I don't know why I chose to MST this...it is horrible. But some real veteran
MSTers decided to step on and give me a hand...

On with the show!!

[Roll Season 9 Theme]

[Unnamed Planet]
[PEARL is standing in front of the camera, glowering.]
PEARL: So, Mike and the bots... you have defeated me time after time...well,
 now it's no more Ms. Nice Guy... [picks up a Biohazard bag] because I have
 the fanfic that will surely crush your spirits!! Brain Guy!! Send my little
 probes this piece of compost...called "The Countess Chronicles"!!
OBSERVER: Right away, Pearl! [wiggles head]

[Satellite of Love]
[lights and klaxon go off]

MIKE: ...the hell?!
TOM: Not fanfic sign again!!! Arrrgh!!
MIKE: Let's go, guys.

[Dog Bone, 6,5,4,3,2,*]

><LinLin@ns.sympatico.ca>

CROW: How cute...a panda at the Bronx Zoo wrote this.
TOM: He must have typed it on the back of a spare tire....
MIKE: But where's RanRan?
TOM: Someone must have given her the kiss of death....

>Warning!    Warning!    Warning!    Warning!    Warning!
>Warning!    Warning!    Warning!    Warning!    Warning!

TOM:  So, what do you suppose the author's trying to get across here?
CROW: Bite me!  Bite me!  Bite me!  Bite me!
MIKE: Crappy fanfic ahead! Crappy fanfic ahead!

>This is a fictional piece of work created based upon character created
>by Naoko Takeuchi and one not.

MIKE:  One not what?
CROW:  One not using grammar, apparently.

>This is in no way accurate to the story line presented by Naoko or to the
>life of the Countess depicted in these stories.

MIKE: [author] Therefore, bite me.
CROW: That's my line!
TOM: [author]  So *countess* your blessings!
 
 

>As well all rights of the Sailor Moon characters belong to Naoko
>Takeuchi and the corresponding companies affiliated with her.

TOM: I thought the author said only one *character* would be used from
 Sailor Moon?

>Next, this is a story of explicit sex and graphic violence,

MIKE: Not to mention *Retaliation*.
CROW: The author must be a big fan of Carnivore...

>if you're not of the heart for these  stories, then as one hentai fan fic
>writer once said,

TOM: [Oscar] Shove that off your ass!
CROW [Hungarian accent]:  My nipples explode with delight!

>"Oh gentle reader, do not continue".

MIKE: Who said that, anyway?
CROW: And, as Crow T. Robot once said, "Jump up my butt!"
MIKE: Guys, it hasn't even started yet.
TOM: Come on, Mike. You know that every lemon we are sent is deformed
 in some demented way.
MIKE: Well...

>Anyone who continues reading beyond this point agrees to be of legal age,
>and that they wish to read this sort of story.

MIKE: [underaged reader]  All right!  Now I can drink beer and
 watch all the R-rated movies I want!
CROW: So we don't have to! Sounds good to me!! [gets up to leave]
MIKE: No, Crow.

>While there is nudity and sex in these stories, this is a mainly
>*horror* story.

TOM: The horror....The horror....

>I do not condone or encourage the kind of actions the
>main antagonist takes in this story.  The acts are evil,

ALL: EEEEEEEEVIL!!!
CROW: [Jessica] Evil stick!

>and are in no way legally, morally, or ethically correct.

TOM: Like an Oscarfic.
CROW:  He's writing about Don King?

>With that said, I hope the horror of the Countess thrills you....  ~_^

CROW: |-(
MIKE: >:p
TOM: @_@

>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>-----------------

MIKE: Broken water main at Main and Niagara Falls Blvd... use alternate
 routes...
CROW: [concerned mother] Kids!  Don't go outside without your barrels!

>The Countess Chronicles - Prologue
>====================================
>       by LinLin

TOM & CROW: [imitating scary organ music]
MIKE: (deep voice) GOOD EVENING....

>Mizuno Ami woke up with a sudden pang of agony.

CROW: Someone had put a Hanson CD in place of her regular wake-up music.
TOM: No, Crow...we'll get flamed!
MIKE: She must have been having a nightmare about _Ami-Chan_....
BOTS: [shudder]

>She looked up into the face of a middle-aged Japanese woman, with
>staunch features and piercing jade-eyes.

TOM:  "Staunch features"?  She sounds like a chest of drawers.
CROW: [woman] I aM ToRGrA.  I waTCh tHe PlacE WHiLe ThE MiSTResS
 iS aWAy....
MIKE: Cute, Crow....

>Her brown hair crowned her round face, creating an ominous shadowy
>pattern across her forehead.

MIKE: [deeply] Got milk?
TOM: [Cherry]  Most ominous....

>"Wake up, my slut," The woman said, "Your parties just beginning!"

MIKE: Does that mean Ami can cry when she wants to?
TOM: [Ami] *Parties*? How can I be in more than one place at one time?
CROW: Already Ami's out of character.

>Ami stared at the woman in shock.  Where was she, and who was this
>lady.

MIKE: And what did she do with her punctuation marks.

>Her eyes were crazy, maddening.

CROW: Allergies are a terrible curse....
TOM:  They make me want to SLE-E-E-E-P!

>And the smell of the room, acrid and thick,  was so stifling that Ami had
>to fight to hold back her bile.

TOM: [Ami] YOU CAN'T HAVE JOHN!  HE'S MINE!!!
MIKE: This is about to go wrong, isn't it?
CROW:  Believe me, Ami-chan, we know exactly how you feel.

>Ami could feel she was naked,

TOM:  But what else was new?
CROW: [Ami] But to be absolutely sure, I'd better think about Greg and
 touch myself...
MIKE: Crow...

>looking down she confirmed it,

CROW: [Ami] Maybe I'm dreaming....I'd better pinch myself....
TOM: [snickers]

>and noticed she was strapped to a large steel slab, with her feet
>being bound to it by large black straps of leather.  Unable to move
>her wrists, Ami surmised it was the same case for them.

MIKE: [Ami] Duuuuuhhh... I'm bound to a table... so that must mean I am
 trapped!!
TOM: Ami into BDSM? I'm shocked!
CROW: I'm not....
MIKE: Crow...

>The room was a large black-stoned room.

MIKE: [room] Woah....I'm like, totally stoked dude....
TOM: I don't suppose it had black curtains too?

>Straw lined some sections of the room,

CROW:  Guess they ran out of sawdust.

>while others sections were

TOM: ...wooden and there were even some brick sections too.
MIKE: ...filled with canned goods, cleaning supplies, dairy products, meat...
CROW: [Ash]  SHOP SMART!  SHOP S-MART!

>bare right down to the cold grey earth, some areas which showed traces
>of recent burials.

MIKE: So that's what became of Oscar...
TOM: Let's bury this fanfic.
CROW: Wishful thinking...

>All over the room were various torcher devices,

MIKE: Like acetylene torches, napalm, matchsticks, that sort of thing.
TOM:  They sentenced her to TOR-CHAH!!

>and several tubs full of a dark sticky liquid Ami could not place, though it
>did seem to have a plasma-like texture to it.

CROW: Little did Ami realize that she had traveled back in time to witness
 the birth of spam...
TOM: Oh, no...

>On the walls hung several decaying female figures of varying age and size.
>Life had long been stripped from these anguished bodies.

CROW: What the hell?
TOM:  Ohmigod, it *is* the birth of Spam!

>"Who are you!" She yelped.

CROW:  I'm Batman!
TOM: [Gene Wilder] They call me Jim but you can call me....Jim.

>"I'm your worst nightmare darling."

TOM: [Sylvester Stallone] Don't steal my lines, PUNK!
MIKE:  You're here with the Selection of the Month from Columbia
 House?  Oh, God, noooo!!

>The woman replied, with a strange accent that Ami could not pipoint.
>She knew it was neither Japanese or Chinese; for some reason she
>thought it sounded...European.

TOM: Oh my God!  She's been abducted by a *DUBBED* kidnapper!
CROW: Mike, I'm scared.
MIKE: This is bad...very bad.
TOM: Sooner or later, James Bond is going to show up.
CROW: Either him or Billy Quan...

>The lady lifted a belt up to her lips and licked it.

MIKE: [lady]  Mmmmmm...leathery fresh!
[ALL make slurping noises.]

>Ami realized that probably was what woke her.

TOM:  She must have the loudest tongue this side of _A Chinese Ghost
 Story_!

>She looked at the area that was stinging on her chest, a welt was
>beginning to form on her breasts,

CROW: [Ami] I knew I should have worn a larger size bra...

>small trickles of blood outlined where the buckle had struck.

TOM: 1, 2, buckle your...
MIKE: DON'T even think about it. Tom...
CROW: Here at the Darryl Gates Police Academy, our officers are trained
 in the latest methods of persuasion!

>Ami looked around for some idea of where she was, so she could figure
>what she was doing here and more importantly, how to escape.

TOM: [Ami] Hmmmm.....Now, what would McGuyver do?

>What she saw only made matters worse.

MIKE: What she tasted was even worse than that....

>Her friends were here.  Rei...Makoto...Minako...and Usagi.

CROW:  Yep, that's worse!
MIKE: [Ami] Hey, I'm the star of this sick lemon!  Go find your own!

>And they didn't look good.

CROW: They ate some of C-ko's raspberry pie.
TOM [as Ami]:  "Oh, my *God*, Rei, what did you do to your hair?  And
 Minako, that purse doesn't match your fuku!"

>Minako was laid out on a table,

TOM [singing]:  ...Stinking of gin...

>her arms and legs spread to their max

CROW:  Rilly!  Fer shure!
TOM: [Max] Hey Sam!  Check this out!  I've got more hair on my fuzzy
 little butt than she's got on her....
MIKE: Tom!

>by ropes connected to pulleys on opposite ends of the large platform.

MIKE: [Minako] Gosh, Mr. Albert...is all this really necessary?

>Blood trickled from her young, spread-open mouth and the slits that
>appeared all over her body, in strategic areas.

TOM:  "Strategic areas"?  She got taken over by the army men from _Toy
 Story_?

>If she was concious, Ami could not tell.

CROW: Cause she was unconscious.  Thank you!

>Her eyes were spread wide open in a mixture of shock and horror.

MIKE: She must have read this fic beforehand.

>Her mouth hung open in some unanswered scream.

TOM: Thus. she got no ice cream.
CROW:  Alright, al-RIGHT!  We hear you, a'ready!

>Her body was taut, but no longer moved...Ami prayed she was dead.

MIKE: And then she said a prayer for Minako too....
CROW: Is there a way we can turn this off?
TOM: Nope.

>Especially with her lower extremeties pierced with an old rusty
>trident.

TOM: [Mr. Rogers] Hello, boys and girls!  Can you say *anti-fic*?  I
 knew you could....
MIKE: [now nauseous] Yeesh.  How old is that gum, anyway?
CROW:  "The Revenge of Tusky the Walrus!"

>Makoto was in the center of the room, on her hand and knees.

CROW:  Somebody give her a hand.  Oooo!  Me!  That was me!  Sorry!
TOM: At least she's not kneeling in front of Oscar.

>Metal spikes had been drilled through her hands and the backs of her
>legs, maintaining the position.

MIKE: Ugh.  That's taking the old *assume the position* a bit too far....
TOM:  "...then, the insidious Countess played the Star-Spangled Banner,
 just to make her try to stand up!"
MIKE: Alright, no soup for you!

>Several rottweilers were busy invading her,

CROW: Figures.  This fic's gone to the dogs....
TOM: This must be hell.  Those dogs are probably the ones that Oscar
 murdered in "That Girl."
MIKE: Maybe they're the cast from Strawdogs?

>blood mixed on the floor along with the tears from the girl's eyes.

CROW:  As opposed to tears from somewhere else?
MIKE: [still nauseous] So...someone doesn't like the Sailor Senshi, so
 they make a rape-and-torture fic. How nice.
TOM: It could be worse, they could be enjoying it....

>She was not screaming anymore, instead all that was heard was
>a light sobbing that could only be compared to that of a wounded,
>dying young kitten.

CROW:  No wonder the Rottweilers are after her.

>Ami could not see her friend's face, nor did she want to.

TOM: Well, we don't want to see this *fic*, but do we have a choice?!
MIKE: Bitter, Tom?
TOM: Damn tootin!

>It took her a while to find Rei, and it was no surprise.

CROW:  ...because Rei, smart girl that she is, paid her agent's 10% and
 cut her losses!

>It took Ami a few minutes to convince her self that that was her fellow
>comrade rolling on the dirty, oily and bloodied floor.

MIKE: What have we learned, kids? Don't let your Sailor Senshi play in
 the mechanic's garage.

>A hoarse moan-whine emitted from the preistess's lips,

TOM: [Rei] Wilbur.....Wilbur....

>drawing attention to her horribly burned face.

MIKE: Rei watched Serena light a fart a little *too* closely....
CROW: This message brought to you by the Surgeon General.
TOM: Smoking. Don't play that game.

>What made her hard to recognize, however, was her lack
>of limbs.  Her arms and legs had been cut off at their source on her
>body,

MIKE:  That would be *shoulders* and *hips*!!
TOM:  The author failed his/her course in "How to Recognize Different Parts of
 the Body".
CROW: Desperate to be the Black Knight in the stage version of Monty
 Python and the Holy Grail, Rei resorts to extreme measures....

>and the wounds had been sautered

TOM:  "Sautered"?

>with some sort of heavy flame.  In both of her lowerer orifices; small,
>short-haired creatures were busy burrowing their way in, their entrance
>unhindered by their host.

TOM:  ...and we'd like to announce a winner in the "Disgusting Images"
 Category...
CROW: You know, it's fics like this that make me wish for the quiet subtlety
 of *R*P*M*
MIKE: [vomits]
TOM: I hate to say this, but this is *worse* than Oscar!
CROW: You know, at this point, I wouldn't mind if Oscar himself showed
 up to kick this bitch's ass....

>Usagi was the last she found,

MIKE: Aw, damn!  Damn!  Chibi was the one senshi I wouldn't have minded
 seeing tortured.
TOM: Come on, Mike.  Even Chibi doesn't deserve to be mutilated like
 that.
CROW: Tux-Boy, on the other hand...

>due to the fact she wasn't in sight right away.

TOM: [British voice] How not to be seen...

>What drew her attention was a loud screech that came from Ami's left.
>It also caught the lady's attention.

CROW: [lady] Oh, *another* person I haven't tortured yet? Oh, joy!
MIKE: [Naoko Takeuchi]  OH MY GOD!  WHAT THE HELL HAVE
 YOU DONE TO MY CHARACTERS!?!?!

>There in a up-right coffin, whose lid had just swung open, was

CROW: ...The Undertaker.
TOM: [Undertaker] ON BEHALF OF THE FORCES OF DARKNESS AND
 THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION...I WILL UNLEASH MY
 FULL FURY UPON YOUR ROTTING CORPSE AND THEN YOU WILL
 REST...IN...PEACE...
ALL: TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE!

>perched the body of Tsukino Usagi, a.k.a. Sailor Moon, a.k.a. Princess
Serenity.

CROW: a.k.a. Staler than a week-old Bagel.

>Now she was nothing.

MIKE: Her IQ, that is.
TOM:  Right!  Nothing!  Vanished!  That's all we need to know!  Thank you!

>Nothing but a body with spike holes riddling her body,

CROW:  When a'body meets a'body, a'comin' through the rye...

>accompanied by large metal spikes that protruded from her front.

TOM: Usagi took body piercing to a whole new level....
MIKE:  Tobe Hooper wouldn't sign for this...
CROW: Gee, you know, I'm still having trouble visualizing this.  Could
 you go into a *little* more detail so I can fully understand what happened?
MIKE: Careful, Crow.  You'll overload your sarcasm sequencer....

>The Iron Maiden had done it's job, as it always would.

TOM [Kyle voice]:  Oh, my God!  They killed Usagi!
CROW [Stan voice]:  You bastards!!
MIKE: You know, I think LinLin has some issues with women.
CROW: I would be inclined to agree, Mike.

>Visions of all her four friends started reeling through her head,

MIKE:  The stockings were hung by the chimney with care...

>along with

TOM: Sugarplums?

>the hideous laughter from the lady.

CROW: And hideous writing from the author.
TOM: [lady] He he he!
MIKE: Oscar?

>Ami couldn't hold it back anymore, and from her prone position, she
>began to retch violently,

TOM: I'm with her.  [retches all over the floor]
CROW: Ditto. [retches as well]

>all the while the lady continued to laugh hysterically.

MIKE [fratboy voice]:  Huh-huh!  Toldja not to mix vodka and grain punch!
TOM: I'd say this lady was related to Kodachi or B-ko, but they have
 a lot more class.

>"Cough up Ami!  Cough up!   Cough up Ami! Cough up!"

MIKE: [lady] You owe me twenty bucks, damn it!
CROW: [Ami] I can't!  Greg rubbed Vic's Vapor rub all over my body this
 morning...
TOM: [lady] Let's make this fic even *more* disgusting!!!

>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>--------------

TOM:  ...and let's assume, for the sake of argument, that what was above
 that line was never written, all right?
CROW:  'Kay.
MIKE: Everyone who was grossed out by this sick excuse for a fanfic, sign
 your name on the line above....

>"Wake up Ami!  Wake up!"

MIKE: [singing] Wake up... little Ami, wake up!
CROW: Cute, Mike.

>Ami began to shake hysterically, thrashing her hands and feet about
>wildlly.

ALL:  GATOR!!

>"For Amaterasu's sake, wake up  Ami!" came a familiar voice.

TOM: Mom?
MIKE: Dr. Claw?
CROW: The voice of the utterly damned.
MIKE: Crow, the torture scene's over.

>Ami opened her eyes upon hearing the familiar voice, and looked up
>into the face of Usagi, very alive and well, but very worried.

CROW: [Usagi] I got an A on my math test...something is wrong with me!!
TOM: [Usagi] If this is just the *prologue*, we're all in a LOT of
 trouble....

>Now Ami remembered, she had spent the night over at Usagi's.  It was
>the weekend, and Ami's mother had gone to some big Doctor's hubbub.

MIKE:  A shindig!  A real hullabaloo!
TOM:  I have this image of doctors dancing the Hokey Pokey, and
 playing "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"...
CROW: Boy, did it surprise Ami when her mother came home with an iron
 maiden...
MIKE & TOM: CROW!!!
CROW: Sorry.

>Usagi had offered to let her come over for company, and Ami had more
>than happily accepted.

TOM: [Ami]  You bring the handcuffs, I'll wear that light blue teddy you've
 always liked....
CROW: [Usagi] Cool.  Do you still have that French maid outfit you borrowed
 from Lei Fang?
TOM : [Ami] (giggles)  I'll put it on right now.  Just don't forget to bring
 the transformation pen this time....and the lubrication for the moon wand.
MIKE: Guys...

>And the rest, it had been a dream, all of it.  Except for the last part,
>which Ami could smell without even looking for it.

TOM: [Ami] Note to myself...don't use two bottles of Ex-Laxx at the same
 time.
MIKE: Yuck, Tom....
CROW:  You mean you can smell it *over* the fanfic?

>She sat straight up and immediately began to roll up the material
>containing her expulsion. "I'm sorry Usagi.  I didn't mean to.... Oh
>your futon!"

MIKE: [Ami] Bad Ami!! Bad Ami!! Look what you did!

>Usagi grabbed Ami by the arm and spun her around, "Forget my bloody
>futon, Ami are you alright?"

TOM:  Her bloody...?  Uh...no, never mind.  I'm happier not knowing.
CROW: Urp...
MIKE: This is the first fic that I have seen that tries it's hardest to make
 the audience vomit.
CROW: It seems to be working.

>Ami smiled a half-hazard, non-convincing smile.

MIKE [as Ami]:  "Hey, if Linda Blair can start this way..."
TOM: Ami played Alex in her high school production of *A Clockwork
 Orange*....

>"Oh yes, just a little nightmare, nothing much."

TOM: [Ami] Oh, dear...I wet 'em too!
CROW: No mention of gravy.  That's a good sign....
MIKE: Ugh! Crow!

>"Nothing much?!?!?!" Usagi countered, "Do you always have dreams
>where you wake up screaming and ralphing?"

MIKE [as Usagi]:  ...and levitating four feet off the bed, with your head
 spinning 360°?"
CROW: [Usagi] I mean, I could understand if you had just seen _Showgirls_,
 but come on!

>"Well, not normally," Ami commented, "But I did eat some of your
>cookies last night just before we went to sleep."

TOM [as Ami]:  Gave 'em back this morning, though!

>"And what's that supposed to mean!"  Usagi demanded.

MIKE: That you have a pending arrest warrant from the FDA.

>The door swung open displaying a small figure that stepped in,

CROW:  Uh, wait -- not a "small, short-haired creature"?  Whew.  Okay.

>"Usagi-chan!  What are you screaming so early in the morning again
>about?  Break another break cell?"

TOM: [Usagi] Hi, Happosai!!
CROW: She broke a brain cell? Now she's down to two!!

>"No!  I had a nightmare I gave birth to you, ya little twit!" Usagi
>yelled back. "Haven't you ever heard of *knocking*, Rini?  It's part
>of respect, or didn't anyone who raised you have the intellect to
>teach you that?"

MIKE: Well, you are related to Joxer.
CROW: Don't remind me.

>"I don't know," the pink haired girl smirked, "Wouldn't you?  After
>all you're the one who raised me..."

ALL: Oooooh!!
TOM: Rini 2, Usagi 0!
CROW: Should I point out that Rini is here with the manga names? She
 should be Chibi-usa.
TOM: Yeah, but why let that ruin a good joke?

>"Why you little..."  Usagi seethed angrily...

MIKE: How else would one seethe?

>Ami interceeded, "I'm sorry Little Rini.  I just had a bad nightmare.
>I hope I didn't scare you too much."

CROW: [Rini] Oh, no...I'm just having a happy little spat with my mom!
TOM: Ami didn't scare her, but the nightmare sure did!

 >"Oh don't worry about me,"  Rini, said giving a thumbs up sign and a
>wink,"

MIKE: [Ami] Nudge Nudge, know what I mean, say no more?
TOM: [Rini] Oh, you and mom are going to do it again?  Okay, I'll go play
 outside...
MIKE: Tom...

>I was just worried Cow-tails might be giving off another mating call or
>something!"

MIKE: *Cow-tails*?!
TOM: What is it with Sailor Moon and pet-names?
CROW: [Usagi] Who'ya calling Cow-tail, Pinky....

>"Don't call me cow-tails!" Usagi screamed, "Only Mamoru-chan may call
>me that!"

CROW: Mamoru-chan? So Usagi is a lesbian?
TOM: Oh, brother.
MIKE: [Mamoru] Hey, Cow-tails!  Come over here and Mooooooon me!

>The two began a staring competition, followed by a tongue-waggling
>competition, ended by the great Usagi-chasing-the-laughing-Rini race.

TOM: Which was no competition at all....
MIKE: [announcer] And it's Croissant Head leading Long-tailed Twit
 coming into the inside stretch!

>Ami sighed, shaking her head, and continued rolling up the stained
>futon.  At least the nightmare was over.  Nothing that frightening
>could happen for real could it?

CROW: It could if you don't pay your cable bill.
TOM: Or Kathy Lee Gifford holds another Christmas Special....
MIKE:  Happened to me just the other day.

>She took the rolled up futon into the laundry room and began to wash
>it off, in preparation for the washing machine.

CROW: Heaven forbid if she put any *dirty* laundry in the washing
 machine....

>As she shoved it in the machine, she noticed that morning's paper had
>been left on the machine.  The title headline caught Ami's eye for some
>reason.

TOM: Then spit it back out onto the floor.
MIKE: Tom, relax.
CROW [Ami]:  There's a sale at Penney's!

>"Millionaire's Widow returns to Tokyo, Japan after twelve years!"

MIKE:  Led by Ryouga, apparently!
TOM: [Ami] Oh no.....Yoko Ono is back!
CROW: There goes the country....
TOM: That's it?  The story is over?
MIKE: I think so.
TOM: GREAT!!!  Let's get out of here!!

[MIKE picks up TOM and carries him out of theater, Crow speeding
ahead of them.]

[SoL-Bridge]
MIKE: Aw, man...that was bad, guys...but we survived!!
CROW: I have a question...WHY? I mean, come on...the Sailor Senshi
 are only, like, 14!! What kind of sicko has little girls in a rape/
 torture fic? And then the unnecessary grossness at the end? What's the
 deal with this crap? [pant, pant]
TOM: Nice rant, Crow.
CROW: Whatever. The incredible Three are calling.

[MIKE hits MADs light]

PEARL: So...I see that you have survived. No matter, for if I find those
 other parts, your fate is sealed!! BWAH,HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[fade to credits]

mst3k created by
JOEL HODGSON

mst3k produced by
BEST BRAINS, INC.

riffs written by
SETH C. TRIGGS
SCOOTER
MEGANE 6.7

original fanfic written by
LIN LIN

Mystery Science Theater 3000 is ©1998 Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved.
This MSTing is a work of fiction based on another work of fiction. No
infringement is implied or intended, and certainly no offense, for this
is a harmless satire.
Even to Lin Lin, who wrote this horrible rape/torture fic!!.
Sailor Moon is copyright to Naoko T. and DIC. All rights reserved.

Keep circulating the fics
27 May 1998

>"Cough up Ami!  Cough up!   Cough up Ami! Cough up!"