(The future isn't what it used to be....)
 
"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7"  (SEASON TWO)

EPISODE 16: OSCAR TOON PT. 3

(A Sailor Moon/Dragon Ball Z/Warner Brothers Oscarfic MSTing)

MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7

This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.

Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are
the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc.  Just covering
my own ass here folks....

"Sailor Moon" is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the
distributors of her work.
 
"Tiny Toons" and the "Warner Brothers" characters are the property
of Warner Brothers and all the distributors of their work.

"Dragon Ball" is the property of Akira Toriyama and all the
distributors of his work

"Oscar Toon" is the property of Oscar and he's welcome to it.  I do not
intend to offend this person for making fun of his/her work like this
but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does.  Think
of this as another form of C&C.  ;)

Warning:  This fic contains mature content.  If you are offended by
such material, simply delete it and it's gone.  If not, enjoy!
 

(Door 6: It slides open on both sides..)

(Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you
move on..)

(Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.)

(Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling..)

(Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and
touches the door. The door vanishes.)

(Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.)

(Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor.  You walk into it.)
 

        Joel emerged from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms,
Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind.  Stepping
over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his
own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to
him, Crow sitting on his right.
 

Tom: Well, let's recap the fanfic... Oscar's a sick freak and Lola's his
latest victim.  Any questions?  No?  Good.
 

>as Bugs was passing by, but when he was about to turn,
 

Crow: For once, Bugs didn't miss that left turn at Albuquerque....

Joel: Poor sap.
 

>he saw Oscar and Lola, and he only backed up, hiding and listening
>to what they where saying.
 

Joel: There's a reason they call him *Bugs*.
 

>Oscar then managed to finish "I...like you Lola..i like you a lot"
 

Crow: <Oscar>  Duh, I like you Lola... i'll kill you last....

Joel: <Lola> He likes me!  He really really likes me!
 

>Lola turned at him "I know, many ppl had said that to me...",
 

Tom: But you're the first hermaphrodite that's even suggested it....

Joel: <singing> Hey... stand up... Ruthless ppl!
 

>Oscar then gulped,
 

Crow: Oscar.  The official new mascot of 7-11!

Tom: <Oscar> Duh, Gulp the Gulp!  He he he!
 

>and took a serious look
 

Tom: At what he was writing?

Joel: You can't be serious!
 

>"but i like you not just for what you are,
 

Crow: ...but what you're wearing.
 

>but for what i am when i'm with you..." Lola's eyes lighted up, and
>replied
 

Joel: <Lola> I've seen the light!  You're a freak!
 

>"But...maybe you're different" ,When Bugs heard that he closed his
>fist in jealousy,
 

Tom: Why doesn't Bugs just order one of his gang to rub Oscar out
with a Chicago typewriter?

Joel: You're thinking of *BUGSY*, Crow....
 

>Lola had refused him, so many times not even after the "Game of
>the century"
 

Joel: Final Fantasy VII?

Crow: Dune II?

Tom: Hungry Hungry Hippos?
 

>with the Monstars,
 

Tom: Yeah, right... More like the "Exploitation of the century".

Crow: I still say that honor was locked up by 'The Wizard'!

Joel: With the *Gameboy* episode of *Captain N: The Game Master*
coming in at a very close second....
 

>he never got to the likes of her, even with his kiss.
 

Joel: That's what Bugs gets for not chewing the right gum.

Crow: Dentine, Bugs!  Try chewing it!
 

>Oscar smiled happy that she wasn't mad at him, that would suck like
>never before.
 

Tom: Uh, that's being awfully presumptuous, Oscar....

Crow: Because, you see, a woman *always* gives a better blowjob to a
guy she isn't peeved at....
 

>He then leaned back, and layed on the soft green grass, with Lola,
 

Tom: <Starting to vibrate> Oh no!  Nononononononononononononono....

Joel: <Shang Tsung> IT HAS BEGUN!
 

>he finally said "It's weird...talking nice with a coach...
 

Tom: <Oscar> Unlike Oscar's high school coach who takes sadistic pleasure in
making him climb the rope repeatedly in gym class....

Crow: I wonder which change room Oscar had to use?
 

>but, what happened with Bugs?", Lola sighed and answered "Oh him?
>he's just a hopeless asshole...flirting with every F.rabbit he sees, acting
>"Cool" all the time..sheesh",
 

Tom: Oscar even swears in shorthand.

Joel: What other F. rabbits is she talking about?  Warner Brothers had to
create Lola from scratch because they're weren't any other female rabbits
for Bugs to interact with other than Tiny Toon's Babs and she's too young!

Crow: Maybe Fudd got them all?
 

>Oscar chuckled lightly, as he said "So much for him",
 

Joel: Oh yeah, Oscar's the North Pole compared to Bugs.

Tom: Oscar makes the 7up cool spot look shallow....
 

>Bugs was simply furious when he heard her.Suddenly, Lola rolled
>from her back to her stomach, and got closer to Oscar,
 

Tom: <Lola> Oh no... not again....

Crow: WATER, MY ASS!  GET THAT RABBIT SOME PEPTO
BISMOL!!!

Joel: <John Candy> Check, please!
 

>he blushed lightly and nervously asked "Ummm Lola?..."
 

Joel: <Oscar> I've really got to go to the bathroom!
 

>Lola smiled as she kissed him in the LIPS,
 

Crow: Those buck-teeth'll get you every time.
 

>Oscar went wide-eyed, one of his fantasies had come true,
 

Joel: So what else is new?

Crow: <Oscar> Let's see... Boinked talking cat?

Tom: Check.

Crow:<Oscar> Boinked a Catwoman?

Tom: Check.

Crow:<Oscar> Made a female skunk fall in love with me at a glance?

Tom: Check.

Crow: <Oscar> Dissed Elmer Fudd?

Tom: Check.

Crow:<Oscar> Got kissed by a rabbit and dragged the reputation of
another *rabbit* through the mud?

Tom: Check.

Joel: Where and what will Oscar strike next?
 

>Bugs's head was RED steam shooting outta his ears,
 

Joel: Bugs turned into Mysterio?
 

>and a lil devil appeared at his left side.
 

Joel: The lil angel was too busy stuffing her face with Philadelphia
Cream Cheese....

Crow: <devil> I'll make you a deal, Bugs.  I'll whack Oscar and you
help me convince a little Mexican girl to steal and do bad things on
Christmas....

Tom: Hey, we're not supposed to know about that movie yet!

Crow: It's a fanfic.  You should really just relax.
 

>Lola parted from him, "Lola..." Oscar weakly said, "I know it feels
>weird, you're 14
 

Joel: Lola's fourteen?  Since when?

Tom: I know it's Loony-Tune Land and all, but a 14 year old university
coach may be shaving the line a *little* too thin....

Crow: Shame on you, Bugs!  You're over 60 and you're lusting after a
14 year old bunny?

Joel: I'm pretty sure Oscar got this one wrong, Crow.
 

>and i'm...well
 

Crow: ...a freak who loves pussy?

Joel: Actually, he's moved on to bunnies and skunks now.
 

>i can't tell you everything do i?
 

Tom: <Oscar> Duh, She don't know me vewwy well, do she?
 

>he he, i like you too Oscie.." Lola added, as Oscar's mind played a
>small flashback, it was when Artemis, and Felicia told him just that
 

Tom: Let it be known from this moment on that all of Oscar's love
interests will mistake him for a member of the Little Rascals!
 

>(Read my other past fanfics),
 

Crow: Read our lips.  Not even if the Dominion Puma Twins walked
up to us in latex and begged us on their hands and knees, promising us
a lifetime of unrestricted sexual servitude in exchange!

Joel: Actually, those are *YOUR* words, Crow.  But I'll take a pass as
well....

Tom: Uh... how long would they promise to serve me?

Joel: Tom....

Tom: What?  I'm sure we could work out some kind of arrange....

Crow: TOM!

Tom: Okay, okay!  Nevermind!
 

>Oscar then caressed Lola's cheek, working up to her face,
 

Tom: Whoa!  Gives new meaning to the phrase *cheek to cheek*....

Crow: I'll say one thing for Oscar.  His technique is a lot better than Torgo's.

Joel: Or Eegah's for that matter.
 

>Lola smiled with her eyes closed and, then stood up  She picked up
>her bag and said
 

Tom: <Lola> Just wait until this fic is over, you little....
 

>"Well, c'ya around Oscie" Oscar also stood up and smiled , waving
>her goodbye, oscar left, but when he turned in the corner, he saw a
>furious Bugs, "Oh Hiya Bugs!"
 

Tom: <Bugs, eating a carrot> Eh, What's up, doc?
 

>Bugs frowned  "Don't hiya me kid! what you where doing with my
>gal?!" Oscar pouted with a smile
 

Crow: Pouted with a smile?  How the hell do you do that?

Joel: If you keep making faces like that, it might stay that way.
 

>"YOUR gal?!""Yes my gal, you little S.O.B."
 

Joel: What is he, Gabbo now?

Tom: Is is my imagination or has Bugs's English improved tremendously?

Crow: As opposed to Oscar's?
 

>Oscar then ignored him, and left, but Bugs grabbed him
 

Joel: Bugs must have some really long arms....

Tom: <Bugs> I learned this trick from Jack Deebs!

Crow: Well, this *IS* Loony-Tune Land.
 

>by his Sailormoon shirt and said
 

Tom: <Bugs> Nice material doc, Polyester?
 

>"You mess with my Lola, you mess with me" Oscar had a serious look
>on his face, "Let me go Bugs,"
 

Joel: <Oscar> Watch out Bugs, I know Kung Fu, Tai Kuan Do, Jeet
Kune Do, Kung Pao, Dai Dop Wooey and several other intimidating
Chinese words!

Tom: <Bugs> Oh yeah?  Well, I'm kicked some serious ass on the video
game circuit, doc!  Besides, my feet are lucky!
 

>Bugs grinned "Aw the poor lil wuss is scared?"
 

Crow: <Oscar> Why should I be?  My name's in the title.

Joel: Bugs used an Oscar-ism.  He's finished....
 

>Oscar the closed his eyes, and hit Bugs's wrist making him let go off,
 

Tom: Go off where?
 

>and then twisted Bugs's arm, driving him into the ground, smashing
>Bugs's face into the pavement,
 

Crow: You know, I've always wanted to see Bugs taught a lesson in
humility but Oscar wasn't the someone I had in mind....

Joel: Hey, who better to take Bugs's ego down a peg than an egomaniac?

Tom: If Oscar's a skunk, wouldn't it be easier to just spray Bugs?
 

>he applied the SHARPSHOOTER on him,
 

Joel: <Bret Hart> Hey!  Only Hart family members get to use that move!

Crow: <Chris Hyatte> MY GOD!!!! OSCAR RIPS OFF EVERYTHING!!!!

Tom: Are you sure it isn't the *SCORPION DEATH LOCK*?  Which
leg is he using?
 

>and even if Bugs was a cartoon character, he couldn't do nothing
>against the leg-lock,
 

Tom: Because this is a self-insertion fanfic and in Oscar's sweaty hands,
that's more deadly than *THE DIP*.

Crow: He couldn't do nothing. So does that mean he had to do something?

Joel: Don't be so double-negative, Crow.

Crow: Bite me twice!
 

>Bugs yelled out in pain, as Oscar tightened the grip, but he eventually
>freed him, Oscar pouted and said "Lola is right, you ARE pathetic"
>he strolled away.
 

Crow: Hoo boy....

Tom: Oscar, you bastard!  All Bugs did was make us laugh!

Joel: I guess we can add fans of Warner Brothers to the list of people
waiting to flame Oscar....

Tom: If Oscar beats up Taz next, I'm leaving!
 

>Meanwhile, the B.Ball youma was still on his way to ACME city,
>grunting and destroying everything,
 

Tom: <Ryoga> Furikan Koko doco da?
 

>which no one could see it cuz he was in a dessert ha ha haaa!
 

Crow: What kind? A piece of cake? A bowl of butterscotch pudding?
 

>Back in looniversity,
 

Joel: ...Furball was hiding in the basement, praying that Oscar
wouldn't find him....
 

>Oscar was in the classroom with the rest,
 

Tom: <Professor>  What's this *and the rest...* crap?!?
 

>Fifi was still wanting to know where he was from,
 

Crow: Judging by his use of wrestling holds, I'm guessing 'Parts
Unknown'?
 

>Buster was at his side "Yo Osc, great move there in the gym eh?"
>Oscar grinned and replied
 

Joel: <Oscar> You're not getting my Bud Light, Buster.
 

>"yeah, i thought i'd lose all my Saiy....skills when i got to this di....i
>mean city"
 

Crow: <Oscar> Which i'm writing about in this shi... i mean
witty fanfic so people can complai... compliment me on my work.
 

>He smiled nervously, Shirley came and said "Like i feel something
>weird on you Osc.." Oscar raised an eyebrow, nervously"like what?"
 

Crow: <Shirley> It's as if, like, you had two kinds of genitals!
 

>Shirley rubbed her chin "Something as if you weren't from this world
>or sumthing.."
 

Tom: <Obi Wan> It's as if thousands of readers suddenly cried out in
warning and then were suddenly silenced....

Joel: It's as if you're not only an incredibly crappy fanfiction writer,
but a egotistical hermaphrodite that constantly cheats on his lovers, too!
 

>"You must be malfunctioning Shirl" Plucky interrupted,
 

Tom: Shirley's an android?

Crow: If that's true, A valley girl must have programmed her.

Joel: <Shirley> Like, drive not ready, ok? Abort, retry, fail, or
some junk? Like I think I blew a circuit or SUMTHING!

Tom: Shirley is but a poor freebot....
 

>"Like i wasn't talking to you" Shirley responded to Plucky's interruption.
 

Joel: Pay no attention to that duck behind the desk!
 

>Oscar left the classrom before the next teacher came in,
 

Tom: Even Oscar's smart enough not to mess with Onsen-Mark Sensei.
 

>and went outside the facility, and into it's backyard, he thoughtg it'd
>be good if he increased his power during his stance in here,
 

Crow: "Thoughtg?"

Joel: I guess a super-saiyajin can't be bothered with mundane things
like editing out typos....

Tom: Or staying true to your love while putting the moves on anything
warm and furry....
 

>so he went to the perfecto prep. He eventually got there,
 

Crow: <Oscar>  *gasp*  *wheeze*  I knew I should have... *wheeze*...
hailed a cab....
 
Tom: <Benny the Cab> Can't you read?!?  *Off-Duty*!!!

Joel: Bugs might have been willing to take him there by tunneling, but
Oscar just had to be the big man on campus....
 

>he looked up and saw the spooky castle
 

Crow: Xanadu, stately home of Charles Foster Kane... Cost, no one
can say....

Joel: <whispering> Rosebud....
 

>"Hm it's here alright"
 

Tom: <Oscar> Duh, I reckon this must be the place, I reckon!
 

>He then walked to the main entrance and entered,
 

Joel: Boy, that Oscar sure knows how to make an entrance.
 

>it was too quiet to be Perfecto prep suddenly, the floor opened and
>almost swallowed Oscar
 

Crow: <Oscar> Duh, This place ain't perfect!  It sucks!!

Joel: <groans>
 

>"Whoa!" Oscar shocked as managed to jump away,
 

Tom: Tom dismayed as shakes his head at lousy grammar.
 

>One of the Perfecto bullies stept out and said "Who are u
 

Crow: <Rocky J. Squirrel> Again?!?

Tom: Did New Line Cinema pay Oscar to promote Jackie Chan's
latest film or what?!?

Joel: <Oscar> D'UH, I'M YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE....
 

>and what are u doing here?" Oscar noticed him and responded
 

Tom: <Oscar> Duh, I'm selling these fine leather jackets....

Crow: <Oscar> Duh, I have come here to whoop ass and screw
toons!  And I'm all out of whoop ass.  He he he!
 

>"I'm here to challenge Roderick Rat!" the bullie bursted out in
>laughter "AAH HBAHA HA HA!
 

Tom: <tech> Uh, sorry about that!  The laugh track machine was
jammed for a split second.  Continue reading... heh....
 

>YER KILLING ME! HA HA HA U BEAT OUR TOP HEAD
>HONCHO! HA HA"
 

Crow: Yeah, it is to laugh.

Tom:  <Bully> No one can see the Roderick, not no way, not no how!
 

>Oscar ignored him and with a pout, he leaved the place
 

Joel: Oscar made like a tree and *leaved*.

Tom: <Steve Urkel> I don't have to take this!  I'm going home!
 

>and went inside the instalation.
 

Joel:  So Oscar left by going back inside, or....?

Tom: Oscar threw leaves all over the place and toilet papered their trees
in bitter revenge.

Crow: Commence the pantsing, gentlemen!
 

>"Who the hell is him?!" Roderick Rat asked furiously,
 

Joel: <Oscar> Duh, him is my!

Tom: <Cagney> You... dirty rat....

Crow: Vewwy weww.  Wewease Wodewick!
 

>"Ummm i don't know sir, he's from here..." One of his slaves said,
 

Joel: A member of the *ratpack* I presume?

Crow: After Space Jam, the Monstars found themselves blacklisted in
the toon industry by Bugs Bunny and were forced to find work
wherever they could get it....
 

>Roedrick Rat then smiled "He he he..if he wants to fight me...then i
>shall plase him"
 

Tom: Plase?

Crow: Place?  Phase?  Praise?  Phrase?  Please?

Joel: <shrugs> You got me.
 

>He then steped out of his place, and into the hallway, were Oscar was
>still looking for him.
 

Joel: Where was he before?  I'm confused....

Tom:   Okay. Oscar mistakes the word *where* for the word *were*
and vice-versa?

Crow:  I think so.

Tom: Okay, just wanted to clear that up.

Joel: Why is Oscar picking a fight with Roderick anyway?  What did
Roderick ever do to him?

Crow: Well, since there's no fierce street dogs around to abuse....
 

>A door opened and Roderick came out of it
 

Tom: It wasn't a closet door, was it?
 

>"Rod..how nice to see you"  Oscar said with a teasing voice, Roderick
>then took off his cape and said
 

Joel: <Roderick>  TOTORO!  TOTOR... oops, I mean.... TORO! TORO!

Crow: Wait a minute!   Since when does Roderick wear a cape?

Tom: He's stealing Frank Costanza's Lawyer's wardrobe now?
 

>"So you wanna challenge me..what are u an idiot?" Oscar then
>replied  "Idiot is what idiot does"(It's Forrest bum coming soon to a
>bad neighborhood teathre near u)
 

Tom: Behold Oscar, entertainment critic!

Joel: <rubs his temples> You haven't known pain until you've experienced
Oscar trying to be funny....

Crow: <Gump> Life is like a crappy self-insertion fic... It really sucks and
you have to learn to MST it.

Tom: Wow, that's deep, Crow!
 

>Roderick Rat then said
 

Tom: <Roderick> Ask a stupid question....
 

>"Show me what u got chump" Oscar grinned and his image suddenly
>became fuzzy
 

Crow: Uh oh.  Look like we've got more technical problems....

Joel: Do not attempt to adjust your computer!

Tom: Should we take a commercial break?

Crow: Sounds good to me.

Joel: We'll be right back after these messages....
 

* * *
 

NOW AVAILABLE ON HOME COMPUTERS....

Lunari: The competition was fierce and the tension is high....

YOU CAN SEE THE CONTRIBUTIONS....

Jarald: People don't expect a stand-alone lemon to have anything but
sex.  Those that do, though, are even better.
 
OF OVER 20 AUTHORS....

Angel: Good fight scenes are very difficult to write yet some of the
best has been written in the past year.

AS THEY HONOR THE FANFICTION OF 1997....

Shori: "Um, I've never done this before, speaking in front of a crowd
before, but I'll try my best.

LIKE NEVER BEFORE....

Gary: This is one we've literally been waiting years for. If it doesn't
win, it's because the readers have all died of old age.

Kasumi: "Could it be...?"

Wilde: "It is.
 

NOW AVAILABLE FROM THE DESK OF MEGANE 6.7....
 

*"THE FIRST ANNUAL CHICKEN BALLS AWARDS"*
http://www.thekeep.org/~harnums/CB/
 

* * *
 

Joel: Okay, we're back!  Is the fanfic fixed?

Tom: I think so.  Let's move on....
 

>"What the..." Roderick blinked, Oscar was righ behind him "Hello"
>Roderick shocked and leaped, smashing his head to the ceiling and
>then falling hard on his back SMASH,
 

Tom: ...TV?

Crow: Roderick needs to cut down on the booze.
 

>Roderick was astounded to see such speed on a 14/skunk,
 

Joel: 14/skunk seeks 14/cat to star in BS fanfic.

Tom: Cute, Joel....
 

>he then launched a right fist into Oscar But he dodged it easily
 

Tom: Huh?  How could Oscar dodge a fist that plunged into him?

Joel: You sure Oscar was the one that dodged here?

Crow: Man, Oscar should have hired Flashman or RpM to choreograph
his fight scenes....
 

>"That's your maximum strength?"
 

Joel: <Oscar> Why, I'll bet you don't even come with the power of bleach!
 

>Roderick, already furious, made a dual fist strike,
 

Crow: If it's dual, should that be *fists*?

Joel: Nitpick, nitpick, nitpick....
 

>but Oscar grabbed hold of Roderick's fists and started to crunch it's bones,
 

Joel and Tom: <singing> Them bones, them bones, them dry bones....

Crow: Mmmm... I have a sudden urge for a Twix....
 

>"ARRGHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!?" Roderick yelled out, as
>his bones were being cracked,
 

Tom: <Oscar>  Duh, just cracking your knuckles for ya.  He he he!
 

>Oscar grinned and let him go.  Oscar then sighed depressively as he
>thought Roedrick would be more of a challenge
 

Tom: And Oscar wept because he had no more fanfiction worlds to
conquer....

Joel: Of course, he hasn't seduced Marissa Picard yet.

Tom: <shudders>...god... no....
 

>"Roderick. Expect to see the Looniversity's students, to be better than
>you"  He warned him and strolled away,
 

Crow: <Roderick> Like I give a rat's ass....

Tom: <Roderick> If your writing's any indication of the Looniversity's
abilities, we have nothing to worry about!  HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
 

>the perfecto bullies, tryed to attack him of course, but roderick
>stopped them "WAIT! Let him go!"
 

All: <singing> Let him be... Let him be....

Tom: There are no answers.
 

>Roderick yelled at them, the bullies were puzzled "But why?"
 

Tom: <Roderick> Look at the title of this fic, you idiot!  How much of
a fighting chance do you think we'll have?

Joel: <Roderick> Besides, if we don't get him, the MSTers will.

Crow and Tom: <bullies> Duh, good plan, boss!
 

>Roderick then stood up and thought "If the looniversity is gonna have
>ppl like him, then i must train my boys as well".
 

Crow: <Roderick> All right, you dirty rats!  We're going to train like
never before to beat those Loony Tunes!  Luckily, we've managed to
recruit a couple of soldiers from a recent war to train us personally.

Tom: <Nabiki> All right, maggots!  I want to see everyone
smashing through tables right now!  My friend, Kunou-Chan, will
demonstrate....

Joel: <Kunou> Remember, cretins!  Your feet must falls on
the table first before the rest of the body arrives!  Like this... TOGGG!!!
 

>Then at recess...
 

Tom: ARGH!!  That's it!  I don't care if this *IS* Loony Tune Land,
there's are *NO* recesses in University!  Oscar tried to pull this crap
in his high school too but *I'M* not going to let him get away with it!

Joel: Tom, calm down!  It's not worth getting all upset about it.

Crow: Besides, Oscar needed an excuse for an outdoor scene.  Maybe
it's lunchtime?
 

>Oscar was alone, sitting leg-crossed
 

Joel: Thank goodness for small favors.
 

>and eye closed,
 

Crow: But he kept the other one open for trouble.
 

>Shirley had finished her lunch, and suddenly found Oscar
 

Crow: See?  I told you it was lunchtime!

Tom: <sulking> Oh, shut up....

Joel: Shirley should have quit when Oscar was lost.
 

>"Like how does he have such high KI?" she thought, as she also
>could feel others's KI, after all she IS the spiritual girl in TTA,
 

Crow: Toons Transcending Afterlife?

Joel: Thoroughly Toasted Airheads?

Crow: Totally There Anonymous?

Joel: Tipsy Tibetan Alcoholics?

(Crow and Tom stare at Joel)

Joel: What?
 

>Oscar opened his eyes and smiled "Come on out Shirl i know yer there"
 

Tom: <megaphone> WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED... COME OUT
WITH YOUR AURA UP... AND NONE OF THAT WAYU WAYU
WAYU NONSENSE OR WE'LL OPEN FIRE!
 

>Shirley smiled guilty and strolled to his side "how'd ya know i was
>like here?" Oscar sitted normaly not cross-legged or anything, and
>replied
 

Joel: <Oscar> Duh, my foot's asleep!
 

>"As u, i can feel your KI, and i can even blast it out as a power beam"
 

Crow: Oh, what is he, Oscar Hinako-Sensei now?  Give me a break!
 

>Shirley blinked "Like, how do you do that?" Oscar grimaced
 

Tom: <Oscar>  You're... standing on... my... groin....
 

>"You mean, u don't know how to do it?...
 

Crow: <Marilyn Monroe> You just put your lips together and BLOW....
 

>i'm surprised, you, being the spiritual type in the classrom, and u don't
>know how to blast your KI...whoa"
 

Joel: <Oscar> Duh, Like, What are u, stupid or sumthing!?!

Tom:  <Druggie>  Hehehe... wo-ooah... This is some great shit....

Crow: <Druggie>  Yeah, this totally blasts my Ki....

Joel: <Joey Lawrence> Whoa....
 

>Shirly pouted "Like, just show it to me ok?" Oscar agreed, and stood
>up  "Look carefuly ok?" "Ok" Oscar got in his battle stance and
>concentrated some of his KI "Kaameee-Haameee.."
 

Tom: Haammee and cheeseee....

Joel: <singing> He's a fire starter, twisted fire starter....
 

>A blue energy ball formed between his 2 hands, Shirley was astounded
>and slightly backed up "HA!!" Oscar yelled, and released his
>Kame-Hame-ha into the atmosphere.
 

Crow: <Shirley> Like, what manner of man are you that can summon ki
energy without flint or tinder or skill or spirit or some junk like that?

Tom: <NASA> Roger that, control, We have an unidentified flying object
that just entered Earth's orbit.  We are checking it out now... It appears to
be some sort of Hawaiian royalty....

Joel: Look out!  I hear he packs a mean punch!
 

>Buster, Babs and the rest saw the blue beam emanate from the school,
>and quickly went to the source of it.
 

Crow: <British Accent> THERE'S THE WITCH!  BURN HER!!!
BURN HER!!!

Tom: I thought Oscar was outside the school?  Who's editing this fanfic
anyway?
 

>"Whoa, like Bravo!"
 

Tom: And the arts community weeps openly.

Crow: If they aren't too busy retching.
 

>Oscar chuckled a bit "Thanks, did you see how it's done?" he asked her,
 

Tom: <Shirley>  Like, beg your pardon?  I was talking to some celestial
spirits or some junk like that and I wasn't paying attention....

Crow: <Shirley> Like, you scream "HA!!" really, really loud like an
idiot, right?
 

>"Yep, like i'm gonna try it right now" Shirl responded and stood up
>"Ok, show me" Oscar said, steping back a little, Shirley then
>concentrated and eventually managed to get a small blue ball on her
>hands
 

(Joel frantically slams his hands over Crow and Tom's mouths before
they can say anything....)

Joel: Let it pass, guys... Let it pass....
 

>"WHOA i did it!" She yelled in excitation
 

Crow: Geez, there's enough Oscar-isms in this fanfic to fill a phone book.

Joel: <Alicia Silverstone> It's way existential.
 

>"Careful now" Oscar warned her, Shirley was TOO impressed by herself,
 

Joel: Oh yeah and Oscar's the very definition of humility.

Tom: <Shirley> Like, Wow!
 

>and launched it to directly to someone who was passing by that moment,
 

Crow: <Shirley> Like, hey stranger!  Look what I just learned... oops....
 

>BLAM! the beam hitted that person, and it was Little Beeper
>(YESSS!!)
 

Joel: Not the Beeper!  Aww....

Crow: Talk about a lucky shot....

Tom: Shirley blew up the Beeper? What if someone tries to page 'em?
 

>"Oops, like sorry Beeper" Oscar laughed at that
 

Tom: Ha ha ha!  Nothing like involuntary toonslaughter to give you a
chuckle!

Crow: I thought you needed a pure heart to be a Super Saiyen?  How
did someone like Oscar manage to become one?

Joel: Well, the Saiyen's *are* dying out....
 

>and then, almost everyone (Including Fifi) was learning the
>kame-hame-ha, so they could beat Perfecto prep. with no trouble at all.
 

Crow: Dragon Ball Z's going to need a PR campaign just to undo the
damage this Oscarfic is doing....

Joel: <Elmer Fudd>  So wong, shotgun... Hewwo Ki-Bwasts!

Tom: Something tells me Bugs will be hightailing it to Disney very
soon if this keeps up....
 

>Oscar left Shirley,
 

Tom: <as Shirley> Like, thank god!
 

>with the others as he went to get something to eat, but suddenly. Lola
>appeared "Oscar..." Oscar heard her and turned around "Yes Lola?"
>Lola smiled at Oscar and hugged him
 

Tom: <Oscar> Duh, I'm not the world's most physical guy, cuz when she
squeezed me tight, she nearly broke my spine....

Crow and Joel: <singing> Oh my Lola, lo lo lo Lola, lo lo lo Lola....
 

>"How do i say this..?"
 

Joel: Say it with feeling.

Crow: <Lola>  I hate you!

Joel: Nicely done.
 

>Oscar blushed lightly and suggested "Just say it Lola"
 

Crow: <Lola> It Lola.  Now what?
 

>he smiled coyly and breathed calmly "I like you" Lola finally
>managed to say, Oscar pouted as he knew he had to leave her soon
 

Joel: Why?  He didn't seem all that concerned with getting back to
Artemis before....?

Crow: He has to flee before Ted Turner sicks his lawyers on him.
 

>"I'm begining to repent from coming here..."
 

Joel: Repent, sinners, and ye shall be saved!
 

>he thought worried for her and Fifi,
 

Joel: Wow!  Check it out!  Oscar finally spelled the word *thought*
correctly!

Tom: Oh whee.  Oh joy.  Oh happy happy day.

Crow: Throw him a bone, why don't ya?

Joel: Geez, sorry I mentioned it.
 

>and said "I-I like you too coach but.."
 

Joel: <Oscar> Duh, I'm not really into bestiality... Oh, wait, yes I am.

Tom: <Oscar> Duh, look lady!  I just wanted a quickie from you, I don't
have time for your emotional commitment crap!
 

>Lola then let him go and asked "But what.." Oscar then thought
>"Wait a minute..if i fake my own death then, i wouldn't end like an
>asshole he he"
 

Tom: Hey, it worked for all those Marvel Comic Superheroes....

Crow: <Gump> Asshole is as Asshole does....

Joel: You know, this is actually kind of cryptic considering Oscar's
now presumed dead and he's got a shrine dedicated to him....

Crow: Yeah, him and Kurt Cobain....
 

>he shook his head and giggled "No nothing,"
 

Tom: No kidding.
 

>Time passed and at the end of the class day, everyone went out, and
>Fifi followed Oscar.
 

Tom: Oh, don't spare us any of the details, Oscar...

Joel: Follow that bir... uh... skun... I mean... hermaphrodite!
 

>But Oscar didn't had an excact place to go,
 

Crow: Go to hell!  Go directly to hell!  Do not pass go!  Do not collect
$200!

Tom: Speaking of going... It's time, guys.
 

* * *
 

SATELLITE OF LOVE
 

 "Bring out the box!"

        Crow did so and Joel reached inside to grab a bunch of fan
letters and began to read them out loud.

        "As always, to protect the privacy of the people who wrote in,
we've left off the last name and e-mail address of the senders.  Don't
worry, they're all genuine."  Tom pointed out.

        "Our first letter comes to us from Elliottx and he writes....
 

*I really like your MSTings and hope you continue to do them.  I am a
huge fan of MST3k and think that you easily make the real writers
proud.  Just wanted to thank you for the laughs.
                                                     Elliottx*

         "You're welcome, Elliottx!  It's out pleasure!"  Tom replied
cheerfully.

 "Our next letter come from Thomas, regarding our X-mas
MSTing....
 

*This was really, really funny, all the way through.  It really shows
how much better carefully planned MST's done over a long time are
than the quick C&C variety (though I've never been too much of a fan
of those in the first place.)  I especially appreciated the "Be Like
Billy !" reference (I miss that show) and the "This is from Dr.
Thinker's Own Mind" continuing gag, which worked much better than
things of that type usually do.  The Inspector Gadget section was
great, too.

This was an excellent MSTing of a really bad fanfic, and the host
segments weren't too long or too short.  Good job.*
 

 "Thanks, Thomas!  That makes us feel all warm and toasty
inside."  Crow replied.

 "One thing we've tried to do is keep the length of our MSTings
reasonable.  That's why this Oscarfic is divided into four parts and the
last few have been split into two parts.  We appreciate any and all
suggestions from our readers on what format you like best."  Joel added.

 "Next, we have a letter from Blair and she writes...."

*Hi,
    My name is blair and I just had to mail you about your MSTing. I
read a few and had to stop mid paragraph because I was laughing too
hard and couldn't breath. I felt a little dizzy too. It is extremely funny
when you you MST Oscar. Well I had to say it. Keep up the good work
 
Blair*
 

 "I'm getting a little dizzy from all this praise.  But I love it!  I
LOVE IT!!!  BWAHAHAHAHA!!!"  Tom exclaimed as he laughed.

 "Geez, get over yourself, Servo!"  Crow muttered.

 "Next up, we have a letter from Ryan and he writes...."

*wonderful! Up there with your best MSTies!! next, time, I just need to
remember not to try to drink anything while reading it.. ^_^ (boy, do
those computer lab monitors look at you funny when you spew coke all
over their computers.....^_^;;;)

keep up the good work!*
 

 "Oh, who am I kidding?! I LOVE C&C TOO!!!"  Crow
screamed as he and Tom danced cheek to cheek around the bridge.
Joel chuckled at them before pulling out the final letter."

 "This letter...."  Joel began.  "....means a great deal to me and
it really made my day.  It was sent to us after our last MSTing,
*Trapped*...."
 

*I think there is a pretty good reason why you've won so many awards
for MSTing fanfiction. As soon as I can think of it, I'll let you know. :P

Actually, it's blatantly obvious: Somehow you find the *worst* fanfics,
and then disembowel them with riffs that are actually humorous!
There's no way I could do something like this (the excellent riffs or
possess the intestinal fortitude to wade through so many bad fics
unaided). Take a bow.

Jamie*
 

 Joel folded up the letter carefully and smiled.  "Thank you for
the kind words.  They really mean a lot to us.  It really makes us feel
good that we can make people laugh and we hope we can continue to
do so for a very long time to come.  But in all fairness, our riffs
wouldn't have been as funny without the C&C and assistance of people
such as Megane 6.7, Gary Kleppe, Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong and Robin
"Lunari" Seabaugh.  These four people have all been very helpful and
supportive and they deserve to take a bow too.  We couldn't have done
it without them...."

 "Way to stay within the fourth wall, Joel!"  Tom remarked
wryly.

 "Hey, it's a fanfic and he's relaxed!"  Crow added.

 Joel sighed and was about to give a sarcastic reply when
alarms and sirens suddenly rang out.

        "OHHHH, WE'VE GOT OSCARFIC SIGN!!!"  Joel cried out.
 

CONTINUED IN OSCAR TOON PART 4....
 

Three down.  One more to go.  Will the mysterious being stalking Oscar
be enough to stop him?  Will Lola and Fifi be able to escape the clutches
of the egotistical Oscar?  Only one way to find out.  ;)
  Part FOUR