*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS* (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain) (The future isn't what it used to be...) "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON FIVE) EPISODE 50: 12 MONTHS AND A YEAR PT. 2 (A Street Fighter MSTing) MSTed From the Desks of Megane 6.7 and Zoogz (megane67@rogers.com) (zoogz@yahoo.com) This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering our collective asses here folks... "Street Fighter" is the property of Capcom and all the distributors of their work. "12 Months and a Year" is the property of sske. We attempted to contact the author by e-mail but there was no reply and we sincerely hope they don't take offence to this MSTing of their work. It's all meant in good fun. ;p Warning: This fanfic contains mature content, adult language and scenes of extreme violence. * * * (Door 6: It's a bathroom stall door with writing on it. It says "THERE WAS A TOILET HERE, IT'S GONE NOW. You frown and hold your nose as you pass through it.) (Door 5: It's an old fashioned elevator with an eerie green glow coming from it. Both sets of doors open for you but just before you can step on it, it suddely drops down at a frightening speed. A few moments later, you hear a loud crashing noise and terrified screams of people. You manage to jump over the shaft hole and continue on.) (Door 4: It's made of loose teeth. You quickly grab all the pillows you can find, sweep the teeth into a pile and throw the pillows over them in hopes of a giant payday from the tooth fairy. (Door 3: It's filled with cute stuffed animals. That is to say, REAL cute stuffed animals. You shudder and do your best not to touch them with your hands as you move on.) (Door 2. It's made of black tar. The smell nearly overwhelms you as Johnathan Frakes face briefly emerges from it, his mouth open in a silent scream before sinking back in. Then an Ankh floats from behind you and touches the tar door. It vanishes as you hear a child laugh in the distance.) (Door 1: It's a castle gate that rises into the ceiling, revealing a drawbridge that slowly lowers to the ground. Suddenly a guy dressed as a knight shoves past you, nearly knocking you into the moat where a tentacled monster start to rise. You quickly hit up on your joystick and then right to quickly cross the drawbridge before it can get you and you are rewarded with a fanfare of trumpets.) (Door .7: It's a swirling orange vortex. Suddenly a large furry hand reaches out of its center, pets you on the head and calls you George before pulling you inside.) Joel emerged from the vortex into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right. Tom: So you're alive, huh? I should've known... Crow: I knew it all along! I was just playing the part so I could tease Gypsy about it later! Joel: Yeah, keep telling yourself that, sucker. Crow: Grrrr... >Chapter 3: Returns Crow: I *told* you that I ordered twelve dolls but only received eleven! Siberia!? Why the holy hell did you deliver one there!? I refuse to pay for this! >/The hulking figure stumbled blindly in the midst of the chaos, his >hands clawing the air, trying to grab onto something to allow him >to get his bearings for a moment. / Tom: Sorry, Hulk, you've got at least another five or six years to go before Marvel Vs. Capcom 4 gets out of development hell. Joel: HULK NO LIKE LIMBOOOOOOOOO...!!! >/Chun-Li watched silently, one hand placed onto the crumbling >wall to support herself while the other crutched her wounded >stomach. / Crow: Shouldn't... have tried... the shrimp... *burp*... owagggh... >/Her body was tense in anticipation, waiting for her foe to attack >her. / Joel: Unfortunately, Player 2 had an abrupt bathroom emergency and forgot to pause the game. >/The building they were in was collapsing, thanks to the explosion >caused by the C4s they used to blow up the Psycho Drive. / Tom: Next time... longer fuses. >/Around them, the place was an inferno. Flames engulfed the >crumbling building, spreading their boiling rage through >everything in their way. / Joel: Yet, cool guys don't look at explosions... >/The wild creature of fire refused to be tamed, growing more and >more wild by each second. / Crow: Ugggh... can anyone spare a Rolaid? The Kung-Pao chicken just declared war on my stomach and made allies with the shrimp... *burp*... >/The dizzying radiant heat from the blazes pulled Chun Li in >deeper into the burning abyss as she struggled to fight it. The >unwithstandable scent of smoke reeked in her nostrils, scorching >and sweltering hot. Sweat dripped down her forehead and into her >mouth, giving her a salty and bitter taste there. / Tom: Ugh, it's like being in the officer's sauna at Interpol all over again! >/Confirming that her nemesis was too weak and disorientated to >do any harm to her, Chun Li turned and climbed up the metal >ladder behind her. / Joel: Wait, did we just achieve crossover with Resident Evil 3? Tom: So her goal is to burn her hands off? Hokay. >/Despite how hot the metal was, she continued to persevere, knowing >very well that if she just throw in the towel, she would be consumed >by the ravenous crimson flames below her. / Crow: Fortunately, her fanservice-y towel was made of asbestos. Tom: Whew! I'd welcome a gratuitous nude shower scene about now! >/As she gritted her teeth and continued to climb, tears welling up >in her eyes, the man beneath her gave out a cry or anguish, his >body engulfed in flames. / Tom: I'm badly burned!! Joel: Another Sims character tries to cook for the first... and last time. >/"Chun Li!" He roared like a wounded lion, raising his >flames-covered hands in the air. / Crow: Long live.. the king! Joel: Noooooooo! >/"Do not think that a miserable worm like you can hope to defeat me! >I will return, you hear me?! I WILL RE-"Just then, a huge chunk of >debris from the ceiling came crashing down onto the man, prematurely >ending his rant. / Tom: I hate clichés. >/Chun Li looked back down at the pit of hell, a look of defiant in >her face. / Joel: And then, suddenly... sadness and regret. Crow: The corpse of your enemy never burns long enough, does it? >/"Oh, just die already, you freak." She whispered solemnly. / Tom: I shall NOT! As you see, player one has inserted.... Joel: Not the discs of reanimation! NOoooooOOOooOOOOOO!! >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Crow: The scene changes are desperate to convince us there's buried treasure here... >Chun Li woke up from her slumber with a start, at first unsure what >disturbed her. Tom: Then she rolled over and cuddled her Bison-sama. >Then, she heard a distinguished ringing noise and groaned. It seemed >that it was morning already and it felt like she just slept for a few >seconds. Joel: *yawns* That's what I get for springing for the John Cleese ringtone... >Wearily, with her eyes shut tight, she lifted her hand to her tableside >and forcefully pushed the button on the alarm clock. However, the >ringing did not stop. Surprised, she opened her beady eyes to see an >illuminated object resting on her tableside. > >Her cell phone. Crow: Oh shit! I almost forgot to feed my virtual kitties! Princess Stinky needs her num-nums! >Muttering curses, she picked it up and squinted her eyes at the >sudden glare. The name "Cammy" stared back at her. Tom: Friends don't get friends out of bed at ungodly hours. Joel: 2:30 in the afternoon? Tom: Exactly! >Looking at the time in her phone, she found out it was 3:49 am. >Doing a quick calculation, she realised in was about 8:49pm in >the UK. Crow: Enjoy hot waking up action! Joel: Will she order room service? Crow: Will she watch TV in her underwear? Tom: Will Prince William ever get out of her room and back into the loving embraces of the Duchess of Kent? >/Why is she calling me this early? Must be something important. / >She tapped the confirm button. > >"Cammy?" > >"Chun Li." Cammy's voice sounded serious, too serious. Crow: I AM YOUR FATHER. Joel: Not THAT serious. >Other times, she would sound peppy over the phone, but now, >she sounded as though someone closed to her had died. Joel: Bison's back, and he's AT MY DOOR! Tom: Sheesh, just take the pizzas he delivered and just give him like a dollar tip. Joel: But there's all this history... two bucks? Crow: All who undertip me shall be destroyed! >Chun Li's curiosity turned up a notch. "What is it?" she questioned. >There was silence for a moment, before Cammy's voice returned >strained. Tom: P-Pore Jud is DAID!! Crow: *sighs* I'll put on some coffee. >"You know Juni? One of the Dolls I found a few months ago?" Tom: She's got one eye that moves and follows me around all the time, it's kind of creepy. >"Of course." Chun Li came all the way to the UK to personally >interrogate her about Shadaloo, but upon finding out nothing >from the amnestic girl left her in Cammy's capable hands. Crow: Actually, she came for the Spice Girls reunion but "personal interrogation" looked better on her "official" report. Joel: Oh, and here I thought that she left China for all that great British food. Tom: Oh, spotted dick! How I've missed you! >"She... she started to act strangely a few days ago, complaining >about headaches that wouldn't go away, and this evening...she showed >signs of the Psycho Power." Crow: Usually around once a month. Tom: NOW who's being classy, Crow? Crow: Heh. >A cool breeze entered the room, causing Chun Li to unconsciously >shivered in spite her shock. Tom: Billy Dee Williams had arrived. Joel: When I said *every time*, I meant it, baby. >Her breathe was caught in her mouth, unable to be released, her >eyes widened considerably. Crow: Holy crap, that was some majorly time-delayed Ecstasy. Joel: ^_^...^0^...X_X Tom: You can say that again... I think. >"Are...are you sure?" she asked shakily, feeling faint. > >"Yes, she attacked me before fleeing the scene. Can't say I escaped >with just a few bruises." Cammy chuckled humourlessly. Tom: I'm in traction right now, the nurse is holding the phone for me... and her fingers reek of nicotine... bleah! >Chun Li took a deep breathe to compose herself before replying," >I will be booking the next flight for the UK the first thing in the, >erm, morning. Joel: Let me check around here for Carmen Sandiego first. >Tell Guile to meet us at your place too. I'm sure he would be very >interested at this recent development." Crow: Guile seems more the type interested in "free buffet". Joel: Not to mention "free hair gel". >Ending the conversation, Chun Li placed her face on her hands >and sobbed, her tears slipping through the cracks between her >fingers. Tom: Anyone else getting a visual image of Chun-Li's detached face in her hands? Crow: My god, she's a REPLOID! Who knows when she'll go Maverick!? >Why, God, why wouldn't this nightmare end? She cried out in despair. > >Only the howl from the morning wind answered her question. Joel: Are you sure that this isn't the air conditioning talking? >Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Crow: Congratulations, Doctor! The scene change was a success! >I presume they are all here?" The man boomed, his voice reverberating >in the room he called his 'throne room'. Tom: Morning wind, throne room... I'm sensing a pattern here. Joel: Yeah, too much cheese and pepperoni. >The elderly man nodded quickly, a lab coat covering his diminutive >frame. Being a dwarf in the same room as a giant can be...oppressing. Crow: Wow, Dexter's still at it, huh. Good for him. >A single drop of sweat snaked its way down his wrinkled forehead. Tom: Hey kids! Can you get the sweat drop down to its destination and avoid all the obstacles? Just grab yourselves a pencil and start here! >"Of course, master, they are all here, present and accounted for." The >man smiled nervously, avoiding eye contact with the other man's piercing gaze. Joel: An even dozen, just like you asked for. Crow: And... the flavor? Joel: B-B-Boston Creme, master. Crow: YESSSSS... >A smirk creeped onto the younger man's face. Tom: Oftentimes if you're smirking, you're already a creep. >"Very well, send them in" > >With a snap of a finger, the door swung open and 12 girls marched >in like soldiers into the room. Crow: His plans were undone once each of the girls realized that they were... wearing the same uniforms. Tom: Twelve-way catfight! Joel: Awesome. >Theirs eyes see nothing and their faces held a placid expression. Tom: Much like a Bethesda character. Crow: Or a bevy of Ben Steins. >All the clothes which they wore a few days ago changed into the >familiar Shadaloo Doll uniform, with their air stewardess-like cap >perched smartly on their head. Joel: Skycap Soldiers ASSEMBLE! >"Report!" The man commanded. > >All the girls raised their hand to their hand in salute and stood stiffly. Crow: I don't remember telling you to start a love train, but that works too. >"Enero reporting." > >"Février reporting." > >"März reporting." Tom: With us now live via satellite, is Rei Hino. Rei, what's the situation down there? Crow: Couldn't we just pull a Gundam Wing on this and just number them? >"Aprile reporting." Joel: O'Neil? Tom: I wish. >"Satsuki reporting." > >"Juni reporting." > >"Juli reporting." Joel: Robot Roll Call! Crow: Cute, Joel. >"Santamu reporting." > >"Xiayu reporting." Joel: Lois Lane reporting. Tom: Summer Gleeson reporting. >"Jianyu reporting." > >Noembelu reporting." > >"Decapre reporting." Tom: Why not something more out of the ordinary, like Canadian territories and provinces? Crow: Yeah, you could've added a thirteenth prologue! Joel: Go kill Ryu, Alberta! You too, Prince Edward Island! >"Well done Doctor, for a moment I thought you have failed >me." The man's grin grew wider. > >"Preposterous, sir, you put too little faith on me." The old man >said, a heavy load lifted from his shoulder. > >"Give my Dolls any further enhancement you have developed >over the past 2 months of my absence. You better not disappoint >me on that aspect." The man gave his subordinate a death glare >to prove his point. Joel: Sooo... D Cups for the lot of them? Tom: At a minimum. Crow: Oh, someone feels like trying the mods before going into the main plotline, eh? >"Of course sir. Now off you go." The old man ushered the mindless >soldier out of the room. Crow: Daddy needs some little blue pills.... QUICKLY! >"Oh yes, and Doctor?" The man suddenly piped out, halting the old >man in his tracks. "Yes sir?" he asked fearfully, his mind rummaging >through his memories to find any wrongdoings he did. Joel: He found out about the internet bill, I just know it! >"Once you are done prepping them up, I want them prepared for their >first mission in a long time." > >"Which is, sir?' Tom: They're going undercover as exotic dancing model masseuses who moonlight as call girls for a bikini disco dancing competition to expose corruption, drugs and murder at the local roller rink. Joel: Whatever you say, Charlie. >"To capture an old thorn on my side, Doctor." The man laughed drily, >sparks of purple electricity darted wildly from his fingers. Tom: Whoa! Wait a minute! The mysterious man is Emperor Palpatine? Crow: Isn't it just like Star Wars to invade ANOTHER fighting game series... wasn't ruining 'Soul Calibur' enough for you jerks!? >"It seems we are going to have a new addition to the Dolls unit." Tom: Oh great, does that mean we have to suffer through HER prologue as well? Crow: Heaven forbid it's a Ken doll. Sexist creep. >Chapter 4: Reunion Joel: Omigod! I missed you guys SO MUCH and I never thought I'd see you again...!! Crow: Yeah, great, who are you again? Never mind, just give me your lunch money. >Guile ran his hand over his fine flattop hair, sitting rigidly on the >waiting room chair, years of military training and discipline clearly >shown from his posture. Tom: But definately lacking from his "fine flattop hair". >To say he was unhappy about the situation they were in was the >understatement of the year. He was downright furious and irritated. Crow: He found out that VA coverage in the States amounts to a container of placebos and a hearty handshake. >As the wave of medical personnel and patients passed by him (they >almost seemed like a blur to him), Guile closed his eyes and tenderly >rubbed his throbbing forehead, feeling an impending headache. Tom: Oh NO! Crow: They brainwashed the MALE fighters too!? Joel: That means... dozens more prologues! All: NOOOOOOOOO!!! >A few minutes flew by before he heard a familiar voice >called his name. Crow: GUILE WINS! Joel: Oh, shut up! I'm not even fighting! Crow: TIME UP! Joel: *sighs* Tom: FATALITY! Joel: Hey, wait up a second... >"Guile! Over here!" the feminine voice yelled out, nearly >drowned by the din in the hospital. This prompted the >airman to open his eyes, searching for the source of the >voice. > >And there she was. Crow: Suddenly, 'How To Save a Life' by The Fray began playing. Tom: 'Guile's Anatomy', Season Finale, this Thursday on ABC. >Funny, considering how after the supposed 'fall' of Shadolaw, >the 3 of them hardly meet each other face to face anymore, and >remaining in contact with each other was out of question. Joel: Uh, why exactly? Crow: Things got a little wild at the after party... we all drank a little too much and now... *cough*... there may be a video or three for sale floating around the internet... Tom: I told you that Joe Francis guy couldn't be trusted! >It was as if Shadolaw brought them together, giving them a cause >to fight alongside with each other: Tom: As if! Joel: Yeah, we totally hooked up on Ashley Madison! >Guile lost his best friend Charlie, Chun li's father died in the >hands of that murderous fiend, and Cammy…have some /family / >relationship with the dictator. Crow: Well, technically Cammy IS full of Bison. Joel: >After his death, the bond between them slowly but steadily dissolved, >like snow melting when spring approaches. Tom: Or like an acid reacting within a solution by precipitating a compound. Crow: Once again, this has been Mystery SCIENCE Theater 3000. >In those 2 months, Guile took a break and decided to make >lost time with his family. Crow: Until Bison met his wife... now Guile has to split custody of his little ones with Shadaloo. >Julia and Amy were elated over this, especially Julia, who was >glad she need not worry whether her husband was going to >return in one piece. Joel: She really sucked at jigsaw puzzles. >Those were the best 2 months he had in his life. Crow: FINALLY caught up on my Netflix list, sweet. Joel: Kids, grab daddy another brewski! Best family bonding time EVER! >Unfortunately, this peaceful visage was shattered like glass with a >single phone call by Cammy 2 nights ago. Tom: I'm pregnant, Poison's the father and I'm gonna KILL ALL THREE OF US!!! Crow: Hoo boy, give me a sec... Honey? Do we have any dip left? >Guile gazed upon the newcomer, observing that she scantly >changed at all since the last time they met. Tom: He knew things was serious when she didn't even bother to swap her color palette. >Perhaps she seemed more tired; her eyes devoid of any vigour or >fighting spirt in them, eye bags hung noticeably under her eyes. >She looked worse off than him. Joel: Eye bag collection was Friday and I missed it! >Chun Li took a seat beside him, letting a weary moan as she >did do. She adjust her unkempt her hairs she stared exhaustedly >at Guile. Crow: What the hell was I just doing again? Joel: *shrugs* >"How did it go?" > >"Smoothly." Guile replied sarcastically as he crossed his arms to >his chest, letting out a sigh. Tom: Like spreading peanut butter on a pineapple. >"When I told Julia about the possible revival of Shadolaw, she >looked at me with disbelief and started reminding me that the >organization is gone, Crow: Ever since they started sampling their own product, it's been absenteeism city over there! >before changing tactics and begging me to stay, to allow sleeping >dogs to lie. Joel: But honey, if I don't give them their shots, who will? >When this didn't work, she just turned her back to me, sobbing >as she said "just go, then. I can't stop you. Nobody can." Joel: Don't go away mad... just go away. Crow: Is this where they cue the montage? Tom: THERE'S NO EASSSY WAY OUTTT...!! >It pained my heart to do this, but I must. And when I was leaving, >my little angel asked me innocently when I will be back…I was >lost for words." > >"Looks like some people just wouldn't die, huh?" Chun Li gave a >humourless smile. Crow: I know, right? Drowning her obviously didn't work and now she's more annoying than ever! >"When I get my hands on that son of a bitch, I going to beat the living >crap out of him and breaking all his fucking bones." Guile grumbled, >his hands tightening into clenched fist. Tom: Yeah, yeah, and you're going to kick that son-of-a-bitch Bison's ass so HARD that the next Bison wanna-be is gonna feel it, right? Joel: Oh, just go home already. >Before Chun Li could respond, a pink-hair nurse in blue hospital scrubs >approached them, squeezing pass the sea of people with difficulty. Crow: Sorry for the wait, there's two anime series and an OVA ahead of you. >"Monsieur Guile?" The woman-though she appeared to be more of a teenage >girl-smiled warmly. Tom: It's anime. She could be anything from a well-developed middle schooler to a 800-year-old entity slumming on Earth for any contrived reason. >"That's me," Guile said gruffly as he stood up, nodding his head in >affirmation. > >"Ms White is now able to see you. Would you follow me?" She then caught >sight of Chun Li, who was also getting up. "I presume you are seeing Ms >White too, /ou //avez-vous pas ? /'' Tom: No, I'm here to enjoy the April fresh scent of disinfectant and death. >''Yes.'' Chun LI replied, taking note of the girl's accent. It sounded >French, though it seemed as if she was trying to mask it for some reason >or another. Crow: Good moaning to the poo of you. Would you lick to butt some diffidells and doses for your friend before you pee her? >Looking at the girl's face closely, which was partially >covered with a surgeon mask, Chun Li felt a pang of recognition, but >she could not remember when or where she saw her before. Tom: Nurse Joy #331 accepted a temporary transfer from the Pokemon center in Paris. Joel: Waitasecond.... Mom?! >/Must be seeing things/ was the conclusion she arrived to as they made >their way to Cammy's room. Crow: After all, I've seen a million pink-haired girls that look too young to be holding down jobs. >Xxxxxxxxxxxx Joel: It's clearly a crosstitch sampler... "Bless this Happy Mess". >The 3 of them entered the rather tiny room, which almost everything was >glaring white, from the walls to the ceiling, from the bedsheets to the >floor. Tom: AHHH! DEATH! Crow: Huh? Joel: Don't mind her, it's a Chinese thing. >Only the blue window curtain offered any colour in this dull room. Crow: I wish my wounds would reopen so I could brighten my sheets up a bit. >Both Guile and Chun Li's eyes fell onto the resting form of one of their >comrades, her right leg wrapped in a cast and suspended mid-air from >the ceiling. Joel: Sounds like a Dr. Forrester invention. Crow: Why should you use your limbs when they can be so much more beneficial to everyone else around you? Oh, Frannnnnk... Tom: Dammit Crow, stop imitating him. It's almost like he's just across from me in the theater. >Bandages bounded her forehead, somewhat giving the 2 of them a >surreal feeling. Joel: In retrospect, it was a bad time to try adding headbutts to my moveset. >None of them have seen Cammy in such a state before; Crow: How the hell did you end up in Nebraska anyway? >after all, she was an outstanding fighter who can defend herself from >any threats, even managed to go toe to toe with for a few minutes when >they last encountered the infamous dictator. Joel: Fidel Castro? Tom: Kim Jong Un? Crow: Strong Bad? Tom: Only if the player manages to spam Spiral Arrow for four of those five minutes. >It would seem that 's power had increased drastically since their >last encounter. Tom: Ah geez, we're back to this again? Why would the nameless tribal guy with mammoth hands beat up Cammy? Crow: Just call him T. Hawk. Tom: Hey, I will if the fanfic will! >For a Doll to simply beat her black and blue…It was almost >inconceivable. Joel: You keep using those words, I do not think it means what you think it means. >Not to say that the Dolls weren't a threat. Each of them wields >part of the Psycho Power which enhanced their body, Tom: The doll with the enhanced lips was especially terrifying. Crow: Be careful of the one with the strong tongue, she'll lick you good. Joel: Of course, the one with the powerful knees just takes care of the place while the Master is away. >but due to their lifeless and robotic behaviour, it wasn't that hard to >beat them as long as you have superior fighting skills. Crow: Or a super-strong magnet to scramble their brainwaves. Tom: Just wrap some wire around Blanka, he'll give you a good electromagnet. >So there was no way Cammy could have been beaten so badly, even >if she was caught in surprise. > >It could only be the worst case scenario. Joel: So what was it, Cammy versus.... chocolate and wine? Crow: Why not? Capcom's practically challenged everyone else! >The nurse closed the door with a 'click' as Guile and Chun Li >approached the bed. Tom: Hey, are you going to finish that overly-dry chicken breast and the soggy macaronis? Crow: That's my puke, Guile. Tom: So you ARE finished with it? >"Cammy…" Chun Li called out, her hands gripping tightly onto the >railing beside the bed. > >Cammy slowly opened her eyes and let out a weak smile. Joel: She's gone, got any of the good stuff for me now? >"Hey guys. Sorry to have you seeing me like this on our first >reunion." Cammy said before giving out a small cough. Crow: Free coughs? Anyone? Tom: I'm good. Joel: I filled up on the plane. >"It's good to see you." Both Guile and Chun Li said in union, before >looking at each other awkwardly. Tom: I now pronounce you dork and dorkier. >Cammy's smile grew wider before shrinking when she returned to >'business' mode. Crow: Guile... you're fired. Joel: Woo hoo! Promotion! >"I'm sure you both know why I called you. It seemed, no, it is >guaranteed that Shadolaw is back. There is no doubt about it." Tom: Eight, seven central... on NBC! Crow: And cancelled after just two episodes. >"Are you sure? Just because that Doll you had with you go berserk >doesn't mean he's back. Maybe there is a screw loose in her mind after >all the experiments Shadolaw did on her." Guile rebuked. Joel: She was subjected to all of the failed pilots. Crow: Shadaloo Blue... no. Two Girls, a Guy and a Shadaloo..... no. Tom: Shadaloo and Winnie the Pooh Too.... definitely not. >Cammy's eyebrows knitted together as she replied, "I wish I could say >that the revival of Shadolaw is on shaky ground, but from the way she >acted, and the dark aura surrounding her… Crow: And the fact that the entire plot depends on it or we've been spinning our wheels at Mach 3... >There is no question that the Psycho Power is behind this." "How can >we say for certain? Maybe it was just the remains of the Psycho Power >in her?" Chun Li piped in. Tom: Yeah, maybe she's just running on Psycho fumes at this point? >Cammy sighed. "The Psycho Power can't act on its own, it needs a wielder >in order to be functional. The only known people who can do so >successfully is Bison and myself. Since I'm a novice in controlling it, >that leaves Bison." Joel: Believe me, I've tried to control the Dolls for my own twisted ends, but it's really freaking hard! >Guile slammed his fist on the tableside, causing Chun Li to jump in >surprise and Cammy to jerk on her bed. "Damn it, how can we kill this >buster? All: Crow: Damn, Guile's done gone Gangsta, son! >Everything we tried only ends with failure!" Just as sudden as >his fit came, it stopped, his shoulders slumped in defeat and sense >of hopelessness. Tom: Someone get me a bed and a large shot of ketamine, stat. >Chun LI placed a comforting arm around Guile. "Don't be dejected. >When there's a will. There's a way." Crow: You just got that off the poster in the nurse's break room, didn't you? Joel: Hang in there, baby! >"I'm having doubt on the 'will' part." Guile muttered, his face >downcast. Chun Li ignored his comment and turned to Cammy. Tom: Got some valium? Joel: About two hours ago. >"So what's our first course of action?" > >"Well." Cammy said as she adjusted herself carefully into a comfortable >position. "Colonel Wolfman decided to place a tracking device on Juni, >just in case of…situation like this. Crow: Well, clap for the Wolfman! Maybe military intelligence *isn't* a myth. Tom: Well technically, he was under orders from General Mummy. >As we are speaking, Delta Red are now tracking her down. Hopefully >they will be able to find where Bison is hidi-" > >Suddenly, Cammy's eyes widened as she stared passed her 2 visitors >in shock. Crow: Is that Patch Adams!? Oh wow! I've been looking forward to this! >"GUILE! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!" She screamed, waving her >arms frantically just as a 'pfft' sound could be heard. Joel: Eh, no worries. Chun-Li's been carpet bombing me all day. Crow: Eh, you love it, you know you do. >Guile barely had time to leap into safety as the bullet whizzed past >him, imbedding itself onto the wall behind him. Tom: You could've TOLD us you didn't have insurance! Joel: Oopsie. >Spinning around in alarm, Chun Li the nurse holding a smoking >semi-automatic pistol in her hands, her eyes staring blankly at the >recovering Guile. Tom: Wait, the nurse is also named Chun-Li? Crow: Apparently the nurse assassinated the verb. >Chun Li had no time to react before the 'nurse' fired a few more shots >at Guile. He managed to dodge the first few before one struck his ankle. Joel: I like to start at the bottom and work my way up. >"GAHH!" The airman yelled in pain as he landed on the ground heavily, >his face displaying the pain he was feeling. Crow: MEDIC! Tom: At your service! *bang* Crow: GAHH! >Blood began to ooze out of his wound as he desperately crutch >his ankle to stop the bleeding. Joel: At least he's in the right place to get medical supplies. Tom: Who needs a fresh box of band-aids? *bang* >"Secondary target: William Guile. Expendable, termination in progress." >The nurse droned as she aimed her pistol at the fallen airman. Crow: Your name is Billy? Aww! >The Interpol agent tackled the 'nurse' , sending both women sprawling >onto the ground. She managed to smack the pistol off before a powerful >hand gripped her throat. Shock, she furiously clawed at the hand to >release her, to no avail. Joel: First do no harm!! Tom: Shock, I didn't know there were Wallmasters in this story. >Slowly, the 'nurse' stood up, pulling the thrashing Chun Li up with her. >Staring squarely at the desperate eyes of the Chinese woman, she said, Crow: A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR HELPS THE MEDICINE GO DOWN. >"Main target apprehended. Returning to base immediately." > >Suddenly, she gave a quick lightning jab to the Chinese woman's face >with such force that she was unconscious when the blow struck her. Tom: Oh, what is this? Tekken now? Crow: K.O! Tom: Dammit, I was kidding! >The 'nurse' slung a limp Chun Li over her shoulder just as Guile >swung his fist weakly at her while his other hand covering his ankle. Crow: That makes for an awkward yet hilarious visual. >Guile stared disbelief when his fist connected nothing. /It's >almost…uncanny! Almost as if she just teleported!/ Joel: Almost as if the writer was playing 'Marvel Vs. Capcom' before writing this fanfic! Tom: Guile, you create balls of energy with your FISTS. Is teleportation REALLY that much more of a stretch? >Just then, he felt pressure being applied at the back of his neck and >the world when black. Tom: So the entire world goes dark when Guile gets a massage? Crow: Richard help us if he gets a happy ending. >Cammy could only be the helpless spectator as she watched the Doll >took down her friends with ease. Crow: Hmph! Last time I bet on my friends. You just cost me ten grand, LOSERS! Joel: I'd help you but the happy juice is kickin'....in..... ahhhhhh. >/Unbelievable! What had Bison been doing to them these past months? / Tom: I'm gonna guess a steady diet of energy drinks, PCP and Mentos. >She then realized that the Doll was standing beside her bed. > >The Doll ripped off the surgeon mask, allowing Cammy to >recognize the face behind. "Fevrier!" Cammy cried out in disbelief. Joel: Which one was Fevrier again? Crow: Uh... the one that killed that one person in prologue... one? Joel: Oh yeah. Thanks. >The last time she saw this Doll in action, she wasn't able to move >this fast. Tom: I remember when she could barely turn her head, what idiot gave her 70 points of articulation!? Crow: These dolls didn't come from no cabbage patch. >It appeared that her theory that the Psycho Power was getting >stronger is true. Tom: Her theory about Puppy Power was still pending though. >The Doll looked at Cammy with a faint smile, something Cammy felt >strange and…unsettling. Joel: BURP ME. >"You served no purpose to Lord Bison, yet he didn't order your >execution. Be thankful for being able to live another day." Crow: How about Chief Buffalo? What's his opinion of Cammy? >Cammy had no time to ponder over the abnormal behaviour of the Doll >nor the weird message before Fevrier's fist enveloped her vision. Tom: *sniff sniff* Is that Chanel No. 5? Wo-a-a-h... guesssss nottt... *thump*... >Chapter 5: Revelations Joel: Revelation... exaltation... transubstantiation!! Crow: Inebriation. Tom: <> >/It's too bright. / Crow: I walked towards the light and now I'm BLIND! Screw you, Carol Ann! >That was the first thing Chun Li thought as she felt her consciousness >creeped back steadily into her mind. > >Slowly and cautiously, the Chinese Interpol agent opened her beady eyes. Joel: She woke up as Yi Fu, Chinese laundress. Crow: You no bring laundry ticket, WE NO HAVE SERVICE! BYE-BYE!! >At first everything seemed to be covered by a dense fog, rendering her >nearly blind to her surroundings. However, the fog began to lift in a >few seconds and Chun Li took the time to take in her current situation. Joel: She was deep in a thicket of Guile's hair. The smell of gunpowder and Axe made her want to retch. >She found herself laying on her stomach on a hard concrete floor, no >doubts giving her aches and cramps later. Crow: Street fighting, no sweat. Lying on the floor, cramp city. Tom: Just like a giiiiirl. Cramps and wimpiness. >The room she was in was pretty bare, save for a wooden chair which >had seen better days and a rusting vent on the ceiling. Tom: Let's play a game... See, there's laser sharks and ballistic water buffalo coming through the vent in three seconds. You must first buy apack of mints, using a circular saw blade as a unicycle. Then... >Chun Li wasn't claustrophobic, but being ringed by 4 peculiarly >well-scrubbed walls (considering the condition of the sparse amount of >objects in this room) gave her this sense of oppression and slight >giddiness. Joel: Chun-Li, wanting a shower, resigns herself to rubbing against the walls. Crow: Wow, this is the cleanest sex dungeon I've ever seen! *sniff sniff* And lemony fresh too! >With arms feeling as unstable as jelly, Chun Li pushed herself off >the dusty floor. Tom: So the walls are well-scrubbed yet the floor is dusty? Someone needs to fire their maid. >"Oh look, she got up." > >"About time, I'm getting bored just staring at Sleeping Beauty." Crow: Still better than just staring at Snow White. Tom: Why's that? Crow: Cause then we'd be Sleepy, Grumpy, Dopey... >Startled, Chun Li quickly glanced behind her, trying to locate the >source of the voices. Joel: Oh, shoot! We've been made! Quick, duck down, everyone! (Joel and the bots disappear behind their seats for a few seconds.) Tom: Joel, is the coast clear? (Joel's head slowly peers over his seat) >She didn't sense any other presences in the room other than herself, Joel: Yeah, I think we're okay. She didn't see us. Crow: Whew, that was close! (Joel and the bots resume sitting in their seats) >so when someone suddenly spoke up, her heart nearly >jumped to her throat. Crow: GAHHH!!! Open your mouth, I want out! I WANT OUT!!! >Behind her were 2 Dolls (she could tell because of their iconic >uniforms, Tom: And if you tickle them, they'll fuck you up. >but she couldn't remember who they were specifically), Joel: Yeah, join the club, lady. Tom: Best bet? Go by the hair color. Crow: Their uniforms are so short, you have two colors to choose from. >both of them leaning causally against the wall. One of them >had short orange hair while her slightly taller counterpart was >a brunette with her hair tied to a bun. Joel: Okay, you've got their hair colors, who are they? Tom: Uhhhh, Fanta and Coke? Sunkist and RC? No wait, Crush and Pepsi! Joel: Just forget it. >They were staring at her with an amused and inquisitive look on >their pale face. Tom: We both have a bet... does Guile use gel, or shellac? Crow: F-Finger in the nearest electric socket... every ten minutes or so... >Staring back at the 2 Dolls, Chun Li felt a wave of unease swept over >her, felt fear twisting her stomach into an unpleasant knot. Part of >this was because she knew that whenever there are Dolls, Bison is >involved or /very /close by. Joel: Well, to be fair, it could just as easily be Dark Helmet. Crow and Tom: Oooh, his helmet is SO BIG... >Seeing the predicament she was in, it was probably the latter. Which >means she was most likely in the base of Shadoloo. Crow: It's actually *Shadaloo*, but I'll take Shadoloo over Shadolaw any day. >Chun Li couldn't decide whether to be overjoyed or anguished. Tom: If it's Michael Bay, just make sure the boobs are front-and-center on the shot, face be damned. >The other part of was the strange behaviour of those Dolls. Not to say >that the Dolls' behaviour were normal; they would speak and act like >mindless robots, only listening and doing what their master command >them to do. Joel: She'd be more freaked out if they renacted that interpretive dance scene with Bison from 'Romy and Michele's High School Reunion'. Crow: But not by much. >Yet, these Dolls…Their behaviour was akin to how normal people's >behaviour. From her past experience, she had never seen a Doll act >like this before. Joel: Hell is empty and all the devils are here... Crow: If I be waspish, best beware my sting... Tom: THERE... ARE... FOUR... LIGHTS!!! [Crow and Joel stare at Tom] Tom: What? >It was indeed unsettling. Crow: Yeah, give those dolls a freaking Tony Award, already. >The 2 Dolls approached her silently, with malicious smiles pasted on >their face, their eyes however remained that identical to a dead fish. Joel: But it wasn't until they started wiggling about while singing 'Take Me To The River' that Chun-Li knew REAL fear. >Chun Li stood on her wobbly legs, her body swaying unconsciously. Tom: Aww crap, they turned on Daft Punk, she can't stop ironically dancing! >She raised her arms half-heartedly in a defence stance, knowing she >wouldn't stand a chance against Bison's elite assassins, yet that >doesn't mean she wasn't going down without a fight. Joel: Just make it quick and bury me not on the lone prairie. >The shorter one reached her first, stretching out her hand to Chun Li's >face, as though attempting to stroke her cheek. Chun Li reeled back her >face with disgust, before viciously swinging her fist towards to the Doll. Crow: At least buy me flowers first! >Her fist struck nothing but thin air. Tom: And because of her wild swing, Hong Kong was soon wiped out by a typhoon... that's how chaos theory works, right? >Chun Li felt the familiar sense of /déjà vu /she stared in awe and shock >at her fist, which she stubbornly held in place. Crow: My fist... is AWESOME! It's too good for your lousy chin! >Tilting her head to the right, she saw the taller Doll giggling like a >schoolgirl, her hand placed tentatively on her mouth. Joel: Wait, is that... Karin Kanzuki!? When the hell did Bison brainwash her!? Tom: Do you REALLY want a Prologue 3? Joel: Point taken. >Chun Li could only stared dumbly at the laughing Doll, her mind >unable to process the wealth of questions entering her feverish >head: Crow: Where does my cat go all day when I'm at work? Does all purple taste like grape, or is there some plum around? Where did that whale and bowl of petunias come from? Tom: Where's the Tylenol? >/Where am I? Am I in Shadoloo Headquarter? Are Cammy and >Guile alright? >Why are the Dolls acting this way? How did >they become more powerful?/ Tom: Does Shadaloo validate parking? Joel: And why am I still holding my own fist? Let... Let GO! *smack* There! >Unfortunately, her questions were remained renounced Crow: Moments later, Merriam and Webster could be heard rolling in their graves. >as she heard a mocking voice taunted her from behind: >"Too /slow." / Joel: No no, it's "Gimmie five", "on the side", "down low", THEN "too slow". Tom: Teaching Chun the cool kids handshake was going to take all night. >Without warning, Chun Li felt the sharp daggers of pain stabbed her >back, causing her to collapse on the ground, writhing in pain. Crow: Et tu, Brute? >The 2 Dolls squatted beside her violently twitching body, eyeing at >her with morbid curiosity just like a sadistic child scrutinizing a >dissected frog in his biology class. Joel: Why am I suddenly envisioning Beavis and Butthead? Tom: Reveal your secrets, Kermit! *poke poke* REVEAL THEM, DAMN YOU!!! >The taller Doll poked Chun Li's ribs with her finger, chuckling, >"Look at you, all high and mighty in bringing down Lord Bison, >yet being defeated by those who are inferior to him. Ah, how >the mighty has fallen." Crow: Give me nine prologues to train and you'd be singing a different tune, sister. >Suddenly, an unseen speaker crackled to life, and a voice that Chun Li >loathed with her life and would remember till the day she die, spoke. Tom: My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. >"Juni, Juli. We don't want to ruffle up our guest too much now, >do we?" Crow: Just Lay's Herr's on the ground and we'll Kettle the score soon enough. Tom: Very Wise of you, sir. Crow: Ooh, I'm Pringling with anticipation! Joel: These puns are nacho best. >"Negative, sir." The 2 Dolls replied in union, immediately straightening >up and standing stiffly and smartly like a soldier, all hints of emotion >wiped completely from their faces. Joel and Tom: Anna Kournikova Mode: Activated. Crow: Fascinating. >"Very good. Please take our guest to the throne room. I'm sure we need >to get re-acquaintance again after so long, hmm?" Crow and Tom: Be our guest! Be our guest! Put our magi.... Joel: Now cut that out! >"Of course, sir." Both Dolls chimed at the same time, bending >down to hoist the Interpol agent up by grabbing under her armpit. Joel: They couldn't resist the urge to make a little music. Crow and Tom: It's the PITS! It's the PITS! Joel: OK, seriously now, stop it! >Chun Li was again shocked by the sudden switch in the Dolls' behaviour, >changing back to their 'normal' mood. Crow: There's Bison in the corner, fiddling with his iPhone, then Chun-Li connects the dots. Joel: iDolls? So THIS is 7!? Tom: Woo-hoo... all right! I love the future! >But those questions were pushed aside by the fear and anger she >harboured against the infamous dictator. Joel: Benito Mussolini? Crow: Joseph Stalin? Tom: Pee Wee Herman? Joel: Hey, respect the suit. >/Oh, we are going to get re-acquaintance and get along real fine >with each other, once I sink my fist into your putrid face./ Crow: Assuming he's into that. Tom: Not much of a challenge to beat up on the crippled girl there, Bison. Joel: I prefer easy mode whenever it's offered. >Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Tom: All these X's and we still have yet to see Ron Jeremy. Crow: Good. >After being dragged by the 2 Dolls unceremoniously through a >dim-lighted hallway, the trio reached a set of metal doors. Joel: Wait, did we just switch to a Madonna video? Tom: Video? This happens to Madonna at least three times a week. >Before they could enter, however, a blood-curling scream >emitted behind the doors. Crow: Oh Lord, they must be taping new episodes of 'Fuller House' in there. >Chun Li's first reaction was to burst through the doors to save the >unfortunate soul, but she was restrained by the iron grips of Juni >and Juli. Crow: Never a bloody lifeguard around when you need one! >Juli seemingly took her time to open the doors, the increased >suspense and fear were gnawing Chun Li's stomach. Joel: And behind the door... Doofie from 'Scary Movie' 1! >When the doors finally flew open to reveal what's inside, >Chun Li felt her bilge threatening to escape her throat. Tom: It's a brand new CAMMY! All: >Rolling indolently on the luxurious red carpet covering the entire >floor of the room, was the head of a man with a petrified look >etched on his face, blood spurting from the stump where his neck was. Tom: That's where the product testers from Kellogg's feed their victims... err, volunteers new flavors of cereal. Joel: Sugar-frosted Knives.... no. Crow: Ah, they're giving them the *Special* K. >Nearby, a decapitated body laid lifelessly. From the clothes on it, >Chun Li assumed that the man was probably one of the lowly goons >Bison has who he considered 'expendable'. Joel: Nah, that was just the pizza guy. He didn't have proper change... for the LAST time. >Standing in the middle of the room, a Japanese Doll stood with her legs >apart, her hands in the air, gripping a bloody katanna, giving one a >sense that she was doing so elaborate pose. Crow: It's new Seppuku Barbie! You can help her restore Ken's family honor! Tom: Nothing will restore Ken's family's honor if he has a GIRL fighting for him. Joel: Hey, that's sexist! I always have girls fighting for me! >Blood from the katanna dripped onto her face, yet that didn't >fazed her satisfied grin on her face one bit. Joel: Don't mind her, she's just prologue #14. Wait until Book 2 for that. Tom: NOOOOOOO!! >But Chun Li's attention was switched to the person behind her. Crow: You're using T-Mobile? Those data rates will bankrupt you, man! Switch to Sprint... now! >Standing majestically like a great evil god, his sturdy arms >crossed over his broad chest, his mouth stretched to a death >grin, his soulless eyes filled with nothing but pure malice. Crow: Wait, if his eyes are souless then how the hell can they be filled with malice? Tom: Artistic license or lethargy? You make the call! >"Bison." Chun Li whispered through gritted teeth. > >The man in question stride with a sense of arrogance down the >stairs from the platform he was standing. Kicking aside the >bodiless head which was in his path with the same amount of >attention to an annoying fly buzzing around his head, 's gigantic >frame loomed over the smaller women. Crow: Why, he was so gigantic, he cast a Shadoloo over the smaller women! Joel and Tom: *groans* >"Agent Chun Li. It has been quite some time we have last met. I >apologized for this small…incident here. I just can't stand my >subordinates' incompetence and failures sometimes. Crow: Funny, you seem quite tolerant of your own. By the way, CEILING any better since we last met? Joel: Hey, shut up! Tom: Ooh, burn! And speaking of BURN... >Satsuki, if you would." > >The Japanese Doll gave a quick bow before dragging the >corpse's by its leg and gripping the head under her arm and >leaving the Throne room wordlessly. Crow: Buck up, girl, just thirty more decapatations and you can retire. >"Look, if you want to continue to gloat at your 'victory' over me >and for me having failed to kill you, I suggest you just kill me >immediately." Chun Li retaliated. Joel: "Kill me", she retaliates... she needs lessons in negotiation. >Even though she put on a defiant front, her heart was relentlessly >thumping against her chest from the fear she was feeling. Despite >facing against the dictator countless times, she could never get >rid of her phobia of him Tom: Every single December... anyone in a red suit, she screamed like a Banshee and hid under the nearest tree. Crow: The poor mall Santa's ears were ringing for days... >The dictator chuckled heartily. His body shaking with each >chuckle he made, as if Chun LI had told him a joke. Joel: Like a bowl full of jelly? Tom: Bison is a right jolly old dictator. >"Kill you? Why would I do that? Death will end your >nightmare swiftly and too soon, something I wouldn't allow >for all the troubles you gave me. Crow: We've got to pad out the plot somehow. I'm not kissing you and there's only one other option. >Secondly, why waste such a perfect body? Granted, it is >pathetically weak compared to mine, but are you not proclaimed >to be the strongest woman in the world?" Tom: Holy crap, you're right! I completely forgot! Juli and Juni shouldn't be able to restrain me at all! HYAAHHHH!!! Joel: Ah, crap. Crow: Not stronger than TWO women though. Tom: Oh drat. >"What are you getting at?" Chun Li's felt the cold stone of fear >gradually getting heavier every second. Joel: She should pass that stone already. >"Are you that ignorant? I would like you to join the ranks of one >of the top officials in Shadoloo." Crow: As a top official, you won't be decapatated if you fail me. Tom: Whew, that's a relief. Crow: Instead, you'll be transferred to Detroit. Tom: NOOOOOOO!!! >There was silence for a few seconds before Chun Li burst out >laughing, causing Bison's smile to falter. > >"Me? Join you? You must be loony to think of such things! I >wouldn't join force with you! Not even a million years! You >can't force me!" Joel: We've got dental... Tom: Never! Joel: Company car? First six months, I'll comp gas. Tom: NEVER! Joel: How about five bucks, a bag of doughnuts, and a butterscotch enema? Tom: What flavor doughnuts? Joel: Umm... shoot, all we have left is Coconut. Tom: NEVERRRRRR!!! >"That wasn't a request. It was an order." Bison leaned forward >until both long-time nemesis's nose almost touched each other. Crow: How come I'm expecting Neil Diamond to sing "Sweet Caroline" in the next three milliseconds? >"You can ask them," he gestured at the 2 Dolls behind her. "They >didn't ask for this, but thanks to my charming nature, I persuaded >them successfully." The shark-teeth grin returned on Bison's face. >"Care to know how?" Tom: Immoral brain washing techniques on underaged teenage girls because you're incapable of inspiring loyality from any actual soldiers? Crow: *AHEM*! Moving right along... >Chun LI felt the world went cold all of a sudden. Joel: Oh, is it the day after tomorrow already? >"You wouldn't…" She stammered, a lump in her throat > >"It wouldn't hurt." Juni comforted. > >"You couldn't…" > >"Come on, it wasn't that bad…" Juli cooed Crow: It's high time you had a complete... Tom and Crow: MAKEOVER!!! Tom: And... cue the montage. >"NO! I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU DO IT!" Chun Li >cried out in anger as she struggled desperately like a beast >caught in a trap. But the combined hold of the 2 Dolls proved >that such attempt to escape was fruitless. Crow: Again, STRONGEST woman in the world. Joel: Damn, they've got me in a contrivance clutch! Now I can't escape their grasp no matter how implausible! Tom: All I'm saying is that Ronda Rousey would've had both of them on the floor by now... >Bison watched the scene unfold before him, savouring the very >moment of it. Crow: *flash* Joel: Just upload this to my Facebook page... ooh, 3 likes already! Tom: Your like doesn't count, Bison! Joel: And... blocked. >"I see you realised what I'm getting at. With the untimely >departure of Killer Bee, there is a vacancy for the leader >position in my Doll unit. Crow: What about Killer Moth? Or Killer Croc? Tom: Hell, I'd settle for Killer Tomato. >And who other than you can be the perfect replacement." Tom: Well, considering the teenage killer motif you've got going... Sakura? Ibuki? Makoto? Elena...? Joel: Hey, come on, it's only chapter five! Give me some time, willya!? Tom: Actually... this was the last chapter. Guess the author ran out of fanfic. Crow: WHAT!? When was the last time it was updated? Tom: Oh, about 12 months and a... D'OH! Joel: Boy, good thing we didn't waste our time reading all those prologues or anything... Crow: Son of a bitch! Joel, I need a drink! Joel: Yeah, I think we've all earned one. Come on, Tom... Tom: Nnnnnnnngh... nnnnnnngh ...!! (Joel picks up Tom and hurriedly follows Crow out of the theater) * * * SATELLITE OF LOVE Joel and the bots relaxed in lawn chairs around the bridge. They had originally planned to go back to the party and have a quiet drink but upon walking in on Gypsy doing Kareoke with Richard Baseheart, they decided not to spoil her fun and relax elsewhere. Fortunately, Crow had procured a small bottle of rum for just such an occasion. "So, besides brainwashing Chun-Li into yet another doll for his private army, what do you think Bison's plan was going to be?" Crow inquired. "Take over the world via a Street Fighting tournament? Just throwing a wild guess out there..." Tom muttered. "Say guys, what do you think Season Six has in store for us?" Joel suddenly asked. "Yikes, are you drunk enough to break the fourth wall already? Talk about a lightweight." Crow chuckled "Shouldn't Mike Nelson have replaced you as host by now? Not that we want you to leave or anything..." Tom quickly added. "Nope, different universe. I'm here to stay from the looks of it. Besides, for all our griping, I can't imagine anywhere else I'd want to be than with the two of you, right here, right now, my two best friends in the world..." Joel said with a warm smile. "Yep, definately hammered." Crow nodded. "Come on, Joel, let's get you to bed." Tom and Crow helped Joel to his feet and let him drap his arms over their bodies as they helped him walk unsteadily to his room. "No, seriously, guys, I love you... And I can't wait till we all graduate..." Joel moaned. "Whatever you say, Rummy." Tom replied, amused before whispering to Crow. "After we put him to bed, we're gonna draw all over his face, right?" "Hell yeah." Crow replied with an evil chuckle. Just then Magic Voice crackled over the bridge speakers. "Joel Robinson passing out drunk in five... four... three... Joel passing out drunk now." "W-WAIT!! OOOF!! Dammit, why do humans have to be so lumpy! Not to mention, HEAVY! Get him off me, Tom!" Crow groaned. "Uh, how? My arms don't work!" Tom replied. "Oh, poopie." * * * DEEP 13 The ominous quiet of the currently vacant laboratory was rudely broken by Frank leaping in from off-camera with a loud battle cry, a set of gauntlets on his hands resembling swiss army knifes with all the attachments out. "Prepare to di... huh? Wait, where did Torgo go? Where did... aw, fudge." Frank pouted as he lowered his hands, his gauntlets slipping off to hit the floor with a loud clanging noise. Then he looked over at the still uneaten bowls of candy and shrugged. "Eh, I'll live and let the dead live for now." Frank muttered to himself as he rushed over to his precious leftover candy and began separating it into various catagories. He then grabbed a handful of candy before looking up and tossed it at the viewscreen. "Happy Halloween, everybody!" he exclaimed before tossing a popcorn ball at the button. *FWOOSH!* ..AND THE MSTINGS CONTINUE... We hope you enjoyed this and comments are very welcome. (megane67@rogers.com) (zoogz@yahoo.com) Follow us on Twitter at (@MSTerMegane67) (@ZoogzMST) Read our Blog at http://mstings.blogspot.ca/ Check out our newest Let's Plays for the AGS Adventure Game 'The Medical Theories of Dr. Kur' and 'Witch Night', now available on Youtube for your viewing pleasure at: [Let's Play... The Medical Theories of Dr. Kur] - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvKtN3d7TWk [Blooper Reel] - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M98zMs6e-XI [Let's Play... Witch Night] - http://youtu.be/KlsZXdAH7G8 [Blooper Reel] - http://youtu.be/YpHz4jlBphc You can also find my first Let's Play of the AGS Adventure Game 'Paul Quest' and a few other videos at: - https://www.youtube.com/user/MSTerMegane67/videos I've been MSTing for almost nineteen years now and I want to thank each and every person who's send me words of support and encouragement and who have helped me with my MSTs over the years. I treasure every piece of fan mail I receive and I consider it a great honour that some people have dedicated their MSTings to me and tell me that I helped encourage them to start MSTing. To all of you, thank you from the bottom of my heart and I hope I can continue to inspire and make you laugh for a long time to come. :) I'd like to give personal thanks to Zoogz, who's in-depth C&C and riffs for this MSTing are always appreciated and for making the MSTing process so much fun! :) - Zoogz's 'Mystery Science Cinema' series can be found at http://www.nabiki.com/mst/zoogz/mst/ including his latest MSTings: - 'Help Wanted' (Sailor Moon / Ranma 1/2) And - '[None Yet Suggestions Welcome in Reviews!]' (Sailor Moon) Other recent MSTings we've done: http://www.nabiki.com/mst/recent/ - 'A Date with Fate' (Sailor Moon Lemon) - 'Two Worlds: Discovering Good Hearts' (Ranma 1/2) - 'Wife or Kid' w/short 'Lunch Time' (Urusei Yatsura/WWF) (Sailor Moon) - 'The Adventures of Captain Yaten' (Sailor Moon) - 'Finding Your Place' (Rurouni Kenshin) - 'Loki Unties The Wolf' (Utena) - 'The Life I Left Behind' (Multi X-Over) - 'Eye of the Tiger' (Neon Genesis Evangelion / Xenogears) - 'Wild Senshi' Pt. 1-2 (Sailor Moon / Ranma 1/2 / Yu-Gi-Oh Lemon) - 'My Kid's An Alien!' Pt. 1-3 (Urusei Yatsura) ***All of Zoogz and my MSTings and the MSTings we've contributed to can be found in the various categories at:*** 'A MSTing for All Seasons' http://www.nabiki.com/mst 'The MSTing Mine' http://www.keithpalmer.ca/msting-mine/ 'Everything What Is Crap!' http://svamcentral.org/ewic/ >"Chun Li looked back down at the pit of hell, a look of defiant >in her face. > >"Oh, just die already, you freak." She whispered solemnly. " Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 2016 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Keep Circulating the Fanfics...