Date: Mon, 23 Aug 1999 14:27:35 -0400
From: The Fox <bgalv001@xxxxxx.xxxx.xxx
Subject: Re: Rkscreenscrews (fic)

Welcome to Fox's Lady entertaimment Television!!!
RK Channel!!
Today we will take a look in the filmation of Fox sh...fics.We will 
talk with actors, the director Fox , his assistents Xellos and Shiryu 
Kido , and the cameramen Kurama and Kaede . Here we go!!
Behind the Scenes with Fox's works!!!
When the cast messed up scenes...This is some screws ups by the Rk 
cast while me and my friends are trying to film Fox's fics.

From One Million 1
The set : some hill just out Kyoto.
Actors:Misao Makimachi and Soujiroo Seta.
Take one.
 Misao trows her daggers to the plants.
 - AIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!-
Fox: CUT!!! SETA!! You have to say "Ara", no scream !!! the BISHOUNENS
DONT SCREAM  do you hear me ???
Kaede:...Just when you have a ****ing *****ing lemon scene idea.
Fox: You shuddup.
Soujiroo : (teary eyed) But ..she...stabbed me!!!Ow ow ow ow!!!
(sniff) hurts!!!
Yumi :( with a tight white shirt with FLTV in the front and jeans 
shorts rushes to his side ) maa maa...you have to be brave. Or the 
author will replace your role with Yahiko and we don't get paid. Since 
the Juppongatana members arent very solicited for fanfics we have to 
take all the chances,or we don't have money to eat.
All the staff : ....sniff...
Fox: Your a very good actress. I will use you in the 3 part.
Yumi : ( beamed ) thanks!!
Fox : Okay, GO ON!! Misao, stabb him again please.
Misao :Happy!!
Soujiroo:(flees in terror) NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

From One Million 2
The set :Aoiya room.
Actors:Megumi Takani and Aoshi Shinomori.
Take five.
(Megumi enter to the room and says sternly)
Megumi: Gomen nasai.Shinomori-san, please remove all your clothes.
Aoshi:If you do the same...
Fox: CUT!!! AOSHI!!! ENOUGH!!! The lemon is in the third, NO HERE!! 
Stop with your lascivious remarks or your fans will KILL ME!!You have 
to look surprised, dammit!!
Aoshi:Is not fair...just Saitoh Mr Crab Head gets fun...
Xellos:(smile,with a baseball hat with the FLTV in it and his hair in 
a high tail, revising the script)But by the script you kiss her very 
*ahem* passionly at the end, nee?
Aoshi:Big thing. ญญ I want a hot scene, dammit!!
Misao :(in same Yumi's outfit, giving to Aoshi a towel and drink,with 
puppy eyes)Fox-san, will you mind, please...???
Fox (thinks . Then she smiles wide and sends a note to his assistant
Shiryu and nods happily to Misao and Aoshi) Okay. But ends this scene
before 5 and we can begins to plan a good lemon.
Shiryu: (reads the note . Y-A-O-I.)

From One Million 3
The set :Mount Hiei twinligth corridor.
Actors:Yumi Komagata and Hajime Saitoh 
Take five
(Yumi kneeled in the floor, Saitoh leaning over her )
Saitoh:But surely he isn't a good ***r with that 15 limit thing.
(Yumi rise her hand for scratch him, but Saitoh catch her arms and 
with a swift movement twist it with enough force to make her scream in 
pain. Then toss her to the floor again,barely moving a muscle of his 
straigth face.)
Yumi :Awch!! My make-up!!
Fox:CUT!! YUMI!!!
Saitoh: Oh for crying out loud...
Yumi:He did ruins my lipstick!!I have all the cheek green, I looks 
like a martian!!
Tokio:(*laughing offscreen*)Koi-Bi-To. Stops that . Is the moment when 
you must unbotton your shirt.
Saitoh:(In terror)Tokio is here?? TOKIO IS HERE??? I'M A DEAD MAN!!!! 
FOX, I REFUSE TO FILM THIS!!!
Tokio:(chuckles)Don't make the writer angry dear. We have a hot lemon 
in the way. So just act well and dont dissapoint her.
Yumi: Can we back to the matter of hand , Mibu's Puppy?
(Tokio,Yumi and Fox laughs hard)
Saitoh:...aku women...

From a Blanket Scenario: Your Most Dreamed Man
The set : A cabin in the snow
Actors:Kaoru Kamiya and Sanosuke Sagara
Take one:
Sano:AAARGHHH!!! No ! No way! This floor is freezing,I will not put my
bare ass in here just for babysit Jo-chan!!
Take six:
(Sano naked with a sleepy Kaoru naked in his arms, the two under a 
blanket)
Kaoru : Kenshin...
Sano:O-y-y-a-su--mi-nn-nsa-na-ss-s-s-ai.....brrrr....IM FREEZING 
DAMMIT!!!
Fox:CUT!!
Take twenty-one:
Kaoru:ken..shin..
Sano:Oyasuminasai de gozaru...
Fox:CUT!!!
Kaede: (replaces camera and sighs)
Xellos : Another blanket!!
Sano: WHAT!! What is wrong NOW???
Fox:The blanket haves a hole. And it showing to the camera your...
ahem...
Sano:Shit!!(tries to cover himself , discovering Kaoru's body. She 
slaps him and then figths for the blanket)
Fox: Oh god...

From episode 1 reactions.
The set : A cinema
Actors:YYH,SS,EVA,RK,SD and GW cast.
Take one:
Yumi:........Shishio-sama, be careful with that popcorn...(a popcorn 
box flies to behind)oh well......
Kenshin: ITAI THE GOZARU!!!
Yahiko:Good! more popcorn!!
Fox: CUT!! Shishio you did it in purpouse!!
Take six:
Botan:Koenma -sama,do you want more popcorn?
(Koenma baby eats a bit and then begins to puke over Botan, Kaoru and 
Rei)
Fox: CUT!
Botan, Kaoru and Rei:AWWWW!!! Poah!! Nasty brat!!!
Kenshin:(Looks at the popcorn)WHO DID WET THE POPCORN WITH GLUE!!!??
Saitoh: Sorry . This is the box I throw to the floor in mt part with
Tokio.I guessed must be easiest if the damn thing don't fall.
(mutters) I hate popcorn.
Shiryu: CLEANERS!!
Xellos:Wardrobe for these four, please.(grins)

From A Fox Between Wolves 1(Miburo's pack)
The set : Saitoh's home porch.
Actors:Tokio Saitoh, Seta Ginny and Takashi Shirakawa.
Take five:
Ginny:I'm surprised Kinsai-san decides to attack Saitoh-san. After 
all, he knows Saitoh-san will show no mercy to him.
Tokio: My husband's tolerance to unfaithfuls is...rather limitated.
(grins) But sure he is good when he lost his patience...
Fox:CUT!!! Tokio, Your lines are : "My husband's tolerance to traitors
is...rather limitated. But I still don't know why he was worried about 
me and Ginny...more than the usual."So SAY IT!!
Tokio: Sorry . I'd can't resist. 
Take six:
Ginny:I'm surprised Kinsai-san decides to attack Saitoh-san. After all,
he knows Saitoh-san will show no mercy to him.
Tokio: My husband's tolerance to traitors...rather limitated. But I 
still don't know why he was worried about me and Ginny...more than the
usual...well, at least he is worried this time the bastard...
Fox: CUT!. TOKIIIIOOOO!!!
Tokio: oops. Seems I did it again.
Take nine:
Ginny:I'm surprised Kinsai-san decides to attack Saitoh-san. After all,
he knows Saitoh-san will show no mercy to him.
Tokio: My husband's tolerance to traitors...rather limitated. But I 
still don't know why he was worried about me and Ginny...more than the 
usual...(Saitoh jumps from the offscreen , take Tokio in his arms and 
ran out)
Tokio: I didn't do nothing!
Fox: CUT! Saitoh what are you DOING?!
Saitoh: Lemon Time!!! lemon time!!! you promised!!
Fox:Is AFTER the videofics.(sigh)Take ten...

From A Fox Between Wolves 2( Miburo's Pack)
The set : Saitoh's home porch.
Actors:Tokio Saitoh, Seta Ginny,Saitoh Hajime and Takashi Shirakawa.
Take eigth
Tokio:Koibito...(serves soba)I don't need protection but I will enjoy 
the company anyway. Just be sure of be careful.
Saitoh:Don't worry about me, koibito. I almost have the desire that 
loser tries something.(Saitoh chuckles and gag when the soba takes the 
wrong way.)
Saitoh:Tasukete!!! I'm drowning!!!
(The entire cast runs over till Sanosuke manages to make him spits 
the soba)
Saitoh:....geezz...thanks...
Fox:Oh my god...CUT!!!
Tokio: I'd told you not to do your "maniac grinns" when your eating 
koibito.
Saitoh: shuuddup Tokio.
Xellos:Another bowl of soba...and another police uniform!
Fox.:Take nine...!!

From 10 years after 1
The set : Aoiya dinner room.
Actors:All the Rk cast and the special young guest stars featuring the 
RK offspring.
Kenshin: Soujiroo-dono...
Soujiroo: Himura-san...
(they tripped one in other and falls miserably...)
Kenshin: Oro!!@xxx..
Soujiroo: OHHH SHIT!!!!(wails)
Fox: CUT!!! SOUJIROO YOU MUST SAY" Ara!!@xxx...xxxx
Soujiroo: (teary eyed) But hurts!! He broken my anckle!!!
Fox:Dammn spoiled brat...SHISHIO YOU RAISED THAT BOY NEE? So make him 
stops whining and WORK!

From RK Music Videos : Crazy
The set : Shishio's HQ.
Actors:Shishio, Yumi and some extras being massacred.
Take one
Music:I go crazy,crazy,crazy,baby,I go crazy
(Yumi watches him practicing with some poor bastards in a room of the 
Mount Hiei's headquarters. The flames rose devouring the corpses, and 
Shishio allowed him give a brief look of amused triumph to her woman, 
who cheers and laugh happy)
(The camera suddenly becomes static in Yumi's cleavage)
Fox: CUT!!! KURAMA!!!
Kurama:(behind camera) Sorry I'd cant resist...the flames sight put me 
****y.

From RK Music Videos :Lady
The set : Shishio's HQ.
Actors:Shishio, Yumi, Hoji, Aoshi, Saitoh, and Kenshin half-massacred.
Kaoru waiting to make her entrance.
Take three
(Sanosuke's yells and Aoshi's and Saitoh's voices,the triumphants mad
laughs of Shishio, Hoji's hysterics praises,are clearly heared over the
music start)
Fox: CUT!!! You remain SHUT when the music starts!!! Hoji Shuddup!!
Hoji:Ok....
Take four:
(Sanosuke's yells and Aoshi's and Saitoh's voices,the triumphants mad
laughs of Shishio, Hoji's hysterics praises, all goes silent all of 
sudden)
Music starts:
Music: Don't talk just kiss...
Fox: CUT!!WHO DID CHANGED THE *****ING CASSETTE????
Hoji:(burst in laughing with Saitoh and Aoshi)
Kenshin:WILL YOU MIND ACT AS GROWN UPS THE GOZARU!!! ( sneeze) I'm 
tired of be sitted in red paint.I'm catching a cold, do you know.
Aoshi, Saitoh and Hoji:(singing)Let's fool around ...Let's fool around 
...
Fox:(sighs)TAKE FIVE!!!!

From RK Music Videos :La Vida Loca
The set: Saitoh's home.
The actors:Hajime & Tokio Saitoh.
Take one
Saitoh:So the Juppon Gatana will go to dance tonight...is better watch 
it for the sake of the country. Tokyo?
Tokyo:(sewing peacefully)Yes anaAWWW!!! ****ing *** piece of ***ing
****!!!! AWCH AWCH !!!!ญญญ I HATE SEW!!!
Saitoh:( Burst laughing)
Fox: CUT!!!
Xellos:(blowing the injured finger) Still hurts?
Tokyo:(sniffling) Yes...

The set:Aoiya's garden
The actors:Aoshi Shinomori and Misao Makimachi.
Take ten.
(Aoshi sitted peacefully sipping tea.Misao in his side smiling )
Aoshi:....
Misao:Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda 
Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Aoshi-sama Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda 
Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda 
Yadda Aoshi-sama Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda 
Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Aoshi-sama*cough**choke*Aw 
God... 
Aoshi:Misao.Youre so pretty.C'on here for a good ***g.
Misao: Happy!!!
Fox:CUT!!! AOSHI IS ENOUGH!!!ONE MORE ***ING LASCIVIOUS COMMENT AND 
YOURE OUT!!!I ALWAYS CAN CAST KAEDE FOR YOUR ROLE!!!
Kaede:zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzslamdunkzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Aoshi:....I'm BORED....I want a romantic music video....
Misao:Yes!Yes!
Xellos: (Reading script)At the end you will have to dance very sexy.
Aoshi:Crap.
Xellos: but the RK female cast too...
Aoshi:Good! Take ten!!

Take ten.
(Aoshi sitted peacefully sipping tea.Misao in his side smiling )
Aoshi:....
Misao:Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda 
Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Aoshi-sama Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda 
Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda 
Yadda Aoshi-samaAAAAAH!!! (The floor suddenly brokes and the two falls 
straigth to the hole in the wooden floor)
Aoshi:(from the hole)WHO *** DID ***FUTAENOKIWAMIED the floor!!!!
Fox:CUT!!!!
Aoshi:(Eyes Sano offset, who is laughing hysterically shoulder in 
shoulder with Katsu) And I know who was the ******ing baka!!! 
(disfounds kodachis and run offstage behind the old Sekihou-tai 
members . The entire cast howls with laughter, Shishio and Saitoh 
clapping)
Sano:(backstage) ... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!(runs)
Take twenty two.
(Aoshi sitted peacefully sipping tea.Misao in his side smiling )
Aoshi:....
Misao:Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda 
Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Aoshi-sama Yadda Yadda Yadda 
Aoshi:Ok I've had enough.(abruptly leans over Misao, pinned her to the
floor and starts kissing her like a lion)
Fox: Cut!  AOSHI!!!!
The Cast: *offstage, laughing hysterically, wolf-whistles*
Misao:******mmmmhfffSOUJIROO, TASUKETE!!!!!

The set:Akabeko
The actors::Hajime & Tokio Saitoh.
Take two.
(Saitoh raise and put his hat in the table with his katana. Then he 
begins to walk to the dance floor but Tokio stops him,and take off his 
jacket)
Fox:CUT!!! SAITOH PUT ON A DAMMNED SHIRT!!!
Saitoh:Why?
The female Rkcast:Yes, WHY?????
Tokio & the male Rkcast:BECAUSE IS INDECENT!!!!!(AND IT'S *MY* 
PROPIETY!!!)
Yumi:....that arms...(giggles)
Kaoru:...that golden eyes...(sighs)
Misao:...his smile....(chuckles)
Fox:....his teeths...I like that fangs...(droollll)
Megumi:...his voice...(foxish grin)
Tomoe:...I like the way he discards his jacket...(giggles)I'm forward 
for see him discard his pants too...
Tokio: ENOUGH. aku ****y women...HE IS MINE!!!
Hiko : sick women. I don't know what they saw in Mr Policeman and not 
in me (straight genious pose)I'm waiting for my fic, Fox.
Fox: Wait with a pillow.
Entire male RK cast :Hmm-mm.( glances)

The set:Akabeko
The actors:Yumi Komagata and Shishio Makoto.
Take three.
(Yumi kisses loosely Shishio and holding his neck let him slowly raise 
his skirts)
Yumi: Shishio-sama are you...AAAHHH!!!!FIRE!!! FIRE!!!
Shishio:(steaming)Oh God!!
Fox:CUT!!!!
Xellos: WATER!!! ICE!!! NOW!!!
(All the cast and guest rans to throw water to the burning Shishio, 
who was steaming blood by now. Meanwhile Shiryu attends Yumi's burns.)
Yumi:*in state of near hysterics*  I am NOT paid for be burned for a 
cryspy critter!!!!!!
Kurama:(grinning behind the camera)Is sexy when you're used to it, 
dear. I can say it to you from first hand...and other things... 
experience.
Kenshin:heheheheheh....This is a hot scene de gozaru yo.(Aoshi bursts 
into laughter.)

The set:Akabeko
The actors:Aoshi Shinomori and Misao Makimachi.
Take forty-two.
Misao:Hi all!!! Sorry but we're here to dance. Aoshi-sama, I want you 
take off your coat.(Aoshi obeys) 
(a choir of whistles are heard from background)
Fox: CUT!!!! MEGUMI ENOUGH!!!
Megumi: ....sorry....ohohohohoh....
Fox:Take forty-three
Misao:Hi all!!! Sorry but we're here to dance. Aoshi-sama, I want you 
take off your coat.(Aoshi obeys) Then , open your shirt.Good. (Aoshi 
obeys) And now I want sho shee you danching crazhily witsh...I CAN'T!!!
!! ( Misao runs off screen with a handkerchief in her mouth)
Fox:CUT!!!
Kenshin:Kaoru-dono, I'm afraid Misao will dehydrated herself with so 
much drool.(giggles)
Kaoru:(drooling over Aoshi)
Sano:oh crap she too....

From RK Music Videos :Opposittes Atracct
The set:Stairs of the Kamiya Dojo's porch
The actors:Kaoru Kamiya and Kenshin Himura
Take four.
(starts music)
(the camera shows from behind Kaoru jumping over Kenshin very close.
Kenshin tripps, but he falls over her instead in his back, knocking 
the camera and the cameraman too)
Who'd though
we could be lovers
Fox: CUT!! CUT MUSIC!!!
Kenshin: Oroooo.....
kaoru: Kenshin no baka!!!!
Aoshi : And he haves the God's speed they say.
Soujiroo: Hey!!!
Saitoh: He is fast. He doesnt have brains, this is the point . 
(smokes)
Xellos:(HOWLS) IT FORBIDDEN SMOKE IN THE SET!!!!
Saitoh: Crap.

From RK Music Videos :Scream
The set:Tokyo'streets.
The actors:Saitoh Hajime and Kenshin Himura
Take two.
(starts music)
You're sellin' out souls but
I care about mine
 (Kenshin looks a lonely Saitoh to the eyes over the enormous buch of 
people in the street , and turn back as Saitoh smiles in his Mibu 
mood rigth to collide with a western man.)
Kenshin: Orooo.....suminasen nasai de gozaru.
The man:It's ok. But be more careful samurai -boy.
Kenshin: ( looks at camera silly) BOY?????.
Fox:CUT!!!!THIS IS PART OF the MOVIE script!!!! KENSHIN YOU HAVE THE 
WRONG SCRIPT BAKA!!!!
Kenshin: Orooo.....sorry de gozaru....but someone gave it to me this...
.
Misao:(giggling with Aoshi offscreen who is undressing of the western 
costume)
Saitoh: We can hurry up people?? I HATE this music!!!
Tokio:(with the audiophones of the audio edition station)Is just he is
anxious for the next fic.

From Saitoh's Day Off
The set:Saitoh's room.
The actors:Hajime & Tokio Saitoh.
Take one.
(The two of them under the covers , nested peacefully . Saitoh grins 
and say his line, and then kiss her. The kiss was soft and hungry , 
still very kind . The arms of Tokio caress the tense back of her 
husband , the hard muscles , the hair loose over his eyes . With a 
little -hmm-mm- of satisfaction , Saitoh searchs under the covers 
and...) RIIPPPP.
FOX: CUT!!!
Tokio:Oh dear...seems you rip my sleep kimono *again* koibito.
Saitoh:(throw the remains to the floor) I'll buy you a new one (keep
kissing her)
Fox: I SAID CUT!!! 
Xellos: Wardrobe!!!
Take two.
(The arms of Tokio caress the tense back of her husband , the hard 
muscles, the hair loose over his eyes . With a little -hmm-mm- of 
satisfaction ,Saitoh searchs under the covers and lifted a hand with 
his prize, the light green kimono. He sends it flying and the camera 
screen suddenly goes green.)
Kaede:...ahou.
Fox: CUT!!! Saitoh check where are you throwing that kimono!!!
Xellos:(givind the piece of cloth to Tokio)Take three.

And these are my favorites screenscrews!!!!Hope you enjoy it. They're 
a difficult cast....(sigh)Thanks to the GWML for the idea!!!!

                 OWARI!!!!
                 The Fox-August 1999