*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be....) "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON THREE) EPISODE 26: 9-BALL DREAMS PT. 2 (A Sailor Moon Lemon Crossover MSTing) MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7 This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, scenes from movies, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering my own ass here folks.... "Sailor Moon" is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the distributors of her work. "9-Ball Dreams" is the property of Mr_Jazz and he's welcome to it. I do not intend to offend him for making fun of his work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. It's all meant in good fun. ;) (Note: The original unMSTed version of "9-Ball Dreams" can be found at "A Sailor Moon Romance". See link at the end of the MSTing.) Warning: This fic contains some sexual content. If you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If not, enjoy! * * * (Door 6: It slides open on both sides..) (Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you move on..) (Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.) (Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling..) (Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and touches the door. The door vanishes.) (Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.) (Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.) Joel emerged from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right. >* * * * Joel: There's a starman waiting in the sky... He'd like to come and meet us.... Crow: Who? Jeff Bridges? >Ami cried out in lusty pleasure as Vincent probed her womanhood with >his highly skilled tongue. Joel: So it's a tongue of all trades then? Tom: But enough about the impending doom of Serena and Mina, let's get back to the sex! Crow: Woo hoo! >She let her head snap back and groaned as she felt herself coming close >to orgasm. Crow: All she needs now is the cigar. >"It's funny," Ami said between lusty gasps of air, "that I came here for >a pool lesson, and now I'm being fucked on a pool table. Tom: Yeah, who would've figured something like that happening in a lemon, huh? >Aren't we lucky we're the only one's in here." Crow: Not really, I like to be watched when I do it. Joel: Oh... well, we kinda are in a sense.... >"You are getting a pool lesson. Crow: It's customary before a game to have passionate sex with your opponent. Heck, any pool player will tell you that! >You playing a game that involves pushing balls into a hole using a long >hard straight thing," Vince replied, then went back to sucking and licking >Ami's pussy. Joel: Oh, *I* get it! It's like a game of pool! Take THAT, mister! Crow: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooow! Whdt th.... Joel: Everyone knows, a game of pool starts with a BREAK! >"Well," Ami said, "it's a good thing I snapped the cueball off of the >table like I did. If I didn't, then we might of had to wait a whole ten >minutes before we started fucking. All: Joel: What the hell is she talking about? Tom: No idea. Crow: >I don't know why we're doing this, we really don't know each other at all." >"Who cares," Vince replied as he positioned himself above Ami's exposed >pussy, "it makes it all the more fun." Crow: Babe, it's a lemon. Just relax and enjoy the ride. Joel: Hey, just because it's a lemon, doesn't mean I have to break character! And what the heck is so DANG fascinating about pool, anyway! >With that, he plunged himself inside her, and both cried out in pleasure >as Ami's vaginal muscles contracted around Vince's 11 inch penis. Crow: Yeah, and mine's a foot and a half. Tom: Geez, is it really THAT hard for some lemon writers to give their male characters a NORMAL penis size? I mean, I would think most women would be FRIGHTENED of the damage an 11 incher could do.... Joel: Exaggerated genitalia was here long before us and it'll be here long after we're gone... just a fact of life, guys.... >Ami was in heaven, and began to grunt as Vincent began sliding in an >out of her ever so slowly, and then began to quicken his pace. Crow: Oops, hold on a second! I think I'm bleeding internally... nope, I was wrong. Resume sliding! Tom: Gee, I didn't know Vincent was a... SLIDER.... >"You know," Vince grunted as he thrust himself in and out of Ami, who >was barley able to listen to him, Joel: That must be one loud phallus. >"this is going to make us actually doing any billiards practice very >difficult. Any ideas?" Crow: WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! TURN DOWN YOUR PENIS! Tom: And while I'm thinking of it, did I leave the garage door open before I left for work this morning? >Ami couldn't answer him, Joel: Ami? A-Ami?!? OH MY GOD, SHE'S DEAD!!! IT'S EYES WIDE SHUT ALL OVER AGAIN!!! AHHHHHHH!!! >as she felt herself climax and cum as Vincent exploded his load of >semen inside of her. Tom: ...as she glanced at her wristwatch and noticed she was late for her date with Greg. >She felt her cum dribble down her legs, and onto the table. Crow: You soiled it. You've bought it. >Then she collapsed, and Vincent came crashing down beside her. Joel: Wait a minute, wasn't it *Vince* a few seconds ago? >"I guess the slate was strong enough," Vince laughed, tired but happy. Tom: Huh? Now it's Vince again! What the sam hill is going ON, here!? Joel: Say, you don't supposed Cruise used a.... All: ...STUNT DOUBLE!? >"I still wish I knew why nobody else has come in here, as just yesterday, >this place was packed," Ami replied as she began to gather herself >together. Crow: Could you hand me my entrails please? Joel: Cripes, Ami, will you KNOCK it off with the intelligent and logical questions already! You're gonna blow the whole deal! >"Ami, look around, I'm sure you'll figure it out," Vince said, motioning >to the front of the hall. Tom: Oh my god! T-There's a dead horse in front of the entrance! Joel: Yep, when it comes to ensuring privacy, nothing beats a dead horse! >Ami studied it carefully, and noticed that the thick wooden shutters had >been pulled closed over all of the front windows. Then she noticed the >sign. Crow: Having sex with Ami. Back in one hour. >The side facing her said "Yes, we are open!" which means the other >side said "Closed". Joel: Of course, that didn't stop the pool-crazed Japanese from forming a long line outside the hall, wondering what all the strange noises coming from inside were about.... >"Well fuck me," Ami said. Tom: It's a puzzle. Work on it. >"Can't," Vince replied, as he zipped up his pants, "I'm way too tired and >out of cum. Joel: Well, okay then, let's just talk and cuddle! Crow: Aheheheh... yeah, right. >Besides, I have to open in an hour or Eddie will wonder why the hell he >hasn't made any money; and the felt on this table needs replacing. That >will take me an hour anyway." Tom: Awwwww... but I want more sex! Crow: No! There's no time! Tom: Come on... how about a five minute quickie? I promise it'll be over before you know it! Crow: Look, just take a cold shower or something, okay?!? >Ami looked at the cloth. I was drenched in cum, both her's and Vincent's, >blood, and sweat. Joel: Funny, I don't remember seeing the narrator anywhere in the lemon scene.... >"Can I help at all?" Ami asked as she disassembled her cue, which she >luckily put down on the table next to the one she and Vincent had sex on. Crow: Wait a minute... why is this cue all sticky and... oh my GOD! No WONDER you seemed to have such a long.... Joel: Hokay, that's enough out of you. >No," Vince said, "I don't think you can. Come back tomorrow and we'll >actually get some work done, OK?" Tom: You've done quite enough damage for one day, Ami. Joel: Hey, I was willing to do it on the floor. It was YOUR bright idea to use the table, Ethan.... >"Alright," Ami sighed as she picked up her cue case and turned to leave. >"Oh, and Ami," Vince smiled as got a tool kit out from under the front >counter. >"Yes?" Crow: I've had better. Joel: Here, kid! Tom: Wow! Thanks, Mister! >"I really loved what just happened. I hope we didn't spoil a friendship." Joel: How can we spoil something we never had in the first place? Crow: Oh yeah. I forgot. >"Me too, Vince. See you later." Tom: Bye, Ami! Crow: Get bent. >With that, Ami walked out of Phelson's Billiards and towards the parking >lot to drive home to her apartment. Joel: Oh, look at the time! I'm going to miss V.I.P if I don't hurry! >* * * * Crow: Login? Tom: Servo1 Crow: Password? Tom: * * * * Crow: Your password is invalid. Please try again. Tom: * * * * Crow: Okay, your password is valid, we just don't like you, so beat it! >Serena moaned as she felt Mina penetrate her aching pussy with her >highly skilled and practiced tongue. Joel: We now return you to the other inexplicable lemon scene, already in progress.... >As Mina began to lick and gently bite Serena's love button, Serena >screamed in sheer ecstasy. Tom: Hey, it may be gratuitous, but at least it's enjoyable. >"Oh Mina, I love you so much, ooh, do it more, and harder, please!" >pleaded Serena as she began to force her shaved pussy into Mina's face. Joel: Get your Mr. Bigglesworth out of my face, Serena! >Both girls had started kissing in the elevator and as soon as the door to >their apartment shut, they were out of their clothes and making "sweet >love." >Serena had made Mina cum twice now, using everything from a dildo to >electrical kitchen utensils, to a shampoo bottle. Crow: Ohhhhhh... it's t-tingling... and, oh w-wow, is it ever w-working.... Joel: If that's "sweet love", I shudder to think what happens when they get "nasty".... >Now it was Serena's turn to be pleasured, and being pleasured she was. Joel: I wish to be pleasured. Tom: Then pleasured you shall be. >Mina had been aware of her sexual skills since she was 14, and now at >18, she had perfected them to the point where one hour of sex with her >was worth a lot of money, and I mean, A LOT OF MONEY!!! Tom: SO DON'T LET THIS AMAZING, ONCE IN A LIFETIME, SEXUAL OPPORTUNITY PASS YOU BY! CASH IN YOUR LIFE SAVINGS AND BED THIS GIRL BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!! DO IT NOW!!! YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DID!!! Crow: So Serena's paying Mina for sex then? What's the point of telling us this? >Serena reached climax, and went into a violent spasm as she cummed >all over Mina's beautiful young face. When Serena was finished, and >Mina was finished drinking it, Joel: ...she searched for a clean napkin and delicately dabbed both corners of her mouth. Tom: Smashing performance, my lady! Absolutely smashing! >they both collapsed in a sweaty, cummy, naked heap. Serena then >embraced Mina and began to lick her face clean. Crow: No need to do that, Serena. That's what I keep Artemis around for.... Joel: Ick. >"I love you Serena," Mina whispered as she closed her eyes and let the >romanticism of being with her love set in. >"I know," Serena replied Crow: I know? What are you, Han Solo now!? >as she wrapped her arms around Mina and they fell asleep on the floor. Joel: The floor again? Don't these girls ever make love in a bed? Tom: Must be shag carpeting. >* * * * Joel: Four Star Stories... the new manga series by Mamoru Nagano. Now available in a comic book store near YOU. Tom: Well, even though that lemon scene was really pointless, plotwise, it could have been a lot worse.... Crow: The fic ain't over yet, Tommy. >Lita was cooking dinner for her and Ken when the phone rang, causing >her to startle and drop a knife on the floor. Joel: That really scare me! Crow: Oh NO... not Ken AGAIN....?! Tom: Ken? Who the hell's Ken? Crow: He's this one-shot character from an episode of Sailor Moon R that for some reason keeps popping up from out of nowhere in various Sailor Moon fanfiction and is usually involved in some sort of relationship with Lita. His characterization tends to change with every person that writes him. Tom: You're kidding me, right? Crow: Nope. It's best to just go along with it, trust me. >It was Ami on the other end. >"Hi Lita," Ami chimed, "guess what happened." >"You and Vince are going out tomorrow night?" Lita replied >excitedly. >"No," Ami said with a tone of teasing in her voice, "we had sex." Joel: Really? What about Vincent? Tom: That loser? Ha! I wouldn't give him the time of day! >Lita was in shock, she had to force herself to stop trembling and then >she had to sit down. Then when Ami repeatedly yelled "Hello, hello?" >into the phone, she forced herself to speak. >"Are you nuts?" Lita asked as she got a glass of water. >"In what way?" Ami replied. Tom: Are you cashews, walnuts or pistachios? WHAT DO YOU THINK I MEAN?!? >"Well, you don't even know him, he could have AIDS for all you know, Joel: And what if he got you pregnant? Aren't you worried he might distract you from your mission as a sailor senshi? Doesn't the fact that he so easily ignored your age difference bother you? Crow: Hey, what's with all the sensible questions all of a sudden? Joel: Hey, I figure I might as well get them all out now before I'm forced to play dumb again.... >and where did you do it, in his car?" >"On a pool table." Tom: Wow, Vincent got some balls, huh! >Lita giggled slightly, as it seemed sort of funny that Ami was having a >pool lesson one minute, and then getting shagged the next, on a pool >table!!! Crow: I mean, wow, like, what are the odds. man?!? Tom: I see what you meant about Lita playing dumb, Joel. >That's when Ken walked in. All: Joel: Hey Barbi... I mean, Lita! I'm home! >"Hey Lita, you seen a long hard black case lying around anywhere?" >"I saw one in my room the other day, it's at the back of the top shelf in >the closet. Why?" >"My cue is in there, I thought I'd go check out that new pool hall." >It took a couple of seconds for that to sink in, but when it did, Lita >was running after him, but to no avail. Joel: But I just finished making dinner for us, you insensitive CLOD! >Ken was already cruising down the road in his Aston Martin. All: >Lita ran back into the kitchen and on the phone. Tom: Okay, I'm standing on the phone, mashing the little buttons with my toes... what now, Mr. Narrator? >"Ami," Lita yelled as she took off her apron, "Ken is on his >way to the pool hall with his cue! I didn't even know he >had one. Joel: Come to think of it, what DO I really know about Ken? >Anyway, I'll be round to pick you up in ten minutes and well go there >as well. Crow: We well? >He'll probably start betting or something. God I hope he's good... Tom: Hey, betting is easy. WINNING, on the other hand.... >* * * * Joel: Video killed those radio stars.... >Vincent saw a man in his mid twenties walk in like he was god-almighty >with a hard cue case. Tom: I'M SICK OF BOWLING IN THE SKY! SHOW ME TO YOUR SNOOKER TABLE, MORTAL! >"Easy money," Vince thought as he approached the man. Joel: Hey, I saw him first! No fair! >"Hi there," Vince said as he held out his hand, "welcome to Phelson's >billiards. What can I do for you today?" Crow: I'll have some chicken wings and a beer, please. >Business had picked up dramatically in the hour the billiard >hall had been open, and now, the place was packed again. Ken >shook Vince's hand, "Names Ken, and I'm looking for some action. Tom: Oooooh! Crow: Pool playing action! Tom: Oh. >I bought this cue a few years back when I was in Los Angeles, but then >I only used it a few times." >"What kind of cue is it?" >"Balabooshka 9-Ball edition, series two." >"Really," Vince smiled, "mine's a Balabooshka series 1. Crow: Series *1*? BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Tom: Series 1, *Special Limited Edition*, that is. More than enough cue to wipe out your little wussy stick.... Crow: Oh yeah? Well, MY cue has the power to kill YOUR cue TEN times over! And it glows when it's pissed! Tom: Oh yeah!? OH YEAH?! Well, my cue is such a BADASS, that even THINKING about it can kill you! And it has the power to regenerate itself so it can't be destroyed ever! EVER! >Anyway, since their both nine ball cues, what say you and me hook it >up over a few games." >"Sure," Ken replied as he and Vince moved to the nearest available >table. Crow: By the way, I didn't catch your name? Tom: That's because I didn't give it, dumb-ass! >* * * * Joel: Don't you be afraid... think of all the friends you've made... like any other night... you've got to live it right... You're a Superstar! >Lita drove like a mad woman Tom and Joel: Crow: Lita wasn't careful. Lita didn't believe in buckling her seat belt. Let's watch as Lita's brains are soon splattered all over the glass windshield, the leather interior, the hood of the car, and yes, even the black asphalt. Looks like Lita's road pizza now. Too bad, Lita. >as she tried to get to the hall before her boyfriend's masculinity and >gullibility decided to kick in and he lost some money, as money was >something that they could not afford to lose right now. Tom: Wait a minute! If they're tight for money then what the hell's Ken doing driving around in a Aston Martin?!? Crow: Maybe he's renting out Jupiter's senshi outfit to hentai shops? Joel: Ewwww.... >When she had picked up Ami, she had noted that Ami was also carrying >a cue case. >"Present from Vincent," was all Ami said as she got in the car. Joel: Present? For the sex? Crow: What? Oh no, he bought it for me to help with my pool lesson and... oh my god, I'm a hooker. >That was a mere 30 seconds ago, yet in that time, Lita in her little Dodge >Colt had been screaming through traffic. Learning to drive a stick shift >had definitely paid off. Tom: Oh, COME ON! Do you really expect us to believe your boyfriend owns a expensive British roadster while you're stuck with Al Bundy's Dodge? Crow: Does the IRS know about this? >As they approached the hall, Lita finally began to slow down. >"OK Ami," Lita said as she stopped outside the door to the hall, "get >in there and stop Ken from losing anymore money, and I'll find a place >to park. I'll see you in there in a minute." Tom: What am I supposed to do? Crow: I dunno, think of something! Tom: Well... I could have sex with him on a pool table! Yeah! I'm real good at that! Crow: Try it, and I'll shove that elaborate cue where the sun don't shine! >Ami just grabbed her cue case and ran in. As Lita drove off to park, she >opened the door and ran in. What she saw shocked her. Joel: Oh my god?!? Vincent, what the hell are you doing to Ken's NECK?!? Crow: Now, look with your vampire eyes, Ken.... >There was a crowd around the table where she could see Vince and Ken >playing. Eddie Phelson was there as well. Joel: It's about time! He's been missing since the opening scene! >But the thing that shocked her was that Ken was beaming and Vincent >was looking tired and depressed. Tom: And why? Because Ken took Vicks NyQuil the night before, ensuring that he would have a deep and restful sleep while Vincent took the *OTHER* cold medicine.... >As Ami approached the table, Ken waved and smiled. Vincent only >nodded to her. That's when Ami noticed the thick wad of bills in Ken's >pocket. Joel: Say Ken, is that a thick wad of bills in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Crow: Both, actually! >"Hey Ken," Ami said, "how much money have you made?" >"Around three thousand dollars," Ken said as she sunk the nine. Tom: Ami, what the heck are you doing?!? We're in the middle of a game here! Crow: Well, finish the silly thing so Vincent and I can *use* the table again! >The crowd cheered and Vince threw his money on the table. Joel: Ha! She interfered with the game! That means I win by forfeit! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Tom: Thank you, Ami. Thank you SO MUCH. Crow: Ah, go cry to Lita, you little wuss! >"I quit!" Vince yelled as he walked off to his back room looking dejected. >Ken only looked shocked, and then smiled. Joel: Ken had yet to really grow as an actor. Tom: Say what you want about the cast, but they've got the shocked look down COLD.... >He then collected the money and turned to Ami. >"Want to play some?" he asked as he racked for 9-ball. Crow: Nah, I've seen enough balls for one day. >"What was that all about?" Ami asked, motioning to Vincent >who was storming off into his "little" back room. Tom: I-I hate you guys! I'm going to go play with my trains! At least they don't JUDGE me like YOU do! >Ken smiled again. "Guess he didn't expect me to be so good." >"Nor did I," Ami exclaimed, "how did you learn to play so well?" >"Well," Ken replied, still radiating from his BIG wins, Joel: Why they gave me radioactive money, I'll never know. Crow: He's beautiful, he's rich, he's got HUGE... wins.... >"when I was in LA, I ran into a lady pool player by the name of >Michelle Yo, and we did end up sleeping together, don't tell Lita, Tom: Oops, I think I said too much. Crow: Don't worry about it. The last thing I need is to hear Lita bitching about ANOTHER ex-boyfriend.... >and she gave me some pool lessons." Tom: Oh, I'll just bet she did! Joel: Join the club. >"Ken," Ami said in an impatient tone, "and..." Tom: And... what? Crow: And what the heck does this flashback, not to mention this entire flipping story, have ANYTHING to do with SAILOR MOON?!? Tom: D'uh... I dunno! >"OK, fine, I won a couple of 9-ball tournaments. Big bloody deal!" >"I'll be back here in a few minutes," Ami said, then she noticed Lita >storm into the hall, and added "explain your wins to Lita, she was >expecting you to lose money." Tom: And hey, best of luck, Casanova! >Ami then took off for Vincent's "office". Joel: Where Vincent was hard at work building his "la-ser" to take over the world.... >* * * * >Eddie Phelson was the greatest hustler in the world. He was also >Vincent's mentor, and now, was in disgrace. Crow: Shouldn't have waved his banner all over the place. >He was ready to explode at Vincent for being so stupid as to think >that every single player he bets with doesn't have talent. >"What the hell were you thinking Vince?" Eddie spat half menacingly >to Vince, who was slouching in a chair pouring a glass of scotch. Crow: MAVERICK!!! Joel: Ah, sweet booze. You love me, don't you? I love you. >"I don't know?" >"What the hell do you mean you don't know. Tom: Dammit, I want answers! Crow: You want answers? Tom: I WANT THE TRUTH!!! Crow: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!! >I'll tell you what you don't know. You have no idea when to quit do you. >When too much is too much. Even when your hustling and winning, >you don't know how far is too far. Tom: Oh, just fire me already, you mean old bastard! Wait, was that too far? >Remember when I made my comeback. You even rigged our match for >money. I taught you too well. Some things are just not supposed to >be fucked with, and you do. Crow: I do what? What ARE you jabbering on about? Joel: Beats the hell out of me. I'm just reading the script. >Hell, I have Minnesota Fats coming in here in a week for a straight >pool game against you, and now your fucked in the head. >Excel-fucking-lent." Tom: Behold the power of my in-cre-di-ble ACT-ING! Joel: I am totally lost at this point. Crow: I think Mr_Jazz is trying to copy a scene from 'Color of Money', *TRYING* being the key word here.... >Eddie then turned and stormed out of the office, and nodded curtly to >Ami as she walked in. Vince only saw her and moved his eyes else >where. Ami was upset. >"You want to talk?" she asked. >"No." >"Is it true, what Eddie said, are you really a hustler?" >"Yes." >"So you only play pool for money, not for the sport, or the people, just >the money." Tom: Actually, after meeting you, I've added poontang to the list. >"Isn't everyone in something just for the money!" Vince yelled, "I mean, >when you break it down to it's lowest level, isn't everything about the >money?" Joel: Show me the money, Ami! Show me the money! >"No, and that's why Ken wiped the floor with you. Crow: Really? He told me he was looking for part-time work. >He was there to have good time, and you were there to try to make >some money off of him. Joel: And any amount of fun will triumph over skill every time! Tom: You don't get out much, do you, Ami? >One thing about the Japanese that is different from Americans is that >money isn't always the first thing on our minds. I'm learning this game >because you said I have talent, and because you offered to teach me. >Not to make money, or to be a hustler, or to make love with you." Joel: Um, so why did you then? Crow: What? I'm not allowed to have sexual fantasies of my own? You *ARE* Tom Frigging Cruise, after all.... >"Then get out." >"You don't mean that Vincent." >"You're right, I don't. Joel: I mean a totally different Vincent! >I love you, and right now you're treading on thin ice, and I don't want >to hurt you, so please, get out." Tom: Make up your mind, willya! Joel: Should I stay or should I go.... >Ami left. Crow: Going... going... gone! >* * * * Tom: Star Ocean: The Lemon Story. Joel: With no less that 300 endings! Warning: You must be 18 years or older to view endings 175 to 211.... Crow: I shudder to think of the 'Private Actions' THAT game's gonna have.... >When Ami came out of Vincent's office, she noticed that another crowd >had gathered around Ken's table. Crow: Oh, my aching crowd scenes.... Tom: Yes! I am in the ZONE! Luck, you are one FINE LOOKING WOMAN tonight! Woo hoo!!! >As she approached, she noticed Ken spilling a few hundred dollar bills >on the table. The man that was picking them up was Eddie Phelson. >"You want to go again son?" he asked as he folded the money and put >it in one of his pockets. >"Sure thing, I guess it's your break," Ken replied. >"I guess it is," Eddie replied as he positioned the cue ball on the "line" >at a slight angle to the face of the 1 ball. Then he set his bridge, which >was open hand like Ami's, and thrust the cue forward. The cue-ball >thundered into the diamond like a wild tornado through Texas. Crow: Can you say 'melodramatic?' Joel: Melodramatic. Crow: I knew you could. >He sunk the 1,3,4,5,7 and 8. The audience applauded. All: Yay.... >Lita, who had come into the hall while Ami was with Vincent, was >looking depressed. Tom: Freddy... Kuro/Kogi... Ken... why do you forsake me so? >The 2 ball was positioned beside the 9-ball on the right side pocket. >Eddie easily potted it, and collected his money. >"I guess I'm real lucky tonight," Eddie lied as he took another 300 >dollars from Ken. Crow: Of course, the fact that I OWN this pool hall has absolutely no bearing on my lucky streak whatsoever! >"Ken," Lita chimed in, "let's leave now while you're still ahead. Two >thousand, four hundred will come in real handy won't it." >Ken looked perplexed for a moment, then reluctantly agreed with Lita. Tom: Yeah, I guess you're right. What are we going to do with all this money, anyway? Joel: Well, we could put some towards your hospital bills for one thing, you two-timing, SCUM! Tom: Huh? Joel: Don't play dumb! I *know* all about your little pool table bimbo in LA! How could you DO this to ME?!? And after I gave you my blood too! Just wait till I get you home, you son of a.... Tom: Uhhhh, on second thought, the night is still young! Come on, let's play some pool! >"Eddie," he said unscrewing his cue, "I'm finished." Joel: IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE, YOU LOUSE!!! >"You going to let your bitch make all of your decisions?" >"What did you call her." >"You heard me." Crow: Oh my god! He dissed Kenny's girl! Tom: You BASTARD! >"Fine I'll play you." >"No you won't," Ami cut in, "I will." Joel: Um, excuse me, but since I'M the one that was insulted, shouldn't I get first crack at him? >"Ami," Ken said, "stay out of this." >"He's hurting Vince, and I'll make him pay for that." Joel: What are you talking about?!? He called ME a bitch! What's Vince got to do with this? >"It's not your fight." >"Yes it is." Joel: No, it's MY fight! Will somebody PLEASE pay attention to me for pete's sake?!? >Ken surrendered, and motioned Ami to the table. While Ken and Ami had >their small duel, Eddie Phelson had been busy racking the table for 9-ball. Crow: And what exactly constitutes a small duel? Tom: Tongue wrestling! Best three out of five! Crow: Oooh! You're on! Joel: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! >He looked like a tiger ready to strike and he said "It's your break Ms. >Andersen." Crow: MY NAME... IS MERCURY.... >Ami put her cue together, and put the case down on the next table. >She then chalked it, positioned the cue ball on the table and fired. Joel: BANG! Crow: Whoa! That's a cue and a half! >The nine sank in the bottom left corner, along with an excellent scatter >of the other balls. >"Rack 'em," she said with a smile. "You're going down Eddie, and I'm >taking you down." Crow: He's going down... down.... >"We'll see Ms. Andersen, you fluky bitch. Tom: Fluky? Crow: Yo, FLU-KAY!!! Joel: Yo? Crow: WASSUP?!? Joel: WASSUP?!? Tom: I think we could all use a Bud about now. Crow: True... True. >Let's play some pool." Joel: Come to think of it, that's pretty much what they've been doing the entire fic.... >* End of Part One * Crow: Oy vey... my brain hurts. Tom: That's it? What the heck did that story have to do with Sailor Moon? NOTHING happened! No action, no enemies, the girls didn't even transform into the senshi ONCE! Anybody could have played Ami's part! Joel: Well, I don't know about you guys, but I've had my fill of pool for one day. What's say we get a little fresh air, eh? Crow: Now that's something we can all agree with! Tom: Hear Hear! (Joel picks up Tom and follows Crow out of the theater) * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE "And what the heck happened to Jackie Gleason anyway? Is he helping at the Hikawa shrine now?" Crow asked as the theater doors closed behind him. "Darned if I know... hey look, someone's calling us on the Hexfield Viewscreen!" Tom exclaimed as Joel walked over to the counter and gave the button a tap. The Hexfield opened to reveal three normal sized pool balls hovering in mid air and twisting around slightly as if they were suspended by really thin wires. "The hell?!?" Joel exclaimed. The pool ball in the middle hovered forward slightly and spoke. "GREETINGS! WE ARE THE POOL BALLS!" "P-Pool balls?" Joel inquired nervously. "CALL ME JOE. THAT WILL MAKE IT EASIER FOR BOTH OF US," The pool ball replied. "Um, okay... Joe. Say, you wouldn't happen to know anything about a bunch of really big pool balls that tried to kill us earlier, would you? "YES." There was a long moment of silence. "Soooo, you DID send them to kill us then?" Tom asked. "NO. POOL BALLS HAVE NO FREE WILL OF THEIR OWN. WE CARRY OUT THE WILL OF THE CUE. "The Q? You mean the Continuum?" Crow asked. "NO, THE CUE, AS IN C-U-E. THEY ARE OUR MASTERS. IT WAS THE CUE THAT SENT US HERE TO SINK YOU. BUT SOMEHOW YOU DIVERTED US. WERE YOU ASSISTED BY THE BUMPERS?" "The who?" Joel was thoroughly confused by now. "THE BUMPERS. THEY ARE OUR MORTAL ENEMIES. THEY DIVERT US FROM THE DIVINE PATH THE CUE WISH US TO TRAVEL. DID THEY ASSIST YOU? "No, we did it ourselves! We used Gypsy as an elaborate cue to...." "WAIT A MINUTE! YOU HAVE A CUE AMONG YOU?" Joe interrupted, startled. "Well, as a matter of fact, we do! Hey, Gypsy! Would you mind coming up to the bridge for a minute?" A few moments later, Gypsy appeared on the bridge. "What's up, Joel?" she asked. Joel gestured at the Hexfield. "Gypsy, meet Joe Pool. Joe Pool, this is Gypsy, our elaborate cue," Joel said as he introduced the two. "THAT IS NOT ONE OF THE CUE! SHE'S NOT NEARLY ELABORATE ENOUGH!" Joe said accusingly. "As a matter of fact, I *was* used as a cue and if you little balls had anything to do with it, then I've got a few bones to pick with you!" Gypsy replied angrily. "PROVE IT!" Joe replied. "Oh no, you don't! I'm not breaking my skull again for anybody!" Gypsy retorted as she came closer to the Hexfield. "WE REQUIRE A DEMONSTRATION IF WE ARE TO BELIEVE YOU ARE TRULY A CUE!" Joe insisted. "You want proof, I'll show you proof!" Gypsy exclaimed as her jaw swung wide open and engulfed all three pool balls in her mouth. The Hexfield Viewscreen closed as Gypsy pulled her body outside of the satellite again and, looking both ways to make sure there was no incoming traffic, she spat out all three balls, one at a time, in different directions. "HEY, SHE IS A CUEEEEEEE...." Joe's voice echoed as he and his buddies were soon out of sight. Gypsy brought herself back into the satellite as Joel and the bots cheered for her. "Wow! You rock, Gyps!" Crow exclaimed. "Who knew you could kick so much butt without any feet!" Tom marveled. "That's two we owe you, Gypsy! Thanks a lot!" Joel smiled. "Hey, I'm glad I could help!" Gypsy replied happily. "Well, I've got to get back down to the Master Computer Control Center and finish debugging. I'll see you guys at dinner! Bye!" she said before disappearing down the corridor. Joel watched her go while Crow quipped. "Whew, been a heck of a day, hasn't it?" "Hmm, I wonder what Dr. Forrester's been up to all this time....?" Joel remarked as he pushed the red button to contact them. * * * DEEP 13 Dr. Forrester tapped his champagne glass lightly with his fork, drawing the attention of the other guests at the dinner table. He then rose from his chair, glass in hand and waited for the noise to completely die down before speaking. "Gentlemen, I'd like to propose a toast! To anarchy... chaos... villainy most foul... and most importantly, to evil, for without it, none of us would be here today to reap the sweet rewards of the immoral things we do. Cheers!" "Cheers," the people at the table echoed quietly as they clinked glasses and drank a little too deeply. A moment later, the sound of a toilet flushing was heard as Frank emerged from the bathroom with a look of exquisite relief on his face. "Whew! Oh my! Guess I should've made blueberry muffins instead of the bran, eh, doctors?" Frank joked as he resumed his seat while Dr. Forrester smiled politely, resisting the urge to leap across the table and throttle him senseless for the faux pas as Torgo wobbled his way over to the table. "WouLD ANyonE LiKe mE To FreSHeN tHEIr dRInkS?" Everyone immediately offered their glasses to him. Torgo nodded and struggled to lift the gallon jug of Chateau Quiki Rouge from the floor and onto the table but its weight proved too much for his shaky legs as he fell backwards to the floor. "Whoops, let me help you out there...." Frank exclaimed as he jumped to his feet and rushed over to the fallen Torgo, taking the entire tablecloth and everything on it with him as he had forgotten to untuck it from his belt. Then, in his haste to get over to Torgo, Frank slipped on the spilled wine and fell head over heels to the floor, causing the food that had not already been yanked off the table to take flight and splash all over the guests. There was a long silence as the tablecloth soon caught fire from the combination of fallen candlesticks and spilt wine. Dr. Forrester placed his head in his hands, knowing it was only a matter of moments before the sprinkler system would kick in and Evilos would kick him out. "Boy, I could really go for a movie right now...." Dr. Forrester mumbled sarcastically as the sprinklers activated right on cue.... ...AND THE MSTINGS CONTINUE... I hope you enjoyed this and C&C is very welcome. (megane67@rogers.com) Author's Notes: Hello again! This MSTing took me a little longer to do than usual, actually I've had this story sitting on the backburner for some time now, but I'm happy with the final result. Most of my time has been spent preparing for the 1999 Chicken Ball Awards with the rest of the CB Staff. The Chicken Ball Awards, for those of you that haven't heard of them, is a series of awards honoring the different aspects of fanfiction with a tongue-in-cheek approach. Every award is presented and accepted by a different author, allowing for a greater sense of participation. The awards ceremony will comense on April 15th at http://www.thekeep.org/~harnums/CB/ On behalf of the CB staff, we hope to see you there. ;) I've been MSTing for almost three years now and I want to thank each and every person who's send me words of support and encouragement and who have helped me throughout these last three years. I treasure every piece of fan mail I receive and I consider it a great honor that some people have dedicated their MSTings to me and tell me that I helped encourage them to start MSTing. To all of you, thank you from the bottom of my heart and I hope I can continue to inspire and make you laugh for a long time to come. :) I'd like to give personal thanks to Zoogz, who helped me with some in-depth C&C for this MSTing. He is a very funny and talented author and you can find his works at http://www.nabiki.com/mst/zoogz/ including his Utena MSTing 'Ma Vie et Roses'. He is currently between projects at the moment, including an original fanfic called 'Point Source' Also, I'd like to give personal thanks, once again, to Gary Kleppe, whose C&C and suggestions are always appreciated. I can't say enough nice things about this guy! :) If you haven't had a chance to check out his latest works 'The Ghost Prison' and 'For a Dying Friend', you can reach him at gary@garykleppe.org or his webpage at http://www.garykleppe.org/comics.html and I'm sure he'll be happy to send the story along to you. Additionally, I'd like to give special kudos to Keener who also provided some great suggestions for this MSTing. His latest fic, 'Suicide Blast 5' is coming up soon and he's working on a Tenchi fic call 'Tenchi Master of His Domain...' These and other great fics can be found at: http://tmffa.com/ Finally I'd like to thank Mr_Jazz for writing '9-Ball Dreams' and giving me his blessing to MST it as well as a lot of material to work with. I hope you're not offended. It's all meant in good fun. :) ***All of Zoogz and my MSTings and the MSTings we've contributed to can be found in the various categories at:*** 'A MSTing for All Seasons' http://www.nabiki.com/mst Everything What Is Crap (formerly Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings) http://www.svamcentral.org/ewic ">"It's funny," Ami said between lusty gasps of air, "that I came here for >a pool lesson, and now I'm being fucked on a pool table." Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 2004 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Keep Circulating the Fanfics....