*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be....) "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON TWO) EPISODE 19: TRIANGLE TANGLE (A Sailor Moon Lemon MSTing) MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7 This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering my own ass here folks.... "Sailor Moon" is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the distributors of her work. "Triangle Tangle" is the property of CATS and he's welcome to it. I do not intend to offend this person for making fun of his work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;) Warning: This fic contains mature content and lemon content. If you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If not, enjoy! (Cue "Mystery Science Theater 6.7 Love Theme" in 5... 4... 3....) It's the not-too-distant future, Last Sunday BC There was this guy named Joel Not so different from you or me He worked at Gizmonic Institute Just another guy in a red jumpsuit He did a great job cleaning up the place, But his bosses really hate him So they shot him into space!!!! Joel: (OH... MY... GODDESS!!!) Crow and Tom: (IT'S MEGAMI-SAMA!) (Instead of holding messed up video, Frank's holding a computer printout) We'll send him crappy fanfics The worst we can find (lalala) He'll have to sit and read them all and we'll monitor his mind (lalala) (Instead of where it shows the guys watching the movie, it shows them ducking behind their seats for 'Artemis's Lover'.) Now keep in mind Joel can't control When the fanfics begin or end (lalala) Because he used those special parts To make his robot friends; ROBOT ROLL CALL: CAMBOT: 'Text only'? Gypsy: 'Oh, my!' Tom Servo: 'Sweet-o!' CROOOOOOOW!!! 'I'm not a hentai!' If your wondering how Joel eats and breathes And other science facts (lalala) Then repeat to yourself *It's just a MiST* You should really just relax for MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7!!!! * * * SOMEWHERE IN DEEP 13.... 09:06 HOURS The hallway was filled with tense, suspenseful, espionage music as Joel slowly made his way through the sub-basement, his eyes and ears keen for any sign of trouble, his footsteps, soft and light. He kept his breathing slow and erratic, only exhaling when his rather obvious cloud of moisture wouldn't give him away. Fortunately, he had plenty of chaff grenades for any remote Cambots he ran into along the way. Pausing to peer around a nearby corner, Joel immediately hugged the wall as he caught a glimpse of TV's Frank standing in front of an elevator, talking to someone. Joel leaned closer to hear. "Stay alert. He'll be through here, I know it." The voice of Dr. Forrester was faintly audible. "By the way, here's a tic tac...." "Are you saying my breath stinks?" Frank accused. "Your moisture cloud's green, Frank." "Oh, bite me!" Frank retorted as the elevators doors closed and he resumed guarding it. Joel placed his back against the wall again and taking a deep breath, rapped his knuckles to the rhythm of 'Shave and a Haircut.' "Huh? Gee, what was that? I sure hope it isn't a super spy coming to infiltrate our base and kill me!" Frank exclaimed as he walked towards the source of the noise. Then Joel leapt out and used the Vulcan Neck Pitch on Frank who obligingly acted startled and fell to the ground. "Thank you for rendering me unconscious. Have a nice day!" Frank croaked out as the elevator doors closed and it began to ascend. Once the elevator started to move, Joel proceeded to remove his trademark red jumpsuit to reveal... a blue colored jumpsuit. Joel struck a cool pose as the espionage music swelled to a crescendo and the following titles appeared behind him: TACTICAL ESPIONAGE ACTION METAL GEAR CROW Suddenly there was a small ringing sound in Joel's ear. Joel bent down on one knee and activated his Codec. "Yes, Gypsy?" "Darmok and Jalad at Deep 13." Gypsy replied. "Huh?" Joel's brow furrowed. "The Mads are here to ring in the new year!" Gypsy clarified. "Oh. Okay. Magic Voice, save my game, please, and I'll get back to it later." The cargo elevator quickly faded away to reveal the familiar balsa wood walls of the Holocabana. "By the way, have you seen Crow and Tom anywhere?" "I think they're still working on that secret invention...." "Again? What the heck are they making, anyway?" Joel wondered aloud. "Well anyway, could you call them to the bridge?" "Will do. Oh, and by the way, I have a little favor to ask for later...." * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE The image of the Mads appeared on the viewscreen as Joel and the bots entered the SOL bridge area. Dr. Clayton Forrester looked up from the control panel, his lips curling into an arrogant sneer as he assumed his usual air of superiority. "Ah, I see Spider Man and his *Mediocre* Friends are up for the day. So good of you to join us. And a Happy New Year, by the way. You do realize I have NO intention of letting old acquaintances be forgot. In fact, the only thing you can count on this year is BAD movies, EVEN WORSE fanfiction, and a smug, superior attitude from yours truly... with the occasional flip remark by Frank here...." "Word." Frank agreed as he folded his arms across his chest. Tom and Crow snickered under their breath. "Well, gee sirs, considering that's all you've given us for the past few years, isn't it about time for a change?" Joel asked innocently. Frank suddenly grew pale as he exclaimed. "Oh my god! He's right, Dr. F! We're becoming superficial shells of our former selves! I've got to start painting or learn Tai Chi so I can be mildly complex again!" Frank hurried off-screen and the sounds of rummaging could be heard in the background. "Frank, Frank, Frank...." Dr. Forrester sighed impatiently. "We're not supposed to be complex. Remember the theme song? You should really just relax? Besides, the best your personality could ever hope for is *trite*...." Dr. Forrester muttered under his breath as he turned back towards the screen. "And, as for you, misanthropes, let's see what *shallow* invention you managed to come up over the holidays...." * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE "Well sirs, my invention this week is for everybody that has some kind of gripe about their favorite RPG game. Like the game is too short or too long, the gameplay is too linear or non-linear, there's too much talking/there's not enough talking, the plot is too simplistic or so complex it goes way over your head, every eight seconds you have to fight the same minor enemies over and over and... well, you get the idea." Joel held up a small flat device with a digital clock built into it. "This device, when attached to any game system, will activate a menu screen that'll let you fix any and all problems you might have with the game by accepting commands from your control pad. Once you make your corrections, millions of nanobots contained inside the device will interface with the game, make the appropriate changes and instantly, the game is now perfectly suited to your tastes!" "We call it 'Nano Problem!' How 'bout it, sirs? Pretty cool, huh?" Joel asked, expectantly. * * * DEEP 13 "Yes... but I have one question that's puzzling me. Where did you get all those nanobots?" Dr. Forrester inquired with a frown. "Are you kidding? This is a spaceship! There's nanobots lying all over the place!" Crow replied. "Mmm. Hm. Alrighty then. Let's get to our invention for this week. Frank?" Dr. Forrester gestured off-screen. Frank wheeled in a display case of action figures up to the viewscreen and then proceeded to juggle four balls with one hand while holding and reading a paperback copy of Richard Wagner's opera, 'Parsifal'. Dr. Forrester glared at him for a moment before continuing. "I came up with the idea for this invention after someone sent me these for Christmas...." Dr. Forrester picked up one of the action figures, only to have it immediately fall to pieces. Dr. F tried to pick up another one, only to have it fall to pieces as well. Frustrated, he gave up and took the head of one of the figures and held it up. "Okay, just zoom in on this!" As Cambot focused its lens, it become apparent the figure's head belonged to Tifa Lockheart, one of the heroines from Final Fantasy VII. "As you can see, Joel, these figures may look nice but if you so much as *breathe* on them, they fall apart faster than the plot of 'A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic'! Therefore, I decided to invent this!" Dr. Forrester pulled out another Tifa figure that didn't fall apart in his hand. "Unlike this shoddily constructed crap...." Dr. F gestured at the broken dolls. "*This* figure is indestructible and can't be damaged by exposure to sunlight, intense heat, teeth from a younger sibling or dog, and can even support the weight of an eighteen wheel truck! You'll have to take my word on that, of course.... And included with each of these dolls is a special package that can't be torn, folded or mutilated and have a vacuum seal to offer maximum protection for your action figure! How'd like them apples, Joel?!?" "It seems like a really great invention for kids... but what's the catch?" Joel asked. "Yeah, what's in it for you?" Crow added. "Glad you asked, Floyd!" Dr. Forrester replied cheerfully. "Since the package and the action figure can't be damaged, the child can buy it, play with it, get bored, take it back, but another one, and start the whole cycle over again! It's the ultimate achievement in toy store fraud! Before too long, every toy store will be out of business, leaving future generations of kids with *NOTHING*! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Dr. Forrester laughed as Joel and the bots fixed him with a withering stare. "Nice invention...." Tom remarked. "...if you're Mr. Grinch." Crow finished. "Hehehehe... yes, well, don't be so supercilious now. After all, that's *my* job, isn't it? And speaking of which, your experiment this week is another in the long line of crappy Sailor Moon lemons, this one stars Mina and everyone's favorite Tuxedo clad hero...." Joel and the bots groan loudly. "Aw, man...." "Tux-Boy!" Dr. Forrester finished with an evil grin. "And that's not the only surprise, but don't worry, I won't spoil it for you. Now, prepare yourselves for 'Triangle Tangle' by CATS! Heeheeheehee... Send them the fanfic, Frank...." Frank came back into view, dressed in the attire of a twelfth century bard and began reciting an ancient tale of a dragon from Stormhaven and the Goddess he protected while attempting to calculate advanced geometry with his fingers.... "WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE?!?!" Dr. Forrester roared as Frank quickly beat a hasty retreat. * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE "Boy, I hope Frank doesn't get any more complex or he'll start making *us* look bad...." Tom remarked. Suddenly, alarms and sirens suddenly rang out. "OHHHH, WE'VE GOT LEMON SIGN!!!" Joel cried out. (Door 6: It slides open on both sides..) (Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you move on..) (Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.) (Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling..) (Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and touches the door. The door vanishes.) (Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.) (Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.) Joel emerged from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right. >Sailor Moon: Triangle Tangle >By CATS Crow: So felines are writing fanfiction now? Tom: I'm surprised they didn't start with an Oscar revengefic. >**** Joel: Anybody got a wagon? >The characters within this story were not created by me. Crow: Yeah, DOGS were responsible for that. >This is a lemon fanfics so you know what you are to do. Either get a >change of pants Crow: Assuming you're still wearing them. >or go get mommy's permission to read it. Crow: Permission to read, riff and burn lemon, sir? Joel: Permission denied. Give it a fair shake, Private. Crow: Aw, nuts! >You must be 18 or GET OUT!!! (Crow and Tom rise from their seats and turn to leave.) Joel: Hey, where do you think you're going? Crow: We're not eighteen, Joel. We have to go. Tom: Rules are rules, you know. Joel: Suit yourselves. (Crow and Tom walk off-screen towards the doors. A few moments later they come back and return to their seats.) Tom: On second thought, it'd be cruel of us to leave you here to riff the fic yourself. Crow: Yeah, we'll stay with you, Joel. Joel: Theater Doors were locked, eh? Crow: Yep. >It contains sex between characters from the series Sailor Moon >(North American Version). Tom: Ah man! I wanted the Continental version! >Any suggestions, problems or comments, All: Check. >send to lionclaw@bellsouth.net. Please address them to CATS. Joel: Or better yet, smear the envelope with cat food and leave it on your doorstep.... >Any otherwise will not be read. I hope you enjoy and cum...er come >again**** Tom: Heh, I wrote that! >Malachite arose from his bed. Tom: As did Woody. Crow: >He couldn't sleep due to the fact that his beloved Zoisite wasn't there >with him and Malachite needed to get out. Tom: Looks like Malachite isn't eighteen either. Joel: Leave it to the Negaverse to not housebreak their agents of destruction. >It was early in the mroning but in the Negaverse there really is no >morning. Tom: Morning has broken.... Crow: Literally. >Malachite changed from his boxers into his uniform. Joel: Commando Malachite reporting for duty! >He wondered what Sailor Moon would be up to today and if he could >capture her, Queen Beryl would generously praise him. Tom: You, like, just totally wail, man! >With a flash of his white covered hand, Malchite disappeard from his >room. Joel: Hoooo! >Darien was jogging down the streets, trying to get stuff out of his >mind. Joel: Damn shrapnel! I knew I should've seen a doctor! >He kept having flashes of a distant place but he didn't know where. Tom: Let's see... I was in a mall... there were thousands of people lying dead... Sailor Jupiter got decapitated... then there was ten loud bangs and... hmm, the rest's a blank. >He stopped to whip the sweat from his head and he noticed Mina in the >arcade. He walked into the arcade and say hi to Andrew who was busy >sweeping. All: Hi, Andrew! >Andrew waved and went back to his work. Tom: Hi, I'm a cameo walk-on. You can conveniently forget about me now. Crow: So many quarters, so little time. Ah, change, change, change, that's all I do.... >Darien proceeded over to Mina. She was busy playing the Sailor V >game and didn't notice him. Crow: Oh, the irony is too much for me folks! Ha-ha! Joel: Well, if I had a video game made after me, I'd probably play it all the time too.... Tom: That reminds me... shouldn't Mina be rich from royalties if Sailor V is so popular? >He quietly tapped her on the shoulder and she jumped up in surprise. >"Oh hello Darien" Mian said. She tried to recover from the shock as >she brushed her hair back. Darien admired her beauty. Tom: Nice horse! >She was wearing a pink shirt with a small pink skirt. Tom: Sayyyy, I look pretty in pink! Molly Ringwald had the right idea! >"What re you doing here so early?" he said as he sat on the stool next >to her. Joel: Check it out! Tux-Boy's drunk! Crow: So many riffs, so little time. >"Well I needed to get out" she said as she put another token into the >game. >"Yeah me too" Joel: Man, everybody's trying to get out of this fic! Tom: Not an encouraging sign. >Darien said as he whipped some more sweat from his brow. Tom: When a Tux-boy comes along, you must whip him. Joel: Geez, thanks for drenching me with your stinky sweat, Darien! >Mina played furiously at the game. She banged it when she lost again. Tom: Whoa! No wonder it's called a joystick! Crow: I've wasted so many quarters on this thing it's about time I got my money's worth! >"Well who need thsi! Joel: Yeha! Thsi Sukcs! >Oh uh Darien would you like to go for a walk" Mina said in a shy but >confident voice. Crow: Da heck? Tom: Shy confidence, from the makers of Jumbo Shrimp and Absolute Diversity! >"Sure, my jogs pretty much over with. Let's go" he said as he grabbed >her hand. Tom: Geez, somebody hasn't had any in a while! >They both stood and walked out of the arcade. They walked in a >nearby park. They talked about school, what they plan on doing in >the summer, Serena, Rei, an old boyfriend of Mina's Joel: What is an airhead, a hothead and a butthead! >and then it got onto the subject of sex. Joel: Yeah, I'm considering having my sex changed. Do you think I'd be cuter as a boy? >Mina was not a virgin but had only had sex with one person in her life. Tom: Why I chose Umino, I'll never know. >Darien usually got some on the weekends, but he could get a girl or >sometimes a guy to suck his cock at night. Joel: Uh, wouldn't having that many sex partners put the future of the Moon Kingdom in Jeopardy, not to mention his destiny to marry Serena? Crow: Hey, if it's locked in stone, he might as well have some fun now, right? >Darien felt his cock begin to swell up in his boxers and Mina's pussy >started to get moist. Tom: Gee, all this talk about sex is making me horny! I wonder why? >She felt it trickle in her panties and they sat down on a bench. Crow: *squish* Joel: Ewww.... >They leaned in to kiss each other Crow: Serena? Reeny? Moon Kingdom? Who gives a shit! Let's boink! >but were stopped when they heard a scream. Crow: The SM fanbase? Joel: Canon!? This isn't CANON?!? >They turned and looked and Malachite was attacking some people in >the park. Tom: I was stalking in the park one day.... Crow: I don't suppose he's ever been to Sunnydale? >Darien and Mina quickly jumped into action. Tom: That's fast work, there. Crow: May as well get a quickie in while everyone's distracted. >Mina held up her transformation pen and said "VENUS POWER!". Tom: VENUS POWER AND THE SENSHI OF THE FUTURE!!! >With a series of glows and stars she was turned into Sailor Venus. Joel: Slyly concealing the little known fact that she's *NUDE* during her transformation sequence! >Darien held out a rose and he was soon transformed into Tuxedo >Mask. Tom: Hello, I'd like you to have this flower from the religious consciousness church, would you care to make a donation? >Malachite looked to the two fighters for justice and smiled. He knew >that if he couldn't get Sailor Moon at least one of the sailor socuts >and Tuxedo Mask would do. >Malachite raised his hand and a bolt of energy hit Sailor Venus and >Tuxedo Mask. Crow: Wow! That felt great! I feel so peppy! Do it again! >They both fell to the floor and were unable to move. Crow: They've fallen... and they can't get work! Joel: Some heroes! They went down with one shot! >Malachite then teleported all of them to a secret room in the Negaverse. Crow: Cool! A secret level! Bonus points galore! Joel: Actually, it's just an ordinary closet in Malachite's room, but... heh... just humor him. >A few hours later Sailor Venus and Tuxedo Mask awakened. Joel: ...to the worst morning breath of the day. >Sailor Venus shook her head and then looked around. Tom: Oh, that's just great. Kidnapped again after leaving the arcade! How can the same shit happen to the same girl twice?!? Crow: It's 'Games 2: Play Harder!' >The room was completely black. She then realized that all she had on >was a bra and her panties. Crow: So the bra's a loaner then? >Tuxedo Mask looked at her in shock, feeling excited but curious at the >same time. Tom: The room's completely black and I can't tell if Mina in her underwear or not, but somehow I just *KNOW* she is! >Venus tried to cover herself but she heard someone tell her not to bother. Crow: No, don't bother! Really! >Soon Malachite appeared. He moved over to Venus and started >removing her bra. Joel: Hey, get lost Tux-Boy! Once with you is enough! Crow: What? I'm over here! >Venus tried to get away but then Malachite gripped her arm painfully. >She let out a scream. "Now don't move little Sailor" he said as he >unsnapped her bra. Joel: Wait, don't tell me... darkness is Venus's kryptonite? >He pulled it off and admired her firm breasts. Tom: Oh, Malachite has night vision too, I see. Crow: Hey, he doesn't need to see them to know they're firm. Joel: Crow.... Crow: Hee hee hee! >Tuxedo Mask stared and his cock began to get hard again. Joel: I don't know what's happening over there but I've gotta pee REALLY BAD! >Malachite moved his hand over one of her nipples. Crow: And now I will recreate my favorite scene from ID4 using my hand as the flying saucer and your nipple as the helpless city! Here it comes! Watch the saucer as it slowly casts a shadow over your helpless nipple! Tom: I shudder to think what he'll use for his 'Primary Weapon'.... >Venus tried to fight it but she moaned. Crow: Of course she did. >"You enjoy this" Malachite said as he leaned in. He kissed her hard on >her mouth and moved his hand to her other nipple. Malachite let his >tongue slide into her mouth and Venus had to let him in. Crow: Because, darn it, biting his tongue when he's forcing it into her mouth is just SO wrong.... Joel: Powers, Venus? Use your powers, maybe? >He began lick all over the inside of her mouth Tom: Looks like someone skipped lunch today.... Crow: Mmph! Gimmie that gum! I want that gum! Mppmh.... >as he moved his hand up and down her chest. Crow: Is he seducing her or performing C.P.R? Tom: Either way, I hear it's good for the heart! Joel: >Malachite finally removed his mouth from hers and salvia trailed his >mouth. Malachite moved his hands down to Mina hips and pulled her >closer to him. Malachite proceeded to grind his hips up against hers, >making them both moan. Joel: Oh Darien... I mean, Malachite.... Tom: Don't mind me. I'm just taking a short breather... You wouldn't happen to have any popcorn, would ya? Gummie Bears, maybe? >Sailor Venus's pussy began to get wet in her panties. Crow: Where else would it get wet? Her socks? >Malachite stopped grinded his hips and moved his hand down her >small body. Tom: Wait, I've got it! He doing Tai Chi on her! >He placed one hand into her panties and slipped a finger across her >pussy. Sailor Venus let out a small moan. He pulled the hand out of >her panties and brought it to his lips. He slowly licked the juices off >of his white glove. Tom: Oh, he performed the old white glove inspection on Venus. Crow: Mmmm! She spreads like margarine but she tastes like butter! >Tuxedo Mask stood to his feet and walked over to them. Tom: Well, it's about time! Finished with your little nap in the corner? Joel: That morning jog must have REALLY taken it out of him. >He removed his gloves and began removing his cape. He took off his >black jacket and pulled down his pants. Malachite looked at him and >admired the tent in his light blue boxers. All: >Venus moaned as Malachite moved his fingers over her panties. >He rubbed them over the area where her pussy was. Tom: Hey! Hands off my Artemis, mister! >Venus moaned excitedly. >"Well you want to join the fun!" Malachite said as he moved his hand >steadily over Venus's panties. Crow: Man, oh, man, I LOVE the feel of cotton! >Tuxedo Mask moved over to Venus and covered one of her breats >with his mouth. He sucked Crow: Nuff said! >and flicked his tongue over her nipple. Sailor Venus was in heaven Crow: This is so cool! I've got to start hanging around outside the arcade more often! Maybe Andrew will kidnap me next! >with Malchite rubbing over her pussy Tom: Does this arouse you? Does this arouse you? I'm not touching you.... >and Tuxedo Mask licking her chest. Tuxedo Mask began circling her >nipple with his tongue. He then began to nibble at her nipple. All: Tom: I don't know why but I like that. Nibble at her nipple. Joel: Nibble at her nipple. You can nibble her ear and nibble her elbow but nothing beats the nibble at the nipple. >Sailor Venus was breathing heavily and Malachite was enjoying >rubbibg the fabric over her pussy. Malachite reached down and began >rubbing his hand over Tuxedo Mask's chest. Tom: Looks like we're entering Yaoi territory. Crow: Aw, man! A Yaoi lemon I can handle, but... Tux-Boy... Why'd it have to be Tux-Boy! Joel: Stay frosty, man. >He pinched and tugged at one of his nipples through the white fabric of >his shirt. Joel: Next, he nibbled the nimble nipple.... Crow: Bad mental image, Joel. >Malachite stopped rubbing on Venus and Tuxedo Mask stopped suckling >her breasts. "Well let's just see the size of the cock we'll be working with" Tom: And if it meets my personal standards, I dare say your cock will have a long and prosperous future with my company! Crow: I give it a week, tops. >Malachite said as he tugged at Tuxedo Mask's boxers. Sailor Venus >recovered from her sensations Tom: But her vibrations were still too good to let go. >and began unbuttoning Tuxedo Mask's white shirt. She ripped it off >of him. Joel: So, everyone in the Sailor Moon universe does their shopping at K-Mart! I think it's time we faced that fact! >Tuxedo Mask removed his mask and Sailor Venus was shocked to see it >was Darien. (Crow facefaults out of his chair. Then he quickly climbs back into his seat, shaking his head.) Crow: OKAY... I *suppose* I could suspend disbelief that Mina didn't know that Tux-Boy and Darien were the same since everyone else in the series never figures it out too... but considering Darien changed into Tuxedo Mask right in front of Mina while *she* changed into Sailor Venus right in front of Darien to fight Malachite in the FIRST PLACE....!! >Tuxedo Mask slowly pulled down his boxers. First showing his pubic hair >that surrounded his swollen cock Joel: He only has one pubic hair? >and then he pulled them off completely. Tom: Gee, I wonder if the author will embellish the size of Tux-Boy's weenie.... >He stood with a 9 inch cock. Tom: Yep. Crow: And so Tux-Boy joins the elite group of people that lies like a dog about their penis size. Joel: The Many. The Shameless. The Small. >Venus stood in shock again. Crow: Man, she'd be shook up by the opening of a library! >The first and only guy she fucked had only a six inch dick. Tom: And, as any woman will tell you, nothing less than a foot will do. >Malachite smiled and said "That's nothing compared to mine". He >laughed and with a flash of his hand all of his clothing was off except >his boxers. Crow: I'd sing the Cutey Honey Theme Song if I didn't think the imagery would kill me. >He pointed to Venus and motioned for her to come to him. Joel: Come here... COME... HERE! >She walked over to him and pulled his black, silk boxers down slowly. Tom: I thought he was naked underneath his uniform? Crow: Trust you to remember that little detail. Tom: Hey, watch it! >It soon revealed a semi hard six inch cock. Tuxedo Mask laughed and >pointed to his dick. All: Tom: There, we laughed at it. Now flee in shame and self-loathing! >"That's not even close to the size of my dick" he said. "Wait" he said >and grabbed Venus's hand. She began rubbing her hand up and down >on his cock. Within seconds it grew huge in her hand. Joel: Thank goodness I had some spare Viagra in my hat! Crow: Speaking of which, the fic never mentioned him taking it off. You don't suppose Tux-Boy makes whoopie with his hat on, do you? Joel: That'd be a little awkward. Tom: Party on, dude! >Soon her hand couldn't even hold it. Joel: It keeps slipping between my fingers! Crow: >His cock slapped against his stomach and Malachite grinned. Tom: BOW BEFORE THE MIGHTY WAND OF MALACHITE, FOOLISH MORTAL! >Tuxedo Mask stared at the 12 inch cock. Malachite waved his hand >and a bed appeared in the dark room. Joel: Which nobody could see anyway so they continued what they were doing.... >He grabbed Venus's hand Crow: Again?!? Joel: The fic keeps lapping itself! Tom: In more ways than one. >and let her over to the bed. Joel: Shouldn't he get the lights first? Tom: Oww! My shin! Okay, I found the edge of the bed! Now I'll just... oops! WAUUUUUUUUUGHHH!!!! I FELL ON MY PENILE IMPLANT!!! MEDIC!!! >"Come over here Tuxedo Mask!" he said with a hint of begging. Crow: I'm finished... *choke*... You'll have to continue the lemon scene without me... ugggghh....does anybody know how to make a splint? >Tuxedo Mask walked over to Malachite and Malachite pushed him on >the bed. He straddled his head and aimed his long dick at his mouth. Tom: *smack* Owww! That's my eye, you idiot! >Tuxedo Mask slowly opened his mouth and Malachite shoved six inches >of his cock in. Tuxedo Mask gagged and then got used to the length. >He began licking the head and up the shaft of his cock. Malachite shoved >a couple of more inches of his cock in Tuxedo Mask's mouth. Crow: Causing Tux-Boy to gag yet again. Tom: Hey! I never said I'd deep throat, you insensitive JERK! >Sailor Venus began to remove her panties and rubbed her fingers over >her pussy lips. Tom: Maybe she's putting the whammy on her privates? Joel: Booga Booga Booga! >She stuck a finger in there as she watched her friend suck Malachite's >cock. Malachite soon withdrew his cock from Darien's mouth. "Ok >Darien oh would you prefer Tuxedo Mask. Tom: How about stud muffin? Joel: Mmmm... no. >Well anyways Joel: *Anyway*! >it's time you gave Mina or Sailor Venus a good fucking to prepare her >for my huge cock!" Malachite said. Joel: Do you realize what you just said? Crow: Feel free to keep whichever name suits your needs. >Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Venus looked in surprise. Darien got up and >got on top of Mina. Crow: Hey, those special effects are expensive! One transformation per fanfic, pal! >He began sliding his hands on Mina's thighs. Tom: They greased her up! Joel: Either that or she's suffering from hypothermia. >He slid his finger towards Mina's cunt. He felt the jucies coming from >her wet pussy. Tom: Juciefruits! All right! Save these for tomorrow's matinee! >He spread her legs and leaned down between them. Joel: He move like robot. He followed the script. Tom: Hey, we resemble that remark! Crow: Watch it with the robot riffs, Joel. Joel: Oops, sorry guys. >Mina felt of surge of pleasure as she felt Darien's tongue in her cunt. >He licked all over the inside of her moist sex. He flicked his tongue >on her clit, Tom: No! Not the flickering! Anything but the flickering! >making her even more wet. Mina began moving on the bed as Darien's >tongue explored her pussy. Crow: Notice that just about every sentence this author writes is a "he did this, she did that" sentence. How about a little... I dunno... VARIETY!? >His tongue rubbed over the folds and licked at her clit. Soon Mina came >in a fury against his mouth, panting and calling his name. Darien >moved up again and grabbed her hips. >He slowly slid his member inside of her small, wet cunt. Mina relaxed >a bit, trying not to feel pain. Fortunately It had been awhile since she >had a cock in her pussy and never was it this long. Crow: So her other lovers were only inside her for *one* second? >Darien began pumping his cock in and out of her, Joel: I'll either satisfy her or inflate her to thirty times her normal size! >bucking all over the bed. Crow: Whoa, they're doing it funky chicken style! >Malachite slid his hands over Darien's ass as it moved up and down. Tom: Funny how nobody in this lemon seems ready for a full 'hands on' experience. >Mina let out soft cries and sweat poured from her body. Crow: Yikes! They'll have a hard time whipping all that! >Darien moaned furiously as he fucked Sailor Venus. Tom: Is it possible to moan furiously? I mean, how can you do it without sounding like a sick cow or something? >He called her name several times and made her feel good. Crow: *gasp* *pant* M-Mina Mina Bo... Benna... Banana Fanna... *wheeze*... F-Fo... Fina... Me Mi Mo Mina... *gasp*... M-M-MINAAAAAA!!! Joel: Cute, Crow. >Mina lost control as she felt Darien's balls slapping her ass. Crow: Crow lost his lunch as I felt my stomach acids slapping my digestive tract.... Tom: Urrrgh... Must not... form... mental picture... of Darien's... *gag*... balls... HUUUUURRRRRGHHHH!!!" Crow: You pictured them, didn't you? Tom: Uh-huh... hey, wait a minute! My alarm just went off! It's time to go! Yayyyyyy!! Crow: Huh? But the lemon isn't over yet, is it? Tom: I guess we're ran long again. Can't be helped! Joel: I won't lose sleep over it. Let's go, guys! (Joel stands up and picks up Tom before following Crow out of the theater.) * * * DEEP 13 T.V's Frank whimpered in pain as he tried to write a book on wilderness survival while learning Mandarin from a self-help tape in his walkman. He was trapped under a huge pile of junk while Dr. Forrester stood over him with his fists clenched. "For the last time, Frank! You are NOT going to become complex! Are you listening to me? Frank!! Don't make me get the scalpel, Frank! I know how to use it!! FRANK!!!" Dr. Forrester screamed. "Well, they also say pure and simple is the best way to go...." Frank reluctantly admitted as Dr. Forrester dragged him over to the console where he gave the button a quick press. THE REAL END.... (Feel free to hum the closing theme as you read my author's notes.) Special Author Notes for 9/00: Well, I finally got around to revising this MSTing and while it's far from perfect, I removed some stuff that I felt inappropriate and reinserted the Yaoi lemon scene that I had previously cut out. I apologize for trimming the ending but it would have added another several pages to the MSTing and I was too lazy to make this a two-parter. ;P I'd like to give very special thanks to Gary Kleppe, who proofread and gave me C&C on the MSTing, as well as Robin "Lunari" Seabaugh, who helped with the C&C for the MSTing. I couldn't have finished it without their help and I can't thank them enough. :) I'd also like to thank Timothy McLees, Luna and Artemis, Chris Bergstrom, Jay Dee Archer (Jupiter Knight), Michael K. Neylon, Demon Stalker, Oscar, and Sakura for being nice enough to post my MSTings on their webpages, as well as Theo Mintesnot for coming up with a love theme for this series by changing a few words. I changed a few myself but it was his idea and I appreciate it. :) Finally I'd like to thank CATS for writing "Triangle Tangle" and giving me a lot of material to work with. I hope you're not too offended. It's all meant in good fun. If you are, feel free to MST my own works, I won't mind a bit. C&C, as always, is appreciated. (megane67@rogers.com) Feel free to send in any anime fanfics that you would like to see MSTed and I'll take a look at it. Also, if you're interested in seeing any previous episodes of this series, I'll be happy to e-mail them to you. ;) Sincerely, Megane 6.7 'A MSTing for All Seasons' http://www.nabiki.com/mst Everything What Is Crap (formerly Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings) http://www.svamcentral.org/ewic Shizen's Versatile Home Page V3.0 http://svhp.webjump.com/ (Alternate site: http://www.tass.org/fanfic/MST3k/) SEASON ONE ------------------ 101- "GAMES" by Artemis (SM Lemon) 102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (Original Draft) by Oscar (SM Lemon) 103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA" by The Flashman (SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER) 104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic) w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin (R1/2 Fanfic) 105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic) 106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson (Nuku Nuku Fanfic) 107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton (La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover) 108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic) 109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky (SM/WWF Crossover) w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon (SM/RL Crossover) 110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER CHRISTMAS" by Dr. Thinker (SM Christmas Fanfic) SEASON TWO ------------------- 201- "THAT GIRL" PT. 1-2 by Oscar (SM Lemon) 202- "VIRGIN WARRIOR SAILOR MOON" by Umino (SM Lemon) 203- "*R*P*M*" by Flynn (SM/SPAWN Crossover) 204- "RANKO'S LIFE" PT. 1-2 by Hitomi Ichinohei (R1/2 Fanfic) 205- "TRAPPED" by Mr_Jazz (SM Lemon) 206- "OSCAR TOON" PT. 1-4 by Oscar (SM/DBZ/WB Crossover) 207- "CALIFORNIA DREAMING" by Shakari (Mutiple Crossovers) 208- "A RANMA 1/2 FANFIC" PT. 1-2 by Sheep (R1/2 Fanfic) 209- "TRIANGLE TANGLE" by CATS (SM Lemon) 210- "THE KIDNAPPING" PT. 1-2 by SMendou (UY Lemon) SEASON THREE ---------------------- 301- "A WET DREAM COME TRUE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Lemon) 302- "TORTURED ECHO" PT. 1-4 by Trakal (R1/2 Fanfic) 303- "RANMA KILLS!" PT. 1-2 by Sir Asayogure (R1/2 Fanfic) 304- "OKONOMIYAKI SUMMER" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic) w/short "UNDER THE MISTLETOE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic) 305- "XMAS SPECIAL: A CHRISTMAS FIT FOR A POKEMON" by Dr. Thinker (Pokemon Christmas Fanfic) 306- "9-BALL DREAMS" PT. 1-2 by Mr_Jazz (SM Crossover Lemon) 307- "WINTER" by Joseph Palmer (R1/2 Fanfic) 308- "UKYO GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES" PT. 1-2 by R_Vincent (R1/2 Lemon) 309- "I WANT TO MEET A PRINCE LIKE DEAR OLD DAD, MOM, SIS, BRO & FRISKY!" by Katherine (Utena Lemon) 310- "THE IO SAGA" PT. 1-4 by Sarah J. Gates (SM Fanfic) SEASON FOUR -------------------- 401- "LINES AS Q PART 2" PT. 1-2 by Dave Hines (ST:TNG Fanfic) 402- "RAW IS ORO" by Jedi Master Horace (WWF/Rurouni Kenshin Crossover) 403- "SABLE TAKES THE GOLD" by Martin4Life (WWF Lemon) 404- "SOMETIMES" by Writer By The Sea (GW/SM Crossover) SHORTY! ------------- 101- SUBLIMINALLY SEDUCE WOMEN INSTANTLY! 102- THE UGLIEST WOMEN ON THE NET! 103- PHEROMONES! 104- THE INTERNET SPY AND YOU!! 105- THE SECRET FLAW! OTHER MSTINGS I'VE CONTRIBUTED TO --------------------------------------------------------- "DIMISIONAL TROUBLE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic) "MOONDUSTED" by Stephen Ratliff (SM/TNG Crossover) Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/ "THE COUNTESS CHRONICLES" by Lin Lin (SM Dark Lemon) "9 1/2 CHIPMUNKS" by Toon Dreams (Rescue Rangers Yaoi Lemon) Lefty's MSTings http://lefty.simplenet.com/MSTings/index.htm 'MYSTERY WRESTLING THEATER 3000', POST 105: DOUBLE TROUBLE! (Two interviews with the Ultimate Warrior and '3:16 Rulzs!' by Oracle) Website Number 9 MSTings http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml "THE DAY OF EMERGANCE" by Jeffrey Lee (Ranma 1/2/Eddings/SM Crossover) Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page http://www.akane.org/gary/comics.html *New Collaberations* "REDHEADS" by Robert "Kenko" Haynie (Slayers/Ranma 1/2 Crossover) "WILD SILVER" by Francis Bourque (Sailor Moon/Ranma 1/2 Crossover) "RELATIONSHIPS" by Sidewinder (Neon Genesis Evangelion/Sailor Moon Crossover) "A LITTLE CHANGE OF PLANS" by Wishbringer (Neon Genesis Evangelion/Ranma 1/2 Crossover) "HOUSE OF IKARI" by Teisu (Neon Genesis Evangelion Fanfic) OTHER GREAT WEBPAGES WORTH VISITING Zoogz's Fanfiction and Fandom Page http://www.nav.to/Zoogz The Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot"Wong http://www.anime.sobhrach.com\~jeffwong\index.html 'SuicideBlast' by: Keener http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/3342/Suicide.html Additional links for Keener's stuff -- http://tmffa.com/ -- http://www.redrival.com/myrriden/index.html Flashman's Flash Point http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/3105/ JOLT!!! http://members.home.net/jolt.caffiene/welcome.htm Website Number 9 MSTings http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml Lord Carnage's Cursed Fanboys Page! http://carnage.fanfic.org A Sailor Moon Romance http://moonromance.simplenet.com/ Zen's Fanfiction Page http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html Webdragon's Lair http://members.tripod.com/~WebDragon/ Sean Gaffney's Webpage http://www.thekeep.org/~sean/index.html Seanbaby's NES Page http://www.seanbaby.com/nes.htm X-Entertainment http://www.x-entertainment.com/ "Mina played furiously at the game. She banged it when she lost again. Well who need thsi!" Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 1999 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Keep Circulating the Fanfics....