In Between Jobs
by Tom and June Geraci
Disclaimer: We didn't invent Ranma 1/2, DragonBall, Tenchi, Pokemon, Ursei Yatsura, SailorMoon, One Pound Gospel, Neon Genesis Evangelion or any other series that may be implied. We also didn't write "Ranma is Dead", "Long and Winding Road" or "Taming of the Horse". Those belong to Gary Kleppe, Zen, and Vince Seifert.
FADE IN:
MUSIC: THEME MUSIC/BREAKOUT
SOUND: WIND CHIMES
SOUND: RICE PAPER DOOR OPENS
| Soun |
We have another Fanfic Radioplay Production to do? |
| Genma |
That's right, Tendo. This time it's Taming of the Horse. |
| Ukyo |
No! I'd rather do Long and Winding Road. |
| Akane |
No way! "Taming" is my favorite fic! |
| Nabiki |
Tell you what, Ukyo. We'll do Long and Winding Road if Zen ever gets around to finishing it. Right now, we're doing "Taming". |
| Kasumi |
But, um Ranma is Dead. Who's going to play Ranma? |
| Shampoo |
Ai ya! Shampoo almost forget that! |
| Kuno |
Surely we can handle this without that ignorant peasant! |
SOUND: A MALLET HIT
| Akane |
Baka! We can't do this play without him! |
| Ryoga |
What are we gonna do? |
| Nabiki |
Don't worry, we'll just put out an advertisement and hold a casting call. (BEAT) I wonder how much I can charge for people to audition? |
TRANSITION: BIRDS CHIRPING
SOUND: A BUSY STREET, SOUNDS OF PEOPLE AND FOOTSTEPS IN THE BACKGROUND.
| Mousse |
Sorry, Mr. Ikari, we have no more use for you. (BEAT) We'll keep you in mind if something comes up. |
| Hatanaka |
But I'm Kosuku Hatanaka! |
SOUND: KNIFE BEING DRAWN
| Hatanaka |
(GRUMBLING) Back to the unemployment line, I guess. |
TRANSITION: (SFX: MEGAPHONE FEEDBACK)
| Nabiki |
(SFX: using a megaphone.) Tenchi, we're ready for you. |
| Tenchi |
(CLEARS THROAT) Hey, we made it all the way to the library without being challenged, attacked . . . |
| Kodachi |
What a HANDSOME Ranma you will make. Oh ho ho ho ho, I think I like you even better than the original! |
| Tenchi |
Um, er. . . |
| Ayeka |
Come, Lord Tenchi. You shouldn't be associating with these low-lifes. |
SOUND: TENCHI BEING DRAGGED
| Tenchi |
But I really want to do this... |
| Nabiki |
Hmm, who's next. Ataru, are you ready? |
| Ataru |
Yes, but I have a question. |
| Nabiki |
Yes? |
| Ataru |
Are there going to be any physical contact scenes in this play? |
| Ukyo |
Get your hands off me! You want physical contact? HERE! |
SOUND: CLANGING OF UKYO'S SPATULA ON ATARU'S HEAD.
| Ataru |
That's not what I had in mind. Owwww. |
| Nodoka |
Nabiki, dear, I don't want this pervert to play my son. If he was truly my son, I would wish I'd never had him. |
| Nabiki |
Mamoru? |
| Cologne |
Sorry, he took one look at me and got scared off. |
| Kasumi |
Nabiki, perhaps you would be better off with someone who doesn't have a million girls following him around. |
| Nabiki |
Not bad, Sis. Who did you have in mind? |
| Kasumi |
How about Satoshi? |
| Satoshi |
I'm ready. What is someone attacked... |
SOUND: PIKA ZZZT
| Nabiki |
So much for that candidate. |
| Goku |
Um, are auditions still open for this play? |
| Ryoga |
Goku? He would be PERFECT! |
| Kuno |
Goku? Who is he? I find nothing impressive about him. Have at you! |
SOUND: TWO OR THREE PUNCHES
SOUND: A BODY CRASHING INTO A WALL
SOUND: A BODY THUMPING TO A WOODEN FLOOR
| Shampoo |
Ai ya! Even Shampoo know who Goku is! |
| Nabiki |
Kuno-chan, are you okay? |
| Kuno |
[Mumbles something indistinct.] |
| Goku |
Should I start now? |
| Nabiki |
Please. |
| Goku |
Forget your stick, Kuno. Try it my way. Um... I forget the next part. |
SOUND: RICE PAPER DOOR BEING THROWN OPEN
SOUND: FOOTSTEPS
SOUND: SEVERAL GASPS
| Akane |
Ranma, you're alive? |
| Ranma |
It was just a play. I'm not dead. |
| Shampoo |
Good! Now we can go out on date! |
| Ranma |
That was only a PLAY! There IS no date! |
| Shampoo |
Ranma, you no try to get out of that again, or you REALLY be dead! |
| Akane |
RRRRANMA, I'm going to KILL you! |
| Ranma |
Nah, you already did that once, tomboy. |
SOUND: CHAOS/GENERAL MELEE [AD-LIB FIGHT LINES]
NARRATOR: CREDITS (Credits will be added at a later date --ed.)
MUSIC: THEME MUSIC DOWN
| Goku |
I remember my line now! |
| Nabiki |
Never mind, Ranma came back from the dead. |
| Goku |
Oh. In that case, you got something to eat? |
FADE OUT
THE END.
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