(The future isn't what it used to be....)
"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON ONE)
EPISODE 8: MEN OF BOKKEN
(A Ranma 1/2 MSTing)
MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7 and Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong
This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are
the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just
covering
my own ass here folks....
"Ranma 1/2 is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and all the
distributors of her work.
"Men of Bokken" is the property of M. Llave and he's welcome to it.
I do not intend to offend him for making fun of his work like this
but
I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think
of this
as another form of C&C. ;)
This fanfic is rated PG-13 for mature content.
THE HOLOCABANA
21:02 HOURS
"I guess it's not a good day to be a bad guy, eh, Forrester?"
Crow T. Robot stood over the terrified form of Dr. Clayton
Forrester. His face was painted white and he wore a black trenchcoat
while the lime green labcoat of Dr. F was torn and tattered.
A videotape suddenly appeared in Crow's hand and he threw it
into Dr. F's face, another tape taking it's place. "Each of these
represents
a film... A film that you made us watch... Manos... Santa Claus Vs.
The
Martians... Mr. B. Natural... not to mention all the terrible Sailor
Moon
fanfics you've subjected us to lately...." Crow growled menacingly.
"P-Please... Have mercy...." Dr. F. begged him.
"Mercy? The same mercy you showed us when you made us
watch Artemis's Lover? NEVER! It's time you find out what
it feels
like to be on the receiving end of your... EXPERIMENTS!!!"
And with that, Crow slammed his hand on Dr. Forrester's
forehead. Dr. F screamed as the tortured images of numerous bad
films, flooded his mind.
"It's too much! TOO MUCH!!!" Dr. F bellowed as he
covered his eyes, trying to rid himself of the images he was forced
to witness. Corny special effects, long winded dialogue, gratuitous
overacting, lack of interesting plot, strings used for levitation,
actors
looking off-screen for their lines, flies buzzing around the actors
as they
tried to carry a conversation, and it just kept going on and on....
"All the pictures you forced us to watch... ALL AT ONCE... ALL
FOR YOU...." Crow finished in a deadly whisper.
"Crow?"
Crow spun around to see Joel standing by the door, unaffected
by the simulated rain pouring from the black sky. "Not now, Joel!
Crow begged. This is the best part of the program!"
Joel shook his head. "As much as I enjoy seeing Dr. F getting
what he deserves, the loadpan needs cleaning and you've already left
it for two nights in a row. It has to be done now."
"Aw, man!" Crow sighed. "All right. Magic Voice,
end program
and save." A moment later, the scenario vanished.
"Sorry about that Crow but it's not like you haven't run that
program a million times already in the last week...." Joel said.
"Yeah, yeah...." Crow grumbled as he followed Joel out of
the
Holocabana. As they made their way to the bridge, they noticed
the red
light flashing.
"Hey Joel, the Mads are calling." Tom announced.
* * *
DEEP 13
"Ah, if it isn't Huey Lewis and the News...." Dr. Forrester
exclaimed as his viewscreen came to life. "I trust you have your
experiment ready for my evaluation, Joel?"
"Yes, sir...." Joel replied as he placed a Sony Playstation
on
the counter. Attached to the Playstation was a small black box
with
the initials *FFSUCK* in gold letters. Taking a few moments to
set up
everything, he proceeded with the demonstration of his invention.
"You may have heard about Final Fantasy VII, one of the
hottest games out at the moment. Just about everybody with a
Playstation
is giving this game a crack and just about everyone seems to love it.
People are flooding into stores to buy them, some of them going as
far as
renting it several times in a row at local Blockbusters to play this
game."
"So what I've done is taken the basic graphic design of the game
and transferred it into this machine attached to the Playstation...."
Joel
gestured at the black box. "Which in turn, allows you to create
any
type of RPG fantasy world that you want, any characters, locations,
powers, weapons, etc. that you want and when you're done, you simply
program the box to send the design back into the Playstation and viola!
Instantly, you've got the game of your dreams with the same quality
in
graphics, sound and everything else as the original Final Fantasy VII!
"You can even transfer all the characters you have from
previous games into the new ones. Imagine being about to see Tifa
Lockheart in every FMV sequence. You would never miss out on her
*talent*." Crow added.
"And best of all..." Joel continued. "When
Final Fantasy VII
gets old after a few years and the next one comes up, it automatically
upgrades the box to meet the specifications of the new game by utilizing
a special memory chip that releases a series of nanoprobes into the
game's matrix, altering it to meet the specifications of the game you
choose to design. Since each game in unique, space can be made
for
what you DO want in your game and what you don't want can be
compressed and quietly tucked away. I've decided to call it "Final
Fantasy Seven Universe Construction Kit" or "FFSUCK" What
do
you think, sirs?"
Dr. Forrester cocked an eyebrow. "I must admit, Joel, that's
quite an invention. You might want to work a bit on that name
though...."
Joel shrugged. "Best I could come up with in short notice."
Dr. Forrester nodded in understanding. Then an evil grin
came over his face as he prepared to unleash his own diabolical
creation.
"My invention this week deals with the recent addition of
new cast member, Seven of Nine, as played by Jeri Ryan, to 'Star Trek:
Voyager'. This Borg turned human female has vastly improved the
ratings for this show thanks to the fact she's wearing a skin tight
suit
and all the males who previously dismissed the show as a weak spin-off
are now tuning in to the program in droves. This has encouraged
me
to do something similar to boost out own ratings...."
Joel blinked in surprise. "You're sending someone else up
here with us? A gorgeous woman like the one on Voyager?"
Dr. Forrester laughed. "Of course not, you doorknob!
No, I
plan to use the very satellite you're living in to broadcast a massive
jamming signal that will effectively black out any scenes with Jeri
Ryan
on Voyager and instead, broadcast her image on OUR show so the 18-25
Male Demographic will tune in to us and we'll double, perhaps even
triple our ratings!"
"Sayyyyy... that doesn't sound half bad." Crow remarked.
"Sure, millions of Trekkers will be denied the chance to see this woman
but we'll still get to see her every week and our rating's will skyrocket!"
"Sounds great to me, sirs!" Tom agreed enthusiastically.
"I'm glad you think so, boys... because if we're right and the
ratings DO go through the roof because of her presence, then I dare
say, I won't be needing the three of YOU on the bridge any more...
and
you know what THAT means...."
Joel and the bots stared at the screen with horror.
"Y... You don't mean....?" Crow stammered.
"That's right! Since our ex-voyager employee will
be capturing
the viewer's... *ahem*... attentions, I can keep you inside the theater,
showing you crappy movies and fanfics non-stop with NO BREAKS
WHATSOEVER! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Joel found his mouth had gone dry. Then suddenly he spoke
again. "Wait a minute, sirs! What about the female viewers
that don't
appreciate Jeri Ryan like the guys do?"
"That's easy." Dr. Forrester replied smugly. "We'll
put in a
silhouette of Duo Maxwell in the theater since most women seem to be
attracted to him for some reason." Dr. Forrester shrugged. "Anyway,
while you await your replacement, your experiment this week is a
delightfully horrid short, 'Men of Bokken' by M. Llave, who you may
remember as the creator of one of your past experiments, "The War".
Until later, TTFN!"
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
"You're evil! EVIL!!!" Tom shouted as the image of
Dr.
Forrester winked off the screen. Then he turned to Joel, panic
in his
voice. "What are we going to do now, Joel? Dr. F's
going to replace us
like Kari Wuhrer replaced John Rhyes-Daves on Sliders!"
"Hey, I happen to like Kari Wuhrer!" Crow retorted.
"You would...." Tom grumbled as he turned away.
Joel placed a sympathetic hand on Tom's shoulder. "It's
not
all that bad, Tom. Even if Dr. Forrester does keep us in the
theater
all the time, at least none of us will be alone...."
Before Tom could say anything else, alarms and sirens
suddenly rang out.
"OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!" Joel cried out.
"So what? Why should we go into the theater if we're going
to be kicked out anyway?" Tom replied angrily.
"Come on, Tom... You know Dr. F will shut off the oxygen in the
satellite if any of us refuse to enter the theater...." Joel
cautioned his friend.
Tom seemed to hesitate a moment longer and then reluctantly
allowed Joel to scoop him up into his arms. Joel then walked
towards
the theater doors, Crow walking behind him....
(Door 6: It's made of "Barbed Wire" director cuts. You force yourself
not to sneak a peak.)
(Door 5: It's made of hay. You search it and find a needle to pick the lock.
(Door 4: It falls towards you, missing your foot by millimeters.)
(Door 3: It's made of ice. You use a bag of road salt to melt a hole.)
(Door 2: It's made of solid rock. Fortunately, Ryouga was wandering
by
at the time and smashed a path for you.)
(Door 1: It swirls open from the center.)
(Door .7: The camera pans downward where a small hatch pops open.)
Joel walks into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow
following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented
Tom
from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of
the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right.
>Men Of Bokken
Joel: Previous Title: Men with blunt wooden sticks.
Crow: The blue thunder's rumblin' and It's raining men of bokken all over!
Tom: Hallelujah!
>a Fan fic by: M. Llave
Joel: M. Bison's smarter brother?
>Hi again all you Ranma fan fic lovers!
Tom: <M. Llave> And all you Artemis lovers out there, take
a hike!
>This is my fourth try at one and I hope I'm up to it. It's still
in its
>draft stage and pls. comment so that it would get better. If
it sucks
Joel: ...pls don't tell me, or you'll hurt my feelings!
>then mail me at mig@philonline.com.ph and if it doesn't then still
>mail me to tell me how to improve this thing.
Tom: <M. Llave> Just love me, dammit!
Crow: <Howard Stern> Put in LESBIANS! More LESBIANS!!!
>Pls. Enjoy my trash!
Joel: It's cheap, white and it's delivered to you *gladly* by a guy
in a
white leisure suit and a deep voice....
>-Book One-
Tom: Adapted from the movie by Francis Ford Coppola.
Joel: If you only read one book this year... You must be watching too
much anime....
>Intro:
>Nabiki walked up the hill with her small daughter.
Joel: To fetch a pail of water.
>She held her daughters soft hand calmly. As she neared the top
of the
>hill she looked at the graves around them.
Crow: You know, I hear people are just dying to get in there.
Tom: Oh, ha ha, Crow.
Joel: Hey, Crow, you know how many people are dead in there? All of them!
Crow: Hee hee hee!
Tom: <groans>
>The wooden boards which served as the grave stones glowed a dark
>yellow as the sun was setting.
Joel: Wooden boards? Are they visiting the graveyard set from
'Plan 9
From Outer Space'?
>She held a flower in her other hand and so did her daughter.
She
>looked pretty much the same after all this time
Crow: Except for the mustache.
>and her daughter was an exact replica of her only smaller.
Tom: <Nabiki, a la, Dr. Evil> You complete me, Mini-Me....
>Her eyes slowly glistened with tears as she neared a grave with a sword
>stabbed on the middle of it.
Tom: <Nabiki> Those bastards! It's bad enough they spray painted
his
tombstone but this is going TOO FAR!!!
Joel: Maybe someone put that there in the hope that a bolt of lightning
would strike it and bring the dead back to life?
Crow: Hey, it worked for Johnny 5.
>She stopped for awhile to look at it as a cold wind blew on the both
of
>them.
Tom: <the wind> Am I... turning you on yet?
>She continued walking slowly towards this grave stabbed with a sword.
>When she reached the front of it she knelt down and embraced the
>cold piece of wood that was erected on the grave.
Crow: Hey, check it out, Nabiki's holding an erection!
Joel: Crow, she's just holding wood that happens to be erected!
Crow: So that means she's holding erected wood, huh? Hm...
it's is
morning after all, and you know how guys are in the morning....
Joel: <wincing> Okay, Crow....
>"Oh Bokeru…, I will be with you soon…", she said tears flowing
>down her face.
All: <singing> BOKERU! How do ya do? BOKERU!
What did you say?
BOKERU! BO-KE-RU!!!
Joel: <snaps his fingers in frustration> And I missed him again!
>Her daughter was beside her also embracing the piece of wood,
>tears in her eyes, murmuring, "Daddy ! Daddy !".
Tom: I don't know whether to laugh or throw up....
Crow: <daughter> Ow! A splinter! Daddy, you need a shave!
Joel: Boy, I hope the wind doesn't pick up any more or they'll have
to
burn her dad just to stay warm....
Tom: <Bokeru> But I specifically requested NOT to be cremated!
>Nabiki looked at her beautiful little daughter and she turned
>back again to the wooden board and said, "We miss you so much!",
>and her tears flowed even harder.
Tom: Geez, It's just wood! Go out and cut down another tree, buy
a
couple of baseball bats or something but get on with your life already!
Crow: <Nabiki sobbing> Oh, dear, sweet, wood... I miss you even more
than my worthless husband. I miss those days when Bokeru left
to fight
somewhere and I would open my kimono a little bit and ever so slowly....
Joel: Hokay, that's enough.
>She looked at her back and saw the object that started it all, the
object
>that had brought her to him and the object that would soon later take
>him from her.
Tom: A flower?
Joel: A gun?
Crow: A rubber chicken with a pulley in a middle?
>She looked at the white bandanna which was tied loosely at its handle.
>She slowly reached for it and tightened it a little more. As
she touched
>the old fabric she memories came rushing by, as if it was only a moment
>ago;
Tom: <Nabiki> Birth, childhood, teenager, Kuno, Ranma, money, more
money, lot's and lot's of money, even more money, adulthood, second
childhood, first child, death of husband, loss of wood. Whew,
that's the
whole lot!
>that this metal bokken had changed their lives
Tom: Metal bokken? I always thought bokkens were considered wooden
swords....
Crow: Bokken: Version 1.2
>and had made her husband a man of the bokken...
All: <imitating trumpet fanfare>
>Men of Bokken -Book One-
>by: M. Llave
Tom: <still imitating trumpet fanfare>
Crow: Starring: Steve Reeves as Tatewaki Kuno! Jane Fonda as Nabiki
Tendo! Miles O'Keefe as Ranma Saotome!
Joel: And Jerry Mathers... as the Bokeru.
>Chapter 1: "The Stick"
Tom: Wow... I tell ya, some people have trouble coming up with titles
for their chapters that not only sound cool but are relevant to the
upcoming scene, but not M. Llave, he knows what works and he sticks
to it....
Joel: I dunno... if this chapter is as corny as the prologue, we might
as
well starting calling it "The Shtick"
>The wind blew weakly on Furikan High.
Crow: The wind should cut down on smoking....
Tom: Either that or it's worn out from blowing Nabiki....
Joel: Tom!
Tom: What? The wind WAS blowing Nabiki and her daughter,
wasn't it?!?
Joel: <sighs> Never mind.
>It was another typical day there with the exclusion of the fact that
>there was a new being entering the school.
Tom: And his lightness is as unbearable as ever.
>He wore the uniform of a bokkeneir but had no stick on his side.
Joel: Bokkeneir? Kuno has groupies?
Tom: <Kuno> All for one and both Akane and the pigtailed girl for
myself!
>Only a wooden ruler about a foot long filled the place for his sword.
Crow: And, as we all know, you can always tell the measure of a man
by
the size of his ruler....
>He walked slowly into the building not minding the huge crowed of
>men who were waiting for something to enter the gate.
Crow: Crowed of men'? What does that mean?
Tom: Perhaps they were all in fanfics we MSTed?
Joel: You're right! There's Judge Brainitite having a drink with
Nuku
Nuku! And over there! It's Solider 1 from "Sailor
Jupiter Vs. Godzilla"
Hey, gotten over the guilt of leaving your partner to die yet?
Crow: <Oscar> So, Shampoo... I hear you change into a cat with cold water?
Joel: <Shampoo> Aiya!
>He walked calmly down he aisle towards the Kendo Club training hall.
He
>reached the place and slid the door open to reveal a multitude of
>men waving sticks at each other.
Tom: Oh, look. They're playing fetch.
Crow: Either that or someone took the term 'prick waving contest' a
little
TOO seriously....
Joel: <Kendo Club Member> Okay, who let all these flies in here?!?
>"Who is the leader of thus Kendo Club, I challenge him to duel",
>he said with a low deep voice.
Joel: Nice Grimlock impression! Can you do Soundwave?
>All the men turned around and looked at him. They say a sight
>resemblance of this man with their infamous leader, Kuno.
Crow: Huh? Why would they say that?
Tom: I think the author got the words *say* and *sight* mixed up.
It
should be *saw* and *slight*
Joel: Too bad the author didn't *say* that *sight* error before posting
this story....
>They all laughed and ran toward the new student. Thirty seven
sticks
>pointed towards this new student as he took his ruler out.
Tom: Time to see who the true *RULER* of the Kendo Club shall be!
Crow: Having forgotten their bokkens at home, the Kendo Club quickly
improvised by wielding their pool cues.
Joel: It's the Magnificent Thirty Seven!
>The Kendo club members all gave a battle cry before hitting the new
guy.
All: <Kendo Club, singing> WE WILL... WE WILL... SMITE THEE!!!
>Akane finished off the second to the last man who blocked her
>path into the school.
Crow: Sayyyyyyyy....
Joel: It's not what you're think, hentai-brain.
Crow: Heh.
>Kuno was next and he was about to pronounce his daily stupid
>"Welcome to School Akane" speech,
Joel: <Kuno> We have a wonderful athletic program here at Furinkan,
Akane, along with the very finest in educational standards and academic
excellence! And have you visited our new cafeteria....?
>when thirty seven men screamed in pain as they flew out of the
>school building.
Tom: It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's SUPERMEN!
Crow: <men> WE CAN FLY! WE CAN FLY! WE CAN'T FLY!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *crunch*
>"What the!", Ranma blurted in shock.
Tom: That's what I was about to say! Where the hell did Ranma
come from?!?
>"Ranma!!! What did you do now!", Akane yelled at him.
>"Nothing Akane! Geez always blaming everything on me!"
Tom: Geez's sure got a temper, that's for sure....
>"Silence insolent whelp! You have caused enough damage to the
>people of this school. Die Ranma Saotome!!!!!!!!!!!!", yelled
Kuno as
>he ran towards Ranma bokken in his hands.
Joel: <Kuno> This attack might have failed the last three thousand
times
I tried it, but THIS time....!
>As he ran he heard the sound of a falling body over his head.
Joel: Must be a board meeting.
Crow: More specifically, Kuno heard the screams of fear and a rendition
of the lord's prayer coming from the body as it plummeted towards the
earth....
Tom: If a body falls over someone's head, and that someone is Kuno,
and no one is around to hear it, does anyone cheer?
>He looked up and saw the new student. He yelled at him as he
got
>squished.
All: <Kuno> TOGGG!!!
>"Oh sorry, do you know a Tatewaki Kuno here?", he asked the
>flattened Kuno beside him.
Tom: Wait a minute! If the student fell on top of Kuno, then how
can
he be talking beside him?
Crow: And what exactly blew him into the air like those other thirty-seven
guys with the sticks? Did someone use a Hiryu-Shoten Ha or what?
>"I am him! Tatewaki Kuno the team captain of Furikan High's
>Kendo Club, you insolent whelp!
Joel: Correct me if I'm wrong, but since when has Kuno ever used the
term "whelp"?
Tom: Poetic license.
Crow: In Kuno's hands, that's a license to kill.
>For this prepare to see Hell!", Kuno shouted at this new being.
Joel: Hey! It's bad enough you rip off Shakespeare but now you
have to
go stealing Ryouga's rantings as well, Kuno?
Crow: Never mind that. I want to know what species this new student
is. They keep referring to him as a *being*....
>"Wait I'm… Ah…", the new student said as he dodged Kuno's
>bokken.
Joel: ...Megami-Sama?
Crow and Tom: My Goddess! Joel finally got it right!
>***So he has got some skill in him, well let us put thy to
>test!***
Tom: Was that supposed to be one of Kuno's thoughts? Or the new
student's?
>"You mock the great Tatewaki Kuno by flattening him, die
>fiend!!! Take this tembatsu dadadadaddadadadada!!!"
Tom: Kuno's trying to smite the student by imitating a machine gun?
>"Ah!!!", the new student shouted. ***He knows the secret move!
>Well then I will fight fire with fire***
Joel: <new student> Eat this, punk! RAT-TATTATATATATATAT!!!!
Crow: First person to run out of spit, loses!
>"TEMBATSU DADADADADADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", the new student
>screamed at Kuno as he replaced his ruler with a bokken kept at his
>back.
Tom: Along with the wind.
>"What the!", Ranma blurted out as he saw the two beings slashing
>their bokkens at each other. Suddenly the two went flying and
>slammed on to trees opposite each other.
Joel: You know, both of them are so good, I just can't decide who to
cheer for....
Crow: How about Nabiki? She's probably cleaning up at the betting
table
because of this.
>The two stood up again and Kuno asked the new student a question,
Tom: <Kuno> What... is your name?
Joel: <new student> Uh, the author hasn't given me one yet.
Tom: <Kuno> What... is your quest?
Joel: <new student> Ummm... I'm not really sure of that either.
Tom: <Kuno> What... is the airspeed of a laden swallow?
Joel: <new student> European or African?
Tom: <Kuno> African.
Joel: <new student> Heh heh... huh? Uh... er... I don't know!
AHHHHHHH!!!
>"How does thy know thou attack!?", he said weakly
>"What? What did you say? I'm a little deaf can you please
peak
>louder."
Crow: <Kuno> Well... okay. Just give me a few seconds
to
pull out my half naked pictures of the pig-tailed girl and....
Tom: Ick!
Joel: <new student> orry! an ou epeat hat ne ore ime?
>Kuno ran forward and cried, "DIE!!!".
Crow: <Kuno> Die Hard! Die Harder!! Die Hard with a Vengeance!!!
Tom: Just die, already.
>The new student jumped up a tree and greeted Kuno with his
>tongue.
All: AUUUUUUGHHH!!!
Tom: Let me guess... The new student is French?
Crow: I betcha the girls LOVE him.
>"Beeeeeh!!! Pwpwpwpwwh! You think I would.. agh aghhh…",
>Bokeru said as he grasped his stomach and fell down the tree.
Joel: <Bokeru> I just realized what I did! It was really gross! Blaugh!
Crow: By the way... who's Bokeru?
>Kuno stopped for a while and wondered how could this be?
Tom: We've been wondering the same thing since this fanfic began.
>Meanwhile Akane ran towards the new student in pain.
Joel: <Akane> Owwww! Welcome to... owwww! Furinkan...
owwww!
High... oh, it hurts! It hurts! Owie owie owww!
Crow: Cute, Joel....
>Ranma walked closely by her and though, ***Geez guess he ate some of
>Akane's food.***
Crow: Geez, can't Ranma start a sentence without using the word *geez*?
Joel: <Akane> Geez, always blaming everything on my cooking!
Tom: Oh, like you're one to talk, Joel.
Joel: Heh.
>"Hey buddy are you all right?", Ranma asked as Akane neared the
>being in pain.
Joel: Somebody should give her a Tylenol or something.
Tom: <Akane> Ohhhh... I ache all over... I shouldn't have overdone
it with the exercise video... Damn you, Richard Simmons! Damn
you and
your sweaty oldies to hell!
>"Hahahahaha, insolent fool, this is your fate for messing with
>the great Tatewake Kuno! I smite thee!!!"
Crow: Glad to see Kuno's as humble as ever when it comes to winning.
Tom: Hey, give him a break. He doesn't win that often.
>"Dumb jerk its my liver!!! I have some sickness idiot! And I'm
>the guy you ordered from the agency, I'm Bokeru!!!",
Joel: <Bokeru> Eat my polka dot shorts, Kuno! I'm BOKERU!!!
Crow: Just wait till the rest of Bokeru's posse hears about this!
Bear,
Marigold and Humpty Dumpy are going to get medieval on Kuno's ass!
>hey yelled at him as Ranma and Akane helped bring Bokeru to the
>clinic.
Crow: Helpful, aren't they?
Tom: <hey> Hey! HEY! I'm talking to you! HEY YOU! HEY!!!
Joel: Hey is for horses and cows, grass is cheaper.
>Out of curiosity Ranma left Akane and Bokeru for a while and
>asked Kuno what that was all about.
Crow: How the hell do you run out of curiosity?
Tom: When you've killed the cat! Thank you!
>"Hey Kuno what was that guy talking about?"
Joel: Does Ranma REALLY expect a logical answer out of Kuno?
>"Ah murmuring about his defeat! Alas he is not worthy to be
>called an opponent of Tatewake Kuno! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!"
Crow: Tatewake Kuno? Is he a distant relative to Tatewaki?
Joel: Yeah, second vowel, once removed.
>"Well he really is the brother of Kodatchi", Ranma said to
>himself.
Tom: Brother of WHO?
Crow: Kodatchi? Must be Tatetake's sister.
>"RANMA!!!", a Bokeru carrying Akane shouted.
Tom: You mean there's more than one Bokeru? And he's carrying Akane?
Crow: <Bokeru> Somebody help me get this girl to a hospital!
She's in pain!
>"Quit blabbering and help me carry this guy you dummy!", she
>yelled at him.
Joel: Gee, I've heard of being nice to a new student, but really....
Tom: They ought to call her Pollyanna Tendo!
>"Okay! Okay, I'm coming I'm coming!", he yelled back as he
>turned his face away from Kuno.
Crow: He's turning the other cheek then?
Tom: His body, however, continued to face Kuno and there was a loud
cracking noise....
>Chapter 2: "In the Navy!!!"
Tom and Crow: <singing> We can sail the seven seas!
Joel: I'd rather put my mind at ease.
>If you want to suggest, comment or anything about this fan fic
Crow: Might I suggest clarifying what that scene at the beginning of
the
story was all about?
Tom: Anything? Can we feed it to the sharks?
>then mail me at: mig@philonline.com.ph
Joel: I don't know about you guys, but I've had my philonline.com.ph
of
this fanfic.
Tom: Let us depart to a better place....
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
"Joel, the Mads are calling again...."
Joel hit the red button without much enthusiasm.
Dr. Forrester's image appeared on the screen, a scowl evident
on his features. Joel took this immediately as a good sign. "What's
going
on, sir?" Joel inquired curiously.
Dr. Forrester heaved a sigh as he replied. "It... seems
that I
was wrong about Jeri Ryan replacing you on the bridge. When word
got out to the fans that you were going to be set decorations instead
of featured players, they threatened to switch to Bob Saget and America's
Funniest Home Videos. Personally, I would have let them all go
but I
can't keep my budget up without your ratings so it appears you'll be
resuming
your normal duties on board the Satellite... for now."
Joel couldn't help but grin as Dr. Forrester's image winked off
the screen once more. "Isn't that great guys? Now we can
go wherever we
want on the Satellite like before!"
Crow shrugged while Tom yawned.
Joel leaned over close to them. "Guys... I REALLY think
you
should be a LITTLE more enthusiastic... considering our audience just
saved our butts...."
Crow and Tom immediately perked up and began cheering and
whistling. Joel rolled his eyes and chuckled to himself.
"Sometimes you
guys are a real pantload...."
* * *
DEEP 13
Dr. Forrester grumbled to himself as he stared into the file
drawer where some of the very worst in fanfiction and movies were
kept, just waiting to be unleashed on Joel and his friends. He
absentmindedly reached into the file drawer and randomly withdrew
a fanfic. He stared at the title for a few moments and was about
to
return it to the drawer when he paused and looked closer at the title.
Then he read the first few pages, not daring to go any further without
risking his own mental health. Then he closed the fanfic and
smiled.
"Dr. F?"
Dr. Forrester looked up to see his assistant, T.V's Frank,
standing nearby, looking nervous. "Well, Frank, what are you
waiting
for? Push the button!"
"Uh, yes Dr. F!" Frank replied as he sauntered over to the
console and deftly pressed the button just as Dr. Forrester muttered
under his breath....
"Perhaps I've been a little too soft on Joel, lately....
THE REAL END.
(Feel free to hum the closing theme as you read my author's notes.)
MSTing number 8... Whew! I can't believe I've actually managed
to
write and maintain a series. I know this MSTing was short compared
to the others. I wanted to find out if you prefer MSTings of
this size or
whether you prefer the longer ones. Let me know what you think.
Normally, at this point, I would give very special thanks to Jeffrey
"Oneshot" Wong, whom, without his help and C&C, I wouldn't have
been able to finish this MSTing. However, this time he went above
and
beyond the call of duty by working together with me on this project
and
he deserves as much credit for this MSTing as I do. :)
I'd also like to thank Timothy McLees, Luna and Artemis, Chris
Bergstrom, Jay Dee Archer (Jupiter Knight) and Sakura for being nice
enough to post my MSTings on their webpages. If there's anyone
else I
missed, I apologize.
Finally I'd like to thank M. Llave for writing "Men of Bokken" and
giving us a lot of material to work with. I hope you're
not too offended.
If you are, feel free to MST my own works, I won't mind a bit.
C&C, as always, is appreciated. (fcasper@yesic.com) (jeffwong@li.net)
Feel free to send in any anime fanfic that you would like to see MSTed
and I'll take a look at it. Also, if you're interested in seeing
any previous
episodes of this series, you can check them out at the following webpages
or, if you wish, I'd be happy to e-mail them to you. ;)
Also, there's a meeting of fanfic writers every Sunday, starting at
3:30
P.M. at bachman.newberry.edu on IRC. New members are always welcome.
Sincerely,
Megane 6.7 and Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong
A MSTing for all Seasons
http://www.nabiki.com/mst
A full archive of all Mystery Science Theater 6.7 episodes, Megane
6.7
fanfiction, and collaborations!
Shizen's Versatile Home Page V3.0
http://svhp.webjump.com/
(Contains links to my MSTings and fanfics)
(Alternate site: http://www.tass.org/fanfic/MST3k/)
Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/
SEASON ONE
------------------
101- "GAMES" by Artemis (SM Lemon)
102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (Original Draft) by Oscar
(SM Lemon)
103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA" by The Flashman
(SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER)
104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic)
w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin (R1/2 Fanfic)
105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic)
106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson (Nuku Nuku Fanfic)
107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton
(La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover)
108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic)
109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky
(SM/WWF Crossover)
w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon (SM/RL Crossover)
110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER
CHRISTMAS" by Dr. Thinker (SM Christmas Fanfic)
SEASON TWO
-------------------
201- "THAT GIRL" PT. 1-2 by Oscar (SM Lemon)
202- "VIRGIN WARRIOR SAILOR MOON" by Umino (SM Lemon)
203- "*R*P*M*" by Flynn (SM/SPAWN Crossover)
204- "RANKO'S LIFE" PT. 1-2 by Hitomi Ichinohei (R1/2 Fanfic)
205- "TRAPPED" by Mr_Jazz (SM Lemon)
206- "OSCAR TOON" PT. 1-4 by Oscar (SM/DBZ/WB Crossover)
207- "CALIFORNIA DREAMING" by Shakari
(Mutiple Crossover Lemon)
208- "A RANMA 1/2 FANFIC" PT. 1-2 by Sheep (R1/2 Fanfic)
209- "TRIANGLE TANGLE" by CATS (SM Lemon)
210- "URUSEI YATSURA: THE KIDNAPPING" by Shutaro Mendou
(UY Lemon)
SEASON THREE
----------------------
301- "A WET DREAM COME TRUE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Lemon)
302- "TORTURED ECHO" PT. 1-4 by Trakal (R1/2 Fanfic)
303- "RANMA KILLS!" PT. 1-2 by Sir Asayogure (R1/2 Fanfic)
304- "OKONOMIYAKI SUMMER" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic)
w/short "UNDER THE MISTLETOE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic)
305- "XMAS SPECIAL: A CHRISTMAS FIT FOR A POKEMON"
by Dr. Thinker (Pokemon Christmas Fanfic)
306- "9-BALL DREAMS" PT. 1-2 by Mr_Jazz (SM Crossover Lemon)
307- "WINTER" by Joseph Palmer (R1/2 Fanfic)
308- "UKYO GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES" PT. 1-2 by R_Vincent
(R1/2 Lemon)
SHORTY!
-------------
101- SUBLIMINALLY SEDUCE WOMEN INSTANTLY!
102- THE UGLIEST WOMEN ON THE NET!
103- PHEROMONES!
104- THE INTERNET SPY AND YOU!!
OTHER MSTINGS I'VE CONTRIBUTED TO
---------------------------------------------------------
"DIMISIONAL TROUBLE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic)
"MOONDUSTED" by Stephen Ratliff (SM/TNG Crossover)
Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/
"THE COUNTESS CHRONICLES" by Lin Lin (SM Dark Lemon)
"9 1/2 CHIPMUNKS" by Toon Dreams (Rescue Rangers Yaoi Lemon)
Lefty's MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/MSTings/index.htm
'MYSTERY WRESTLING THEATER 3000', POST 105: DOUBLE TROUBLE!
(Two interviews with the Ultimate Warrior and '3:16 Rulzs!' by Oracle)
Website Number 9 MSTings
http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml
"THE DAY OF EMERGENCE" by Jeffrey Lee
(Ranma 1/2/Eddings/SM Crossover)
"REDHEADS" by Robert Haynie
(Slayers/Ranma 1/2 Crossover)
Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page
http://www.akane.org/gary/comics.html
OTHER GREAT WEBPAGES WORTH VISITING
Zoogz's Fanfiction and Fandom Page
http://www.nav.to/Zoogz
The Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong
http://www.anime.sobhrach.com\~jeffwong\index.html
'Suicide Blast' by: Keener
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/3342/Suicide.html
Additional links for Keener's stuff
-- http://tmffa.com/
-- http://www.redrival.com/myrriden/index.html
Flashman's Flash Point
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/3105/
JOLT!!!
http://members.home.net/jolt.caffiene/welcome.htm
Website Number 9 MSTings
http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml
Lord Carnage's Cursed Fanboys Page!
http://carnage.fanfic.org
A Sailor Moon Romance
http://moonromance.simplenet.com/
Zen's Fanfiction Page
http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html
Webdragon's Lair
http://members.tripod.com/~WebDragon/
Sean Gaffney's Webpage
http://www.thekeep.org/~sean/index.html
"Her daughter was beside her also embracing the piece of wood, tears
in her eyes, murmuring, "Daddy ! Daddy !"."
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c) 1997 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights
reserved.
Keep Circulating the Fanfics....