Sandra Marie Denise Raymonde Hayden

Born - December 22, 1978
Died - August 13, 1997

A Farewell to a Beloved Friend

I can only begin by saying what anyone would in a situation like this:  I considered Sandi to be a good friend.  I had the honor of watching her grow up from an anxious twelve year old girl to a mature woman who was enjoying post-high school life at the age of eighteen.  She was a very intelligent woman who had her future already laid out and planned before she'd graduated high-school.  She was passionate, and had a belief and an opinion about everything that concerned her.  She took care of her family, working to help keep food on the table and a roof over them all.  She was a woman who had to grow up all too early, and wasn't given a chance to explore the future that she'd envisioned for herself.

She was one of the people that you could look at and say "She's going to go far."  She had a persistent drive to accomplish her goals, and seemed to relish in the challenges presented to her throughout life.  Indeed, she would have achieved a great deal in her life if she'd been given the chance, and I would've looked forward to every turning point in her life.  Every one except this one, which I still can't quite accept.  The tragedy of her death will remain with me for a long time to come.  I only wish I had been able to tell her in person what I say here now.  "I love you, Sandi, and am very proud of you."

She died on August 13, 1997 from injuries sustained in an automobile accident.  Her car was struck broadside by a van which had run a red light and was alleged to have exceeded the speed limit.  She was wearing her seat belt, but it was too violent a collision to be of any help.  She was pronounced brain-dead twenty-four hours after her collision.  Funeral arrangements were handled through the Stoudenmire-Dowling Funeral Home located in Florence, SC.  After a small funeral mass at St. Ann's Catholic Church in Florence, officiated by the Reverend Father Michael Corrigan, the white casket containing her body was laid to rest in Mount Hope Cemetery.

Sandi's death was an awful shock.  Her loss has been a very dark moment in my life, one which I will probably never get over.  That's how profound an effect she had on me.  The old cliche' behaviors that you see in TV shows when someone dies happened to me.  For example, I wished many times that I could have done something to stop what had happened to her, or to reverse time and bring her back.   I felt that I somehow had the wherewithal to stop what had happened, and that I should've done all I could to try (even though I knew that notion was absurd).

However, I am not so self-centered as to believe that I was the only one to suffer her loss.  Indeed, my deepest sympathies go to Lynda Harold, the woman who was both friend and mother to Sandi.   Jean-Louis Hayden, father and provider.  Sean and Pat, brothers who not only have the burden of their own grief, but the additional responsibility of helping their mother to bear up through her terrible ordeal.

I can only hope that Sandi finds the fulfillment in afterlife that she wasn't allowed to achieve while alive.  She will always be a part of me, and I will always be thinking of her. But until she and I meet again, I will content myself by carrying her memory in my heart.