Subj: [KFFDISC] [Parody] Kenshin Horror - Part 5 Date: 4/26/00 12:29:27 PM Pacific Daylight Time From: vampireanneke@yahoo.com (Cynthia Delker) Today is my birthday. :) You can guess how old I am... I would be surprised by the guesses. Anyways. The following is part 5 of Kenshin Horror. What's really scary is there is an overal plot to the whole thing, strange as that is. Do I know where it's all going to end? HECK NO! So injoy. Oh this section does have spoilers for the Jinchu Arc, and the OAVs. Title: Kenshin Horror! Author: Anneke-chan Spoilers: I don't know, but most likely for all the Manga and Anime. Type: Comedy/Cross Over/Parody … INSANITY! Disclaimer: Sorry, I had to do this. Sorry you have to read this. Have fun. (Perenthesis show action that occurs on the stage. There won't be to much.) {Brackets are lines the audience would yell} The rest is the characters talking. Frank - Kenshin, Columbia - Misao, Brad - Yahiko, Janet - Kaoru, Magenta - Megumi, Riff Raff - Sanosuke, Crim - Aoshi, Lips - Tomoe Part 5 - An experiment gone horribly wrong. Sword of Damocles (Brad and Janet are given towels) Janet Thank you. Brad Thank you very much. (Columbia/Megumi and Riff Raff/Sano start to undress Brad/Yahiko and Janet/Kaoru) Janet Oh! Creep! (Kaoru hits at Sano as he removes her clothes!) Brad It's all right Ugly. (Yahiko is blushing as Megumi undresses him.) We'll play along for now, she is a skilled doctor after all. (Misao grins at Yahiko) Columbia/Misao: Slowly, slowly! It's too nice a job to rush. (Yahiko blushes more) Brad: Hi, my name is Yahiko, and this is my Sensei, Kaoru Ugly. You are... Columbia You're very lucky to be invited to Kenshin's fighting arena. Some people would give their right arm for the privilege. Brad People like you maybe? {Or Kujiranami Hyougo perhaps?} Columbia Ha! I've seen it. { echo "And I don't do laundry!" } {But Kenshin does!, White, Clean and White!} Riff Raff Come along - the battousai doesn't like to be kept waiting. Janet Is he - Kenshin, I mean - your husband? Riff Raff The Kenshin is not currently married, nor do I think he ever shall be. { For very long atleast. He keeps killing his wives!} We are simply his students. Janet Oh. (Kenshin currently doesn't have amber eyes, but does have a serious face and his hair in a high ponytail.) Frank Megumi, Misao, go assist Sano. I will entertain... Brad: Yahiko Myojin. {echo "chan"} And this is my sensei, Kaoru Ugly. (Kaoru glares at Yahiko) Janet: Kaoru Kamiya Brad Kamiya? um Frank (Said in a sex voice): Orooo. (Kaoru giggles) Frank: Well! How nice. And what charming underclothes you both have. But here. Put these on. (Kenshin hands them gis.) They'll make you feel less vulnerable It's not often we receive visitors here, let alone offer them... hospitality Brad Hospitality?! All we asked was to use your telephone, Goddammit, (Kaoru hits him over the head with a shinai). Owww… Janet: Brat, don't curse. Brad: Ugly! (Yahiko takes out his shinai and starts to attack Kaoru.) Frank How talented you are, Brat. (Yahiko grrrs at being called Brat by Kenshin.) Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So... {Talented! NOT!} You must be awfully proud of him, Kaoru-dono. (Kaoru blushes at being called Kaoru-dono.) Janet: Well, yes I am. (giggles) { "Thought so" } Frank Do you have any interesting scars, Brat? {Like a cross shaped one on your cheek?!} Brad Certainly not! Frank Oh well, how about you? (to Kaoru) {Show him! Show him!} Janet No. (giggling) Riff Raff: Everything is in readiness, master. We merely await your (pause) {Eyes to change color!} word. (Kenshin spills sake on Sano) { "That was my new suit ! That was my only suit !} Frank Tonight, my untalented martial artists... { "Hey, that's US!" } you are to witness a new breakthrough in martial arts research... and paradise is to be mine... {Will Tomoe be there?} It was strange the way it happened... suddenly you break... whole pieces start to fall apart, not a sign of being... what a baka! { "fool with me" } The answer was there all the time {"What was the question?"} it took a small accident to make it happen... {You mean like killing Tomoe?} AN ACCIDENT! Magenta & Columbia An accident! {Repeat it enough times, we may believe you.} Frank And that's how I discovered the secret, that elusive ingredient that spark. that is the breath of life... Yes, I have that knowledge... I hold to life... to life... itself! You see... you are fortunate for tonight is the night that I test my conclusions, and my ultimate rival is destined to be born! Up now! (Misao and Megumi lift off a tarp to show a red tank with a man Wrapped up in bandages.) Throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator... and step up the reactor power three more points! Janet Oh No! Brad It's all right Kaoru. (colorful fluids, etc. in the order Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet) {Discribe a picture of Kenshin.} { "Red Blood, Orange hair, Yellow eyes, Green grass, Blue sky, more blue sky, Purple eyes" } (Rocky emits some guttural garbage) Frank Oh! Rocky! { "No! SHISHIO!" } (Yes, to our horror the creature in bandages is Shishio, risen from the dead?) The Sword of Nagaso Nekotetsu Rocky The sword of Nagaso Nekotetsu is hanging over my head, { "Breathe!" } And I've got the feeling that someone's gonna be cutting off a head. (Shishio turns to Frank/Kenshin, sword drawn. It the Nagaso Nekotetsu that was once used by Soujirou that broke the first reverse blade, but was almost shattered itself, however now it's back in one piece, and looks even stronger.) Oh, woe is me, my life is a misery. Oh, can't you see, that I'm at the start of a pretty big revenge plot. I woke up this morning with a start when I fell out of hell. All That ain't no crime. {But he left Yumi. Yummy yummy!} Rocky And left from my dreaming was a feeling of unnameable dread. All That ain't no crime. Rocky My high is low, I'm dressed up with no place to go. (Misao and Megumi look as if they are going to remove Shishio's bandages, but shake their heads and walk away.) And all I know is I'm at the start of a pretty big revenge plot. (Shishio leaps at Kenshin, and they start to sword fight. The on lookers dance. Yes they dance. Kenshin eyes turn back to amber again.) All Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime. Rocky Oh ho no no All Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime. Rocky Oh ho no no All Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime. Rocky Oh ho no no (They continue to fight, Shishio now mocks Kenshin.) The sword of Nagaso Nekotetsu is hanging over my head. All That ain't no crime. (Shishio pins Kenshin to a wall.) Rocky And I've got the feeling that someone's gonna be cutting off a head. (Shishio is ready to cut off Kenshin's head.) All Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime. (Kenshin blocks and gets out of grip.) Rocky Oh no no no All Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime. Rocky Oh no no no All Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime. Rocky Oh no no no (repeat until end -- Sha-la-la) All Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la. (They fight through the whole above scene all over the lab. They finally stop both exhausted and breathing hard.) Frank Well really. { "Yes, really" } That's no way to behave on your first day out. {Of Hell!} Rocky: Ugh Ugh Frank But since you're such an exceptional beauty, {Put your contacts in Kenshin} I am prepared to forgive you. (Kenshin's eyes return to be violet.) Rocky Ugh Ugh End part 5... The next part... Is... Well Part 6. vampireanneke@yahoomail.com __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Send online invitations with Yahoo! Invites. http://invites.yahoo.com