MST6.7 Ep. 104 - "Judge Brainitite", Dr. Thinker

*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)

(The future isn't what it used to be....)

"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON ONE)

EPISODE 4: JUDGE BRAINITITE

(A Sailor Moon MSTing)

MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7

This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.

Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, television
shows, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc....

Sailor Moon is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the
distributors of her work.

Ranma 1/2 is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and all the
distributors of her work.

"Judge Brainitite" is the property of Dr. Thinker and he's welcome to it.
I do not intend to offend him for making fun of his work like this but
I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as
another form of C&C. ;)

This fanfic is rated PG-13 for mature content.

DEEP 13
01:22 HOURS

Dr. Clayton Forrester stifled a yawn as he placed his latest
invention on the table. Hours of sweat, Frank's blood, and tears went
into getting the pitch and frequency just right but in the end it had all
been worth it. He now had an invention that was sure to be better than
anything Joel could come up with....

Then again, Joel could be very creative when he wanted to be,
much as Dr. Forrester loathed to admit it. It had been one of the primary
reasons he had chosen Joel to be send into space, he simply couldn't stand
to be in the same room with him without being frustrated....

"Hmm... Perhaps I should reveal my invention to him now, before
he gets the chance to make one of his own. Sure, it's hardly fair but then
again I'm evil! Being unfair is what I'm all about!" Dr. Forrester thought
to himself, an evil grin appearing on his face as he prepared to summon
Joel....

* * *

SATELLITE OF LOVE

"GAH!" Joel sprang up, startled out of his sleep. Gypsy was
leaning over him.

"Sorry to wake you like that Joel, but the Mads are calling."
Gypsy explained.

"What? Now?" Joel glanced at his chronometer. "You've got to
be kidding me...."

"Crow and Tom are already waiting for you by the viewscreen.
I left you some hot coffee on the table to help you wake up." Gypsy added
as she turned to leave.

"Thanks Gypsy." Joel replied as Gypsy left the room. Joel then
got out of the bed and walked over to the mirror. He looked at his
reflection. His hair was wild and tangled as always. Taking a moment to
run his hands through it, he left his room heading for the bridge.

* * *

Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot were clad in red bathrobes, both
looking cranky and worn. Although they didn't actually require sleep
like Joel did, they liked to shut down during the night for maintenance and
interrupting that process was irritating to say the least. Tom's nightcap
flopped over on one side as he turned to greet Joel who had just arrived.

"Hey Joel, why are the Mads bothering us this time of night?
They're not going to change the experiment time to night from now
on, are they?" Tom inquired.

"I know as much as you do, Tom." Joel replied wearily as he
took the cup of coffee Gypsy had left for him on the table. He took a
taste and grimaced. With most of Gypsy's functions devoted to keeping
the satellite running smoothly, her coffee-making skills were mediocre
to say the least. At least it wasn't decaffeinated. "Let's find out what
this is all about." Joel muttered as he pressed the button to acknowledge
Dr. F's signal. A moment later, Dr. Forrester's image appeared.

"Well, well, well... If it isn't the three stooges. I trust I didn't
wake you from your peaceful slumber?"

"No, sir. We were just reading the bible." Tom replied
sarcastically.

Dr. F smiled. "So touchy... No matter. I've called you here
today because I just finished my latest invention and I simply couldn't
wait to show it to you."

"But I haven't had time to...." Joel protested.

"...to make an invention of your own? Well, isn't that too
bad, Joel. I suppose you'll just have to...."

"No, I finished my invention last night. I just haven't had time
to set it up yet." Joel corrected him.

Dr. F's jaw dropped. "You mean you already finished it?!?"

"Yep. Just need to get it in here and hook it up. Shouldn't take
more than 10 minutes, tops."

Dr. F barely contained his rage as he replied. "V... Very well.
I'll wait until you're ready before I begin...."

* * *

DEEP 13

Dr. F stabbed the button on his console, turning off the
monitor. "So you think you've gotten the better of me, do you? Well,
let's see how he likes doing his experiment a little early this week, eh
Frank? Frank? FRANK!"

Dr. Forrester started searching for his inept assistant, deciding
to check Frank's room first. He was about to open the door when he
noticed it had been forced. Puzzled, Dr. F carefully stepped inside.

The room was dark and it took a minute for his eyes to adjust to
it. He searched for a light switch and was startled to hear a voice behind
him.

"Clayton...."

Dr. Forrester whirled to see a silhouette of a man sitting in a
chair, the shadows hiding his face. "Help me...." the strange but familiar
voice croaked out. "You left me... at Gizmonic... Help me...."

Dr. F rushed towards the figure and hauled him to his feet,
bringing him into the light. It was Frank!

"Frank?!? What the hell are you doing?" Dr. F exclaimed.

Frank's eyes were wide and his face pale as he replied. "Climb
the steps, Clayton... Climb the steps of Deep 13...."

"SNAP OUT OF IT!!!" Dr. F bellowed as he shook him.

Frank's eyes suddenly came into focus. "D...Dr. F? Where am I?"

"You're here Frank... Deep 13! Now why are you acting like a
reject from the exorcist?"

"I... I think the new head you made for me is malfunctioning...."

"Gee, you think?" Dr. F snapped. "Just follow me for
now and I'll recalibrate your cerebral cortex and perform a level three
diagnostic on your neural net later!"

"Huh?"

"I'll rip your head off and tap it a couple of times with a
hammer, OKAY?" Dr. Forrester growled as he walked back over to the
screen and summoned Joel once more.

* * *

SATELLITE OF LOVE

Joel rubbed his eyes, and tried to stay focused as Dr. Forrester
began describing his latest invention to them.

"As you may or may not be aware. The genetically engineered
Killer bees, a combination of European and African bees, have been
wrecking havoc on the eco-systems of third world countries and are even
now approaching the United States borders. These bees, much like the
tribbles, contribute nothing and consume everything in their path,
multiplying at an alarming rate."

"What we've come up with..." Frank joined in. "Is a cassette
tape that plays special music on a unique frequency that only this
species of bee can pick up with their antennas."

"Let me guess, *Flight of the Bubblebee*, right?" Tom
wisecracked, as Joel and Crow chuckled to themselves.

"Very funny. Get Henny Youngman on the phone." Dr. F
replied wryly. "The music that THIS tape plays is very similar to the
relaxation tapes that people buy in order to lull them to sleep. Crap like
rain falling or the ocean's roar, etc, etc...."

"When the killer bees hear this music, it drains all of the
aggression out of them and soon they are as harmless as a fruit fly, no
longer able to dominate other colonies of bees and allowing the
eco-system to proceed normally." Frank finished for him.

"Let me get this straight...." Joel said, shaking his head with
disbelief. "You've invented a relaxation tape for BEES?"

"I'll bet when Dr. F presents it to the Fraternal Order of Mad
Science, the whole place will be buzzing...." Crow joked.

"Forgive me for asking...." Joel continued. "But that doesn't
sound too evil for you guys. In fact, if that thing actually works, it would
benefit mankind, not increase your chances to rule the world."

Dr. F. smiled. "Joel, Joel, Joel... You disappoint me. Don't
you think if I can invent a relaxation tape, I can also invent a *frustration*
tape?"

"That's right. Once the killer bees have been relaxed, no one
will care when they eventually come into the states. Then we wait a few
years... letting the world believe they no longer have to worry... and then,
when they least expect it...." Frank's voice trailed off.

"I'll use the frustration tape to drive the killer bees back into
a frenzy the likes of which Earth has never seen! Then they'll have to
surrender or suffer the consequences! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! What
do you say to that, Joel?"

Joel shrugged. "What can I say? Good luck I guess...."

"Oh? And I suppose YOUR invention is something to
BEEhold?" Dr. F taunted.

"Let's me show it to you, Dr. F." Joel replied as he gestured at
a large screen TV

"This invention is for all the people in North America who like
to watch anime but have to wait months, sometimes even years for them
to be translated into subtitled and dubbed versions because they can't
understand Japanese. The Close Caption system on this TV has been
specially modified so all you have to do is insert the anime into your
VCR and instantly it translates all the dialogue and displays it in any
language you want at the bottom of the screen."

"You can even adjust the size of the box to your liking. This
way the North American distributors can simply sell the tapes as they are
without tampering with the contents and wasting valuable time subtitling
them or hiring voice actors to dub them."

"We decided to name it "T.R.I.S.H." That's *Translations Right
Into Subtitled Headers* We called it that in honor of Trish Ledoux, who's
voice-over of Princess Kalm in Outlanders inspired us to finish it ASAP.
What do you think, sirs?" Joel asked.

"Not bad... Not as good as mine... but not bad...." Dr. Forrester
replied arrogantly.

Joel yawned. "Well, if you're done sirs. Can we go back to bed
now?"

"No, you can't go back to bed now!" Dr. Forrester angrily
replied. "I've decided to run the experiment now, Joel. It's another
Sailor Moon fanfic...."

"Another one? Don't you have any other types? Like Ranma
1/2, Urusei Yatsura....?" Tom suggested

"Samurai Pizza Cats?" Joel added.

"Hey, I like Sailor Moon!" Crow protested.

"Oh, stop your whining!" Dr. Forrester admonished. "Anyway,
the name of this fanfic is... is...."

* * *

DEEP 13

Dr. Forrester growled in annoyance as the fanfic in question
was nowhere to be found. "Frank, where the hell's...."

Frank's eyes had glossed over again. Then he laughed, a
sound of pure joy. "Nuku Nuku loves Papa-san." he said in a sweet
voice, a wicked smile on his face.

Dr. Forrester rolled his eyes. "Oh brother... This will take a
while to fix." Dr. Forrester frantically searched the filing cabinet for
the fanfic and was about to give up when he came upon something he
had previously dismissed. He rushed back to the viewscreen.

* * *

SATELLITE OF LOVE

Dr. Forrester cleared his throat. "Uh... due to technical
difficulties with Frank, the main fanfic will be temporarily delayed.
In the meantime, since you've expressed a desire to see something
other than Sailor Moon, here's a Ranma 1/2 short. 'Ranma 1/2:
Accused Pt. 1'"

"So you're saving the other fanfic for tomorrow?" Joel asked
hopefully.

"Not a chance! I'm only offering you a delay, not a reprieve."
Dr. F snapped.

Joel and the robots groaned.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm evil and all that...." Dr. Forrester said as
his image disappeared from the screen.

"Great... As if one fanfic wasn't enough...." Tom sighed.

"Look on the bright side, Tom...." Joel said. "At least you
got what you asked for...."

Tom was about to make a sarcastic reply when alarms and
sirens suddenly rang out.

"OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!" Joel cried out.

Author's Note: Ranma 1/2: Accused is the property of Karmin and he's
welcome to it. I do not intend to offend him for making fun of
his work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone
does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;)

(Door 6: It's a soap bubble. You pop it and it disappears.)

(Door 5: It's made of jungle vines. A machete hacks a path through.)

(Door 4: It falls towards you, missing your foot by millimeters.)

(Door 3: It's wooden and folds into stairs that go up and back down

(Door 2. It's made of multi-colored puzzle pieces that explode outwards)

(Door 1: It swirls open from the center.)

(Door .7: The camera pans downward where a small hatch pops open.)

Joel walks into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow
following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom
from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of
the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right.

>karmin.stjean@the-spa.com wrote:

>AUTHOR'S NOTE: I haven't labeled this a lemon since there is no
>sex in the story and although Ranma accuses Ryoga of raping Akane
>she wasn't raped but simply made to look like she had been by
>someone who wanted to dishonor both her and Ryoga.

Crow: There goes any suspense that may have existed for this story.

>Also, Genma might seem callous as he's calling for everyone to
>come and eat during all of this,

Tom: <Genma> Akane? Akane who? Let's eat!

>but he's been busy with his meditation and doesn't know that Akane's
>been hurt at this point in the story.

Tom: <Genma, meditating> I'm a lean, mean, fiancee arranging
machine. I'm a lean, mean, fiancee arranging machine. I'm a....

>Third, Ryoga is *not* dumped in Spring of Drowned Girl by Ranma
>but rather doused with a little of the instant variety that Shampoo has
>with her. Although Onna-Ryoga doesn't become P-chan this is *not*
>an indication she is cured. The normal curse has been temporarily
>overridden, *not* cured. Once the year is up, Ryoga will go back to
>turning into P-chan whenever he's doused with cold water.

Crow: Why is the author giving away the entire plot?

Tom: To avoid flames?

Joel: Well, I can't wait to see what's going to happen next. Oh wait, I
already know....

>So here goes:

>RANMA 1/2: Untitled.

Crow: I thought Dr. F said it was 'Ranma 1/2: Accused'?

Tom: The previous title of this fic has disavowed any knowledge of
the author's actions.

Joel: Isn't there already a story that goes by that name? A Jeeves and
Ranma crossover....?

>"Ryoga!"

Tom: That's my name.

Crow: Ask me again and I'll tell you to bite me.

>Ryoga Hibiki turned. "Ranma."
>"This belong to you?"
>Ryoga turned and saw the bandanna Ranma was twirling. "Yes."

Joel: How could Ryouga see the bandanna if he turned again?

Tom: His *spidey* sense? How the hell should I know?

>He went over and Ranma punched him in the jaw.
>"Ranma! What the hell?!"
>"That's for Akane!" Ranma snarled.
>"Akane?! But...?"
>"I knew you wanted her, but to do what you did..."
>"What the hell are you talking about Ranma?"
>"You raped her."

Joel: Wow! I never saw it coming! Oh, wait, yes I did.

Crow: Maybe this should be in script format?

>They'd been fighting while this was going on and had gotten so
>wrapped up in the battle that they hadn't realized they were now in
>the middle of the training hall. Thus, Ranma's accusation had been
>heard by quite a few people.
>"I didn't..." Ryoga insisted.
>"This bandanna was found around her wrists, man!" Ranma accused.
>"You didit and then you tied her up so she couldn't go for help."

Joel: <Cheech> Aw, man! We caught you red-handed, man!

Crow: How does Ranma know Akane's attacker tied her up *after*
raping her unless he was there to witness it?

Tom: Well the author spoiled the suspense anyway so who cares.

>"Akane will tell you it wasn't me."
>"Akane's in a coma."
>Ryoga was horrified. "What?!"

All: HE SAID AKANE'S IN A COMA!

>"Nice try," Ranma remarked. "But it won't work."
>"Ryoga!"
>Ryoga and Ranma looked up.

Tom: You say something, God?

>"Shampoo?"
>Shampoo had something in her hand.

Tom: Blood vessels?

Crow: Bone Marrow?

Joel: Varicose veins?

>"You hurt Akane."
>"I did not!" Ryoga insisted.
>"Women are toys to you."
>This was getting out of hand.
>"I nevr touched Akane!" Ryoga screamed. "Ranma let me up! Don't
>pour...."

All: <singing> It never rains when it pours....

>A woman's voice finished: "...that on me! Eeeeeeeeeek!!!"

Joel: The cat?

>Ranma released his grip on Onna-Ryoga and stood up.
>"You spend a year as a woman." Shampoo told Onna-Ryoga.

Crow: Rape a girl, become a woman, it's the amazon law.

Tom: Shampoo, Repent, Repeat. Shampoo Repent, Repeat....

>"Change me back this instant!" Onna-Ryoga fumed.
>"You know, you're cute as a girl." Ranma pointed out, leaning
>forward as if to kiss her.

Crow: <Ranma> You know, Ryouga, you're beautiful when you're
angry....

>"CUT THAT OUT!" Onna-Ryoga screamed
>*SPLASH!*
>"Hey!" Onna-Ranma yelped.
>"No rape Onna-Ryoga." Shampoo scolded.
>"I wasn't gonna rape her!" Ranma sighed. "I was just going to kiss
>her."

Crow: <Ranma> Ryouga's done a evil thing, but gosh darn it, she's so cute
as a woman I just can't help myself....

>"Promise?" Shampoo asked.
>"Promise." Ranma noddd.
>*SPLASH*
>Ranma leaned forward and closed his eyes, inching closer to
>Onna-Ryoga. His lips touched something soft and furry. Furry? He
>opened his eyes and found himself face to face with Shampoo's cat
>form.

>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH!"

Joel: Ranma must have been scared, There's 51 A's in his scream.

>Onna-Ryoga snickered, amusedly, to herself as Ranma ran past her, arms
>flailing.

Tom: (singing) He can fly, He can fly, He can fly....

>"I'll get you, Ryoga!" Ranma cried, running back out of the house,
>chasing after Onna-Ryoga while reading off some suggestions for some
>pork-based dinners.
>"Not funny, Ranma!" Onna-Ryoga called out.
>"... shish-kebab, spare-ribs ...."
>"RAMEN!!!"

Crow: Ramen, you get back here this INSTANT!

Tom: There's a pun I'm glad I didn't think of....

>They both stopped in their tracks.

Joel: Oh, they must have fallen off their train of thought.

>Genma was in the doorway of the Tendo Training Hall. "Come and
>eat before it gets cold. You can play later."

Tom: Yeah, Genma's coming out to tell Ranma dinner's ready instead
of chowing down on their portions. Totally IC for Genma.

Crow: By the way, wasn't there *quite a few people* in the training
hall? Who were they? Why aren't they chasing Ryouga as well?
If Genma didn't know about it and Soun's not wailing like a madman,
who did? How could Genma not know Akane's in a coma, where is
Ranma keeping Akane?

Tom: These and many other questions to be answered on the next
thrilling episode of "Ranma 1/2: Untitled"... or not.

Crow: You mean Ranma 1/2: Accused?

Tom: Whatever.

>***

Tom: Oh look, three snowflakes. Summer's just around the corner.

Crow: Yay!

Joel: Let me catch them on my tongue!

>Onna-Ryoga climbed out of bed. "I'll find who really attacked Akane."
>She vowed.

Bots: <hum the theme to Glory>

Joel: <Ryouga> Not only that! I'll find out who all those mysterious
people were doing in the training hall!

>"Then Shampoo will turn me back to my true form and
>Ranma will be forced to publically apologize to me."

>She packed a few things, then slipped off quietly into the night...

Crow: To seek the one armed man, no doubt.

>(to be continued in chapter 2: "Onna-Ryoga".)

Tom: Wow, that was short.

>p.s. Ryoga seems callous in the last scene but that is because right
>now he can't bear to think that Akane's been hurt. He can't deal with
>that, so he's focusing on his own honor as a means of coping with a
>situation he cannot handle.

Crow: Uh-huh.

Joel: Whatever.

Tom: Get me out of here, Joel....

* * *

SATELLITE OF LOVE

"So what do we do now? Stand around until Dr. F tells
us it's time to go back into the theater?"

"Actually I was thinking we could take the time to answer
some of our fan mail and acknowledge some of the people who were
nice enough to give us feedback. Bring out the box...."

Crow did so and Joel took a few out of the box and began to
read them out loud.

"To protect the privacy of the people who wrote in, we've left
off the last name and e-mail address of the senders. Don't worry, they're
all genuine." Tom pointed out.

"Our first letter comes to us from John and he writes...."

*Hi.

I really loved this. Very sick and twisted.... I can't help but
laugh at the line "PUT... THE HERMAPHRODITE... DOWN". I get this
'What's Michael?'-like vision of a 50-story tall Artemis, waving around
Oscar in his huged paw. :)*

Keep up the (truely hilarious) work!*

"And thank you for your C&C, John! We really appreciate it!"
Tom replied.

"Let's see... We've got a letter from LeVar which reads....

*And once again I break my sacrosanct rule and reply to an author.
Permit me to say:

BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO!

Gods, but I needed a good laugh, and your MSTings provided it. I
only wish I had the guts to riff a lemon like that. As it is, I'm currently
halfway through MSTing a literary train wreck called Dimension 6.
And here I thought I was the first to think of doing this to a Sailor
Moon fanfic.*

"Dimension 6, huh? Send us a copy when it's finished!" Crow
requested.

"Heck, send it to the FFML too! I'm sure they wouldn't mind
checking it out!" Tom added.

"Here's a letter from Brendan which reads....

*Those fanfics are simply disturbed. It's great to see someone finally
twisted them into something good! I always "tought" that the best
people in the world enjoy both SM and MST3K!*

"Thanks Brendan! It's nice to be appreciated." Tom said.

"To be fair though... In *Games* we tried to point out a few
things the author could do to improve the fic among the riffs. And
*Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla* wasn't really that bad of a fic, it had a
descent enough plot, not much worse than the plots of any of the
Godzilla movies really...." Crow pointed out.

"Here's another one from Mike...."

"Mike... why does that name sound so familiar...." Crow
mumbled to himself.

*Just great! You actually capture the MST guys (or bots) pretty
damn well. Tom's a bit less perverse than he is on the show, but
otherwise excellent. BTW, on the last one you did - that Bitter End
parody was excellent.*

"That's funny. I always thought Crow was a little *more*
perverse in this series than the TV show...." Tom remarked.

"Hey! Who are you calling perverse, Tom!" Crow retorted.

"Knock it off, guys...." Joel admonished as he continued to read
the letter. "Here's some feedback from him on Sailor Jupiter Vs.
Godzilla...."

*Heh, neato Duke Nuke'em intro (though I prefer Quake myself).
Somehow, I can actually picture a flying, shotgun-wielding Tom Servo.
Not as funny as the first two, though, mainly since the fic itself wasn't
as bad. Liked the Catkiller vs. FFML comment, though... <grin>*

"If there's ever an opportunity to make references to classic
moments from the FFML, we'll be sure to put them in!" Crow proclaimed.

*I just gotta ask something - you make these things up from
scratch, right? As in, you write the stories you MST yourself (obviously
making them purposefully bad), and the heckle them mercilessly, right? I
hope so. <shudder> Because Artemis's Lover was an otherwise rather sad,
no, sick, fic...

Well, anyway, these thing are great! Love 'em...

Later!
-Mike*

"What?!? He thinks we just make this stuff up?" Crow said,
shocked.

"Don't get all riled up Crow. Let's just make it clear to all the
readers who weren't sure that all the fanfics that we've riffed, were all
genuine and written by other authors.

Although Flashman is the only one to have given us his story,
'Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla', to be MSTed at this time, all of them have
been posted on various fanfiction sites for some time now. The Ranma
1/2 short we just did was posted on the FFML a couple of weeks ago....

"And of all the feedback we've gotten for them, we've never
received one piece of negative mail yet." Tom added cheerfully.

"Uh... well... actually that's not true anymore. We finally got
one negative response yesterday. It's from Oscar, the creator of Artemis's
Lover...." Joel said.

"Really?" Crow and Tom answered at the same time.

"Yep, here it is... Oh by the way, those of you who are offended
by course language may wish to skip the following paragraph....

(Note: This e-mail was followed the next day with a request to MST more
of his works so I'm presuming Oscar had no problem with this MSTing
after all. I just included it for the humor value.)

*NOW LISTEN TO ME YOU LITTLE S.O.B.!!!! STOP
COPYING MY FANFICS!!! YOU ALREADY COPYED "GAMES" BY
ARTEMIS, BUT COPYING MY H-FANFIC "ARTEMIS'S LOVER"
THAT'S IT!!!*

Tom: Hey, we never copied your fanfics. We just gave you a different
kind of C&C....

*INVENT YOUR OWN FUCKING FANFICS DAMMIT!!
"AND WHAT DID EXCACTLY DID YOU CHANGED IN YOUR
CHEAP COPY HUH?!"*

Crow: Heh. Not a thing. That's what makes it so funny.

*PEOPLE LIKE YOU SHOULD DIE, AND ROT IN HELL!!! DON'T
EVEN TRY TO COPY MY OTHER H-FANFICS OR ELSE...!!!*

Joel: Hey, that's up to Dr. Forrester, but we can always hope, right?

*SOME ONE TOLD ME ABOUT YOU! SOME IDIOT NAMED
BILL SMITH....*

Crow: And this is how you thank him? By calling him a idiot?

Tom: Hey, Bill! If you're reading this, Oscar called you an idiot! What
do you think about that?

*MAN JUST KEEP YOUR STINKING BIG NOSE OUTTA MY
BUSINESS OK!?*

Tom: Noses? NOSES? We don't need no STINKING big noses!

*UNTIL THEN, THIS IS OSCAR "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (THE
ORIGINAL) SIGNING OF....*

Crow: Oscar, the *original* hermaphrodite of fanfiction.

Tom: Seldom imitated, never duplicated.

Joel: Notice how much better Oscar writes when he's angry?

*P.S. WHEN I HAVE A GUN AND KNOW WHERE YOU
LIVE...I'LL STRIKE, MWAH HA HA!!!*

"I think his cap lock is stuck...." Joel noted.

"Hey, he threatened us! He can't do that!" Crow protested.

"Revenge! We must have Revenge!" Tom chanted.

"BRING ON THE CHICKEN CANNON!" Crow screamed.

"Now guys...." Joel admonished. "Two wrongs don't make a
right... if Oscar doesn't want us to parody any more of his fics, we
should respect his wishes."

"Joel... If we hadn't MSTed his fanfic in the first place, would
it have received as much attention as it did?" Tom inquired.

"Well, you have a point there... " Joel admitted. "But still...."

"If Oscar can't take a joke, then that's his tough luck!" Crow
said.

"Okay, let's put it this way guys...." Joel interrupted. "Do
you WANT to read another fanfic by Oscar?"

"HELL NO!" Both robots chorused.

"Then let's just drop it and move on." Joel said.

Tom sighed. "Okay, Joel...."

Suddenly alarms and sirens rang out.

"OHH WE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!" Joel cried.

(Door 6: It's made of paper and rips easily.)

(Door 5: It's a sliding glass door that opens to reveal a naked woman who
slaps you and runs off.)

(Door 4: It falls towards you, missing your foot by millimeters.)

(Door 3: It folds downwards into a neat little pile.)

(Door 2: It's steel and splits in two, each half falls in opposite directions .)

(Door 1: It swirls open from the center.)

(Door .7: The camera pans downward where a small hatch pops open.)

"I still wanted to use the Chicken Cannon...." Crow muttered
under his breath.

>This takes place bewteen a week after the Nega-Moon Sister are
>healed and a week before the Scoutnapping of the others.

Tom: I guess the scouts weren't prepared.

>Sailor Moon : Judge Brainitite

Joel: Isn't he the arch-enemy of Green Lantern?

>A very sleeping persons open her eye.

Joel: Who is the author talking about? I'm already confused.

Crow: Eww! She's a cyclops!

Tom: <yawns> I'm feeling mighty *sleeping* myself already.

Joel: What does she spy with her little eye?

>She was not in her bedroom. All fours walls were cover with
>dark-yellowish plants. In the room was a monster about 6 feet, with
>golden hair.

Joel: Golddust?

Crow: Fabio?

Tom: Sally Struthers?

Crow: She's not 6 feet, is she?

Joel: Not when it comes to *height*.

>Her skirt was yellow. Her blouse was a yellow also. She was pale
>white in her face.

Crow: Oh, she's pretending to be a freshly peeled banana.

Joel: Either that or she's a color-blind mime.

Joel: I'll bet she's feeling pretty mellow right now.

>Her hair was done up like a Greek Goddness of
>Love, Venus.

Joel: <Mina> Hey, don't be a copycat!

>"I'm Lungitie, server of Judge Brainitite.

All: GAH!

Joel: Don't sneak up on us like that!

Crow: And I'm waiter, server of food and drink.

>You are going to be senteced to death! Serena..or should I said Sailor
>Moon!"

Crow: How about Usagi?

>"Why?" asked Usagi

Joel: How'd you do that, Crow?

Tom: How about... Sugarthighs?

Joel: Nice try, Tom.

>"Why?" mockly replied Lungitite, "It simple! I did want you
>to know about any memories of the past or of the future! I put
>you and her follow Scouts out!" It was follow by a wickly evil
>laugh!

Crow: Wha....?

Joel: Lungitite must have been Grimlock in a previous life.

Tom: So if I understand the plot so far... Lungitite wants Usagi to know
about the past and the future and he put her... his... someone's scouts
out and they were followed by a bodiless, wickly evil laugh.

Crow: Sounds about right.

>Something was trigger by this remarked. I rember Raye was
>calling about a yellow hair girl blowing down a couple of
>buildings.

Tom: She huffed and she puffed....

Joel: <singing> Blow the block down, matey, blow the block down....

>Raye and Lita was snorzing at the site as Mina, Amy
>and me get that site.

Joel: What site?

Tom: Web site? Out of site?

Crow: I wish this fanfic was out of site....

Tom: And what the hell's *snorzing* anyway?

Joel: Sounds like something you feed the dog with.

Crow: Here spike! Here boy! Come get your snorzings!

>I draged out the Moon Secptor to drestory.
>But get it with something!

Crow: I wonder where she got the scepter from....

Joel: Crow....

Crow: What? Haven't you always wondered?

Tom: She gets it from the same place Clark Kent puts his clothes when
he changes into Superman.

>"Moon Secptor Elimation!"

Crow: <imitates sound of flushing>

Tom: There. It's eliminated.

Joel: When did this fic turn into a first person perspective?

>Nothing happens

Joel: Oh no, it's overflowing!!!

>"Uh..Oh?"

All: UH.. HUH.

>Lungitite thunders "I found a way of prevent you from using
>your powers. You might this", she holds up a yellow frame mirror.

Crow: She might what?

>It was dotted by green crystral at each color. The center was a
>clear as a dimanod. Her Fuku was a black sailor Fuku. All of it. Her
>taira was also black.

Crow: <Frank Oz> One pair black suit jacket... One pair black suit
pants....

Tom: <Frank Oz> One hat... black.

>The brows were grayish color. Her face look as she was just in
>all-out bad battle with four Gernels of Queen Beryl plus the Queen
>herself. He hair was un-done.

Tom: This fic is un-done if you ask me.

Joel: Come on, give it a chance....

>"How?"

>"For us to know! For you to never found out!" yelled the
>monster. She becked for a server. He look like her execpt that
>he has blue jeans, red shirt, a green jacket. Also his haircut
>was like that of Darrien expect for the hair was brown. Darrien
>was black.

Crow: I'll say one thing for this fanfic, the author went to a lot of trouble
to establish the colors.

Tom: Maybe Rainbow Brite penned this fic?

Joel: <singing> Color my world....

>"I'm Liveritite, Lungitite, want do you want me to do?"

Tom: Consider a name change!

Crow: Lungitite, Liveritite... Who's next, Lickitite?

Tom: How about: Itistite, Yuartite, or Thisficbites?

>"Chain her up!"

Crow: Alice?

>Liveritite dragged her into the next room. Look like the
>Lungitite's room expect that it was painted in the color of
>green.

Tom: They'll have to wait in the green room until they're called on.

Joel: At least *this* green room is actually green....

>"If you don't follow by order! You will get a blast of very
>power lighting, more power them Prisma's and Queen Beryl's
>combine!"

Crow: What's he gonna use? A spotlight?

Tom: Very Power Lighting. Official suppliers of natural light for the
Pet Shop Boys. Our motto: We won't leave you in the dark.

Joel: Come towards the light, Serena, Usagi, whatever your name is!

>Sarced stiff, Serema did as she was order. First, he order
>her to put her legs together. He put a heavy chair on her ankles.
>Next, he told her to lie on her side.

Crow: How does she do that?

Joel: Do what?

Crow: How does she move while staying stiff?

Tom: Her acting skills or lack thereof?

>She was clip with another heavy chain on her hips. He ask for her to
>put out her arms. Then he chain her wrist with a third heavy chain.
>Finally he put a long chain, tying them around her legs, arms, body,
>and neck.

Crow: This is starting to sound like a bondage fic.

Tom: Yes, it's 'Senshi in Chains Part 6: Metal and Brace'....

>He summons a third monster, it look like a smaller then Nephritite.

>"Bloodite, prision them with the others

Tom: Lungitie, Liveritite, Bloodite, Brainitite, what is this, an organ
donors convention?!?

>until the Judge Brainitite is ready to make this case against them. A
>spirit might been help them out...not of the Moon of course!"

>"This is bad!"

Crow: You're telling us?!?

Joel: It's rare to see the author commenting on his own fic....

>She was tosted in the others. All of the of Sailor Scouts,
>Amy, Raye, Lita, and Mina, had they Sailor Uniforms turn inside
>out, the faces of them boodly as herself. Lita and Mina hair un-
>done. Lita's taira was off.

>"Us...ag...i..? You...are..here?" speaks Raye

Tom: I'm... sorry... Raye... but... I... can... not... answer... you....

Crow: Nice impression of HAL, Tom!

Tom: Actually, that was William Shatner, but thanks anyway!

>"What happens to her?" asked Serena

Crow: <Serena> Will the author please make up his mind!
Are you going to call me Serena or Usagi?

Tom: How about... Caramel Cheeks?

Crow: Heh.

>"Liveritite's lighting!", remarks Amy

>"What about the color black on our Sailor Fuku?" asked Serena.

>Amy answers that one.

Tom: <Amy> Shut up!

>"Lungitite told me. Long time also, she dress up as Sailor Venus. He
>found and stolen an disc from us. He stolen the Scouts' disc.

Crow: He needs the disc to prevent the scouts from calling Allen1.

Joel: And he plans to deliver it to the MCP, no doubt.

>Usually in past, it was worked by me. He found that if the Scouts
>uniforms were take off and turn inside out all of the part of uniform
>turn black..including taira, which halts power to us."

Tom: Uh... what powers did they have to begin with? I thought only
their weapons had powers.

Joel: <singing> That's the power of love....

Crow: <singing> Go go power senshi....

Tom: Don't make me hurt you, Crow.

>"Lita, why is you taira off?" questioned Serena

Tom: <Lita> It pinches the skin!

>"Liveritite knows that I contain the Thunder of Jutiper!",
>remarks Lita.

All: <singing> Tiptoe... through the Jutips....

>"When are were going to meet Brainitite?"

Crow: All too soon I suspect....

>"In two-Nega days, according to Blooditite!

Tom: How long is a Nega-day?

Crow: I'm positive I haven't the slightest idea.

>He are guard for us. Either he might think we are stronger then this,
>or he is going to carry to the judge area." Amy replaced.

Joel: No one can replace Amy. Except maybe Ami.

>"What about Luna and Artimis? Can the help?" asked Serena.

Joel: Can the help?

Tom: Why would they can the help? They need all the help they can
get for crying out loud!

>"Luna and Artimis were thinking about the future.

Crow: <Artemis> Hey Luna, do you think we should start
screening the fanfics that we get on our Central Command site?

Tom: <Luna> Nah, what's the harm? It's not like someone's
going to find a bunch of fics there and start making fun of people....

>When I call you, meat-ball brain!" thunders Raye.

Crow: Raye's a real drop of golden sun, isn't she?

>She look at the room. On the wall was magnets to keep them
>standing up. The floor and ceiling were normal dugoen floors.

Joel: There's nothing normal about dugoen ceiling floors.

Crow: Yeah, watch out for trap windows.

Tom: And snakes!

>"We are doomed!" thunder Serena.

Crow: They wouldn't last ten seconds in a deathmatch....

>********************************************************

Tom: Today's forecast calls for light flurries and scattered winds with a
high of +2. Unfortunately this means the fanfic will remain open during
school hours....

>In a dark room. Two of server of Brianitite are wating for him.

Crow: What's this, Brainitite's on the net now?

Joel: Check out Brainitite's homepage at http://thi.sfic.sux/~judge/dr.T/

Tom: With tons of frames and advertisements! Netscape and Explorer
not supported.

>Brainitite is wearing a white mask and robes. His hands are gloved.

Joel: All he needs now is pictures of brains all over his robe....

Crow: AHHHHH... MANOS HAS RETURNED!!!

Tom: DEAR GOD, NO!!!!!

Joel: <hums Torgo's Theme>

Tom and Crow: JOEL!!!

>"Judge Braintite, Blooditie is guarding the person!",
>Lungitite. Liveritite has Jutiper's Taira!"

>"Good work! If this plan success, Lord Malita will appear
>again! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

Tom: Oh perfect. We finally get to the centerpiece of the story and he
turns out to be about as interesting as the rest of the cast.

Crow: Meaning he's unintelligible, corny and has an obsession with
color?

Tom: Exactly.

Joel: I wonder if he's got big knees....

Crow: <shudders> That's not funny, Joel!

>********************************************************

Tom: Here is the forecast for tomorrow, more light flurries with a 30%
chance of rain, high of -1. The fanfic will not, repeat, not be called on
account of weather so those of you who bought tickets will still not
receive a refund....

>Meanwhile, Serena and her friends, found out that they can
>not sleep in this area.

Crow: Sleep no more! The senshi shall sleep no more!

Tom: Have they tried counting sheep?

Joel: How about grammar mistakes? They're plenty of them.

Tom: They want to sleep, Joel, not lapse into a coma.

>"Sailor Sapings, trying to sleep! Forget it! That ray give
>your guys enough sleep to stay awake for 1 week. Ha Ha Ha!"

Tom: Soooo... then they shouldn't need sleep, right?

Crow: <Yawns> I could use a ray like that about now.

Joel: Who's talking? I lost track of the speaker.

Crow: You lost track? You mean up till now you knew who was
saying what?!?

Joel: Well, yeah... sort of....

>After Blooditite found them taking about Powers of
>Lungitite, Liveritite, himself, and who might be helping them.

All: <singing> HELP! We need somebody! HELP! Not just anybody....

>*******************************************************

Tom: We interrupt this fanfic once more to bring you an emergency
warning. Despite the sudden onslaught of hailstones, the numerous
hurricane and tornado watches and the possibility of the world coming
to an end, this fanfic WILL proceed to it's conclusion.

Crow: How about Armageddon? Will that stop this fic?

>With a lot of hours, the hear a creek of the door. It was
>Blooditie having key in hand. He look at them.

Joel: I am the Key Master!

Tom: But where's the Gate Keeper?

Crow: Well if the senshi weren't up the creek before....

>With a evil voice, "It time to been judged!"

Joel: You know, guys, I'm *dreading* this next scene....

Tom: <groans> I knew he was going to say that....

>First, he conjude up 4 warriors, each of warriors pick up on
>of the Scouts. Then he pick up Sailor Moon.

Crow: <Blooditie> Wanna go to dinner and catch a movie after the
fic is over?

>"Here were are!"

>The room was sliver all-over with some red blood spots here
and there.

Crow: <Blooditie> Sorry about the mess. One of our hobbies is smashing
ketchup packets from Burger World....

>A warrior loops a chain around each Scouts and her chair. It
>thens loop the five chairs arround a center post in the back of
>room.

Joel: It's Reverse Musical Chairs! Last one to break out loses.

Tom: Are the chairs silver as well?

>A group of Nega-Versers appears.

>"Hee Ya, Follow Monsterous of the Nega-Verse. Raise for the
>honour of Judge Brainitite!"

Crow: That sounds extremely perverted if you really think about it.

Joel: SHOW US YOUR KNEES! SHOW US YOUR KNEES!

Tom: ENOUGH with the Manos jokes already, Joel!

>The monsters stand up

Joel: <Bull Shannon> Criminal Court Part 2 in now in session. The
honorable, but incomprehensible, Judge Bubba Bo Bob Brainitite
residing!

>"Judge Brainitite, you may wait to set down again."

Crow: Give me a few seconds to make sure the tacks on your chair are
facing up... there we go.

>The monsters sit back down.

>"Sailor Moon, your and your team have been beat up on youma
>and cardiens with out a reason.

Joel: <Serena> Hey! I had plenty of reason! It was the only way to
make that cute Tuxedo Mask show up!

>"That I..." started Serena

>"SLIENCE!" - thunders Judge Brainite. "I bring a some dead
>gernal

Tom: I didn't know the Judge was Italian....

>and others to take my side. I going to short they names,
>first Gernal, Jade appears!

Joel: They must be getting desperate. They're bringing in characters
from Mortal Kombat 3.

Crow: I wish someone would perform a fatality on Brainite.

Tom: FINISH THEM! FINISH THEM ALL!!!

Crow: FINISH THIS FANFIC!!!

Joel: <chuckles> Okay, guys....

>Jeditie appears.

>"Jeditie, what happens at the airport?"

Tom: Planes take off and land?

Crow: Your flight is delayed?

Joel: Luggage is lost forever?

>"The Scouts had Sailor Moon beening crash by a air-plane.
>Then, I look to found that I lone in the airport with two planes
>Next, I fogged stopped. In front of me was Sailor Moon, Sailor
>Mercury, and Sailor Mars. Mars used on of her charms on me.

Tom: Yep, Sailor Mars really charmed the pants off me....

Crow: Hee hee hee!

>Sailor Moon throw her taira at me. I knock me into a airport. I
>was lucky to have another energy in me..

Tom: Milk!

Joel: It does a body good!

Crow: And how!

>to return to the Nega-Verse, but old Queen Beryl trap me in a
>crystral. Oh, by the way, thinks for the break of my Entreal Sleep!

Tom: I would rather have eternal sleep than be in this fic.

>Jeditite disappear

>"Zoy" thunders Brainitite

>Zoyicite appears

>"You ring?"

Crow: <Zoyicite> Come on! What is it? Don't leave me in the lurch....

Tom: <singing> I'm not your Zoy Toy....

>"Zoy, tell me want happen at the Starlight Tower!"

>"Starlight Tower?

Tom: Starlight, Starbright, First star I see tonight... Please let this
fanfic end soon!

>We have success gotten the seven rainbow crystals. He fought I
>success in getting ready of Tudexo Mask, Sailor Moon's saver.

Crow: Screen?

Joel: Life?

Tom: Penny?

>He throw a ice staff at them. When she that Tudexo Mask was hurt,
>she begin crying. It began with the floating crystral merge together to
>found a crystral. It was a Sliver Empire Crystral.

Joel: Yeah, I didn't even know I had it until it got stuck in my finger.

>It then float to the wand of Moon, which heals the great shadow
>warriors.

Tom: Lo Wang?

Crow: <Lo Wang> Would rather kick ass than read fanfic!

>Then zombishly, she touch it.

Tom: How does one touch something zombishly?

Crow: Talk about dead hand walking....

Joel: <singing> Zom... bie... Zom... bie....

Crow: If this fanfic isn't already dead, it won't be long.

>Her Scout uniform was torn, but under that was the dress of Princess
>Serienty. After a short memory, I was shot with, I qoute, "Comic Moon
>Power!". The Prince faints back into Sailor Moon.

Joel: Darien's such a wuss.

Crow: Tell me about it.

>Malachite appear and stolen Tudexo Mask away. I was blasted
>by Queen Beryl and death with my love, Malachite.

>Zoyicite moves other, "Judge, can I call upon my love?"

>"Good right ahead!"

>"OK! Mala! Summoned!"

Crow: Crow! Bewildered!

>Malachite appears

>"Brainitite! I ready to told who I dye!"

Joel: What color?

Crow: YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DYE....

Tom: Nice one, Crow!

>"Good right head!"

Joel: His left head didn't know what his right was doing.

Crow: I guess in this case two heads aren't better than one....

Tom: Insert your favorite oral sex joke here....

>"I was hurting the two cats that are the guardians of Sailor
>Scouts. When suddenly. I see them again. If it was a hour since I
>saw them last. I make energy knifes.

Crow: <Malachite> I used to hang out with Kano.

>I hurt the five scouts. They combine the power with that of Sailor
>Moon. She saids some about being Sailor Moon, the Moon Princess
>and my worst nightmare.

Joel: You want to know what my worst nightmare is?

Crow: Being in this fanfic?

Joel: Nope. Losing my hair.

>She uses her stick to bound back by attack to me. With a yell to Zoy,
>over there. I dyed!"

Tom: ...my roots?

Crow: <Guinan> He's not supposed to be here....

Joel: <Guinan> It was an empty bleach... a bleach without purpose....

>Zoyicite and Malachite disseapars.

Tom: Disseapars? What the hell's that?

Joel: Let's just pretend that spelling mistake never existed.

> "That is allway. If you want to use a reply. Been my
> quess! It will not help your."

Crow: Your what?

Joel: The quess for the holy mail....

>"Serena will be help on Nephritite's word!"

Tom: They'll have to take his word for it....

Crow: Nephritite's word?!? They all need help as far as I'm concerned!

>Nephrite appears

>"Tell J.B. over there, who you were killed!"

Tom: Who shot J.B.?

Crow: I shot J.B.! With my little bow and arrow....

Joel: The judge oughta be hung....

>"OK! I just save a human from Zoitcite's hit squard!"

>"What? That impossible? Countite? This is hooking me?"

Tom: Countite?

Crow: <The Count> One! One bad fanfic! Ah! Ah! Ah!

>"We run into the park. Molly removes a piece of her night
>gown on my worm.

Crow: So that's what people call it nowadays.

>One of Zoicite demon appears to threw a deep weapon in my arm.

Tom: Thus disarming him. Thank you!

>It was torn to piece so I not know what kind. Molly removed the
>weapon. Then Sailor Moon and her friends used their powers to get
>rid of Zoidicite monsters. I died tell the Sailor Moon secret is saved."

Joel: <Nephrite> But now that I've been dead for a while, I've come to
the conclusion that I was gypped.

>"Is Molly, the girl?"

Crow: No, he's my parrot. To this day, I can't help wondering how he
managed to pull the weapon out of my arm when it was clear he was
an ex-parrot....

>"Yes!"

>Nephrite disseapers

>"Al from the Doom Tree."

>Ann and Al appears.

Joel: The judge asked for Al! Go home Ann!

Tom: Isn't it supposed to be Allen?

Crow: I guess the author decided to shorten it.

Tom: Why couldn't he shorten the fanfic while he was at it!

>Brainite said "Al and Ann"

>"Expect how your love?

>"Simple.

Tom: It is?

Crow: Could've fooled me....

>Ann was after Darrien, soul mate to Serena, why I try to get her.

Tom: <Al> ...I'll never know.

>After a why, the Scouts connect us to the what the medina called a
>strange memtoritite.

Joel: Well, that's certainly strange all right....

Crow: No, wait! It's another name for one of the villains!

>Ann have blasted the Moon Light Knight, into the Tree. Serena told
>her to it to stop. We both learn the orign of the Doom Tree. I thought
>that I fail to get the correct energy.

Joel: I guess he hasn't been eating from the four major food groups.

>Sailor Moon used her secptor to drestory the tree. Ann was reviled
>and we leave." said Al

>Ann added "..and that the end of that story!"

Crow: YES! Let's get out of here!

Joel: Not THIS story Crow, the flashback.

Crow: Damn....

>"Judge Brainite! You win, Sailor Moon, Liveritite undo the
>chains."

Crow: That's it? The judge believes them and lets them go just like
that?

Tom: Wow, he really was honorable!

Joel: A villain that keeps his word, who'd thunk it?

Crow: Where the heck did this judge come from anyway?!?

>Mutturs of acient words appears and the Scouts chain have
>disseappers and Lita's taira is back on.

>"Judge Brainite, order you to take his back, it will help
>her to back to normal,

Tom: The judge wants the senshi to remove his backbone? What is this,
Gunnm, all of a sudden?

Crow: <Serena> Uh, sorry, your honor, you can't expect us to carry you
forever....

>just look for a computer."

Tom: What kind of computers do you think the Negaverse use?

Crow: Texas Instruments? How the hell should I know?

>Serena and her friends appear in a room full of computers.

>"Why are where?" ask Serena

Joel: How is here.

Crow: When is now.

Tom: Confusion reigns supreme.

>"My computer school!" repley Amy, setting down and loading
>the disc.

>"The disc saids to talk off all parts of the Scouts uniforms
>turn them inside out and place them back on. Taira should be
>last to be put back on. The Scouts did at they were order to do.

Crow: Now that I think about it, that's pretty much what they've
been doing this entire story....

Tom: Would you have rather seen the senshi use the same cliché
attacks against the Negaverse monster of the week?

Crow: Good point.

Joel: It's original, I'll say that much....

>Amy guess that the jantior was do with this floor and his sleeping in
>his office. So, no one will she them beging naked.

Tom: Sounds like a setup for the 'Usagi's Usual Morning' series....

Crow: <Janitor> Dum de dum dum... Another day, another waste basket
to emp... AY CARAMBA!

Tom: <Janitor> You girls ever see 'Sexy Moon', by chance?

>The Scouts uniform let of a flash of color.

All: <singing> Give... me my colored skirt! My amazing colored skirt!

>All was back to the why. The Scouts put on the skirts, blouse, boots,
>gloves and finailly the taira. The Suits disseaper and they were dress
>back into street clothes.

Crow: Hey! They're not wearing panties!

Joel: Crow....

Crow: Well, they're not!

>"Lets' go home. As a English band one said "It been a Hard
>Days Knight!". saids Serena

Tom: And this fanfic is a dog.

Crow: As a animated critic once said: "It stinks!"

Joel: Come on, guys, it has potential. It's very creative and unique but
the grammar was so bad that it totally destroyed it.

Crow: You're too kind... literally.

Joel: My opinion....

>"Amen to that!" remarks Serena

>THE END

Crow: FINALLY!

Tom: Oh man! I feel like I just sat through a showing of The Breakfast
Club. Only without the funny dance sequence at the end.

Joel: The dance sequence was funny?

Tom: Okay, I was just being kind. The whole thing sucked!

Crow: I'll drink to that!

Joel: You're not drinking.

Crow: After this fic, I'm giving it *serious* consideration.

Tom: Well, while your considering it, let's get out of here already!
I'm need to catch at least 60 winks of sleep now....

* * *

DEEP 13

As the bots and Joel left the theater, Dr. Forrester was finishing
attaching a modified head to Frank. After a minor adjustment, Frank
suddenly woke up.

"It's alive...." Dr. Forrester exclaimed without a trace of
enthusiasm. "Are you all right now, Frank?"

"Just great!" Frank replied with a smile. "Good as new!
Thanks for fixing me Dr. F!"

"I trust you won't be having any more malfunctions, then?"
Dr. Forrester asked.

"Nope!"

"Good. Then would you mind pushing the button so I can go
to bed and get some sleep!"

"Sure thing, Dr. F!" Frank replied as he walked over to the
button and without hesitation, smashed his forehead against it.

"Oh, poopy...."

THE REAL END.

(Feel free to hum the closing theme as you read my author's notes.)

Thus ends my fourth MSTing, I never thought this would turn into a
series!

I'd like to once again give very special thanks to Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong,
whom, without his help and C&C, I wouldn't have been able to finish
this MSTing. He took time out to help me and I can't thank him enough.

I'd also like to thank Timothy McLees, Luna and Artemis, Chris
Bergstrom and Jay Dee Archer (Jupiter Knight) for being nice enough
to post my MSTings on their webpages. If there's anyone else I
missed, I apologize.

Finally I'd like to thank Karmin for writing "Ranma 1/2: Accused" and Dr.
Thinker for writing "Judge Brainitite" and giving me their consent to MST
their works as well as a lot of material to work with. I hope you're not too
offended. If either of you were, feel free to MST my own works, I won't
mind a bit.

C&C, as always, is appreciated. (fcasper@yesic.com) Feel free to
send in any anime fanfic that you would like to see MSTed and I'll take
a look at it. Also, if you're interested in seeing any previous episodes
of this series, I'll be happy to e-mail them to you. ;)

Sincerely,

Megane 6.7

A MSTing for all Seasons
http://www.nabiki.com/mst
A full archive of all Mystery Science Theater 6.7 episodes, Megane 6.7
fanfiction, and collaborations!

Shizen's Versatile Home Page V3.0
http://svhp.webjump.com/ (Contains links to my MSTings and fanfics)
(Alternate site: http://www.tass.org/fanfic/MST3k/)

Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/

SEASON ONE
------------------

101- "GAMES" by Artemis (SM Lemon)
102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (Original Draft) by Oscar (SM Lemon)
103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA" by The Flashman
(SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER)
104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic)
w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin (R1/2 Fanfic)
105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic)
106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson (Nuku Nuku Fanfic)
107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton
(La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover)
108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic)
109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky
(SM/WWF Crossover)
w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon (SM/RL Crossover)
110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER
CHRISTMAS" by Dr. Thinker (SM Christmas Fanfic)

SEASON TWO
-------------------
201- "THAT GIRL" PT. 1-2 by Oscar (SM Lemon)
202- "VIRGIN WARRIOR SAILOR MOON" by Umino (SM Lemon)
203- "*R*P*M*" by Flynn (SM/SPAWN Crossover)
204- "RANKO'S LIFE" PT. 1-2 by Hitomi Ichinohei (R1/2 Fanfic)
205- "TRAPPED" by Mr_Jazz (SM Lemon)
206- "OSCAR TOON" PT. 1-4 by Oscar (SM/DBZ/WB Crossover)
207- "CALIFORNIA DREAMING" by Shakari
(Mutiple Crossover Lemon)
208- "A RANMA 1/2 FANFIC" PT. 1-2 by Sheep (R1/2 Fanfic)
209- "TRIANGLE TANGLE" by CATS (SM Lemon)
210- "URUSEI YATSURA: THE KIDNAPPING" by Shutaro Mendou
(UY Lemon)

SEASON THREE
----------------------
301- "A WET DREAM COME TRUE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Lemon)
302- "TORTURED ECHO" PT. 1-4 by Trakal (R1/2 Fanfic)
303- "RANMA KILLS!" PT. 1-2 by Sir Asayogure (R1/2 Fanfic)
304- "OKONOMIYAKI SUMMER" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic)
w/short "UNDER THE MISTLETOE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic)
305- "XMAS SPECIAL: A CHRISTMAS FIT FOR A POKEMON"
by Dr. Thinker (Pokemon Christmas Fanfic)
306- "9-BALL DREAMS" PT. 1-2 by Mr_Jazz (SM Crossover Lemon)
307- "WINTER" by Joseph Palmer (R1/2 Fanfic)
308- "UKYO GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES" PT. 1-2 by R_Vincent
(R1/2 Lemon)

SHORTY!
-------------
101- SUBLIMINALLY SEDUCE WOMEN INSTANTLY!
102- THE UGLIEST WOMEN ON THE NET!
103- PHEROMONES!
104- THE INTERNET SPY AND YOU!!

OTHER MSTINGS I'VE CONTRIBUTED TO
---------------------------------------------------------
"DIMISIONAL TROUBLE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic)
"MOONDUSTED" by Stephen Ratliff (SM/TNG Crossover)

Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/

"THE COUNTESS CHRONICLES" by Lin Lin (SM Dark Lemon)
"9 1/2 CHIPMUNKS" by Toon Dreams (Rescue Rangers Yaoi Lemon)

Lefty's MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/MSTings/index.htm

'MYSTERY WRESTLING THEATER 3000', POST 105: DOUBLE TROUBLE!
(Two interviews with the Ultimate Warrior and '3:16 Rulzs!' by Oracle)

Website Number 9 MSTings
http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml

"THE DAY OF EMERGENCE" by Jeffrey Lee
(Ranma 1/2/Eddings/SM Crossover)

"REDHEADS" by Robert Haynie
(Slayers/Ranma 1/2 Crossover)

Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page
http://www.akane.org/gary/comics.html

OTHER GREAT WEBPAGES WORTH VISITING

Zoogz's Fanfiction and Fandom Page
http://www.nav.to/Zoogz

The Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong
http://www.anime.sobhrach.com\~jeffwong\index.html

'Suicide Blast' by: Keener
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/3342/Suicide.html
Additional links for Keener's stuff
-- http://tmffa.com/
-- http://www.redrival.com/myrriden/index.html

Flashman's Flash Point
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/3105/

JOLT!!!
http://members.home.net/jolt.caffiene/welcome.htm

Website Number 9 MSTings
http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml

Lord Carnage's Cursed Fanboys Page!
http://carnage.fanfic.org

A Sailor Moon Romance
http://moonromance.simplenet.com/

Zen's Fanfiction Page
http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html

Webdragon's Lair
http://members.tripod.com/~WebDragon/

Sean Gaffney's Webpage
http://www.thekeep.org/~sean/index.html

"Hee Ya, Follow Monsterous of the Nega-Verse. Raise for the
honour of Judge Brainitite!"

Keep Circulating the Fanfics....

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