Boot it up
By TydRipper

<Ranma Learns to use a computer>

This is just something I do to kill time, beat writers block and such.
You'll probably find tons of similiar 'shortfics' littered around this
page. Its not meant to be taken seriously, and I know that most 
characters are amazingly OOC...


<Scene opens, Ranma is kneeling in front of a computer>

Ranma: Why do _I_ hafta learn how to use this thing?

Nabiki: Its a good investment. Might make us some money.

Ranma: But why do _I_ hafta learn how?

Nabiki: <shrugs> Might save some damage to the Dojo. I've got a few games 
on it.

Ranma: <Sigh> Okay, how do I start it?

Nabiki: Just boot it up.

Ranma: Like this? <kicks computer tower>

Nabiki: NO! The button on the tower, round, right in the center. (Maybe 
this wasn't such a good idea)

Ranma: OH.. Here we go. Nothings on the screen.

Nabiki: Its a monitor, you have to turn it on too.

Ranma: Oh. This button here?

Nabiki: No, thats the reset button. Turn the monitor on with the button 
thats _ON THE MONITOR_.

Ranma: Oh. Here we go...... Ahh.. Theres something. It's counting up.

Nabiki: That would be the memory test.

Ranma: You mean I hafta remember these numbers? Man, I'm no good at math!

Nabiki:No! The computer is testing itself.

Ranma: Oh. Why, doesn't it have a very good memory?

Nabiki: <sigh> For its price, it better have.

Ranma: Wait.. something else.. Whoa! A Picture. Loading Windows 98.. Theres 
a buncha shades of blue going across the bottom of the scr.. err.. monitor.

Nabiki: Don't worry. its fine.

Ranma: Hey, here we go. Theres a picture of a big cat or something in the 
background, and a buncha little things are showing up.

Nabiki: ITs a mountain lion, and those are icons.

Ranma. Its stopped. ISn't it supposed to do something?

Nabiki: See that little thing by your right hand?

Ranma: <picks up mousepad> This?

Nabiki: No, the thing on top of it.

Ranma: Oh. Ya? What about it.

Nabiki: Move it around.

Ranma: <moving mouse around> Hey, its making that little arrow move!

Nabiki good for you.

Ranma: Now what?

Nabiki: <sigh> click on something.

Ranma: Like what?

Nabiki: Anything. There. Try Email.

Ranma: <Clicks on Email>..... Now what?

Nbiki: Double-click.

Ranma: <Clicks again>.. And?

Nabiki: Do it again, but as fast as you can.

Ranma: KACHUU TENSHIN AMIGURIKEN DOUBLE-CLICK! <Double clicks>... And?

Nabiki: Too fast........

Ranma: <double-clicks> Ahh.. okay, here we go. now what?

NAbiki: Click on 'Read Mail'

Ranma: <Double-clicks>

Nabiki: You only have to click once.

Ranma: Make up yer damn mind! Besides, it worked didn;t it? Anyways, whats 
all this. Found 56 new messages? Nabiki? How many people do you know?

Nabiki: ITs the FFML, They've got tonnes of messages. Mostly spam 
unfortunately.

Ranma: Spam? Uhh.. How does canned meat get on the computer?

Nabiki: NO! Spam as in.. ahh, forget it.

Ranma: Whats the FFML Anyways?

Nabiki: I dont know really. I just joined for the hell of it. Theres this 
one story that seems pretty popular though, its about this guy, who has 
like, three fiances, and is like, half-girl.

Ranma: Really? Boy would I hate to be in his shoes. Its a good thing 
nothing like that happens in real life.

Nabiki: Indeed.

Ukyo: Ranma Honey! I'm here to take you out!

Shampoo: No! Ranma take Shampoo on date!

Akane: RANMA!!!!!

Ranma: Anyways, what else is here?

Nabiki: Try the web.

Ranma: Okay.. Let me guess.. uhh.. 'The Internet'?

Nabiki:Your learning already.

Ranma: <single clicks> ARG! <double-clicks> ahh.. much better.

Nabiki: This is yahoo, just type in what you want to find out about 
in there, and it'll show you.

Ranma: <Types in 'anything goes'>... Hey, heres something. Felicias 
house of anything goes. Should I click on it?

Nabiki: Sure. <smirks waiting for a reaction>

Ranma: Uhh.. Nabiki...

Nabiki: Yes?

Ranma: This is.. uhh..

<Akane walks in the room & sees what Ranma is looking at.>

Akane: RANNNMMMMAAAA!! YOU PERVERT!!!!!

Ryouga: Ranma, What have you done to Akane no---- uhh.. <spurts nosebleed>

Ranma: <covering monitor> I didn't mean it, I mean I thought it was 
something else!

Akane: Ya right! <Smacks him into the ground with a table, walks away>

<Ryoga faints from loss of blood>

Ranma: <closes web browser> Well, that was great. Anything else you 
wanna warn me?

NAbiki: Nope, here.. Try IRC.

Ranma: IRC?

Nabiki: Internet Relay Chat. Click on the icon with all the colours.

Ranma: <clicks> Okay.. Preferred nickname?

Nabiki: Pick a nickname, probably not your real name.

Ranma: Okay.. <Types in MachoMan>... Hmm.. its says 'nick taken'...

Nabiki: Try something nobody else would think of.

Ranma: Okay. <Types in Ranchan>.. There.. access granted.. now what?

Nabiki: Type /join, and the channel of your choice.

Ranma: Channel?

Nabiki: Yes, like #money for instance, might I suggest #anythinggoes?

Ranma: Not after what happened before.

NAbiki: Well, why not try #Kenpo?

Ranma: <Types in /join #kenpo> Hey.. there are a buncha names here.

NAbiki: Yes, you can chat with them.

Ranma: Wait, they're saying something.

<Kenbot> Welcome to #kenpo, Ranchan.

Ranma: So I just reply?

NAbiki: Yup, but--

Ranma: <Already typing>

<Ranchan> Thanks.
<Ranchan> So, I'm guessing people in here practice Kenpo?
<Skidmark> Of course, none of us sit on our asses and type all 
day long.
<MrFist> Give him a break. He talks to the bot, so hes quite 
obivously a newbie.
<Ranchan> Who you calling a newbie??!
<MrFist> Relax, its just what they call people new to the net.
<Skidmark> HAHA
<Ranchan> Oh.
<Skidmark> HAHAHAH! U R SUCH A LAMER!
<Ranchan> GRRRR..YOU WANNA FIGHT? I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!
<Skidmark> Oh, ya.. Whatcha gonna do, lamer? Beat me up?
<Ranchan> DAMN STRAIGHT!
<Skidmark> Two problems.. One is that you have no idea where I am, 
and the other is that... YOUR A LAMER!!! AHAHAH!!!
<Ranchan> Really? Coward.
<Skidmark> Haha. Lamer wants to fight.. HAHA.. Coward?
<Ranchan> Thats right. Coward.
<Skidmark> I could kick your ass any day of the week.
<Ranchan> Fine, then meet me at Jusenkyo. I've gotta go there anyways.
<MrFist> Waitasec. You've been to Jusenkyo?
<Ranchan> Yeah. Why?
<Skidmark> Where the hell is that?
<MrFist> Are you from Nerima by any chance?
<Ranchan> Yeah. Howd you know?
<Skidmark> NERIMA?!?! Thats where I am!
<MrFist> I should've guessed earlier. Ranma?
<Ranchan> Who is this?
<Skidmark> So, the cur Saotome hath learned the ways of the electronic 
world. Your sorcery will be avenged, Saotome!
<MrFist> KUNO?!?!
<Ranchan> Kuno?!?!
Skidmark is now known as BlueThndr
<BlueThndr> Yes. It is I.
<Ranchan> So, who are you then?
<MrFist> Think duck.
<Ranchan> Mousse?! What the?!? How do you know about the internet?
<MrFist> Well, It'll still be a couple years before the electric company 
spreads to the village, so while I'm here in Nerima, I'm learning a few 
things.
<BlueThndr> How dare you Saotome, placing thyself in an unknown guise. 
Probably to protect your fragile self from my might.
<MrFist> Shut up, Kuno.
<Ranchan> Shut up Kuno!
<MrFist> Beat ya!
<Ranchan> OH well. I've had enough. I'm going.

Ranma: Boy Kuno has a mouth on him. STrange how people change on the 
internet.

Kasumi: Oh, Ranma. Are you done?

Ranma: Ya, sure. Why, you need the computer?

Kasumi: Yes, I need to check out my recipe web page.

Ranma: Here ya go. <Gets up>

<Kasumi sits down and loads up the web browser.>

<Ranma leaves, thinking of the way Kuno acted on the internet>

<Kasumi, after Ranma left, shtus downt he web browser & loads up the 
IRC program.>

/nick WhipGirl
/join #b&dsex #Whips&chains #s&mlove

<Kasumi grins and begins to greet her internet friends.>

<The End>