Subject: [kffdisc] Re: Hiko Hate List Date: Sun, 28 Mar 1999 12:11:39 -0500 From: Dee Baptista Reply-To: kffdisc@onelist.com To: kffdisc@onelist.com From: Dee Baptista From: "Miss Hideki" > > >If you'll remember...it was Aoshi who was after me!!! Yeah, right. To quote Misao, "YOU DIDN’T EXACTLY RESIST, YOU BRAZEN HUSSY YOU!!!!!!!" >I wanted Sano but >you, Megumi-san HAD to some along and take him away from me. *sniff >sniff* But for now, Sano is with me...so HA!!! Just I suppose you can >come by later...after I've finished with him, which would be a LONG >TIME!!!!!! *manical laughter* Be careful. I have accesss to many medicines and poisons.... O ho ho ho ho ho ho!!! Deena's an.. O ho ho ho ho ho.... ^_~ to keep this on-topic, you can read the fic and make up your own minds.... Here's Deena's fic, as it was posted on the Aoshi-Misao fic ML.... An Interview with Shinomori Aoshi By Staff Reporter Deena Enter a tall girl with long, curly black hair stuffed outta the way with red chopsticks. She is awkwardly clad in a purple and blue kimono, dainty wooden sandals, and a white obi that is tied too tightly around her waist. She takes two steps and promptly falls down. Deena: Aw %#_~&*@+!!!! Boss, do I have to wear this stupid get-up? Boss: Yes you blasted Canadian fool!!! You’re interviewing *the* Shinomori Aoshi-sama!!! You must be dressed in traditional Japanese clothing and appear the epitome of feminine beauty and grace. Deena: *whining* Can’t I appear the epitome of feminine beauty and grace wearing overalls and a T-shirt? Boss: *thundering* NO!!!!!!!! Aoshi-sama deserves respect!!!! Now do what I say otherwise YOU’RE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!! Deena: Alright, alright. Don’t get ants in the pants. Sheesh. Boss: MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Deena: *muttering* Okay, okay. *hobbles away* Later we see a new Deena. Having dissed the crazy, tottering sandals, she is now wearing clunky Don Martin boots…comfortable footwear for the long journey from Tokyo to Kyoto. She loosened her obi, hiked up the long kimono and tossed on a long, stylish trenchcoat. Well what? She *is* going to interview Aoshi, the biggest stud in a trenchcoat, afterall. Deena: Damn boss me tell me what to do. $#@*&#%*$+($*!%$^&$ )!!!!!!! She enters the temple where Aoshi is meditating deeply. Deena waits for five minutes. Aoshi continues to meditate. Deena waits for ten minutes while coughing loudly. Aoshi continues to meditate. Deena waits for fifteen minutes while banging on the wall. Aoshi continues to meditate. Deena waits for twenty minutes while coughing loudly, banging the wall and screaming. Aoshi continues to meditate. Deena waits for twenty-five minutes and in a fit of anger throws her sandals at him. Aoshi does not continue to meditate. Deena- *smirking* Knew those infernal contraptions would come in handy. Aoshi- *standing up, kodachi in hand. Glares menacingly at poor Deena* Deena- *smiling winningly* Uh, gomen nasai Aoshi-sama. My name is Deena and I’m here to do an interview for the Aoshi...um...Aoshi mailing list. You’re so very popular and everyone loves you. That’s why I’m here. To show all your fans your warm, lovable, caring side. Are you ready to start the interview now? Aoshi- Go away. Deena- *brightly* That sounds like a yes to me! Let’s go Aoshi-sama. This is going to be great! *looks him over* You sure are sexy when you don’t have your trenchcoat on. That kimono robe thing makes you look like Buff the Stuff for sure. It’s a great piece of garb, eh. Elegant yet casual, comfortable yet stylish. Perfect for meditating and yet classy enough to make you look cool and manly in case any fans show up. You certainly are quite the snazzy dresser, eh Aoshi-sama? Aoshi-........ Deena- *muttering under her breath* Oh this is going great. I sound like the perfect moron. Sheesh. The things I do for a couple of bucks. And Canadian bucks at that. *in a louder voice, to Aoshi* It’s such a nice day today. Shall we conduct the interview outside? Aoshi-........ Deena- *sighing* Well, if you aren’t going to express any opinions then… *grabs Aoshi by the arm and drags him outside, babbling nonsense all the way* They both sit down on the steps of the temple. Well, in all fairness, Deena pulls Aoshi down beside her. Aoshi does not appear to be happy at the prospect of conducting an interview with Deena. In fact he has that stony, glacial sort of look, the one that makes him look like he wants to go on a killing spree….starting with the girl next to him. Deena, for her part is straightening her kimono and mumbling obscenities under her breath at the kimono and at her boss. Deena- It sure is warm out today, isn’t it? Aoshi-........ Deena- Have fun meditating? Aoshi-........ Deena- How was your tea today? Aoshi-........ Deena- You look nice today. Very relaxed. Aoshi-........ Deena- Er, Aoshi-sama? This is an interview. You’re required to talk. Aoshi-........ Deena- Aoshi-sama? Aoshi- Go away. Deena *grinning* Attaboy! I knew you could do it!!! Now then, let’s get this show on the road, to use the vernacular. But since you’re feeling a little shy- Aoshi- *gives her the look of DEATH while bringing his kodachi into view* Deena- *gulping* Did I say shy? Ha ha, little mistake on my behalf. What I meant was…um …taciturn. Yes, because you are so taciturn, in a good way of course, I’ll start by reading off some of your stats and if there are any mistakes then you can correct me. Got it? Aoshi-........ Deena- And then, after you’ve verified that all your personal information is certifiable, we can begin with the questions. Good idea, ne? Aoshi-........ Deena- *sighing* Okay then. Moving right along. All your personal info has been graciously provided by Misao so there isn’t any reason why this stuff should be incorrect. Afterall, she knows you quite well, if you know what I mean. Heh heh heh. Aoshi- *not amused*........ Deena- Okayyyyyy, let’s start the fun. *takes out a paper from her trenchcoat and briefly skims it, noting that Misao had written comments in pink ink beside all of Aoshi’s stats* What the...? *muttering* To hell with this. I’m not about to read all this mushy crap aloud. Aoshi&Misao Fanfic Mailing list- Why you stupid 0=*+^>#|@!