MST6.7 Shorty Ep. 102 - "The Ugliest Women On the Net!"

*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)

(The future isn't what it used to be....)

"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SHORTY!)

EPISODE 2: THE UGLIEST WOMEN ON THE NET!

(A MSTing of an Ad)

MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7

This is a MSTing of an advertisement created by another company.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.

Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are
the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering
my own ass here folks....

Note: If you haven't read the first shorty 'Subliminally Seduce Women
Instantly!', please do so as it will help you understand the host segments
a little better. :)

(Cue "Mystery Science Theater 6.7 Love Theme" in 5... 4... 3....)

It's the not-too-distant future,
Last Sunday BC
There was this guy named Joel
Not so different from you or me
He worked at Gizmonic Institute
Just another guy in a red jumpsuit
He did a great job cleaning up the place,
But his bosses really hate him
So they shot him into space!!!!

Joel:
(OH... MY... GODDESS!!!)

Crow and Tom:
(IT'S MEGAMI-SAMA!)

(Instead of holding messed up video, Frank's holding a computer printout)

We'll send him crappy fanfics
The worst we can find (lalala)
He'll have to sit and read them all and we'll monitor his mind (lalala)

(Instead of where it shows the guys watching the movie, it shows them
ducking behind their seats for 'Artemis's Lover'.)

Now keep in mind Joel can't control
When the fanfics begin or end (lalala)
Because he used those special parts
To make his robot friends;

ROBOT ROLL CALL:

CAMBOT:
'Text only'?

Gypsy:
'Oh, my!'

Tom Servo:
'Sweet-o!'

CROOOOOOOW!!!
'I'm not a hentai!'

If your wondering how Joel eats and breathes
And other science facts (lalala)
Then repeat to yourself
*It's just a MiST*
You should really just relax
for MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7!!!!

* * *

DEEP 13

Dr. Clayton Forrester tugged his collar nervously as T Malachite V's Frank
helped him on with his labcoat. Dr. Lawrence Erhardt would be arriving
today and Dr. F wanted to be certain that he looked his best so he would
either intimidate Larry into ceasing his attempts to kill him or at least be
well dressed for his funeral when Larry finally made his move.

"How do I look?" Dr. F asked Frank nervously.

Frank shrugged. "I dunno. Evil, I guess. Mad, perhaps?"

Dr. Forrester rolled his eyes as he left his room and walked
towards the lab. "It will have to do. Did you remember to check the
metal detectors and bomb detectors at the door?"

"Checked and rechecked, Dr. F!" Frank replied. "If Larry's
going to kill you tonight, he won't do it with a bomb or any sort of metal
weapon."

"Good." Dr. Forrester breathed a sigh of relief.

"Of course, he could still use a wooden stake," Frank added, his
brow furrowed. "Or a plastic hand cannon with wooden bullets like that
assassin used in that Clint Eastwood movie...."

"Frank...." Dr. Forrester began.

"Or he could use poison when you're not paying attention...."
Frank continued without missing a beat. "Some kind of really painful
flesh-eating virus that keeps you alive but in constant pain for years as
you're slowly eaten alive from within...."

"FRANK! SHUT UP! I AM NOT GOING TO DIE!!!" Dr.
Forrester screamed, furious. "I'LL KILL HIM FIRST IF I HAVE TO!!!"

Frank blinked. "Hey, there's an idea. Kill him before he kills
you. What a bold and daring move, Dr. F...."

Dr. Forrester snorted. "Frank, it's not that simple and you know
it! Questions would be asked, DNA evidence would be left behind, you
would screw up somehow in disposing of the body and worst of all, our
entire rogue experiment with Joel would be uncovered! Besides, Larry's
probably implanted a bomb inside him to explode if his brain activity
ever ceases."

"Really?" Frank asked.

"It's what I would do," Dr. Forrester replied as he walked over
to the viewscreen. "In the meantime, though, let's pay a little visit to
our lab rats and give them a little Valentine's day heartburn...."

Suddenly, the sound of an old fashioned doorbell could be heard.
Dr. Forrester froze and turned around to stare fearfully at the door. He
took a deep breath and said...

"Open the door, Frank. I'm ready."

Frank walked over to the door and after a cautious glance at Dr.
Forrester, pulled open the steel vault door to reveal....

"HeLLo. wOuLd yOU LiKe tO bUy SOmE VaLEntInE cHOcLAteS
fOr yOUr sWEEtHaRt? I'm rAIsiNG mONeY fOr mY kNEe SuRgERy
aND...."

Frank's eyes lit up. "Chocolates! Oh boy! I'll take...."

"FRANK!!!" Dr. Forrester slammed the door in Torgo's face
while grabbing Frank by the front of his collar. "How can you even think
of Valentine chocolates when my life's in danger!" he growled, glaring
daggers at his assistant.

"Uh... cause I skipped lunch?" Frank replied feebly.

Dr. Forrester's eyes narrowed. Then he released Frank and
paused thoughtfully for a moment. "You like Valentine's day, don't
you, Frank?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"In fact, how does a big chocolate heart for Valentine's day
sound to you?" Dr. Forrester asked with a strange smile.

"Oh boy! That sounds great!" Frank replied excitedly. Then
he noticed the look on Dr. Forrester's face and felt a chill of fear go up
his spine.

"Uhhh... you're not thinking of ripping my heart out and dipping
it in chocolate, are you?" Frank inquired nervously.

"Frank! That's disgusting!" Dr. Forrester replied with a hurt
expression on his face. "I would never do anything that brutal or gory
for Valentine's Day... maybe Halloween, but never Valentine's day."

"Oh... okay, then where are you going to get the chocolate heart?"
Frank asked.

Dr. Forrester smiled.

* * *

SATELLITE OF LOVE

"Guys! It's finally finished! Come on over and look at it!
Lookie! Look! Look!" the voice of Crow T. Robot called out
triumphantly.

Tom Servo and Joel walked over to where Crow sat in front
of a computer with text on the screen. "What are you up to, Crow?"
Joel inquired.

Crow T. Robot leaned back in his chair and sighed with relief.
"Yes! It's finally finished! My latest masterpiece!"

"This isn't another revision of 'Earth Vs. Soup,' is it?" Tom
inquired.

"No! It's my latest novel! Check it out!" Crow replied, gesturing
frantically at the screen. Curious, Tom and Joel leaned in closer to read
the screen.

"The rain was pouring steadily." Joel read the text aloud.
"The sky was black as night, the rumble of thunder, the crashing of the
lightning as it struck the ground over and over again could be seen and
heard, as if expressing its contempt, its loathing for the ashen city that
lay beneath. The city that had once been bright and filled with the hopes
and dreams of so many now stood as a symbol of chaos, of broken spirits
and tortured souls, never again to see the light that once shone so brightly,
never given the chance to become what was now unreachable...."

Joel stopped reading for a moment to look at Crow. "Wow,
this looks pretty interesting, Crow. How long have you been writing this?"

"Oh, about the time when 'Earth Vs. Soup' tanked." Crow replied.
"Keep reading, the good stuff's coming right up."

Joel continued reading. "Yet, in this city of darkness and decay,
a single individual stood with the light, someone that would not allow
himself to give up hope, not allow himself to turn to other means to
continue his life. This person was unknown to history, nor did he ever
desire to be acknowledged. He held the fate of those left behind for he
was the last of his kind, the last true hope of the remaining inhabitants
of the city. The only hope for a civilization lost in darkness...."

"Okay, so who is this guy anyway?" Tom interrupted.

Joel scrolled down the screen... and scrolled some more... and
scrolled some more.... "Crow, where's the central plot? This story just
keeps talking about the main character and how he or she is the person
that will save the city! Is that all the story is about?"

"Well, yeah!" Crow replied. "I'm focusing solely on how the
main character is the savior of the city. Why should I bother getting
into details about *how* he or she saves the city if we already know he
or she is the savior of the city? Too many story waste time on the hows,
the what, the who, when all that really matters is that the city will be
saved because of the savior! Isn't that what really matters in the end?"

"But... that's like watching the last five minutes of Return of
the Jedi when Luke and his friends celebrating on Endor and you have
no idea why or how they got there or what happened?" Tom pointed out.

"So? They obviously accomplished what they set out to do,
whatever that was, so what else do we need to know?" Crow retorted.
"Just look at the upcoming Episode One of Star Wars. We already know
that Anakin Skywalker is going to become Darth Vader from episodes
4-6 but it's going to take three frigging episodes just for Skywalker to
become Darth Vader and then *another* three episodes to find out what
happens to him. Why not simply save valuable film and just reveal the
character's impact right from the get go? It just makes thing so much
easier...."

Joel put his hand on Crow's shoulder. "Crow, if they did that,
all movies would be short, boring and pointless. It'd be worse than an
independent film festival! And just think how hard it would be to MST
a film that short... Not to mention how many of them Dr. Forrester could
send us per episode... think about it."

"Eek! I never thought of it that way!" Crow replied as he saved
his work and shut off the computer. "I guess plot does have a place in
stories after all...."

Suddenly the red light flashed on the console. "Shake a leg, guys,
Sam and Max are calling," Joel said as he gave the red light a light tap.

* * *

DEEP 13

"Greetings, Inhumanoids! Before I reveal the evil that lies within
our invention for the week, why don't you go first?" Dr. Forrester said with
an evil grin.

Joel reached behind the counter and placed a heart shaped plastic
container on the counter. "It's a bottle of pink colored shaving cream! The
perfect valentine's gift for your hubby's stubble or your girlfriend's legs!
It comes in a variety of scents from cinnamon to chocolate and best of all, it
comes with 2 free gift certificates. One for a free box of chocolates at your
local candy store and the other for a free two week trial period at your local
fitness center. What'd think, sirs?"

Dr. Forrester nodded. "Very trendy, Joel. Although *red*
colored shaving cream would've be better since it allows for more
opportunities for nasty frat pranks. But that's just my opinion. Now,
as for my invention... Frank, if you'd come this way...."

Frank slowly walked towards the screen, dragging a portable
life support machine on wheels alongside him. Frank's face was quite
pale as he held a box of chocolates in front of him. "Now, normally...."
Dr. Forrester continued. "Valentine's Day has stores everywhere selling
chocolate hearts and yet the other major organs in the body are always
passed over. Therefore, I've invented a box of assorted chocolate body
organs!"

Cambot zoomed in as Dr. Forrester pointed to the various
chocolates. "See, here we have a chocolate liver, which I've filled with
a delicious butterscotch rum filling... And over here, we have a chocolate
funny bone, which I inserted with a delightful marshmallow marrow...
and these lungs are actually fruit roll ups with a chocolate shell...."

Joel and the bots facefaulted.

"Ah, I see you've figured out where they came from. Good for
you! Now, as for your experiment this week, in keeping with our
Valentine theme, we've dug up a spam e-mail advertising a refreshing
site that displays pictures of women that aren't all supermodels or
crowning achievements of plastic surgery. Just the opposite, actually."
Dr. Forrester chuckled. "So steel yourselves for the atrocity that is 'The
Ugliest Women on the Net!' Send them the fanfic, Frank...."

Frank remained motionless. "Oops, I almost forgot!" Dr.
Forrester exclaimed as he fiddled with the life support panels. Frank
suddenly jerked to life as he walked over to the file cabinet to find the
fanfic, the machine maintaining his vital functions.

Dr. Forrester turned back to the camera to see Joel and the bots
glaring at him. "Oh, will you relax!" Dr. Forrester said to them. "The
life support machine will keep him alive and I've got plenty of spare body
parts to replace the ones I made into chocolates. Besides, he asked for it!
He actually had the AUDACITY to think about his stomach when Larry's
coming over here to kill...."

Suddenly the doorbell rang again. "Clay? It's me, Larry. Are
you home?"

Dr. Forrester's eyes grew wide as he looked over at the door. Then
he turned back to the screen.

"Uh, I'll be seeing you later...."

* * *

SATELLITE OF LOVE

As the screen blinked off, Crow suddenly exclaimed. "Awww!
I wanted to see what happened!"

"But why, Crow? Shouldn't the fact that we know Dr. Forrester
is going to die at Larry's hand be enough to satisfy our curiosity?" Tom
teased.

"Oh, bite me!" Crow retorted.

Suddenly alarms and sirens suddenly rang out.

"OHHHH, WE'VE GOT SHORTY SIGN!!!" Joel cried out.

(Door 6: It slides open on both sides..)

(Door 5: It's made of beads. They explode out towards you, and you
move on..)

(Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.)

(Door 3: It's a castle gate, that rises into the ceiling..)

(Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and
touches the door. The door vanishes.)

(Door 1: It splits in four ways, twice.)

(Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.)

Joel emerged from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms,
Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping
over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his
own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to
him, Crow sitting on his right.

>The Ugliest Women On The Net!

Tom: And the ugly men that love them! On the next Ricki Lake!

Crow: You mean like Alanis Morisette?

>EJlE66k5@hotmail.com wrote:

Crow: Oh, look, a randomly generated address. This can't be spam,
not at *all*...

Joel: Oh, my Empress Shion....

Tom: So who is your favorite Kazei 5 lady, anyway?

Crow: I like Marta. I especially like Marta with Ling-Ling. And I really
like Marta with Ling-Ling and Shion with a big tub full of whipped cream.

Joel: <looks at you> You knew he was going to say that, didn't you?

>Do you have "Different" tastes?

Tom: Different from what?

Joel: Besides, bitter, sweet, sour, and salty? Ummm... nope!

Crow: Um... well, y'know, there's different strokes for different folks....

Tom: And most of them end up going to prison.

>Are you intrigued by the bizarre, the kooky, the kinky, and the
>downright grotesque -as long as it keeps it's distance?

Tom: Are you one of those who don't know the difference between "its"
and "it's?"

Joel: Why, yes, I watch Oprah Winfrey every day, why?

Crow: No! I want the bizarre, the kooky, the kinky, and the downright
grotesque right in front me! In fact, I want it to do a lap dance for me!

Tom: A lap dance from Paul Bearer in a leather speedo? You're *weird*.

Crow: AUUUUUGHHH!!! BAD MENTAL IMAGE!!!

>Do you enjoy seeing unspeakably horrific photos of hideously ugly
>women naked?

All: No.

Joel: You know, there's no right answer to that.

>Then have we got a deal for you!

Crow: <Rocky J. Squirrel> Now's here's something we hope you'll
really hate!

Tom: This is going to hurt, isn't it, Joel?

Joel: Yep.

Crow: Um... I'll take a number seven, and could you NOT super-size it?

Tom: And for god's sake, DON'T ask what's in the secret sauce!

>If you've been on the internet for any length of time,

Joel: ...then chances are you will never know the sweet touch of a woman.

Crow: Ouch.

>you've no doubt visited some of the many adult websites which feature
>photographs/videoclips of beautiful women naked.

Crow: Hey, Joel, are there really websites like that?

Joel: When you're older, honey.

Tom: Actually I visit the adult websites which featured
photographs/videoclips of beautiful fish naked.

Joel: Ah, those small mouthed bass give me the willies....

Crow: I want bass-fucking pictures and I want em now!

Tom: And I want live streaming bass sex shows IN MY BROWSER!

Joel: Guys....

>You've probably said to yourself: "Sure, beautiful women are ok for
>those fat-cats in Washington,

Joel: Unless your name is Bill Clinton.

Crow: Fat Cats? Does the Rescue Rangers know about this?

>but where can an average Joe like myself find some pictures of butt-ugly
>women in their birthday suits?"

Joel: Of course! I ask myself that very question every morning!

Crow: I dunno. Your family album?

Tom: The rest of the girl can be perfect but the butt *must* be ugly or
I'm just not interested!

>Well look no further pal, your prayers have been answered!

Crow: Spam is dead?

Joel: Prayers, Crow, not miracles.

Crow: Rats!

>You are about to enter the world's most spectacular archive of skanky
>nudie photos.

Tom: Yes, they're skanky and they're SPECTACULAR!

Joel: It's a skanky world after all....

Crow: Please keep your hands inside your pants at all times during your
visit. And please, no flash photography.

>Some of the photos we have unearthed have been locked away in vaults
>for years.

Joel: Then we tricked Geraldo into thinking they contained Al Capone's
money and he cracked them open for us! Ha! What a maroon!

>You'll chill at the nauseating pale flesh of the human whale woman!

Tom: But we've already seen pictures of Monica Lewinsky.

Crow: Bing! That's a big one zero on the burn-o-meter!

>You'll marvel at the sight of the oldest stripper on earth!

Joel: <Cologne> Son-in-law! If you marry Shampoo, I'll give you a lap
dance!

Crow and Tom: Ick, ick, ick....

>For the first time in forty years, you will be able to see the human gorilla
>woman perform the hula-dance of forbidden pleasures!

Tom: Yes, it's Curious Georgina! Now appearing at a strip bar or
traveling circus near you!

Joel: Soon to star in her first major film role: Showchimps!

>All for only $4.95!!

Crow: Come on by and visit our bargain bin of shame!

>Once inside, you will be astounded by color photographs

Tom: No black and white grainy photos here! Our ugly women are
live and in living color!

>of some of nature's cruelest oddities.

Crow and Tom: <start humming the ICP Oddities theme.>

Joel: Heh, actually, the gimmicks John Tenta, Giant Silva and Kurrigan
got stuck with *WAS* rather cruel....

>We've got women so fat,

All: HOW... FAT... WERE... THEY?

>you'll need a 20" monitor.

Crow: ...placed on both sides of *your* monitor just to see their love
handles!

>We've got 'crackwhore skinny' women.

Joel: We've got Somali women who are emaciated from lack of food.
Near-total starvation! Oh, what fun!

>We've got bald women.

Crow: <George Castanza> They're *BALD*, Jerry!

Tom: Sinead O' Connor. Woo hoo.

>Hairy women.

Joel: Rapunzel?

Tom: Yohko Mano?

Crow: Linda Tripp?

Joel: She's not hairy, is she?

Crow: No one really knows... and no one wants to find out.

>Old women.

Crow: New women, blue women, borrowed women....

Tom: Estelle Getty?!? Noooooo!!!

>And women so ugly they'll make you fall to your knees and curse the
>day you purchased a modem!

Joel: Actually, it's spam like this that makes me do that.

Crow: <Fred G. Sanford> They've got a webpage for ugly? You better
put Ester in there and rename it www.ugly.com!

>Did we mention that, for a limited time, we are offering lifetime
>memberships for only $4.95!!?

Tom: Why, yes, you did!

Joel: My lifetime, or your site's?

Crow: Lifetime for a limited time? Guess that makes 'em the gods, eh?

>So take your phone off of the hook,

Joel: The spam is coming from inside the house!

>pull the window shades, lock the doors,

Tom: Activate the burglar alarm, buy a semi-automatic, tease your dog,
set bear traps on the floor, swing wildly at the air with a baseball bat....

Joel: Yeah, lord knows you wouldn't want someone to walk into your
house uninvited and blab your sick fetish with ugly women to
EVERYBODY....

>make sure that the neighbors are without suspicion, and brace
>yourself for the most terrifying experience of your life...

Crow: And what better way not to arouse suspicion than to give them the
impression that you're hiding something!

Joel: Um... how can I get onto this web site? The modem won't work if
the phone's off the hook.

Tom: I think you're better off, Joel.

>THE GALLERY OF UGLY WOMEN!

Crow: SHOUT FOR US BY NAME!

>To enter the gallery, visit our website:

Tom: All those in favor of deleting the address so these dorks don't make
any money off our MSTing?

Joel and Crow: Aye!

Tom: So be it.

>*********************************************************
>************

Joel: Oh, those must be the stars Ed McMahon is always searching for....

>This message was sent to you by Overseas Internet Promotions,
>Inc. of Miami, Fl.

Crow: Joel, is Miami overseas from where we are?

Joel: We're in a satellite, Crow.

Crow: Oh yeah.

Tom: Hey, aren't these the same guys that helped promote subliminally
seducing women instantly?

Crow: Yeah, next thing you know, they'll promote a service for
hermaphrodites that want to view erotic pictures of animated cats....

Joel: Urrrgh... Don't go there, Crow... My stomach's queasy enough.

>If you have a product or service you would like
>promoted, we can help!

Crow: Hello, Overseas Internet Promotions, Inc? I'm trying to auction
off my collection of dog vomit!

Joel: Hello? Yes, I have this product I'd like promoted. It's a device that
allows spam to instantly be removed from your e-mail and replicated
1000 times back to the person that sent it. Hello? Hello? Anyone there?

>Call today: 305-668-7502

Tom: And please: call collect!

>*********************************************************
>*************

Crow: Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

Joel: Nah, they take milk baths once a week in our galaxy.

>*********************************************************
>*********************

Crow: Well, I've got my moonbeams in a jar, now where'd I put my swing?

Tom: Ah, yes, the ancient internet tradition of adding stars at the end of
an spam e-mail....

Joel: Or snowflakes, whichever you prefer....

>This message was sent to you by Overseas Internet Promotions, Inc. of
>Miami, Fl.

Tom: Deja Vu!

Joel: It was so nice, they spammed us twice!

>If you would like your website promoted, give us a call!

Crow: Yeah, being promoted by a service that endorses Subliminally
Seducing Women and Ugly Women being exploited can't possibly hurt
your own website....

>305-668-7502

Tom: Ironically, their phone number matches Sally Struthers
measurements exactly!

Joel: Tom....

>********************************************************
>*******************

Crow: <CB Radio> Uh, roger that, Dispatch. Stars appear to be armed
and dangerous! Proceeding with extreme caution.

Tom: Huh? What are you talking about?

Crow: Cause they're 'shooting stars'! Hehehehe... get it?

Tom: Oh. Hahaha. That is funny.

Crow: Oh, you try coming up with original star and/or snow riffs for
every MSTing!

Joel: <Casey Kasem> ...and keep watching the stars!

Tom: Like that?

Crow: Oh, both of you can bite me! I'm outta here!

(Crow leaves the theater in a huff)

Joel: Hey, I was just trying to help. Let's go Tommy.

(Joel picks up Tom and walks towards the exit.)

* * *

SATELLITE OF LOVE

Joel noticed the red button flashing on the console as he and
the bots entered the bridge. Joel gave it a tap and the viewscreen came
to life.

"Hi, Joel! Long time no see!" a hauntingly familiar voice
could be heard.

Joel and the bots gawked at the screen. "Larry?!? Is that really
you?"

Dr. Lawrence Erhardt beamed at them through black framed
glasses. He was now wearing a green labcoat over his double breasted
black suit. Behind him, stood Frank, fully healed and with a contented
smirk on his face.

"Boy, it's great to be back guys! You have no idea how long I've
been waiting for the chance to be here again!" Larry continued in his
whiny voice. "I just wanted to let you know that I'll be continuing the
experiments from now on...."

"WHAT?!?" the MSTing exclaimed, shocked.

"B-But what happened to Dr. Forrester?" Joel inquired.

Larry paused for a moment, glancing back at Frank who smiled
happily. "Oh, Clay decided to take a long overdue vacation and left me
in charge till he gets back... assuming I feel like letting him out."

"Letting him out?" Tom inquired.

"Well... since Clay trapped me in 'Earth Vs. The Spider', I
thought it was only fair I trap him in a bad movie for a while and see
how *HE* likes it!" Larry giggled like a schoolgirl.

"But how did you manage to trick him into...." Crow began.

Larry gestured at Frank. "He jabbed him in the butt with a
hypo after opening the door. The rest was easy."

"Frank betrayed Dr. F?" Tom asked, surprised.

"Can you blame him after Clayton made candy from his internal
organs? Not to mention all the other horrible things he's done to him
over the past few years...." Larry pointed out.

"Enough was enough and it was time for a change," Frank
added, trying his best not to sound like Owen Hart.

"Wow, that's was really devious and sneaky of you guys," Crow
said.

"THANK YOU!!!" Larry and Frank replied at the same time.

"Oh, well since Dr. F isn't around anymore, couldn't you bring
the satellite down so we can finally escape from it?" Joel asked politely.

Larry gave a sad smile. "I'm afraid not, Joel. Even if it didn't
go against my base instincts as a mad scientist, there really wouldn't be
much of a show without you three, now would there?"

Joel sighed. "I guess not. But couldn't you at least send us some
decent spam for a change?"

"Hey, this isn't the Satellite of Hat... er... another satellite in another
universe that I'm not supposed to know about!" Larry quickly recovered.
"But don't worry, I won't send you any more spam on ugly women if I can
help it." Larry retrieved today's experiment from the computer. "File this,
Frank." he said as he handed it to Frank.

"No problem, Dr. E!" Frank replied, looking deliriously happy
as he went to file the experiment. "Until next time, Billy Joel!" Larry
added with a wink as he pushed the button.

"Oh, one more thing!" Joel called out. "I was just curious as to
what film you stuck Dr. F into?"

Larry smiled.

* * *

"Uhhhhhh... my aching butt... what happened?"

Dr. Forrester rolled over in what appeared to be a bed. He felt
like he had weights around his stomach and his skin and hair felt very
greasy. Puzzled, Dr. F rose to his feet and glanced around at what
appeared to be the interior of an apartment.

"What in the hell....?" Dr. Forrester exclaimed as he rushed
over to the bathroom and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror....

...and saw Joe Don Baker looking back at him.

After a few moments of prodding and a long hard pitch to make
sure he wasn't having a nightmare, Dr. Forrester sighed while thinking to
himself....

"Oh well. At least I'll get to sleep with Linda Evans."

THE REAL END

And so ends the second chapter of my 'Shorty' series, finished just in
time for Valentine's Day, thanks in no small part to assistance from
Gary Kleppe and Lynxara, to whom I am very grateful to. :)

I decided to start MSTing other stuff besides Anime MSTings in order to
expand and grow. My first taste of this came with working with Lynxara
on Post 105 of her 'Mystery Wrestling Theater 3000' Series and now I
hope to continue to expand with MSTings of ads such as this and other
areas in the future. I still plan to continue MSTing the anime stuff, as
it's way too much fun to give up. My 20th Anime MSTing is nearly
finished and it should hopefully provide plenty of laughs. :)

I hope you enjoyed this and C&C is very welcome. (fcasper@yesic.com)
A MSTing for all Seasons
http://www.nabiki.com/mst
A full archive of all Mystery Science Theater 6.7 episodes, Megane 6.7
fanfiction, and collaborations!

Shizen's Versatile Home Page V3.0
http://svhp.webjump.com/ (Contains links to my MSTings and fanfics)
(Alternate site: http://www.tass.org/fanfic/MST3k/)

Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/

SEASON ONE
------------------

101- "GAMES" by Artemis (SM Lemon)
102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (Original Draft) by Oscar (SM Lemon)
103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA" by The Flashman
(SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER)
104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic)
w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin (R1/2 Fanfic)
105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic)
106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson (Nuku Nuku Fanfic)
107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton
(La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover)
108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic)
109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky
(SM/WWF Crossover)
w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon (SM/RL Crossover)
110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER
CHRISTMAS" by Dr. Thinker (SM Christmas Fanfic)

SEASON TWO
-------------------
201- "THAT GIRL" PT. 1-2 by Oscar (SM Lemon)
202- "VIRGIN WARRIOR SAILOR MOON" by Umino (SM Lemon)
203- "*R*P*M*" by Flynn (SM/SPAWN Crossover)
204- "RANKO'S LIFE" PT. 1-2 by Hitomi Ichinohei (R1/2 Fanfic)
205- "TRAPPED" by Mr_Jazz (SM Lemon)
206- "OSCAR TOON" PT. 1-4 by Oscar (SM/DBZ/WB Crossover)
207- "CALIFORNIA DREAMING" by Shakari
(Mutiple Crossover Lemon)
208- "A RANMA 1/2 FANFIC" PT. 1-2 by Sheep (R1/2 Fanfic)
209- "TRIANGLE TANGLE" by CATS (SM Lemon)
210- "URUSEI YATSURA: THE KIDNAPPING" by Shutaro Mendou
(UY Lemon)

SEASON THREE
----------------------
301- "A WET DREAM COME TRUE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Lemon)
302- "TORTURED ECHO" PT. 1-4 by Trakal (R1/2 Fanfic)
303- "RANMA KILLS!" PT. 1-2 by Sir Asayogure (R1/2 Fanfic)
304- "OKONOMIYAKI SUMMER" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic)
w/short "UNDER THE MISTLETOE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic)
305- "XMAS SPECIAL: A CHRISTMAS FIT FOR A POKEMON"
by Dr. Thinker (Pokemon Christmas Fanfic)
306- "9-BALL DREAMS" PT. 1-2 by Mr_Jazz (SM Crossover Lemon)
307- "WINTER" by Joseph Palmer (R1/2 Fanfic)
308- "UKYO GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES" PT. 1-2 by R_Vincent
(R1/2 Lemon)

SHORTY!
-------------
101- SUBLIMINALLY SEDUCE WOMEN INSTANTLY!
102- THE UGLIEST WOMEN ON THE NET!
103- PHEROMONES!
104- THE INTERNET SPY AND YOU!!

OTHER MSTINGS I'VE CONTRIBUTED TO
---------------------------------------------------------
"DIMISIONAL TROUBLE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic)
"MOONDUSTED" by Stephen Ratliff (SM/TNG Crossover)

Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/

"THE COUNTESS CHRONICLES" by Lin Lin (SM Dark Lemon)
"9 1/2 CHIPMUNKS" by Toon Dreams (Rescue Rangers Yaoi Lemon)

Lefty's MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/MSTings/index.htm

'MYSTERY WRESTLING THEATER 3000', POST 105: DOUBLE TROUBLE!
(Two interviews with the Ultimate Warrior and '3:16 Rulzs!' by Oracle)

Website Number 9 MSTings
http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml

"THE DAY OF EMERGENCE" by Jeffrey Lee
(Ranma 1/2/Eddings/SM Crossover)

"REDHEADS" by Robert Haynie
(Slayers/Ranma 1/2 Crossover)

Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page
http://www.akane.org/gary/comics.html

OTHER GREAT WEBPAGES WORTH VISITING

Zoogz's Fanfiction and Fandom Page
http://www.nav.to/Zoogz

The Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong
http://www.anime.sobhrach.com\~jeffwong\index.html

'Suicide Blast' by: Keener
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/3342/Suicide.html
Additional links for Keener's stuff
-- http://tmffa.com/
-- http://www.redrival.com/myrriden/index.html

Flashman's Flash Point
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/3105/

JOLT!!!
http://members.home.net/jolt.caffiene/welcome.htm

Website Number 9 MSTings
http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml

Lord Carnage's Cursed Fanboys Page!
http://carnage.fanfic.org

A Sailor Moon Romance
http://moonromance.simplenet.com/

Zen's Fanfiction Page
http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html

Webdragon's Lair
http://members.tripod.com/~WebDragon/

Sean Gaffney's Webpage
http://www.thekeep.org/~sean/index.html

">Do you enjoy seeing unspeakably horrific photos of hideously ugly
>women naked?"

Keep Circulating the Fanfics....

Back
Mystery Science Theater 6.7
Megane 6.7 Archives
Home