any suggestions, any comments on stuff I've got posted >already, any complaints, please, Please, PLEASE, E-Mail me Tom: Geez, you think he's lonesome tonight? Crow: S... Somebody talk to me... for the love of god! Joel: Say, please.... >at MXJK67C@Prodigy.com. All: MXJ... K67... @Prodigy.com.... >Legal things: Godzilla is the trademark of Toho Studios. Sailor Jupiter is >the property of Naoko Takeuchi. On With The Show!!! All: Why don't we get things started.... >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Crow: Dashes. Seventy-six of them. Tom: Must be a hundred and ten spaces right behind. Joel: Trouble with a capital T, which rhymes with G, and that stands for Godzilla! >(As our story opens we see the city of Tokyo. Joel: Is it day or night? Crow: Day for night, I think. Tom: This is the city.... >Suddenly, the loud, whinning, unmistakable sound Joel: C-ko? Crow: Usagi? Tom: Soun? Joel: Urkel? Crow: Princess Vi? Tom: Chibi-usa? >of an evacuation siren goes off. Also we can hear someone >over some kind of P.A. system saying.....) Tom: This is the principal. Would anyone who knows the identity of the person who pulled the fire alarm for the billionth time, please turn his ass in for a $50 reward so we may give him a severe beating. That is all. Crow: To all members of the procrastinators club. Today's meeting has been canceled due to lack of interest. Thank you. Joel: Will the owner of a 1994 Ranma 1/2 lemon fanfic, "Okonomiyaki Orgy" please come down to the FFML to pick up your C&C.... >VOICE: Evacuate imediatly! Godzilla has been sighted in the Tokyo >Bay area and is moving towards the city! Evacuate in a clam Crow: But it's too clammy in there! Tom: What about Pearl? We can't just leave her behind! Joel: Oh, clam up, you clowns! >and orderly fashion! Do not panic! Tom: Do not be alarmed when Godzilla approaches you. Ignore his footsteps as he comes closer. Shrug off your doubts when he breathes fire at you. Put on a happy face when you're a pile of goo on the bottom of his pinkie.... >(Naturaly, everybody IS panicing. Joel: Naturally. >People grab bags, fill cardboard boxes with momentos they can't part >with, Crow: It's the LA Riots all over again! Tom: It's my industrial strength hair-dryer... AND I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT!!! Joel: Quick! I've got to find my brown paper packages tied up with string! They are a few of my favorite things! >grab children by the arms, Joel: Oh, they're arming themselves. Crow: Talk about a call to arms..., Tom: Isn't that armful to the kiddies? Crow: What about those poor children that have no arms. They'll be left behind! Joel: Ah, what's the arm? >and run, get on trains, planes, and automobiles, Tom: Meeting up with John Candy and Steve Martin. >and generaly do whatever it takes to get out of the city before the giant >bohemoth arives.) Tom: Never mind the giant bohemoth! What about Godzilla? >(However, the scean focuses on an apartment complex and one >apartment in particular. Joel: 222? Crow: 3-G? Tom: Ikkoku-kan? >In this apartment we see a tall, green eyed, brown ponytailed, >girl. Her name is MAKOTO. Tom: They call her ma ma ma ma MAKOTO! Joel: Man, that MAKOTO is one bad mother.... Bots: Shut your mouth! Joel: Hey I'm just talking about MAKOTO, can you dig it? >At this time she is furiously packing bags and mutttering words >under her breath which are not fit for print.....) Tom: So they're incomprehensible? >Makoto:(VERY angrily)[Unprintable] [Unprintable] [Unprintable] >[Unprintable] monster, [Unprintable] [Unprintable] [Unprintable], >why'd it have to come here?!? Crow: Allow me to fill in the blanks.... Joel: Careful, Crow.... Crow: *Ahem* Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid monster, Stupid, Stupid, Stupid, why'd it have to come here?!? Joel: Somehow I expected more. Tom: *Makoto swore to herself* would have been much simpler. >(Mako finishes packing and grabs her bags. Crow: WHAT?!? Joel: Not *those* kind of bags, Crow. Crow: Whew! Much relief! >Two duffle bags on each arm, a suitcase in each hand, another duffle >bag around her neck, and another clenched firmly in her teeth.) Tom: Whew! I'm all finished... Oh no! Where did I put my wand? Crow: When fleeing from a big green lizard, always travel light.... >Makoto:(Thinking) I would much prefer to fight this thing than run >away, but Luna says that, "To destroy Godzilla would take more >energy than it did to destroy Queen Metallia... and you know how >much THAT took." Tom: Yeah, it took a sappy, long winded song, a colorful light show and a crescent moon wand with a cubic zirconium gem. Joel: The battles in Sailor Moon are repetitive, aren't they? Tom: Sailor Moon has nothing on Drag-on Ball. Crow: WHAT?! Dragon Ball's battles are way better! Tom: Says you. >I sure do Luna, Joel: Huh? Is Luna in Makoto's head or something? Tom: I think she's talking to herself. Crow: The mind snaps when confronted with Godzilla. >it's a moot point anyway since Usagis father decided >that they should leave a week earlier. I guess his parinoia paid off >for a change. Tom: So Usagi's father advises the scouts? Crow: I'd be paranoid too if my fourteen year old daughter was dating a college student.... Joel: He must have seen "She's Out Of Control" about 50 times now.... >(Makoto rushes out the door with her bags whipping in all directions. Crow: Cool! S&M with tote bags! Tom: Whip it... Whip it good.... >As she reaches the street she sees a large contingiant of tanks, jeeps, Joel: Check it out, the author's trying to use a vocabulary word. >vehicles with large devices that look like satalite dishes on top Crow: I'll bet they get the Sci-Fi Channel! Joel: While they're fleeing for their lives, they can watch reruns of Momma's Family.... Tom: Ewww.... >[Mazer Tanks], jet planes, and all sorts of military hardware moving to >face Godzilla. Loud explosions can be heard comming from the Bay >area.) Tom: Oh, they must have had baked beans for lunch. Crow: Either that or they're listening to the 1812 Overture. >Makoto:(Thinking) Good luck you guys, you're going to need it. Tom: Heh heh heh... suckers. Joel: Hey, I'm a sailor senshi, I don't do mutated lizards. >(Now we see GODZILLA himself. Tom: The Lizard, The Myth, The Legend. >He is swiming in the bay, approching the city rapidly. Joel: Spellchecker! Try using it! >He is not unopposed though, the Japanese navy is dumping everything >they've got at him. Crow: Okay, you fiend, let's see how you handle the *Turd* battalion! >The ships and helicopters are firing shells, rockets, torpedos, and >bullets. They all explode against Godzilla's reptilian skin, >causing absolutly no damage. Tom: Where's Lo Wang when you need him? >He roars in anger at the foolish little mites who think they can hurt >him. Tom: You aren't *mighty* enough to hurt me! Joel: I'm sure he's hOWLing with laughter. >He rears back his head and then shoots it forward Crow: Cool! He's modular! >releasing his patented burst of blue flame. Tom: Blue Flame (C) by Toho, All Rights Reserved.... Crow: Godzilla must have some pretty big matches to light a fart that big.... >Everything in its path is obliterated and Godzilla roars in triumph as >he continues his march to Tokyo.) Crow: The mutant comes marching step by step, Hurrah... Hurrah.... >Solider1:(Watching from nearby and putting down a pair of binoculars >as he turns toward his friend, SOLIDER2) Tom: I'll bet they were beaten up a lot in grade school.... Crow: They're either a new wrestling team or a new children's show. >Did you see THAT?!? Tom: Huh? Oh, sorry, I was trimming my nails. Did something happen? >Solider2:(Nods nervously) Yeah. >Solider1: Afraid? Tom: Of course I am, you idiot! With names like Solider 1 and 2, how much do you think our lives are worth?!? Crow: Scared? Not at all! I'm just losing control of my bodily functions because I feel like it! >Solider2:(Laughs nervously) Terrified. >Solider1:(Pats a Sailor Moon braclet on his right wrist.) Don't be. You >forget we have the Sailor Senshi on our side. Crow: Yep, as long as we stay strong and buy tons of Sailor Moon merchandise like this bracelet, we'll live a long and happy life. Tom: Proof of a happier life through fanfiction.... >Solider2: I never thought that you'd believe in THAT myth. Crow: Yeah, live in the real world, like Godzilla! >Solider1: I tell ya they're real. Joel: As sure as my name is Solider 1, the sailor senshi are out there! Crow: Tom: This fanfic is out there. >Solider2: Man, if they were, do you think they would be able to go >anywhere without getting mobbed. I mean there all babes, especialy >Sailor Jupiter. Tom: Yeah, I'm sure it's Makoto's dream to be admired by the unknown soldier. Crow: My mother told me never to hang around army privates.... Joel: Something tells me I should be scolding you for that.... >Voice of a General:(Yelling) YOU TWO! BACK TO YOUR >REGIMENTS! BE PREPAIRED TO MOVE TO POSSITION >DELTA! Joel: (looks around for the source of the voice) Tom: POSITION ALPHA, BETA, AND GAMMA ARE BEING GUARDED BY THE IMPORTANT SOLDIERS SO HAUL YOUR EXPENDABLE ASSES OVER TO DELTA, NOW MISTER!!! Crow: Ah, the general's all talk. >Both Soliders: Yes Sir! Joel: Whatever you say, General Casper, sir! >(Back to Makoto. We now see her running through the streets. It's >quite obvious that she's lost.) Crow: I can't understand it! That cute boy with the yellow and black bandanna said the exit was this way.... >Mako:(Thinking and looking left) Crow: Yeah, but can she rub her tummy and pat her head at the same time? >Maybe it's this way. (Looking right) ...or maybe that way. Joel: All roads lead to roam. Crow: Nice pun! Tom: I've been walking these streets so long... >(Looking forward) Oh, I'm never going to find my way out of >the city to the evacuation center. Tom: Here's some advice. Look for something that somewhat resembles the Jolly Green Giant and then run AWAY from it. >(Loud, rythmic booming sounds, like footsteps, along with screaming >is heard. Crow: It's the remake of Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo! Joel: No, it's STOMP on their world tour! Tom: Giant steps are what you take.... >Makoto looks in the direction of the sounds and her eyes go wide. Tom: Hey, there's some 501's on sale at the Gap! Joel: Wow! They're showing anime films at the Cineplex! Crow: Now's THERE'S a guy that looks like my old boyfriend! >She gets a first-person view of the King Of The Monsters Tom: Whoa Nelly! That's the second biggest mutated lizard I've ever seen! Joel: Good thing this fic is from a third person perspective or Makoto would really be up the creek. >crashing through the streets. She also sees that Godzilla is about to >step on a bunch of frightened children who are hidding under a large >cardboard box.) Crow: Aw, let them die if they're stupid enough to think a cardboard box will protect them! Joel: That's not nice, Crow.... Tom: Robert Miles is not amused. >Mako:(Thinking) Oh My GOD! Joel: ...ess? Crow and Tom: It's Megami-Sama, Joel! Joel: Oh, bite me. >I've got to do something. (Shouting) MUPHEPER FAR FOUMER! >MAFE PUP! Tom: I get it! She'll speak German so Godzilla will think he's attacking the wrong city! Brilliant! Crow: UPHEPERMAY ARFAY OUMERFAY! AFEMAY UPPAY! Joel: That's pretty lame, Crow. Crow: Itebay emay. >(Spits the duffle bag strap out of her mouth and drops all >of her other bags.) Tom: You know what... I truly thought she was actually speaking a different language. I completely forgot that she had something in her mouth.... Crow: Yeah, imagine all the possibilities. Joel: Crow.... >Lets try that again. JUPITER STAR POWER! MAKE UP! Crow: Don't worry kids! I'll be with you as soon as my 10 second transformation sequence is finished! Tom: Too bad they only show an outline of her nude body or Godzilla might be distracted long enough for the kids to run. Joel: This isn't Battle Lakers EX, Tom. >(Makoto transforms into SAILOR JUPITER. The symbol on her >transfomation pen spins and she is surrounded by lightning. Joel: Eat your heart out, Raiden! >Then the lightning bends over her >body and turns into a sailor uniform with a green dress and a large >green bow on her chest.) Tom: Hey, Sailor Jupiter and Godzilla are color coordinated! Joel: It's not easy being green.... >Sailor Jupiter:(Jumps onto a nearby roof and aims at Godzilla) >SUPREME THUNDER!!! All: THUNDER!!! Na na na na na na na na.... >(A lightning rod pops out of her tiara and a large bolt of lightning >comes down from the sky. Tom: Lightning bolts provided by Zeus Inc. Their rates are so reasonable, it's a real shocker. >The lightning connects with the rod and Jupiter directs it through her >body and at Godzilla. Crow: I've always wondered if Lum and Makoto ever swapped trade secrets.... >The lightning hits Godzilla and he turns toward Jupiter in anger at the >little creature who actually thinks that it can hurt him.) Joel: Looks like she sparked his interest.... Tom: Heh. >Jupiter: Come on Big Boy, follow me! SPARKLING WIDE >PRESSURE!!! Crow: What the heck does that mean anyway? Tom: Ummm... You're guess is as good as mine. Crow: Maybe she sticks a firecracker up her.... Joel: Crow: ...nose. >(A concentrated ball of electricity forms in Jupiters hands and she >flings it at Godzilla. Godzilla raises a hand to block the ball Tom: Hey, no goal tending, Godzilla! >and it explodes against his outstretched palm. Crow: Denied! >He roars in pain as the blow actually succedes in stinging him. >Naturaly, Jupiter has no problem getting Godzilla to follow her now. >Just to make sure, she periodically fires bursts of lightning at him as >she leaps from roof to roof.) >Jupiter:(Her confidence growing) Hey, I might be able to beat this guy >after all. You know what they say, "The bigger they are...." Tom: The worse they smell when they die. >(Godzilla's back spikes begin to glow. He opens his mouth and lets >out a large stream of blue fire. The fire obliterates the roof, along >with the rest of the building, Joel: To everything, burn, burn, burn.... >Jupiter is on and she gracefully leaps [o.k., o.k. she >actualy gets blown head over heals] off the roof and lands face first >in a pile of rubble on the street.) Tom: Jupiter didn't realize the gravity of her situation.... Crow: Nice form! I give her a 6.7! Joel: Suck up.... >Jupiter:(Grogily)".....the more stuff they break." >(Jupiter looks up and wipes away blood that drips from a small gash >on her forehead. Crow: I ain't got time to bleed.... >She sees that even though the attack started only about an hour >ago, Godzilla has already decimated a good portion of the city. Tom: That's a delicate way of putting it. Joel: He came, he saw, he deep fried. Crow: Emerge, Lay waste, Submerge, Repeat. Emerge, Lay waste, Submerge, Repeat.... >The landscape in front of her is a mural of collapsed and burning >buildings. She hears Godzilla's ear spliting roar and flips over on her >back and looks up. She sees Godzilla rear back his head and she rolls >for her life. All: Rolling Rolling Rolling... Keep them Senshi rolling.... Crow: We're on a roll, folks! >The stream of blue flame misses her enough where it doesn't kill her >but it does hit her in the arm and she screams in pain as it gives her >third degree burns. Tom: Next time... on... Emergency... 911... A sailor senshi... is... horribly burned by a... mutated lizard.... >Now Godzilla is about to step on her.) >Jupiter:(Cringing) Oh Man! What a lousy way to go! Joel: Yeah, being killed by a youma would be a much more honorable death. >(Just as Godzilla is about to put his foot down, Tom: That's it! I'm tired of playing second fiddle to a puny sailor girl. Get my agent on the phone! >jet fighters shoot a volly of missles at him and hit him square in the >back. The force of the blast sends Godzilla a few crucial inches >forward and his foot misses Jupiter by mear inches. Tom: Missed her by THAT much! Crow: If his foot missed her by inches, does that mean his toenails missed her by millimeters? Tom: Only if he trimmed them. Joel: Okay guys, let's get back to the fanfic.... Crow: Uh oh! Now Joel's putting his foot down! Hee hee hee! Joel: You guys.... >Her body flops out from the wind blast, but for some reason she >doesn't go flying off. >Jupiter: That was too close. (Trys to get up.) Hey, what's going on? I >can't get up. Joel: She would be perfect as the new spokesmodel for medic alert. Tom: I know what the problem is. She seems to have one foot in her grave already. >(Meanwhile, the military has arived and is firing everything it's got at >an angry Godzilla. Tanks fire their shells, soliders fire bazookas, >Mazer Tanks fire their blue energy beams. Joel: They'll start with the blue beams and if that doesn't work, they're prepared to try every color in the rainbow if necessary! >More squadrons of jets arive and fire their missles. A soilder runs >over and we see that it's Solider2 from before.) >Solider2:(Kneels next to Jupiter) Are you alright? >Jupiter: Yeah, but I can't move. >Solider2: Why not? Tom: I'm in check. >Jupiter:(Face flushed with embaresment) Godzilla's... uh... he's >standing on my ponytail. >Solider2:(Draws his survival knife) Then I guess it's time for a haircut. >(S2 uses his knife and cuts Jupiter's ponytail near Godzilla's foot. >Then he helps her to her feet.) Joel: I don't know about you guys but they could shave all of Makoto's hair and I'll STILL envision her with the same pony tail hair style. Crow: You idiot! I asked for the Larry Fine! >S2: I'm disobaying orders trying to rescue you, so let's get out of the >line of fire. >SJ: Fine by me. (Thinking) What a HUNK!!! Joel: A hunk of what? Tom: A hunk-a, hunk-a, burning grunt.... Crow: The senshi formally known as Jupiter and the solider formally known as 2 will now be played by SJ and S2 respectively. >(The two of them run away from Godzilla as the military continues >to fire. They ocasionally swerve to avoid stray shots that miss their >targets. Joel: Hey, they're faster than a speeding bullet! Crow: Super! Tom: KNEEL BEFORE GOD... ZILLA. >One shot blasts the two of them into the air Joel: Jeffrey Wong in a cameo role.... >and SJ grabs S2 and carries him further.) >S2:(Shocked) Hey! How are you.... Hey wait a minute! Your Sailor >Jupiter! Tom: No, she's SJ! Pay attention! Joel: Hey guys! S2 is shocked because he's meeting Sailor Jupiter! Crow: So? Joel: Shocked... you know... Jupiter's powers... S2 is shocked from meeting... Oh, forget it. >I thought you ladies were just a myth. >SJ:(amused) Do I look like a myth? Tom: No, you look like a sexual fantasy of men with LoLITA complexes.... >S2: Definatly not. (Thinking) Doesn't FEEL like one either. Crow: SAILOR JUPITER HAS IMPLANTS!?!?! SAY IT ISN'T SO!!! Tom: It isn't so. Crow: Thanks. Joel: Feelings... Nothing more than feelings.... >(Finally Godzilla has had enough. Instead of his regular burst of >flame, his fire comes only a few inches out of his mouth. Joel: The passion is gone and the flames died down.... Tom: The last thing we need is another flamewar.... >This encourages the military and they fire with more intensity. Tom: FIRE.... >However, it seems the flame was just a signal that the big G was >powering up a more powerful attack. Beams of light shoot from his >form and one big burst of white light fires out in all directions from >his body. Tom: Do you see the light? Joel: The band... THE BAND! Tom: Do you see the light? Joel: Yes! Yes! I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT! Crow: They're on a mission from God... zilla. >The Nucular Pulse Blast spreads out and SJ and S2 [Who SJ has put >down] watch as the Blast destroys every last military vehicle in sight. Tom: Meanwhile, the military vehicles that *were* out of sight weren't stupid enough to get any closer. >They also notice that the Pulse Blast is aproching rapidly. S2 >trips and falls to the ground.) >Jupiter:(Stops running) Hang on! I'll carry you. >Solider2:(Waves her off) No time. My legs busted. Get going. >(Pushes her away hard) Joel: I said get going and I meant it! Tom: We'll always have... uh... well, I'll always have that cheap feel I copped from you. >The names Michles...(smiles) it was nice knowing you Crow: Michles? Tom: Michele... Micheal....? Joel: Wait, it's MITCHELL! Tom: So S2 was Joe Don Baker the whole time! Crow: Wait a minute, Joel! We haven't seen Mitchell yet! How can we know about him? Joel: It's a fanfic. You should really just relax. >(The Pulse Blast hits Michles and he screams in pain as he is >obliterated.) Crow: Farewell to thee, Mitchell. Tom: What will his momma say? Joel: I guess that means Solider 1 was John Saxon.... >Jupiter: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I-I just met him. >(The Blast convinently fades as it's mere centimeters from Jupiter. >Godzilla sees the little mite in green and a dim memory of a being >like that trying to hurt him flashes through his mind. He decides to >destroy this little problem once and for all. The chase continues to >the docks and Jupiter is more than a little distrested.) >Jupiter:(Hysterical) I just met him. I just met him. I just met him. >THAT DOES IT!!! OKAY YOU BIG GREEN ASSHOLE!!! THIS >IS IT!!! FINAL SHOWDOW!!! Crow: It's the big showdow at the O. Corral! Tom: It's the final showdow... da da da da... da da da da da.... >(Jupiter turns to face Godzilla and crosses her arm across her chest. Joel: I pledge allegiance to the flag.... >The giant saurian growls.) >Jupiter:(Concentrating) Oh great and mighty Jupiter, I call for you to >give me all the power you command to help me destroy this evil being >that stands before me. Tom: Beep Beep Beep... We're sorry... All of our lines to Jupiter are busy right now. Please stay on the line as we numb your mind with elevator music.... >SUPREME THUNDER DRAGON BINDER!!!!!! Crow: Binder? Joel: Oh yeah, those things can really hurt you when you catch your fingers in the rings.... >(Gigantic bolts of electricity form into a gigantic dragon, it flys toward >Godzilla and wraps around him. Then it explodes and the ground >Godzilla is standing on is atomized. He is knocked backwards into >the sea and goes under the waves, out of sight.) Crow: I kick ass for the FANBOYS! Tom: Talk about Divine Retribution.... Joel: Is Davey's Jones Locker wide enough for Godzilla? >Jupiter:(Obviously exausted and in great pain) I-I g-g-got h-h-him. Tom: And developed a stuttering problem. >(Her power exaused she turns back into her normal self. As soon as >she does Godzilla rises out of the sea and roars. He looks none the >worse for wear.) Crow: How much worse could a 50 foot lizard with heartburn get? Tom: Pulling it together... Sucking it in.... >Makoto:(Eyes wide in shock) No. It can't be. >(Godzilla stands and looks at the city. The one he is searching for is >no longer there, so the city holds no more interest for him and he >decides to swim for home.) Tom: That was needlessly cryptic. Crow: I'd be peeing my pants if I wore any. >Mako: He's leaving? (Laughs hystericaly) That's right, run away! >Ha, Ha! All: RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! Crow: You silly lizard! I empty my nostril in your general direction! >(Mako faints dead away from the pain in her arm and exaustion. She >awakens an unditermined time later in a hospital bed. Tom: Joel, how long is an *unditermined* amount of time? Joel: Long enough to attribute her awakening to the fact that she hasn't died yet. >She looks around and sees LUNA, a little black cat with a gold cresent >moon mark on her head, standing on her chest.) Tom: Oh that's a relief. I thought it was Luna Vachon. Crow: Or the Luna from Eternal Blue. Joel: That's LUNAR, Crow. Crow: My mistake. >Luna:(Very worried) Makoto are you all right? >Mako:(Weakly) Yeah. How'd you get in here? Joel: Well, Mars and Mercury wanted too much money, Moon was on a date with Tuxedo Mask, Venus had a previous commitment in another lemon and Artemis is suing Oscar for defamation of character.... >Luna: I snuck in the window. Usagi and the others are in the waiting >room. (Sounding angry) I WARNED you not to fight Godzilla, but >would you listen to me? Noooo. You're getting as bad as Usagi. Joel: Nag nag nag... Get off my back, already! Crow: You're not my real mother! Tom: That darn cat... Scat, darn cat! >(Gestures at Makos arm) Do you know how lucky you are that you >didn't get radiation poisoning from this?!! (Grows worried again as >Mako groans) Crow: Leave me alone! I just lost another substitute for my old boyfriend and I'm going through a lot of pain right... Sayyyy... that male orderly that passed by looks a lot like him.... >Are you really all right? You did good you know. You won. All: FOR NOW.... >(Makoto looks out the window, runs her hands over her cut ponytail >and remembers Michals and the disinterested and disapointed look >she would swear to her grave she saw on Godzillas face as he turned >to leave. Tom: First that pig-tailed kid, then that robot cat girl and now this! Who are they going to stick me with next? Hello Kitty?!? >She sighs.) >Makoto: Did I? All: >And on that chearful note....... > THE > END >******************************************************** Tom: Snow... Snow... Beautiful Snow.... Crow: Well, this fanfic was a walk in the park compared to the last two. Joel: Better not let Dr. F hear that or we'll be reading Artemis's Lover II in no time. Crow: Don't worry. I won't. >Well, that's that. Hope you enjoyed it. I've always wanted to write >something with Godzilla in it. Now that this is out of my system, I'll >go back to finishing Endworld: Moon Run. Hang in there, I've only >got a few chapters left. See you then! >May The Spirit Preserve You. Crow: Hey, he must be from St. Louis! Tom: Or a Samurai. Joel: The Samurai from St. Louis. Sounds like a MSTable fic to me! Tom: Let's go create it in the Holocabana! Crow: Cool! * * * DEEP 13 As Joel and the bots left the theater, Dr. Forrester rubbed his hands together and softly chuckled to himself. "You may think I'm getting soft, Joel, but sooner or later I'm going to find the ultimate fanfic to bring you to your knees. Maybe not this one, maybe not the next one, but soon.... "Dr. F?" Frank's voice called out. "What is it, Frank?" Dr. Forrester asked in an annoyed voice. "I think your invention's malfunctioning...." "WHAT?!?" Dr. Forrester shoved Frank out of the way to get a better look and gasped in horror. "That isn't... Don't tell me...." Dr. Forrester stammered. "I think it's a episode of Mr. T...." Frank finished for him. "Turn it off! That TV's meant for the world! Not us!" Dr. Forrester snapped. "I've been trying but... well...." Frank hesitated nervously. "But what, Frank!" Dr. Forrester's voice was low and dangerous. "The knob's stuck." Frank finished sheepishly. "Well, where's the remote control!" Dr. Forrester asked. "I... um... misplaced it." Dr. Forrester grabbed Frank by his collar, his voice low and dangerous. "Well I suggest you find it NOW or perhaps you would like to join Joel on the Satellite of Love? Hmm? I think I could modify the *umbiliport* to squeeze you in...." Frank's eyes widened with horror as he frantically began searching for the aforementioned remoter control. "You just have to know how to motivate them...." He thought to himself. Then he remembered the button and seeing Frank was busy decided to push it himself. THE REAL END. (Feel free to hum the closing theme as you read my author's notes.) My third MSTing is complete, I can't believe I managed to finish it in a week! I think I'll finish Part 2 of "Past Encounters" before I do the next one.... I'd like to once again thank Timothy McLees for being nice enough to post my MSTings on his webpage and Flashman for sending me this fanfic to MST and being a good sport about it. ;) I'd like to especially thank Jeffery "Oneshot" Wong, whom, without his help and C&C, I wouldn't have been able to finish this MSTing. He took time out to help me and I can't thank him enough. Finally I'd like to thank Flashman for writing 'Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla' and giving me his blessing to MST it as well as a lot of material to work with. I hope you're not offended. It's all meant in good fun. :) C&C, as always, is appreciated. (fcasper@yesic.com) Feel free to send in any anime fanfic that you would like to see MSTed and I'll take a look at it. Also, if you're interested in seeing any previous or future episodes of this series, I'll be happy to e-mail them to you personally. ;) Sincerely, Megane 6.7 A MSTing For All Seasons http://www.nabiki.com/mst A full archive of all Mystery Science Theater 6.7 episodes, Megane 6.7 fanfiction, and collaborations! Shizen's Versatile Home Page V3.0 http://svhp.webjump.com/ (Contains links to my MSTings and fanfics) (Alternate site: http://www.tass.org/fanfic/MST3k/) Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/ SEASON ONE ------------------ 101- "GAMES" by Artemis (SM Lemon) 102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (Original Draft) by Oscar (SM Lemon) 103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA" by The Flashman (SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER) 104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic) w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin (R1/2 Fanfic) 105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic) 106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson (Nuku Nuku Fanfic) 107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton (La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover) 108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic) 109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky (SM/WWF Crossover) w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon (SM/RL Crossover) 110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER CHRISTMAS" by Dr. Thinker (SM Christmas Fanfic) SEASON TWO ------------------- 201- "THAT GIRL" PT. 1-2 by Oscar (SM Lemon) 202- "VIRGIN WARRIOR SAILOR MOON" by Umino (SM Lemon) 203- "*R*P*M*" by Flynn (SM/SPAWN Crossover) 204- "RANKO'S LIFE" PT. 1-2 by Hitomi Ichinohei (R1/2 Fanfic) 205- "TRAPPED" by Mr_Jazz (SM Lemon) 206- "OSCAR TOON" PT. 1-4 by Oscar (SM/DBZ/WB Crossover) 207- "CALIFORNIA DREAMING" by Shakari (Mutiple Crossover Lemon) 208- "A RANMA 1/2 FANFIC" PT. 1-2 by Sheep (R1/2 Fanfic) 209- "TRIANGLE TANGLE" by CATS (SM Lemon) 210- "URUSEI YATSURA: THE KIDNAPPING" by Shutaro Mendou (UY Lemon) SEASON THREE ---------------------- 301- "A WET DREAM COME TRUE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Lemon) 302- "TORTURED ECHO" PT. 1-4 by Trakal (R1/2 Fanfic) 303- "RANMA KILLS!" PT. 1-2 by Sir Asayogure (R1/2 Fanfic) 304- "OKONOMIYAKI SUMMER" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic) w/short "UNDER THE MISTLETOE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic) 305- "XMAS SPECIAL: A CHRISTMAS FIT FOR A POKEMON" by Dr. Thinker (Pokemon Christmas Fanfic) 306- "9-BALL DREAMS" PT. 1-2 by Mr_Jazz (SM Crossover Lemon) 307- "WINTER" by Joseph Palmer (R1/2 Fanfic) 308- "UKYO GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES" PT. 1-2 by RVincent (R1/2 Lemon) SHORTY! ------------- 101- SUBLIMINALLY SEDUCE WOMEN INSTANTLY! 102- THE UGLIEST WOMEN ON THE NET! 103- PHEROMONES! 104- THE INTERNET SPY AND YOU!! OTHER MSTINGS I'VE CONTRIBUTED TO --------------------------------------------------------- "DIMISIONAL TROUBLE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic) "MOONDUSTED" by Stephen Ratliff (SM/TNG Crossover) Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/ "THE COUNTESS CHRONICLES" by Lin Lin (SM Dark Lemon) "9 1/2 CHIPMUNKS" by Toon Dreams (Rescue Rangers Yaoi Lemon) Lefty's MSTings http://lefty.simplenet.com/MSTings/index.htm 'MYSTERY WRESTLING THEATER 3000', POST 105: DOUBLE TROUBLE!' (Two interviews with the Ultimate Warrior and '3:16 Rulzs!' by Oracle) Website Number 9 MSTings http://pinky.wtower.com/mst3k/mistings.shtml "THE DAY OF EMERGANCE" by Jeffrey Lee (Ranma 1/2/Eddings/SM Crossover) Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page http://www.akane.org/gary/comics.html OTHER GREAT WEBPAGES WORTH VISITING Zoogz's Fanfiction and Fandom Page http://www.nav.to/Zoogz The Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong http://www.anime.sobhrach.com\~jeffwong\index.html 'Suicide Blast' by: Keener http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/3342/Suicide.html Additional links for Keener's stuff -- http://tmffa.com/ -- http://www.redrival.com/myrriden/index.html Flashman's Flash Point http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/3105/ JOLT!!! http://members.home.net/jolt.caffiene/welcome.htm Website Number 9 MSTings http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml Lord Carnage's Cursed Fanboys Page! http://carnage.fanfic.org A Sailor Moon Romance http://moonromance.simplenet.com/ Zen's Fanfiction Page http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html Webdragon's Lair http://members.tripod.com/~WebDragon/ Sean Gaffney's Webpage http://www.thekeep.org/~sean/index.html "Makoto:(VERY angrily)[Unprintable] [Unprintable] [Unprintable] [Unprintable] monster, [Unprintable] [Unprintable] [Unprintable], why'd it have to come here?!?" Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 1997 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Keep Circulating the Fanfics....