(thinking) Something's not right here... I can feel it in my gut... It's like.... Drat! I can't put my finger on it!
(thinking) <sigh> Well, at least I won't have to deal with rain today... But it's gotta be something. I wouldn't be feeling like this unless... Hey, that's it!
Ranma, you dummy, what are you doing? Do you want to make us even more late than we are already? Don't just stand there, come on!
Yo, Akane, have you... I mean, do you know... uh...
What *is* it, Ranma? I don't want to end up holding buckets all day, so let's move it.
Hey, look, it's no big deal, I was just gonna ask you if you'd seen Shampoo around lately.
WHAT?!
(thinking) uh oh.
Hey, uh... chill, Akane. It's not like I want to see Shampoo or anything. It's just that... Don't you think it's odd that she hasn't slammed my face into the fence with her bike the past few mornings? I mean, haven't you noticed that she's been kinda scarce lately?
Whaddja do THAT for?!
Of course I noticed, you stupid pervert! I thought you might be relieved that Shampoo hasn't been around glomping on to you all this past week, but if you miss her that much, why don't you go FIND her?!
Stupid girl! Stupid uncute tomboy. Did I say I wanted to find Shampoo? I was just pointing out that she hasn't been around lately. Maybe she's gone back to China... Naw, my luck's never *that* good...
(thinking) It's just that I think Shampoo's up to something. It's not like her to up and disappear like this, or leave without saying goodbye...
She's up to something, I'm sure of it.
That idiot! Of course he would have to bring up Shampoo. It's been so nice not having her around hanging on Ranma all of the time, but I guess he just can't stand the thought of losing one of his CUTE fiancees! And then he has to go rub it in! That womanizing JERK! (softening) But maybe... maybe I'm jumping to conclusions. This whole morning has felt kind of strange... almost like... like something bad is going to happen... (pause) Oh, that's just silly. As if Ranma being his usual insensitive self is out of the ordinary! Hmph! He and that Chinese bimbo belong together! (pause) I wonder where Shampoo is, anyway?
(thinking) Almost there. Aiya, this cave is so dark... I can't see a thing. (hisses softly in pain) I can't believe I made it past all those terrible monsters. If it hadn't been for great-grandmother's wards, I don't think I would have... (She gasps, and stops suddenly.)
(thinking, fearfully) It's... it's here. I... I can't be afraid now, not after coming all this way... (With forced confidence) I have come, Ancient One. I have defeated your demon guardians. I demand that you come and face me!
Face me, dragon! I require something of you.
Go away, girl-child, before I eat you.
I will not leave, and you will not eat me. I have passed your guardians. I have found your lair. Now you will give me what I require.
(thinking) Aiya... Have I come all this way and done all this work only to be eaten? But no... the scroll says that if I follow this ritual, he has to help me...
What is it you require?
<sigh> I require a small amount of your blood, Ancient One.
You are willing to pay the price?
I have fought for the privilege of paying the price, Ancient One.
Very well. Extend your arm.
(thinking) Aiya! My arm... bleeding...
Enough. That will do.
(thinking) The wound... It... healed?
You have paid the price. Now take your reward, sorceress, and go.
(thinking) Dragon's blood. (speaking) Now, Ranma. Now you see I love you more than Akane love you. Soon Akane gone for good, and you come to me. Then we married forever.
Gah. Somebody must be talking about us.
<scoff> I can't imagine why.
And what is *that* supposed to mean?
<sigh> I was being sarcastic, you dope. It's probably the teachers talking about how we were late yet once again. We'll be lucky if Hinako-sensei doesn't show up with her 5 yen piece in a few minutes.
Gah! You don't think she'd try *that,* do you? Just for being late? I mean, we're already holding these stupid buckets of water.
Oh, I don't know. I've heard she's been cracking down on even the most minor offenses, like chewing gum in class, or talking out of turn. I'm sure showing up to school five minutes late, or ten minutes late in your case--
Hey, I had to find some hot water, no thanks to you--
(continuing unscathed) Anyway, it will be more than enough to bring Hinako-sensei down on us both. I wonder what Daddy will do when he sees me all drained of ki and finds out that it was all your fault.
(thinking) Urk! Aw man, that's all I need. The old man coming down on me with that Demon-Head Ki attack.
(thinking) Man, why can't I shake this weird feeling? It's creeping me out!
(thinking) That's odd. He's not responding to me like he usually would. He usually gets all flustered and angry, but... he's just looking at the floor...
Ranma?
Hm?
What's wrong with you?
Nothin'. (pause) At least nothing you'd listen to.
Ranma, you *idiot!*
Jeeze, Akane, whaddja do that for? I didn't do nothin', you psycho macho chick!
(almost crying) Forget it.
What the... What's wrong? You're not gonna cry, are you? Jeeze, whaddi do?
Ranma, you jerk, it figures that you're too stupid to know what an insensitive creep you are! And to think I was worried about you!
(thinking) She was... worried? About me?
(thinking) Why did I do that? It's not like he really insulted me or anything. He just said I wouldn't listen, and then I go and prove his point right there! What's wrong with me
today?
(thinking) It's been like this all morning. Maybe I've just got a bad case of nerves. <sigh> Well, he probably had it coming for something.
Well, great-grandchild, it appears you have succeeded. I must admit, I had my doubts that you would return from the mountain. You are one of very few who have managed to reach the Ancient One.
Shampoo do anything for Ranma.
Not just yet, child. Drink this first. It will make you feel better.
Thank you, great-grandmother... Where is...?
Here it is, child. I've kept the dragons blood safe for you while you recovered.
(sigh of relief) You no take any while I sleep?
What do you take me for, child? I still question the wisdom of you dabbling with such dark power. Anything bought with a blood-price is not only dangerous, but often leads to grief.
What you mean? This whole thing your idea in first place. You say this work for sure.
Dragon blood ensures the success of any spell.
Good! Nothing else work. We try everything, and still Ranma no leave violent pervert-girl, Akane.
That's the point exactly, Shampoo. Just think. Nearly a year ago, you gave Akane the Kiss of Death. If you had followed through on that, instead of letting compassion soften your warrior's heart, we would not be here now, reduced to meddling with dark magics to snare son-in-law.
Is not that simple. No can kill Akane. No can kill then, no can kill now. You know this, great-grandmother. I kill Akane, Ranma get angry and no spell strong enough to bind Ranma to me. He stubborn man, he fight it to his death.
True enough. Son-in-law is rather... strong-willed, to say the least.
Is part what make him strong man. This spell... it no make Ranma slave, yes? Shampoo want Ranma with free mind.
The parameters of the spell are very clear. No mind control is involved, unless you desire it. The spell is designed to alter circumstance in favor of the caster according to the instructions given. You must think on this carefully before you begin, or the spell could have disastrous effects.
No worry, great-grandmother. Shampoo know exactly what instruction to give.
Then I suppose there is nothing to keep us from continuing. However...
However?
Are you absolutely certain you want to do this, great-granddaughter? You have trifled with Son-in-law for a year now, trying to win his heart. Until this moment, you have not caused him, or those around him, any lasting harm. If you cast this blood spell, all of that will change. Permanent harm will be done, and there will be no going back -- for either of us. Casting the blood spell will commit us irrevocably from our course. We both will be utterly bound by Amazon law and honor. There will be no mercy, no fun and games, and no harmless, friendly rivalries afterwards. The blood spell is the point of no return.
You tell me this before. I know this.
So, I ask you one final time. Are you absolutely certain that you want to cast the blood spell?
I certain, great-grandmother.
(sigh) Shall we begin, then?
(thinking) The Nekohanten is... closed? That means Shampoo is really gone. The old ghoul too... If only I could get a better look-- Hey, Mousse is in there!
(thinking) Wow, he looks totally bummed. Hmmm...
Hey Mousse! Hey, let me in, I wanna ask you something.
Ranma? Is that you? How dare you come here looking for my darling Shampoo!
Aw man, I'm not looking for Shampoo! I just wanted to ask you where... Aw, man!
Saotome, prepare to die!
(thinking) Why is nothing ever easy? Oh well. I gotta remember to keep him conscious, or he can't answer my questions.
You dishonorable cur! How dare you take this battle so lightly?
Come on, Mousse, I just wanna know where Sha... uhh... where the old ghoul went.
Arrghhhh! It's not enough that you have three other fiancees, you must come searching for my one true love as well?! You'll pay for your insolence, you enemy of women!
Hey, I'm not engaged to no one, duck-boy! None of this mess was my idea!
What do you mean, you're not engaged to... Does this mean you're really not here to claim Shampoo?
Of course not! I just had this weird feeling all day that something bad was gonna happen, that's all, and I think Shampoo might have something to do with it.
What makes you say that?
I dunno, just a feeling.
Well that's strange, because I've had the same feeling too.
Uhh.... Really? Boy, that's a relief! I thought I must be going nuts or something.
You are nuts, Saotome. But not about this. Know now that the only reason you're still standing is because I think we have a common concern. When Shampoo and Cologne left, they absolutely refused to let me go with them
Hmph. That's never stopped you before. Why didn't you just follow them?
That's none of your concern. The point is, I have no idea where they went, but they were up to something. Actually, when you pounded on the window, I thought Shampoo'd finally managed to get that passion spice to work on you.
No way, man. I would rather eat Akane's cooking... uh, well... er, maybe not, but I would rather eat anything else than trust something Shampoo tried to feed me. Believe me, Mousse, if I had my way, Shampoo would be all yours.
(thinking) I'd hit you, Saotome, but you'd probably just knock me into the wall again. How could you possibly know how it feels to be spurned by the woman you love? Hmph. You don't even know the meaning of the word love.
So, uh, what are we gonna do about it?
Hello, Mousse. How's business?
Oh, the postman... Well, we're closed at the moment. Shampoo and Cologne are... out of town, and I can't run the place by myself.
Ah. That explains the postcard, then. See you later!
Postcard?
Aha!
What does it say?
It's addressed to me! And it's from my darling Shampoo! They're in China!
China? What are they doing there? What does it say?
Dear Mousse, Sorry about the sleeping powder in the ramen--
<smirking> Sleeping powder, eh?
Shut up, Saotome. Anyway,
Great-grandmother and I are on a training mission in China, where she is teaching me some special Amazon techniques as part of my training to become tribe matriarch. These techniques are for women only, so we couldn't have you following us. We will be back on Tuesday, so have the restaurant ready to open by then.
That's it?
(tightly) Yes, of course.
(thinking voice) P.S. Give my love to Ranma! <kissing sound>
(thinking) <miserable groan>
Well, if they're just on a training mission, I guess we're worrying about nothing, eh? I mean, how much trouble can they cause us in China?
(sullenly) Not much. It's what they bring back from China that we should worry about.
Uh... Well, they're not going to be back for another four days, so I guess we don't have to worry about it until then.
I guess. Look, Ranma, I've got to get back to work. I have to get the restaurant ready to open by next Tuesday.
(thinking) Why do I get the feeling that everyone is running away from me?
There. The circle is ready. Are you prepared, Shampoo?
Yes, great-grandmother.
Remember, you must pour the dragon blood precicely on that circle. When the circle is complete, the power will be released, and you must begin the spell immediately. Otherwise, the magic may become wild and uncontrollable. I don't even want to image what kind of disasters that would cause.
I be careful.
Very well. You may begin.
Don't stop! Ignore them, keep going!
<small, frightened voice> Aiya...
Almost there...
Now! Shampoo, cast the spell now!
(Yells something that can only barely be heard above the noise of the spell. Heck, she could yell "Your mother wears army boots" for all I care. But I guess it should sound vagely
Chinese.)
(exhausted) I... I do it?
(hoarsely) Yes.
Ranma...